Note: This is a guest post from Anthony Ongaro of Break the Twitch.
When my wife and I first started decluttering our house, it felt incredible.
With each unneeded item we donated, recycled, or took out of our home, we felt lighter and experienced new space opening around us. Over the next several months, a few thousand items went out the door. The contrast was stark: surfaces were clear and our home felt more welcoming than ever.
Coming home after a long day at work became something we looked forward to—a peaceful sight rather than reminders of things to be picked up. Cleaning up before having guests over, what used to take us a couple hours, took us only ten minutes, which subsequently increased the frequency of invitations and time spent with friends.
However, a few months after making the bulk of the changes, the glaringly positive effects began to fade.
Our lives were still significantly easier due to the streamlining, but the happiness and satisfaction we felt as a result of the minimizing process seemed to return back to normal.
At first, we wondered if we didn’t fully complete the appropriate amount of downsizing. Did we need to continue donating, selling, and recycling to get that happiness boost again? It might solve the problem, at least temporarily, but even that process would meet an eventual end once we ran out of things we didn’t want. We’d have to face the “Now what?” sooner or later.
We were experiencing “hedonic adaptation,” the observed tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative changes. We had grown accustomed to less time spent on cleaning and organizing; other activities began to fill in the gaps—some productive and some not so much.
After reading extensively about the joy that minimalism brings, we found this frustrating. We had seemingly arrived at our desired destination but didn’t feel that our journey was complete. There was a missing piece to the puzzle.
What we found was that other distractions gradually crept into our lives as we freed up time from other tasks. No matter how much time we saved, it wouldn’t be helpful unless we used that time efficiently. Hours spent on a smartphone throughout the day did not add to our happiness. But working on a project, simply being still, reading for pleasure, or learning about something new did continually make our lives better.
It became clear the pursuit of satisfaction in life is a daily practice that never ends, and that’s for the best.
The purging process eventually reaches a point of winding down, but the gratitude and contentment that comes from appreciating all that we have should never stop. The calming of our desire for what we don’t need is an enduring task that continues to this day.
Getting rid of the clutter in our lives created more opportunity for us to pursue the things we’re passionate about. But it was still up to us to make the most of the opportunity.
For us, that means traveling, spending time with people we care about, dedicating time to our passion projects, creating more, and consuming less. What brings the greatest satisfaction in life will differ with each person. But the important part is we continually pursue them. It is with this intentional, consistent pursuit that happiness will follow.
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Anthony Ongaro blogs and vlogs at Break the Twitch where he helps others explore ways to live a more intentional life. I also recommend following him on Twitter.
I am so totally here as well. Still looking around in our house after more things to get rid of, but seldomly finding any. The feeling of “now what” is definitely there. And some days indeed, spending way too much time distracting myself on my smartphone and not so useful things. Trying to organize myself though to spend time on things that are more meaningful.
Thanks for letting me know I´m far from being alone in this feeling :-)
Plateau reached – what do I do now? Every spare hour, or 1/2 day for the last 8 months has been spent on decluttering – the thrill of throwing something away is addictive. Now my gaps feel large – not the physical gaps, but the gap of time – what does my heart desire to do? I’m quite scared of finding something to do – and having to buy the materials to do it with … And then ending up back where I came from.
I loved this post. It’s important to be aware of that transition between decluttering the stuff and creating meaning out of the space and time left behind. I copied (and linked) a big chunk of this on my own blog post for today:) Thank you!
That’s how I feel… My goal was to get rid of everything I do not need by 2016 and I thought I did but now I feel like I need to get rid of more. I am glad I found this article of yours.
Great article.
I “minimalized” and redecorated my guest room a couple of years ago. For a while I found myself going in there for a mini vacation from clutter in the rest of the house. Now I don’t do that anymore.
Though I purged a couple hundred items of clothing from my closet recently, the momentum hasn’t carried me to the rest of the house. Maybe just the commitment to cease acquiring and the occasional giveaway will bring more contentment, if not a real “high.”
This post really caught my attention, thank you Anthony. Two aspects in particular struck me:
*I love that with less cleaning up to do, you found that you increased the frequency of invitations to friends – that’s such a great and unexpected bonus of de-cluttering.
* You’ve described the slight roller coaster of emotions you went through – I’m intrigued as to what the time frame was for your ‘clear space, clear brain euphoria to level out?
Laura, thank you – it honestly happened pretty quickly for me. Maybe six months? I tend to move pretty quickly on things so maybe shorter than usual. Thanks again for your thoughts!
Too true! The cycle of consumerism trains us to keep seeking instant gratification and it takes self awareness and a commitment to break the cycle and seek sustainable satisfaction to overcome it. It was a struggle for me as well until I realized that I didn’t have purge and reorganize everything at once. Some items like clothing I did in a day or two, other things like kitchen items and cosmetics I did over weeks/months. In the meantime I kept a list of things I would finally be able to do as I cleared stuff out and didn’t have to tend to it anymore. It helped me stay focused and appreciate how far I had come.
Oh so that’s how it works! I still haven’t gotten to the part where the house is streamlined. Actually, it is on the surface, but please don’t open a closet! Thank you Anthony for the inspiration and sage advise.
We’re the opposite, Sunny. We have a little less that’s visible, but we were pretty neat before, so it’s not a big change. What is enormously different for us is that, now, when you open a closet or a cupboard or look a a shelf, most are much emptier than before.
Love this post. I have found a lot of joy and peace in getting rid of the unnecessary junk in my life. One of the biggest things that brings me joy in my life is decluttering the amount of virtual and digital clutter that I have.
Thanks!
Nathan, the virtual / digital aspect is the next frontier for me. It’s been slow going, but one step at a time. Thank you for reading!
There’s really a contentment when you declutter and I found joy when I know all I have is what I need.I would feel overwhelmed owning so much stuffs.
Great post!
I agree i have been getting rid of things for years and yes it does feel great in the beginning and i felt it consumed me to keep on and on with it, trying different numbers ie 10 items this week etc, but i soon realised that life holds much more than that, but i also know that even though i know a lot of truths about possessions we need things and as long as they don,t control us then things are fine, i just like neat and tidy but the unpredictable is always lurking isn,t it
love Jacqueline
I loved this! I’ve been spending way too much time on my smart phone and laptop lately and actually find a direct correlation with how much time I spend on it with how happy I feel at any given time. It can be easy to passively take part in those activities, but it definitely doesn’t leave us feeling good, productive, or happy!
Completely! I’m glad the post resonated with you.
Gratitude is a daily process not a once in a while activity. Something we often forget when the demands of life take over. I appreciate your insights in this article.
Absolutely – the bottom line is do less, have more. More time, more space, more fun.
This is good to know that this happens to others as well. I have felt like I have hit a plateau several times.
Being minimalist also has its “downsides”, yet they’re not that bad at all. Thanks for pointing them out in this post.
Minimalism has never been this good!
I’ve never experienced a downside.
There is so much truth in this post. Thank you for sharing and for introducing his blog, also. I will definitely visit and check it out. :)
Thank you, Anthony, for saying something that I’ve thought about for a long time but haven’t seen addressed in minimalist blogs: that the buzz that comes from letting things go quickly fades. I do experience an ongoing satisfaction from living with less, but it’s more a quiet contentment now. The truth is, clutter can be a barrier to happiness, but its removal does not necessarily guarantee it. Thanks for voicing this important idea.
My wife and I are retired 63 year old global nomads. We allow ourselves one suitcase and one backpack each. If it doesn’t fit into one suitcase then we probably don’t need it. We travel the world staying one year each in a different country. Two more weeks in Turkey and then we are off to Belize. Living life the way it was meant to be lived.
Wow! That sounds truly amazing!
Tim, somewhere between where my wife and I are now and what you’re doing is exactly what we’re looking for. Sounds like an incredible journey.
This reminds of me of stories you hear of people who retire and then don’t know what to do with themselves. They think that not working will bring happiness, and initially it does. Then the novelty wears off. This is something that I have been thinking about as we simplify. If acquiring all this stuff didn’t make me happy, it is unlikely that getting rid of it will bring long term happiness either. Getting rid of my stuff will eliminate all the onerous tasks involved in maintaining my stuff, which will be awesome, but that is not a substitution of long term happiness or life purpose. So hopefully I will find those answers in the open spaces left behind.
“I will find those answers in the open spaces left behind”
Jill, I love this line — it gets the heart of the matter. Decluttering and purging have paved the way for creativity. Finally there’s room…
Great post! I feel like my heart and mind are constantly telling me to simplifiy but I struggle to actually do it. I think I start believing I already have little but I know I can have much less…and we would be more than okay.
http://www.sweetlytattered.com
This is EXACTLY what happened with me. After downsizing and decluttering to a wonderful level, I found myself with a lot more time and energy, but didn’t really know what to do with it! What a great problem to have, but it was one which took some intentional thought in order to move out of that stage. It still amazes me just how much the minimalist mindset can open up for a person and a family by removing the unnecessary.
This post couldn’t have been more timely for me, Anthony. After getting rid of 65% of my belongings, you’d think I’d feel satisfied with my progress – and I did for a while – but then I found myself looking around and wondering if I should get rid of more. That wonderment was definitely coming from a place of want: wanting to feel, once again, how good it felt to get rid of so much stuff in the first place; wanting to remember how good it felt to realize I could live with less – and even be happier for it. Eventually, I came to a similar conclusion: that I need to stop chasing that feeling and instead just appreciate how good life is these days. Now I’m even more excited to chat tomorrow. :)
Hi Cait! :) :) :)
Aww, hi Judy! :D
Cait! Yes – just being present and accepting that we have enough in this moment is challenging, but rewarding. Let’s chat again soon!
Thank you so much for this post! I’ve been a ‘middle class’ minimalist (What I call it) for years now & every time I think I’m happy, I keep trying to find things to get rid of! Why? Because I need that high! This post made me realize that I’m not not happy because I have more to get rid of, I’m not happy because I want that continued high of getting rid of items. And this post has also shown me that instead of looking for items, I should fill my time with more hobbys I enjoy & to just sit sometime & take it all in.
Thanks for sharing this, I’m definitely going to be checking out his blog! My whole blog/life is currently focused on this very topic. :D
| Lauren Jade |
Lauren Jade Lately
Simplify Life, Maximize Happiness
I live in a 500 square foot condo, which is a great way for me to work on minimalism. As I refuse to get a storage locker, I have to fit everything I own in this condo. I can’t bring in items that are redundant or useless. Everything has to have a space for it, and it has to be used within 3 months or donated. Everyone I know tells me that eventually I will have to move into a bigger space so I can fit in the stuff that I will eventually get.
They don’t understand that I deliberately choose less everyday, so I can not only have a more fulfilling financial life, but more time, more energy, and less hassle of taking care of my stuff.
You have the perfect life! I live with my bf in a 2 bedroom apt & may have to downsize to 1 bedroom & although I am a minimalist, I’m afraid if I downsize some more & get rid of the extra yet loved peices, I won’t ever want a bigger place! It’s good to have that problem though, isn’t it?! So good of you not to get a storage unit & to continue & always have less! Keep doing what you’re doing, you have the perfect life!
Good for you for not indulging in a storage locker/room! I had friends who paid $100/mo. for one for 30 years! You do the math! When it was finally decided upon to clean out all the family treasures, they were broken, rotted, etc. = Worthless to anyone. And these were not people who could afford to waste that amount of money.
I so agree! We went overseas for two years and stored out things and it’s taken 1.5 years since we have been back to get rid of the lock up and we said it would only be 3 months :/. The upside is that not living with the extra ‘stuff’ for 3.5 years means we are now less attached to it (and can”t remember half of it!). We’ve finally let go of the lock up and that’s $150 per month saved but we’ve brought 7 boxes back with us. I need to look more positively at what I have got rid off but sometimes all I can see is ‘stuff’ and, now, we are down to the curly stuff. Mementoes, photos, ‘precious things’, letters and it’s like wading through mud – it takes ages and I just seem to move it around rather than OUT. The wardrobes and books were easier than this!
Within the last couple of weeks I’ve gotten rid of 5 large bags of things that no longer brought me joy or use. It’s felt great…and I am now on a roll. My summer project is to whip this house into shape. It looks so much better already :) I’ve had to replace a few things (old curtains and bedding) — I hate being a consumer, but certain things do need to be replaced from time to time. I’ve never gotten to the point Anthony, where I say…”OK, I’m done. What now”? I doubt that I ever will. For me it seems to be a constant pursuit. I love the journey. Just love it!!! :)
This has been my exact struggle lately – thank you for this post.
“the pursuit of satisfaction in life is a daily practice that never ends, and that’s for the best.”
Thank you for that, that’s just what I needed to read.
Thank you Sandra, we all need to be reminded!
“Getting rid of all the clutter in our lives created more opportunity for us to pursue the things we’re passionate about. But it was still up to us to make the most of the opportunity.”
That is both literally and metaphorically the meaning of pursuing happiness: make the time and space for the things you want and need, and leave all else aside. I wrote about struggling to do just that, as a new mum of two, and how inevitably some things are left aside, including ironing (!) and spending time with people who don’t ‘add’ to my life. http://goo.gl/qHzlCh