Note: The following is a guest post from Vincent Nguyen.
In a society bent towards consumerism, minimalist living is counter-cultural. It uproots assumptions and challenges behaviors we’ve learned from others. It can be scary and mysterious—most new things are.
My mother is the exact opposite of minimalist. She makes good money, but still finds herself in financial debt because of her spending habits. When visiting, I find it difficult to avoid jamming my toes or scraping the sides of my feet against some sort of box when I enter her house. It’s cluttered.
My personal journey into minimalism started with the realization that my mom wasn’t any happier every time she bought a new technological toy. Neither did she feel any better about a house filled with stuff. I began to notice that I got along just fine—even better perhaps—with fewer possessions. I began cutting down more and more. It became part of who I am.
Still, people don’t always understand why my room has only functional things inside, why I don’t have tons of clothes, and why my room is always so clean. I have found that people are drawn to the idea of tidiness, owning less, and finding contentment without buying, but they still hold objections and concerns about minimalism.
My hope is to address some of the most common objections I hear. Hopefully, you will find minimalism is much easier than you think. And perhaps the many benefits will persuade you to make the leap.
10 Common Objections to Minimalism
1. I don’t have the time to start.
Surprisingly, it doesn’t take too long to start the process of cutting down the possessions that you own. In fact, there are tons of creative little tricks you can implement that can start the process, eventually having significant impact.
For example, every morning make it a goal to get rid of one small item you know you don’t need. Maybe every time you do the laundry, you can remove one article of clothing. Pick something out and toss it away as you go.
If you have a lot of clothes, the simple act of turning around all your hangers can get you started. When you wear an item, hang it back up with the hanger facing the opposite direction. After a few months, you’ll probably be surprised with how many clothes you never wear.
Know it’s a process. You don’t have to complete it all at once.
2. Buying things makes me happy.
I’m sure you noticed that after buying something, you feel slightly happier for a short period of time. But soon, you begin gravitating back towards your previous levels of happiness.
There is actually a phrase for that cycle. It’s called “hedonic adaptation,” and explains why we are only temporarily happier after acquiring something new.
Shortly after their winnings, even the biggest lottery winners are often found to be just as content as they were before they hit it big. New purchases don’t have the same thrill anymore. We buy more and more, hoping to achieve happiness. But it’s more like running on a treadmill—never fully reaching our destination.
We know it’s true because we’ve all experienced it before. Keep that feeling in mind next time you start to think buying things makes you happy. It is very short-lived.
3. I’m too used to having ______.
Again, minimalism should be considered to be a process. It starts with only one step at a time. Make small changes. Adapt at your own pace so it’s digestible. Remove the picture in your mind of an overnight shift to a minimalist lifestyle.
It is always a process and you can tweak what you’d like. There are no hard and fast rules, guidelines, or obligations. And you don’t have to get rid of something you genuinely hold important. Minimalism is about cutting the excess, not removing what you love or use.
4. I may get rid of something I need in the future.
Ah, yes. The “what if?” question. Know that you are not alone. In fact, this is one of the most common struggles we all share. It is interesting that we always try to predict the future, even though we are horrible at it.
Get rid of things that are easily replaced and you won’t have that discussion with yourself.
If you get rid of small things that are inexpensive (yet still manage to take up a lot of room), you can always replace them in the future. Most things can be replaced with minimal expense and minimal effort nowadays. But most likely, you’ll find yourself to be far more resourceful than you imagined. Take your time removing large, expensive items—that should make the process easier.
5. I would love to simplify but my ______ wouldn’t agree.
Sandy Kreps wrote an article on this website about the very topic of getting on the same page with your spouse. She recommends you find common ground, focus on the positives, seek input, start small, and start with yourself first.
Joshua Becker, the founder of Becoming Minimalist, is more committed to minimalism than his wife, but that doesn’t mean they don’t get along. They find the line that makes the other uncomfortable and make sure not to cross it. It works well when you work on figuring it out together… just like everything else in life.
6. I have too many commitments.
Harvard Business Review created an excellent article in early September about how people compete against one another over how “busy” they are. Many of us are caught up in believing we’re being productive or busy even though most of it is in our heads.
If you are feeling an overwhelming sense of busy, minimalism is actually a great opportunity to start practicing time management. Segment your time. Remove the unessential. Become more productive at the things that actually matter. That, in a sense, is minimalism.
To regain focus, I have found the Pomodoro Technique to be very powerful. The technique teaches you to work in bursts while allowing you the freedom to take breaks. The standard practice is 25 minutes of driven productivity followed by 5 minute breaks fostering both intentional productivity and intentional rest.
7. Minimalism is easy for you. It’s your personality to live with less. But that’s not me!
Though there may be some truth in that statement, it’s certainly not all personality. Minimalism is a conscious decision to pursue less. Many of us have made it and almost none of us had it completely easy.
I didn’t just wake up one morning and decide, “I’m going to be minimalist!” For me, it happened through a series of realizations and struggles. A lot of thinking and sacrifices took place.
I didn’t decide to love less because of my personality. I decided to live with less because I saw value in it. There may be some people out there who desire less since birth, but they are a small minority. The rest of us struggled through it. Eventually, we thanked ourselves for doing so.
8. The math doesn’t add up, how could someone be happier with less?
It sounds bizarre, but having less can make you a lot happier. When you have a lot of possessions, you have extra worry. You have more to clean. You have more to manage, more to organize, more to repair, and more to replace.
When you own less, you find more freedom, less stress, and less worry. And that doesn’t even begin to mention the financial benefits of owning less.
There are so many problems that can be solved by subtracting. It’s almost surprising more people haven’t discovered it.
9. I’m an overthinker and there’s nothing I can do about it!
Simplifying your thoughts isn’t easy, but it certainly isn’t impossible either. I used to be an over-thinker.
Every single social interaction would leave me anticipating what would be said, how I should respond, and of course what I did wrong once it’s over. This bled into every other aspect of my life where I tried to control all the variables.
Without a doubt, meditation has become a common solution for over-thinkers and is a valuable step towards minimalism.
10. I don’t want to be judged by others.
In a society where we are evaluated based on what we own, it can be scary to break free and purposely seek less. People still don’t always understand why I don’t want things.
I get asked a lot of questions about my choices. I may even be seen as an outsider for a while, but none of it matters. They ask. They move on. Typically, I don’t stay on their mind for long because they’re more concerned about what others think of them anyway.
I spoke with Joshua a few weeks ago. We drank coffee. We talked about life and we talked about minimalism. We discussed how others perceive minimalism. People eventually notice he purposefully owns less. And when they do, one of two things happen: 1) They forget about it and no longer make a big deal of it, or 2) they admire his simplicity. It’s usually that simple. It never occurs to most that they could find contentment with less.
So what’s holding you back from exploring what minimalism has to offer?
I haven’t cleaned up my closets of my seasonal clothes, but I really want my daughter to keep some of those. We wear the same pants sizze. Some party dresses that I used to wear still fit but I don’t work in office anymore. I wear sweatpants and pj’s when I am staying home. But I doubt my daughter would want me to keep those for her because she is much a fashionista and like modern fashion. So don’t keep anything to give to your children. They may not want them.
I have been keeping china I bought in college thinking I would pass it along to my daughter. Nope, she doesn’t want it, so that’s my next project, getting it packed up and out.
I think young adults these days are smarter than we are. Why buy stuff just to look at,lol
One huge advantage for me has been the reduction in housework. I have never been an avid cleaner. I used to clean my mother’s house, which was loaded with old china tea cups and knickknacks from their lives. It took many hours to do properly. Now in my house I lift two or three objects, mostly pictures and useful things, and the dust away. Housework is so much easier and I love the clear open spaces. I have been a minimalist ever since downsizing my parents’ home over ten years ago. I will never leave that amount of “stuff” for my children.
How do you handle older family members (read that as over bearing mother in law) that insist on passing down everything herself and her deceased family members have previously owned? I have tried to politely decline many things but my husband does not know how to tell his mother no. He does not want these things either. I’m not interested in owning old furniture, cabinets full of ceramic and glass plates and figurines and so on, but MIL is determined that all these things hold value and must be passed on to her only child. How do I explain to her and my husband that no one needs to keep these things? How do help them understand a minimalist lifestyle and not keeping all this old stuff that has no useful purpose?
I would keep one or two very special pieces, and sell the rest on a place like Etsy, and perhaps put the funds from this to a good cause in the family members name and let her know that’s what you’ve done with it – so that her late families legacy can still live on (and you don’t have that extra STUFF)
Explain that once you take possession of it, its yours to do with as you wish. If that means you will hold a garage sale, sell it or call a local charity to donate it all to those in need tell her that. She may decide to give it to others that will want it and keep it. There are still collectors out there.
I’ve told my own mother dont leave me all her rings (everything is yellow gold), I will just melt it all down and have something made that I would actually wear. She is now gifting certain pieces to many of the nieces instead. I couldn’t be happier.
Rather than use the words “We don’t want that,” try using the words “We can’t use that.” Or, “We have no more space right now for new things.” Then, if mother in law insists, tell her you’d be happy to help her find a storage unit for her stuff in case one day someone in the family needs it. Also, you might want to gently point out that it is a bit unfair for parents to say THEY don’t have room for their stuff, but you do!
My favorite: “Adapt at your own pace so it’s digestible.” So true!
The best part is knowing where everything is in your house.
I became minimal by accident. I made a decision to resign and take a year or so off. This decision naturally required me to adjust my budget requirements.
Being home all the time, I naturally got rid of the clutter, simply because I had the time to do it. To make my space calm. I will admit I was never a big consumer.
I’ve been home 3 years and what I believe is this; it is not about the clutter, it is about the fact that society, media and advertising has made debt hip. People have crazy lives chasing the buck and then when they have it they need to spend it. Our minds are constantly being tempted by all the pop star appeal of advertisement and social media has allowed us to feel instantly justified in this because we can share it all with the world realtime.
My parents didn’t have debt and they did not have the constant bombardment about card this, deal that, points to take you here, there and everywhere. And they so didn’t have a computer. So I looked at their model.
I took out some of my savings, paid off my small mortgage and the small credit card debt, then cut it up. (that actually can be a problem sometimes). And presto, all the stress was gone and I was able to live on very little. I pick up little fun jobs here and there and pay my bills ahead. I have everything I need. I volunteer, help my mom, spend more time with friends. I’m trying new things and meeting new people. I’m also growing more of my own food.
My life is simple, I wouldn’t call it minimal necessarily, because it is quite full, just with a different kind of “stuff”.
(full disclosure, I resigned as an owner/partner of an advertising production company, maybe the industry I was in, was partly responsible for my ability to reject it) k
number one says toss your clothes that is very irresponsible you should donate all your unwanted clothes they can really help another person
I am sure the word “toss” means trash if unwearable, donate if the clothes are still wearable!
In 1995 we purchased the one acre property next door to us. There was one house and seven outbuildings on that property, most of which you could not even see for the brush and trash. The first thing we did was buy goats to eat the brush (poison ivy and such). Then, we began the summer long project of literally going through ALL the mess. The first day, I spent one hour just clearing a 3 foot square patch. We sorted glass, iron, scrap, copper, aluminum, etc., recycled and burned and Oh, my, what labor it was. My children affectionately call that “The summer from hell”…. (I was newly pregnant with our fifth child and wholeheartedly agree with them!) It was over 30 years of buildup from the previous owners.
We salvaged enough good tin to side a lean to storage building and proceeded to plant the rest of the space to pecan trees. Now, we have a producing pecan orchard where a pile of “stuff” previously resided.
It was so sad to see the piles of clothing rotting in the shed or the gorgeous antique furniture that just crumbled when it was touched. It was waste and loss and did not bring happiness to anyone that lived there previously. The Pecan grove and open,airy space certainly has brought us happiness, though, not to mention financial profit from the pecans (and the salvaged metal and the goats, etc.) I am so thankful minimalism was a chose way of life for us which enabled us to mine the “gold” from someone else’s clutter.
Regarding photos, I realized that I didn’t even remember where half of them were taken or who was in them. I decided to take them all out, and make 3 piles, keep for sure (only the ones that gave me a significant positive response), a maybe pile, and a garbage pile. After a day or two I went back to look at the maybe pile and ended up getting rid of most of those. In this way I got rid of about 80% of my photos.
The other difficult one was old diaries and love letters. I made a small fire in my back yard, had a glass of wine or two, re-read each one, kissed it, and “offered it up to the heavens”. Burning can be cleansing. It doesn’t only have to be when you are angry. If you have a positive intention when you do it, it can be very peaceful. It felt more respectful than throwing it in the garbage
My mom is a pack rat. You can barely move in her house, and 99% of what she owns is old, broken or useless. She feels good giving things away but some stuff REALLY needs to go in the garbage. Once in a while we put out a table with a “free” sign. In the middle of the night my brother drives by and picks up most of it and brings it to the dump. It’s underhanded, but it is the only way to get her to let go of some things. She is delighted to wake up and see someone will enjoy her treasures.
Good idea.
One of my problems is I want to keep sentimental possessions that I think my three children will want one day when I am gone. I’m hesitant to dispose of a lot of belongings for this reason. They don’t have space or desire right now, but ‘one day’ they will (might).
No they don’t want now or in future. I did same and learned
My children have told me that they don’t want any of our “crap”. They didn’t say this to be disrespectful of our things, but rather to let us know that the old things (like my mother’s China and their grandfather’s old trunk that he had when he was in the CCC) don’t hold the same value as it did for us. Personally, I would worry if they might want it later.
I had a conversation with my daughters and asked them if there was anything at all that we had and they wanted. I intended to give it to them now or at least earmark it for them if I still used it. The answer from both was no thanks. My sons in laws want the tools though. Haha. Well I’m free now to disperse of anything that I no longer need. I don’t have or want a stark, barren home. I know just how much “stuff” I can tolerate. We just moved to a newly built home and once I’m completely unpacked, I can finish up with just what I want. I’ve been making weekly trips to Goodwill and keep a box ready for the next trip.