Note: This is a guest post from Lisa Avellan.
As minimalists, we strive for less stuff to experience more life. We learn how to detach from our possessions, limit technology, set boundaries with our commitments, and manage our finances with more intention.
Our schedules get pared down to the most important appointments, we open our calendars for family time, meeting with a friend, reading, or pursuing a passion. Simplicity becomes our goal.
We learn to ask ourselves important questions before adding any item to our life:
- “How can this make my life easier?”
- “Will this cause more freedom or hold me back?”
Simplicity takes more intention than renting a storage unit, so we learn to value the weight of every decision. The value of an item or experience becomes more than a price tag or a great story to tell at a cocktail party. Minimalism is not for the half-hearted.
Minimalism is a journey of heart and soul.
It’s a deep dive into the core of what we believe about who we are, where we find value, our purpose, and our passion. These are incredibly personal and difficult mountains to climb. A compass and hatchet are necessary tools to make the journey.
This matter of the heart requires that we take great care to cut the nonessentials, and cultivate the things we should never minimize. It’s how we maximize the benefits of minimalism.
Here are nine things that should never fall victim to our minimalist pursuit:
1. Relationships
We should never commit so intently to this outlier way of life that we alienate our family, faithful friends, or the potential new positive relationships. There may be a time when minimizing harmful or unhealthy relationships is appropriate, however minimalism isn’t about living a reclusive or withdrawn existence.
We minimize to un-clutter our lives from that which robs our time and energy from investing in the most important people in our lives.
2. Community
Living with less should never mean less community. In fact, living with less opens our lives to more community and opportunity to live alongside others, minimalist or not. Our community, those outside our immediate family but who share in our activities around home, school, work, church, or neighborhood, should benefit from our life of less.
The amount of time we gain, the items that can be reused or repurposed by someone in need, and the hospitality we offer in less crowded homes are practical ways to intentionally live in community.
3. Gratitude
I believe that the greatest expression of gratitude is minimalism. When one is truly grateful for what matters most, no amount of possessions could change that contentment. A room full of gadgets and toys or forgotten impulse purchases steals our gratitude by complicating our lives.
To live a life of gratitude, we recognize that the essentials are enough and we can experience how they enhance our existence. Gratitude isn’t being thankful for what you have; it’s believing what you have is enough.
4. Empathy
We don’t like to admit it, but when we have a strong belief about the way we live, sometimes we minimize our empathy for those who live differently. Becoming minimalist is never a destination; it’s a journey of minimizing the outside influences. But non-minimalists are not outsiders, they are people. They are potential inspiring mentors, faithful leaders, guides, and peacemakers.
The way we treat others who struggle with the burden of stuff will either maximize their value to us or minimize our value to them. Choose wisely.
5. Generosity
Minimalism is not an excuse to not be generous. It is the greatest excuse to be more generous. Ridding our lives of excess offers the obvious opportunity to donate or re-home our possessions that can be useful to someone.
But there are other not so obvious reasons we should never minimize generosity: we create more space to offer our home, time, meals, service, and gifts to others. Our unburdened schedules allow more investments in relationships, more family building, and more financial resources. Our minds are free of stressors so we can create more and share more of our talents. Need less, give more.
6. Education
I spoke with a middle aged woman recently who is, in her words, pursuing a “useless” graduate degree. I felt sad that she perceived her educational pursuit was for nothing. Education in any form, when applied, enriches our lives to greater understanding, empathy, and action.
To minimize our education is to minimize our potential to change the world. For any educational investment, we gain, at the very least, a deepened capacity to think and to relate to the world bustling around us.
7. Dreams
Our passions and dreams often end up on the chopping block when we are overwhelmed with crammed calendars and suffocated by our stuff. Minimalism should never stifle the life-giving joys in our life. When we release our attachment to stuff and busyness, we have more time and energy to pursue and participate in our passions.
If we ever feel the need to minimize the very thing that makes us come alive, we’ve lost sight of who we are. Minimalism creates space for the development of our dreams and passions and we then realize the burden our stuff has over us.
8. Forgiveness
If you’ve ever been in any kind of relationship that has lasted more than a few days, you know that forgiveness is part of life. If we minimize our capacity to forgive, we can never hope to grow or change. Significant relationship demands repentance and forgiveness.
Ruth Bell Graham said, “Marriage is a union of two good forgivers.” I believe that’s true of any relationship. Minimizing the value of forgiveness will kill our capacity for genuine connection.
9. Joy
The absence of joy is often caused by our inaccurate source of value. The more we buy the less happy we are. It may seem depressing to live a life with less, but that’s only because we haven’t freed ourselves from the chains of believing our value comes from what we own.
Less stuff is more joy. To free ourselves from comparisons and the joy-killing value system of a broken world, the answer lies in the freedom of minimalism.
How are you maximizing the benefits of minimalism?
David @ Filled With Money says
You should spend, without hesitation, on the things that matter the most to you and fiercely cut back on the things that don’t matter to dyou.
There are some things that are more important than money and you should never skimp out on the listed categories. Relationships are a big one.
Phyllis says
In # 1 (Relationships) you state that we must never enact boundaries to the point of isolation, but I respectfully disagree. Sometimes on our hero journey we go into the cave. Alone. It is not a one-day trip. That is the bottom where we must dwell some times, particularly with regard to boundary violations. I think it can be dangerous to offer spiritual advice that says “never do this” when in fact it is very much what some people will need to do for a time, depending on their circumstances. If the body and mind retreats then that is what it deems best for its survival (concussions, dissociation). That of course doesn’t mean it’s forever, but it may be for a while. Give the person enacting the boundaries the right and freedom to define the boundaries, whether they are solid and firm to the point of temporary withdrawal from others, or maleable. Isolation can be the healing place where their own voice finally can be heard and their self-relationship become the priority. Thank you for the other points in this article, I felt strongly enough about that first one that I wanted to write in because it’s something I’ve heard for years from spiritual teachers but I don’t agree with it. I say: go to the isolated place and go hard. Because there is no relationship more important than the self-relationship.
Jeanne says
Spoken from the isolated place, I agree with you. Yes, for a time, but a time determined by self, not others wants, needs or even their caring.
Beverly Manley says
One of the best articles re: minimalism I have read! Your nine points are beautifully stated. I will read this again.
Jamie Joy Throgmorton says
As an (ahem!) “middle age woman” whose nickname is “curiosity,” I can attest that lifelong learning is the best. I’m not at all sure the woman you met is doing something she’s not valuing, or thinks that it’s “for nothing.” I’d guess she meant it’s not useful for a work career (and it’s sad that society gives an overwrought work life such predominance). Learning for the pure love of it is one of the most joyful things in life—beginning, middle, or late!
Crystal says
No one is trying to force you to change your values. We have to give people permission to share their hearts without punishment or taking things too personally. I guarantee you, Lisa did not write this with your name in the back of her mind. Let’s not lower ourselves to rudeness.
Crystal Burton says
This is beautiful and true. God bless you, Lisa. Don’t let the bad voices get you down. Thank you for sharing this piece of your heart.
Eve says
My husband passed away in February and after 50 years of a happy marriage, I find myself so grateful that we didn’t acquire a lot of things. We lived a very simple life. A small home we paid off in 5 years, a good but old car, paid for in cash, and some stock piled food in case of hard times. We had prepaid funeral arrangements with bare bones cremation. Thanks to minimalism I had very few loose ends to tie up. I was able to make a smooth transition.
After all, you can’t take a U Haul to Heaven as I heard someone say. You really don’t need “stuff” or fancy things to live a full life.
Gary says
Those all are great, but you missed Jesus.
Joy says
Love this! “A compass and hatchet are necessary tools to make the journey.”
Agree with all of the life-giving points you’ve shared! An additional one could be #10. Faith ♥️✝️
Mike Donghia says
Lisa, thanks for writing the post that I’ve been meaning to write myself :-) Minimalism, as a life philosophy, only makes sense to me when we’re minimizing one thing to make more room for another. It’s not as if our goal is to literally do nothing all day! Sure, sometimes its fun to embrace the challenge of seeing how minimal you can get, but that alone does not make for the rich, meaningful life that so many of desire. The real gift of simplicity is that it gives us space to pursue values such as the ones in your list.