Minimalism has changed me. What began as just a journey to own less stuff has changed the way I view myself and the world around me in significant ways.
One of the most significant changes is my reevaluation of how society defines success. Too often, those who make and spend and keep the most resources for themselves are labeled as the “successful ones.”
But this is unfortunate. Some of the best people I know would not be regarded as successful in worldly terms—precisely because they have decided to spend and focus their resources on less material things.
These people are far too rare—or at least, they do not get enough recognition. Instead, it seems ingrained in us to desire and appreciate the praise and the admiration of others. And because of that, many people will compromise greater and more worthwhile pursuits for the facade of temporal, worldly success.
I think it is important for us to no longer take the bait—to no longer heap accolades on those who flaunt selfish pursuits.
To that end, because of how my view of the world and its people has begun to change, I will offer a short list of things that no longer impress me:
The brand name of your clothing. Manufacturing practices are important. So is quality and fit. Why the name printed on the inside (and often times the outside) matter, I will never understand. Too often, people pay a premium just for the privilege of become a walking billboard. I am no longer impressed by the logo on your shirt, your purse, or the face of your watch. Instead, I admire those who are confident in timeless fashion and seek to make an impression by their character and their countenance.
The number of carats in your jewelry. One of the most important chapters in my new book, The More of Less: Finding the Life You Want Under Everything You Own, contains the story of Bryan and Nicole. Bryan and Nicole, five years into their marriage, continue to make sacrifices each day to help pay off lingering wedding debt—most of which is wrapped around Nicole’s finger. While the size of the rock on someone’s finger is noticed by some, most are not even looking.
The price of your car. The goal of any vehicle is to safely transport persons from Point A to Point B. Reliability is important, so is comfort (especially if you spend lots of time in it). But most luxury (and sport) cars appeal to a different motivation, they are no longer just about transportation. They often appeal to our need to broadcast success and get noticed—even if that means impressing strangers for 60 seconds at a red light.
The square footage of your house. Houses provide shelter and opportunity for stability. They represent investment in both our finances and our neighborhood. Over the course of my life, I have owned several homes (just one at a time) and have experienced the pride that comes from providing and creating a home for my family. But years ago, we intentionally chose to downsize and buy a smaller one. It is a decision I have never regretted. And to this day, when I drive past a large house, the only thing I can think of is how much happier we are in a small one.
The dollars in your bank account. The ultimate measure of success in our world today is personal wealth. Incidentally, we are not the first—this standard holds true across almost every society from the beginning of time. But I’m starting to wonder if we have been using the wrong measure. Maybe the number of dollars in a bank account is not the greatest measurement of success. Maybe instead, the amount of good we are able to accomplish with our lives is a truer measure of success
The model of your cell phone. Just the other day, I was spending time at a local park with my kids and a group of their friends. One of the most repeated conversations I overheard was their constant comparison of technology. “Which iPhone do you have? What number iPod is that? And guess who just got a new iPad for her birthday?” It was alarming to hear kids under the age of 10 spend so much energy comparing models of battery-powered electronics. And as much as I wanted to blame them and correct them, I was reminded that we adults are not that different. If we are not comparing cell phones, we are often lusting after faster computers and bigger television screens.
The age of your retirement. Retirement is the ultimate goal for most people. Unfortunately, this creates an attitude that sees the greatest goal of work is to remove ourselves from it. I think that approach is short-sighted and fails to recognize the fulfillment we find in it. But more than that, the age of someone’s retirement is based on countless factors, many of which are outside of anyone’s control—one man may strike it rich by simply being in the right place at the right time, while another may have experienced the exact opposite circumstance (just ask any number of 65-year old Baby Boomers). And this doesn’t even begin to count those who will continue working late in life because they have graciously used their financial resources to bless others.
The photos on your social media account. Almost everyone posts flattering images and experiences of themselves online—from new clothes and restaurant food to local concerts and airplane wings. These images are closely guarded and selected routinely portraying only the most exciting parts of our lives. With foolish abandon, we blame Photoshop for perpetuating unattainable images of perfection while simultaneously editing and photoshopping our own lives for social media.
Let’s stop trying to impress others with the things that we own. And start trying to inspire them by the lives that we live. (tweet that)
J man says
While I like the sentiment, I feel it is an idealistic, unrealistic view to take in our current society. You live in a capitalist framework. Complaining about how money works and effects people within that framework I feel is counterintuitive & hypocritical… Especially as you sit and write this article on/in the very results of that society you are referring too. There are a multitude of success types, and each one is subjective depending on your reference point re monetary, emotional, spiritual, acedemic, etc. The mere act of judging someone else because they put value in what you would consider superficial, is hypocritical & detrimental imo. You want to live a certain minimalistic lifestyle, that’s fine, but try not to hold your viewpoints above, and judge those who have a different perspective, which in essence is what you’re doing, and is actually the foundation for your article.
Debra says
Really? How condescending. You are judging people for being realistic and not admiring your trappings.
Erwin says
Those that put value on name brands likewise judge minimalists who don’t spend as as much as being poor.
Alfred Davis says
You are right. Many people are living in poverty.
Jbond says
I would be more “impressed” about name of clothing and where manufactured…so I know it’s not made in a sweatshop by children in a third world country. The other stuff is easiky worked out.
Me says
SO MUCH JUDGEMENT : (
elizabeth feeney says
Having enough or too much is each personal gauge. When I had too much, I did not feel the “success” people think I had, but only when decided to live SIMPLE that I felt so successful. Living simple and not let the success of others bother you is more satisfying.
Mel says
It has always been this way for me. I wear comfortable clothing and never pay attention to other people’s fashion. (Partly because I almost always automatically look at their eyes when I need to)
I only know brands that I see when strolling the Mall. I don’t know cars. My phone is outdated. I’m not aware of the latest gadgets.
And no, I’m not a granny. I’m 22, if that matters.
Most people find me weird because I never pay attention to those material things to the point that I started to think I’m not supposed to be like this. With the wish to be “more normal” I have been trying lately to “notice” what “I’m supposed to notice”. It feels unnatural and pretentious. Thank you for this article. It justifies my… supposed “weirdness”.
Susan says
Are you on the autism spectrum, my friend? You sound like me and my family. <3
Sotharath Chheng says
So relatable <3
Pardon my intrusion says
*becoming
Lisa Harpster says
Love this article!!
I guess I did not know our family have been working toward the minimalist goal for years. Oh we started out wanting all the nice things all American families have. A big house..nice cars that all match..expensive clothes… toys..
Now the photos on my fb??? We never did that..I guess we are just too real for that…
WR quickly realized the more we worked to attain the magical dollar amount in our bank…with all our wants..it wasn’t realistic to ever attain it. Of course ..eventually relying solely on our ranch income the writing was on the wall..the our banks wld be filled money borrowed and very little earned! Put that in ur pipe and smoke it..ugh!
The best thing in life that I learned early on in childhood is the ability to gracious and realize that blessings come in all sizes and shapes…even if that is the blessing of a small town thrift store with BIG TIME buys and endless $.50 clothing items that are practically new! Shopping for new to us vehicles was always a priority…but now the goal is to maintain that reliable vehicle and drive it until the wheels fall off or the engine pukes..whichever is first and then use our God given skills put it back together again…like humpty dumpty!! Lol
Knowing reliability is most important and a few dents does not define us…proud to say. .all our vehicles will be paid off this year and our extravagantly bought camper after 10 years is still mint and PAID FOR!! knowing that we will NEVER finance one again!
Our phones will not be upgraded after our original investment two years ago…they are unreliable at our ranch..and besides using them online at home they serve very little purpose. Oh..believe me..I really like having GPS…but I will buy my own phone b4 contracting again!
Last year I read the tidying book…and beyond struggling to let go..I have slowly made progress and cleaned the clutter. ..knowing that I have restuffed..but keeping orespective in mind..that my friends on the Pine Ridge do much with very little..and I have the ability to share with them and my junk is their treasure. .I’m almost happy I’m a hoarder and they are benefiting from my need to become..I’m guess..a minimalist!!
glo says
Thank you for this article, I love it. I had a similar experience as to your write-up. I almost lost all of my material possessions when I got separated from my ex, the house, the car, the furniture, etc. It was then that I realized that material things are the easiest to lose, but the hardest to keep is one’s being- that is, who are you after the fall?
BeeBelle says
I’ve noticed how often people (including my spouse and myself) through their 40’s speak of the value of work and how they will not want to retire, but at some point in perhaps your 50’s or 60’s (or earlier if your work is particularly back-breaking) your body and/or mind stop cooperating as well, and at least a partial retirement starts to sound good. Kudos to those who can and do go longer, but please realize that some of that ambition to keep working forever “because of the value” may be short-sighted. On a related note, that’s why the built up bank account is important, too! I’m not disagreeing at all with the tone of the article or most of the content, just offering a different perspective (that’s rather new to older me, too).
Marianne says
Hi! Yes, you are so right. I am stopping my thoughts every time, when I start thinking negatively about our old house, 10 year old car, 30 year old boat and my same old boring job.. Everything is old, but it is functioning. The fact is that we are healthy, have jobs, have cosy house and a safe car. And a We should not strive against more stuff. I am sure we need to be more minimalistic in the future. I am working on it! ?