Our world loves to compare and compete and measure success based on the accomplishments of others.
We compare the clothes we wear, the neighborhood we live in, the car we drive, even the handbag we carry. We compare our job titles, our salary, our savings account, even our retirement age.
Unfortunately, these comparisons rarely bring any joy into our lives. Instead, they make us miserable.
One reason is because comparisons by their very nature are unfair. We know ourselves better than we know others. As a result, we compare the worst we know of ourselves to the best we assume in others.
But there’s another reason these comparisons result in lower life satisfaction: the trinkets we are competing for don’t bring fulfillment. Job titles, square footage, and brand names on handbags are not the things that matter in life.
Consider again the things that do: to be a faithful spouse, a loving parent, an example to others, a contributing member of society, or to have lived a life of significance and meaning. These are the most noble pursuits—these are the desires that actually matter.
This is important to recognize.
Equally important, please notice that with each of these pursuits, your competition is not against others. In life’s most important pursuits, your only competition is yourself.
To be a faithful spouse, we war against the selfish desires that undermine a relationship built on trust and selfless motivation.
To be a loving parent, we war against any and every harmful tendency or action that would not seek to build up our children.
To be a positive example to others, we pursue character and integrity in both public and private.
To be the best version of ourselves, we remove foolish distractions and temptations that rob us of time and energy and focus. We become self-aware and self-equipped to recognize the unhealthy motivations within ourselves. And we make the difficult sacrifices necessary to bring about a better world for others.
The crusade is not against others—the skirmish is within our own heart, our own mind, and our soul.
This is the competition that matters: Are we fighting for the things that matter? Are we becoming better people than we were yesterday?
And if so, why would we concern our minds with the temporal success of others when we have so much growth left to accomplish in ourselves?
Catherine Connor says
Well said. Love is a noun but more importantly a verb!
Rebecca says
Great post – thank you. I am a mother of two young daughters. For the past few years, I’ve been getting anxious around Birthdays, Holidays and other celebrations due to the onslaught of more “stuff”. I feel like I spend most of my waking hours organizing and managing things. The final straw though, was just the other night during our New Year’s Eve dinner. When I asked my 8 year old daughter what she is looking forward to in 2017 she replied, “I really want to go through each room and take out everything. Then, I want to have a garage sale and keep only the stuff we really, really need.” We are fortunate in many ways – health, a nice home, a loving family – but like most of the people we know, we’re drowning in all the material things we “have to have”. Things have to change and I am grateful for this blog as guidance. Thank you.
Artemis says
I am a newbie of being a minimalist and you are a great inspiration! As I read your articles, its been so helpful. Thank you for being a living testimony of “Less is More” life..
As I choose to live as a minimalist, peace freedom fulfillment happiness is my destination..