“Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.”
The speed of our world is increasing.
Technology and communication continue to improve. Information moves faster. And social media rewards those who never turn it off.
Expectations, demands, and accessibility continue to expand, but the number of hours in a week do not. As a result, our lives get busier and busier.
This approach to life rarely benefits us in the long-run because a busy life is an unreflective life. In fact, often times, we are so busy scurrying from one thing to another we don’t even have the space to realize our schedules have become overwhelmed. We don’t recognize how our overcommitted lives are harming us.
Even worse, we are unable to identify the hidden mistruths in our heart that are contributing to the problem. Consider these:
9 Hidden Lies that Keep Our Schedules Overwhelmed
1. Accolades will bring fulfillment. The thinking goes like this: The busier we are, the more we can accomplish and the more respect we can earn. And the more respect and accolades we receive, the more we can surely prove our worth and value to others. Unfortunately, if you are trying to find fulfillment in someone else’s opinion of you, you will never find it. You will always be left searching (and working) for more.
2. Money will bring happiness. We often get caught up in needless busyness because of our desire to earn and secure more money. Ever notice how often we are offered money (or the chance to win money) for our time? While it is important to work hard and provide for the needs of your family, it is foolish to think money is the quickest shortcut to better living.
3. I don’t have a choice. Many of us live over-busy lives because of the expectations and demands of others. In these cases, it is important to remember you always have a choice. Sure, there are seasons of life that require more of you and your time than others, but seasons always change. If yours hasn’t changed recently, you may need to revisit who is making the decisions in your life and where you can regain some of your control.
4. I’m more productive if I’m busy. Maybe you can be more productive for a short while, but human beings are not designed to work relentlessly without periods of rest. Countless studies confirm the importance of rest for productivity. Eventually, a lifestyle of busyness will detract from our productivity. And more importantly, your health and well-being. There are no exceptions.
5. I am needed. Pride is defined as holding an excessively high opinion of oneself or one’s importance. And it leads to overwhelmed schedules because of the foolish thinking that follows it: “Nobody else can do what I do.” This pride affects the way we view our business, our work, our family, and our personal relationships. Left unchecked, it leads to a busy life and in the end, a fall.
6. Everything is important. Our world has a tendency to make everything appear urgent, important, and beneficial to our lives. As the speed of information increases, our minds are seemingly less equipped to filter all the information and opportunities. But the most productive among us realize nobody can accomplish everything. They are relentless in their understanding of mission and the reality that very few things are truly important. And they never sacrifice the important for the trivial.
7. I need to be busy to keep up with everyone else. It may seem, at times, the only way to get ahead in life is to outwork everyone else. But just because everyone else appears busy does not mean they are busy about the right things. Nor does it mean they are finding joy in their pursuits. Frank Clark perhaps said it best, “Modern man is frantically trying to earn enough to buy things he’s too busy to enjoy.”
8. Busy makes me look more important. Busy, in and of itself, is not a badge of honor. In fact, being busy doing the wrong things is actually quite unattractive. Just remember, in a society rushing to keep up with everyone else, those who find peace, contentment, and rest are the ones admired…and envied.
9. Quietness is laziness. Often times, people avoid dealing with life’s deeper issues by packing their schedule tight. Someone who is discontent with their life’s choices can escape the difficult work of addressing them by masking them with busyness. Quietness is not laziness. Quietness is hard, but always worth the effort.
Many of the lies we have been told since birth crowd out the things in life that matter most. Instead of enjoying the benefit of calm, intentional living, we hurry from one needless triviality to another.
Don’t ever get so busy chasing the wrong things that you miss enjoying the right things. (tweet that)
Brian Gardner says
“4. I’m more productive if I’m busy.”
This is definitely not true, as I’m sure many of us can agree. It’s instinct to think that busyness always leads to productivity, but what we fail to take into account is the idea of efficiency.
I’m a designer, and I can tell you there are many times that I do my best work after I’ve walked away and taken breaks. Not when I stayed up late at night trying to “do more.”
Bob Pepe says
The “todo” list is endless and will never be finished. I also feel that I do better work when I take a break or a quick walk and clear my head. I go into my office at 700am and lock my door… The madness begins at 900 am. I get more done and do it better from 7 to 9 than I do the rest of the day…
I need to find that oasis during the day and I know I would be more efficient and productive
Tamara S. says
Thank you for this post. I needed to read all nine, but number nine resonated with me. I need quiet time to recharge. It is in the quiet I find creativity and energy.
BrownVagabonder says
I always struggle with the point ‘Quietness is Laziness’. I have been taught coming from a Type-A personality family that you need to be busy, in order to show that you are accomplishing things and that you are successful. We were woken up at 5am, even when we were in middle school, in order to cram multiplication tables. We weren’t allowed to sleep in even when we were on summer vacations. We were berated when we took a nap in the afternoon, or asked if we weren’t feeling well.
I have been struggling with this all my life, and now that I am an adult and can control my own time and naps, I still feel guilty taking a nap in the afternoon or lazing around in bed on the weekend. I know I will eventually learn to meaning of laziness and incorporate it into my life, but right now, it is a constant struggle.
Thank you for the post.
jen says
Brown, that was SO my upbringing too! My parents were and ARE extremely critical of people who sleep. I never saw my mother asleep in her bed, ever.
Lydia Marin says
Resting is taking care of yourself. Pushing yourself too hard creates health problems later in life. Leave yourself 20% open to face unexpected things that come up. I was once told by a wise person, “You are a human being, not a human doing”. My life and health improved when I lived by this Don’t feel guilty when you take care of yourself!
Katie O'Brien says
I feel #3 (I don’t have a choice.) is HUGE! We always have a choice… whether we’re conscious or unconscious to our choices is the real question. Living from a place of choice grants us so much freedom and we learn how to live free of all the societal {{have-tos}} or {{shoulds}} in life. Once again, beautiful article! Thanks!
MH says
work , tired take a nap, tired work for other
Judy says
You don’t have to convince me, Joshua. I’m up for a good nap! :)
DeAnna says
I refuse to pack my schedule full. I have 2 must do commitments every week and that is plenty. The rest of the time is left open for what my children and I feel like doing. After hearing that I have 3 children, a mom said to me “Oh you must be so busy” I said nope, I am not because I choose not to be. I learned a long time ago that busy is not always better.
Sandra says
Our family is the same way. My husband and I are pretty introverted, so we don’t have a problem saying no to things. People seem to think that quiet and simple is boring, and by not being busy, you’re missing out on real life or something.
Gladys (The Pinay Mom) says
At work,I always keep myself busy and refuse to take a break and every time I get home I’m tired.Slowing down and being mindful to what we’re doing is pretty important and efficiency comes.
LJ says
Effectiveness is more important to me than efficiency
A system or task may be efficient yet not achieve my desired outcome of its not effective
Nina Steele says
Thanks for another insightful article. The pace of modern life can feel quite overwhelming at times and so it falls on each persons to identify what life means to them and live it accordingly. I suppose much of the issues people face is down to the fact that the politics of envy is making many lead inauthentic lives. When your life is lived trying to emulate others, you ultimately end up in trouble. We as a couple always strive to live a simple life and so, we don’t feel so stretched overall.
Elizabeth Lee says
I agree with all this….except No 3. I have to pay all the basic bills…and no excessive spending…. so I have to work long hours….so…no we don’t always have a choice.
Katie O'Brien says
Hi Elizabeth! Many people struggle with the idea of choice versus have to when it comes to money… I did at one time, too. I actually really struggled with this concept a few years back.
But what I learned is that in all reality it is our choice to go to work to pay our bills. We’re consciously choosing to provide for ourselves and our families. To provide the life we feel is important for ourselves and those around us.
Sometimes our freedom of choice isn’t so much about changing the external circumstances but perhaps understanding why we do what we do and our perception of the circumstance in front of us. When we live consciously from a place of conscious choice we own our power and regain our sense of freedom in our lives.
Amie says
And sometimes the options we have suck as well, but there is always a choice. You can choose to not pay your bills, not to work long hours, what we have to remember is that while we have the choice, there are consequences for every choice we make…which may make us feel like we don’t have a choice but in reality, we do.
Bob P says
That is very true.. We all have a choice, but the results of those choices may all suck. I am currently working 50-60 stress filled hours a week to pay for my SUPER-Consuming Life style… I have begun the long slow process of minimizing my life. I emptied my closet of about a MILLION articles of clothing, emptied my garage of endless junk and am making my way through the house.
I am trimming my cable bill, shoveling my own snow this winter and doing all the little things that can lower my monthly obligations. At that point, I will cut back my hours and hopefully regain my life.
Audrey says
Sounds like you have made some great decisions towards simplifying your life, Bob! Way to go, it’s not easy, but so very worth it!
LJ says
“The Four Hour Work Week” by Tim Ferriss
Read the book Bob
Bob Pepe says
Just a quick update.. The enthusiasm of starting this journey has somewhat worn off. The closet remains half empty and the garage is still clean. But I need to refocus on throwing something out everyday and not just when I have the motivation. Seeing all those wasted clothes go to someone who needed them was amazing, but now I need to make many more little steps and stay on point. It is harder than I thought
I have saved a few bucks by thinking a little more before purchasing an item that I probably didn’t need on the first place.
I need to attack my office. I spend a lot of time there and it is just full of stuff that I don’t need. I was thinking about getting rid of my desk and just have a table. The drawers of my desk are full of stuff that I don’t use but can’t throw out for some reason. The walls are decorated with stuff that I would never decorate in my home and the walls are filled. I am always impressed with people who have clean and neat offices. It is a much better environment to work.
The march continues…….
Linda Sanderman says
Bob has figured it out! The stress will lessen and lessen as you move away from consumerism. I know, as I am on the road to simpler living, also. I would never, ever want to go back to my old hectic lifestyle. Less really is more!
letters2mary says
I think that both of your points are valid. Sometimes there are “no option” options — gotta work and gotta pay the bills. It does get wearisome. However, when looked at from the perspective of what that work-for-bill-paying actually buys, in the form of peace of mind and security and self-respect, that can bring some leaven to the long hours.
There are no few occasions on which I ask myself, “what am I doing and why am I doing it?” In short, what larger purpose is being served? If a larger goal or value is being promoted, then good, I can deal with some hassle and fatigue. If something no longer of meaning is being played through again and again, however, it may be time for some pruning.
Audrey says
However, “basic” bills vary from family to family…. My sister “needs” to pay for two cars payments for vehicles to get them each to work, but my husband and I both drive well maintained, but old cars that we paid cash for.
Dee colligan says
There are a million reasons why different folks choose different things as well. It does cost money to maintain an older car and maybe the stress of “never knowing” with an older car is worth paying the payment. I know I will never go back to an “older car” I need mine for my sanity. Just remember we can never judge others for their choices since we are not them.
Audrey says
I definitely agree and try not to judge. In our situation, my husband chose to learn about car maintenance as a hobby years ago so that he can now do the majority of the maintenance work and learned to purchase the necessary parts for much lower prices online. Our older cars are in excellent shape and have saved us a lot of money over the years. I have no safety concerns travelling in them with our two children.
Bob Pepe says
Thanks Linda…. I love coming to this page and reading about others and their success’ and challenges… It is truly motivating.. Another “hurdle” to overcome is to get my wife onboard. She is a very neat person and loves the house clean, but just continues to buy more stuff. She agrees with me in theory, but has not yet committed herself to the idea.
So it is a little frustrating to be swimming against the tide in my own house…
Sherri O says
Hi Bob,
My husband and I have very different styles when it comes to “stuff.” Over time, we’ve evolved to a few simple rules taht have helped us tremendously.
1. We each have a weekly allowance, which we can spend as we choose. All other money is “ours” and is budgeted. This gives him the freedom to buy something without consulting me, and it gives me security knowing he has a spending limit.
2. His home office and garage are his sole space, and he can do with it as he pleases. And I can shut the door. :-) Our joint space is tidy and mostly uncluttered.
I will say this…he’s getting into letting things go. We’ve made agame out of emptying a drawer or closet – everything out – and then each taking turns selecting something from the pile we wish to keep and put I back. It’s surprised him how much stuff is left in the pile that we have no use for. Makes for an interesting exercise.
Good luck!
Jessy says
Dear Writer,
Kindly note that your article is being used by a trainer named Johnny Alghoul & is broadcast online
Daniel says
Thank you for this article. To Elizabeth Lee I wanted to say that choosing to work long hours to pay the bills isn’t wrong, I don’t believe that this article is saying that working long hours is wrong, but simply to evaluate why you are working those long hours.
The only other thing that sort of perturbed me about this article, is the image placed at the beginning of a pristine lake in the middle of nowhere between inaccessible snow-covered peaks…the implicit message seeming to be: becoming minimalist will necessitate a physical withdrawal from your life as you know-it in some level…instead of changing our wrong thinking amidst our sometimes busy/full lives.
Perhaps it’s just my stage of life as a husband and father or four children 6 years old and under, but I might have identified better with a picture of someone driving a minivan looking contemplatively out their window (since this the car is really the only time parents of little ones have to time talk/reflect on life … said tongue in cheek, sort of :-). That said, parents of little ones can just as easily fall prey to believing these nine lies as others without children.
Again, thanks for this article.
Kelly says
The message in this article is like a bible to me. It reaches to the depths of how we are created.