’Tis the season for unreasonable expectations.
Over the next several weeks, televisions, magazines, and websites will offer us countless images of the “perfect” holiday season.
Beaming faces, sparkling eyes, glistening gifts, and bountiful tables of food will be shown on media platforms of every sort. Many of these images will stand side-by-side with corporate logos and retail stores.
The turkey is from Butterball. The necklace from Kay’s. The soda is Coca-Cola. The toys were purchased at Walmart. The coffee is Folger’s. The slippers are from Kohl’s. And the new vehicle with the red bow in the driveway is a Lexus.
It would seem, from the image on the screen, these items are essential for a perfect holiday. Because obviously, the smiles are bigger, the family is happier, and the lights shine brighter—if, and only if, we buy the consumer product to make it so.
This is not a new strategy from marketers. All year long they communicate the subtle (and not-so-subtle) message that our lives will be better, happier, and more fulfilled if we buy whatever they’re selling.
But their message reaches a fever-pitch during the Holiday Season and nobody is immune to their meticulously crafted persuasion.
I assume one reason for the effectiveness of these ad campaigns is because we all desire a joyful and merry holiday season. We cherish our time with family and want it to be picture perfect. We love our kids and want them to be happy. And we all enjoy times of celebration and desire them to be memorable.
But let’s remember one important truth today: You don’t need any of those things for a perfect holiday season.
You don’t need a new car in the driveway for a perfect holiday season. You don’t need new jewelry for a perfect holiday season. You don’t need slippers. You don’t need a perfectly-decorated 10-foot tree. And you certainly don’t need a large pile of glistening presents underneath it.
You don’t need any of those things for a perfect holiday season.
The holiday season is about family, and thankfulness, and faith and love and peace. It’s about reflecting on the year that was, and looking forward to the year that can be. It’s about counting blessings. It’s about slowing down long enough to appreciate the things in life that matter most.
And too often, the consumeristic promises and fake-photos keep us from enjoying the season. Instead of slowing down, we speed up. We rush from store-to-store (or website-to-website) filling our shopping carts with all the things we think we need. We fill our schedules with increased commitments and responsibilities. We max out our credit cards.
We get so frustrated and weary chasing the perfect holiday season that we never take time to enjoy the one right in front of us.
But Melody Beattie once said, “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”
Once we slow down enough to notice our blessings, we begin to see that we already have everything we need for a perfect holiday season.
And maybe that is what worries marketers the most… that we would begin to recognize all the things we don’t need for a perfect holiday season.
Linda says
Our Sunday school class used the most recent ADVENT CONSPIRACY curriculum and the newest YouTube video series to go with it this year. It was a super way to study during the advent season to prepare for Christmas 2019. Joshua, may God bless you and your family in the New Year!
Herve says
I bought a £5 Christmas tree at a car boot, it’s doing a perfect job. For Christmas we went to mass and remembered the birth of Christ.
Somebody said Santa Klaus is really bad spelling for Satan’s Cause… I don’t go to shops in November as they disgust me.
Ali Weisenbeg says
Santa Claus has nothing to do with Satan. It’s the anglicized name for Sinterklass which is the nickname for St Nicholas, a Trurkish monk who distributed gifts of food to the poor on Christmas Eve. Tell you friend to stop making up stuff.
Cindy Dayneswood says
Such a down to earth and timely posting. We have four children
and now 8 grandchildren .One year we decided to buy thrift or homemade or recycled gifts for each other. Another year we just filled shoe boxes for charity (REALLY hard to break the expectations and spirit of commercialism but we did it ) and now we just draw one name each for an adult or a child and put a limit on the amount to spend. We do try to concentrate on family and the true reason for the season.
Kent Julian says
Love this line and our family has strived to live it out in our lives:
“We get so frustrated and weary chasing the perfect holiday season that we never take time to enjoy the one right in front of us.”
Ross says
Been a reader for quite sometime, but rarely comment. Bravo. Wonderful article. Shared it on several of my social media outlets, a great message to get out.
Melanie Lee says
“We get so frustrated and weary chasing the perfect holiday season that we never take time to enjoy the one right in front of us.”
Three occasions in our consumer culture demand that they be “perfect”: The Perfect Christmas. The Perfect Valentine’s Day. The Perfect Wedding. Few people expect The Perfect Thanksgiving, and no one expects the Perfect Easter, the Perfect Fourth of July…and heck, the nature of Halloween demands that that holiday be Imperfect!
No, we expect “perfection” when romantic love and family love are at stake. The market pressures us into believing that if we really love our spouse/significant other/family, we will knock ourselves out to make things “perfect” for that person.
I just saw an episode of This Is Us when one Thanksgiving, the character Rebecca finally rejected her judgmental’s mother’s demand that everything be “perfect”, and instead help create a loving, impromptu celebration with her family.
Let’s reject the unreal expectation to be “Perfect”. Let’s be flexible. Let’s be loving. Let’s be creative. Let’s be ourselves. Let’s be real!
Melanie Lee says
Recommended book:
Unplug the Christmas Machine: A Complete Guide to Putting Love and Joy Back into the Season
by Jo Robinson and Jean C. Staeheli
https://www.amazon.com/Unplug-Christmas-Machine-Complete-Putting/dp/0688109616
Linda Matic says
You know, everything in moderation, there’s nothing wrong with a tree, decorations etc, as long as it’s what YOU want to do, no pressure! I love the loliday season and will enjoy my house decorated for Christmas because I like it! I don’t go mad but embrace the holiday season!
Linda Matic says
*holiday
JB says
Truly needed this mind food, thank you! We are getting ready to move into a new house after relocating, and this is a gentle reminder that we don’t need everything right here, right now. Thanks for the perspective, as always! I loved your sentiment on the holiday season:
“The holiday season is about family, and thankfulness, and faith and love and peace. It’s about reflecting on the year that was, and looking forward to the year that can be. It’s about counting blessings. It’s about slowing down long enough to appreciate the things in life that matter most.”
That really is a wonderfully written gathering of words! We will be slowing down this Christmas :-)
Nicki says
Over the last couple of years I have become increasingly frustrated with the lead up to Christmas where everyone is encouraged to just ‘buy, buy, buy’, it just feels so wrong and totally opposite to the spirit of Christmas.
So I wanted to share what my family does at Christmas – about 10 years ago we made a rule with immediate family that we would each only spend £5 on each other (small children are excluded from this but we only have one of them in my immediate family). It’s amazing how much you can actually buy for £5, especially if you’re a bit creative with your ideas or are happy to buy things from charity shops (also ebay has been my best friend over the last few years!).
It has led to some really fun times at Christmas, where we look forward to seeing what everyone has bought, it means that if someone gives you something you don’t really like then they have only spent a fiver on it, so it’s really not a big deal.
Patricia says
I remember growing up in the 1980’s me and my brother would get a lot of Christmas presents, and our parents would spend many hours during many weeks shopping for them. Even back then as a ten year old I remember I didn’t even want all that stuff, instead I would have wanted parents that were not so busy shopping all December. As an adult I try to consider this, I already did the shopping all on one day, and rather spend the time baking with my children, listening to Christmas music, reading books with them etc.