Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Evelyn Rennich of Smallish Blog.
“Wherever you are, be all there.” —Jim Elliot
Minimalism, at its heart, is focusing time, energy and resources towards more important aspects of life.
For most people, this intentional fixation results in a widespread clearing of clutter. “Life clutter” may take on many forms: physical belongings, technological fillers (such as alarms or apps), non-life-giving calendar items, even unhealthy relationships.
The beauty and allure of minimalism is it produces a sparklingly streamlined life in which priorities are well-ordered and there is room for that which is most important to each person.
For me, this means relationships. My relationships with my family and close friends are paramount, but so many times those closest to us receive our worst because we are over-committed, over-tired and over-stimulated.
Often, our loved ones only receive a fraction of the love, joy, support, humor, or friendship we have to offer because we are distracted. Busy. Stretched too thin.
Minimalism can help us give our best to the people who want to see it most.
The American Chaplaincy uses a term called “ministry of presence.” The idea generally translates to the act of blessing hurting people merely with a presence—by showing up. By being there. By offering tangible support, whether it’s in the form of a hug or a steaming bowl of soup.
I love the concept and name “ministry of presence.” I’d like to tweak the definition a little; let’s think of it more as a daily choice to be intentionally present in relationships.
As we move through each day, it is easy to be physically present but mentally and emotionally elsewhere. You know what that looks like: you might be in the room but disengaged from the conversation or the needs of those around you. Maybe you’re in the house but checked out and browsing online. Maybe it means you’re busy stuff-managing (organizing) again. Maybe it looks like forgetting that a friend has surgery scheduled this week.
In our busy, over-planned, over-stuffed world, it’s easy to forget that every encounter we have with another human being provides the opportunity to bless, to shed light upon, to pay attention to, whether they are in pain or not.
Embracing a simpler, clearer, more pared-down lifestyle can provide the energy and focus needed to concentrate on the people in front of us, whether it’s a dear friend over for coffee or the silky-haired child in my lap waiting for a story.
Less stuff, fewer commitments, and fewer distractions allow my main priority of relationships to shine through.
When life is slower and intentionally styled to value relationships, I am primed to interact better. To actively listen. To offer a fully formed thought instead of an absent-minded “hmmm.” To engage with a little bit of humor. To grasp someone’s hands and share a spontaneous prayer with them. To offer affirmation in the form of direct eye contact. The opportunities to share what you uniquely have to offer are endless.
Minimalism provides room for ministry of presence to be a way of life.
One of my favorite quotes is by a missionary and author Jim Elliot: “Wherever you are, be all there.” That’s ministry of presence. That’s the gift of being truly you, wholly present in every conversation.
Minimalism can clear the rubble to reveal you—able to be all you—fully present in each interaction. The ripples of such a decision will provide a valuable gift to everyone you meet.
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Evelyn Rennich writes about her attempts to live modestly, frugally, and green at Smallish Blog. You can also find her on Twitter.
About Joshua Becker
Great post! It is so easy to spread ourselves too thin, but one of the things I love about simple living is that it forces us to be intentional about what we allow in our life. This is so true when it comes to distractions that take us away from what really matters.
I have definitely been recognizing where I fall short as a mom and friend lately. I am so busy trying to keep up with my responsibilities (and FB) that I find the day goes by, and I haven’t made a real connection with my children or husband or the friend in need of a friend. Your post here is full of gentle truth and wisdom. Thank you for the reminder to be present with those we love and those in need. I am hoping that, through the process of minimizing the distractions (of all kinds), I will live the life I am truly called to live.
I love this. I must admit, I’m nowhere near living a minimalist lifestyle, but I’m making a start and already feel better.
One of the clearest, most noticing reads on minimalism!! Now I have a better explanation for getting rid of toys, saying “no” to overcommitment, keeping the living room lean.
Because of the important them.
Thank you.
Fantastic post Evelyn, and so correct. Time is a finite resource and when we focus our quality time on those we care about it means the world. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, Anthony!
I agree that being present and fully-engaged in things you enjoy (family, hobbies, etc) is a worthy pursuit. I help people reorganize their lives for more enjoyment and the first steps in that process is defining what you love and then eliminating that which does not really matter. That’s why I enjoy following becoming minimalist.
I do think there are some aspects of doing things we love that may be necessary but also fall into the “busy” category. For example, being a better friend is important to me, but keeping up with every new detail is exhausting (to me), Tools like social media or email help streamline the collection of that information, but they are often viewed as a distraction to purge. I guess my main point is that even in the pursuit of minimalism there may be room for “stuff” that helps us do it or automate certain tasks.
Great point, David. You’re right that “simple” and “minimalistic” or even “being a good friend” looks different for all of us! Thanks for your poignant thought. :)
“The beauty and allure of minimalism is it produces a sparklingly streamlined life in which priorities are well-ordered and there is room for that which is most important to each person.”
I love this sentence so much. Being present and mindful are aspects of family life that I am really trying to focus on. ‘Playing’ doesn’t come naturally to me, but I’ve learned to love play by thinking of it as an exercise in mindfulness. Staying in the present moment, being aware of everything as it happens instead of letting my thoughts wander – so much harder than it sounds! Thanks for this post.
Evelyn, your “presence” in our friendship truly is a gift. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and inspiring others to love people well. XOXO
Sweet friend! Right back at you. :)
I love this! I need to minimalize a lot of things in my life. I’m working on it, and I think I’ve gotten better half way through the year as I made a goal at the New Year to simplify my life in ways that need it. I have, but I’m still working on other areas.
Joshua, I have a question for you: Are you vegetarian or vegan? Do you consume dairy products, leather, etc. I’m asking these questions because I watched a horrible video about the insane things “human people” do against animals and I am trying to stop with everything that comes from the animal industry.
Thanks and waiting for your response.
http://www.anda.jor.br/10/06/2015/gravidez-matadouro-horror-industria-laticinios-revelado
I am trying to focus on the relationships and commitments that are most important to me, but find myself conflicted while I’m in the process of reducing my physical and digital clutter as this inevitably takes time, time that I would rather spend on the things I know are more important. It’s particularly difficult with people who are not on the same journey of simplification – it’s kind of hard to explain that you can’t meet up on Saturday afternoon because you’re decluttering your living room!
“Stuff management” …. Love that phrase. Great post. Now off to your blog!
Loved this post Evelyn! I’ve been trying to be more fully present in my own life, especially during the time that I’m with my young daughter. Time is such a gift and I’d be doing such a disservice to myself and those I love if I wasn’t fully present for it!
Beautiful post, Evelyn! And you are so right. When our lives are less cluttered with possessions, commitments, and just plain old mental clutter, we are able to be more present for those we love. Our relationships with those around us is what really matters in life.
Hi Bethany! Love your thoughts.
Love everything about this post…such wonderful advice and wisdom here. Thanks for sharing, and God bless. :)
Thank you, Cheryl. :)
Hi Evelyn, lovely post. Of all the things that bring the most joy i think it is relationships and actually spending QUALITY time with the people we love, not just any time and quality time means being ‘present’ as you put it. Thanks
Great point, Mark! Quality time is formed by being intentional, right? Thanks for sharing.
“Living in The Moment” :-D
Yes, yes, Evelyn, to this gift of presence. I know no lovelier way to connect, to relate, to love …
Linda, this is a great message.
I paid too much attention to others and let myself suffer. I know that is typical, but for the first time I am concentrating on my health, money, and happiness.
In the past I used to think the more stuff I had the happier I would be. I was misguided, although I was surrounded by the things others wanted, but in secret I was in turmoil.
“The beauty and allure of minimalism is it produces a sparklingly streamlined life in which priorities are well-ordered and there is room for that which is most important to each person.”
This is one of the best sentences I’ve ever read.
What I’ve found on my own journey to be the most important part is the “to each person” phrase you mention.
I think we have a tendency to define minimalism as a very specific way of life — kind of a one-size-fits-all — that we use to throw judgement and opinions around at will when it differs from our own.
To me, the idea of minimalism is intentional, and looks different for each and every person.
Great thoughts, Brian! You noted pretty much why I love this site so much–Joshua is intentional about making it clear that we are all on a JOURNEY to less. Therefore any step that we each take to live more minimally should be celebrated together as a community, not compared or judged. Thanks for sharing!
I really needed to be reminded of this. I am a teacher as well as a mom of 2 little girls. I am so driven by to-do lists that I often feel like I am spread too thin. Being present in both mind and body is the best thing I can do for my family and my students.
I love your blog. I have been reading it for awhile now and look forward to seeing how your green house projects turn out.
Hi Heather! Thanks for commenting. Yes, the house is slooowwwlly getting settled, but we’ve got a ways to go. ;) I’ll share more soon!
I love the way you framed attentiveness around minimalism. I just wrote something about being present this morning, but from a slightly different perspective: http://www.onthisnewmorning.com/2015/06/the-speed-of-summer.html?m=1
I’ve been on a path of discarding the superfluous for awhile now, and after reading your essay, I wonder if that process has actually helped my ability to be present. I hadn’t thought of it that way, but I’m willing to bet that it has. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing this beautifully written post Evelyn & Joshua. Very timely as well with Elisabeth Elliot (Jim Elliot’s wife) passing just two days ago. We spend a lot of our time of late on helping others, but I never want to miss my child’s smile because I’m browsing Facebook or loose out on a moment of connection with my husband because I’m stressed over stuff. Your post captures perfectly what is at the heart of minimalism and the life I want to live each day.
Thank you, Cheryl, for your sweet thought. I love that Elizabeth and Jim are finally reunited!
I love this post because it reminded me to be all there for my relationships, especially with my family. It is sooo easy to ignore the ones we love, because we know they won’t take it too seriously or hold it against us. We have a hard time ignoring our jobs, or our partners, because we fear them leaving us.
I have been focusing a lot on myself this year – self-love is the theme for me. But re-focusing on my family seems like a really good addition to that self-love bit. The more I love my family, the more I love myself.
While we have a ways to go pairing down our home and possessions, we have simplified our schedules and day-to-day lives quite a bit. I still struggle to simplify my thoughts though. My brain goes at 100mph all of the time and it causes me to miss parts of the conversation while I am in the middle of playing with the kids. I miss things that are right in front of me because I am off in a daydream or something.
Frustrating!
Oh Rebecca what a wonderful parallel! I often miss my child’s thoughts because my brain is overloaded with extra thoughts too. For me, journaling once a day helps to “dump” the thoughts out so I can think more clearly… but until I can get the thoughts on paper, it’s a battle to get there! :) Thanks for commenting.
Rebecca, you are certainly not alone. I experience the same thing on the father side of the equation … In order to be a good father and husband (active, involved, loving, supportive), I need to spend time with family and be present in those moments, but I also need to work (provide financial support), and stay healthy (exercise, prepare and eat healthy meals, meditate/pray), and volunteer at schools and church, and coach the teams, and on and on. It is challenging, if not impossible, to avoid some “leakage” in the transition … in my case, it takes time to switch my mind from one place to the other, and that creates the sensation that there is no stopping in between.
I too love this observation (“The beauty and allure of minimalism is it produces a sparklingly streamlined life in which priorities are well-ordered and there is room for that which is most important to each person.”), but it presupposes that we not only know what is “most important” and balance the myriad of activities that fall under the umbrella of “most important.”
And that is where I think I struggle, and where the “rubber meets the road” for me. I am finding that my life requires a hard editing that I am unwilling or unable to make at this time, picking in the moment between and/or balancing work, working out, coaching the team, spending time with family.
Switch, GREAT point. I’ll admit I also struggle with remembering what is most important throughout day-to-day moments. It helps to know it, in my heart in clear bursts of writing, but how I spend my time and energy truly reveals where my priorities lie. It’s a constant struggle! Thanks for sharing. :)
“Minimalism can help us give our best to the people who want to see it most.”
I love this. I think that minimalism is really not an end in itself; it’s a tool by which we can live the best life possible. And that includes extending ourselves to others!
Well stated, Daisy!
Really loved this post!! Life is very busy right now for us and being 9 months pregnant I’m overly-tired more than I’d like to admit. Such a great reminder that my 2yo and husband deserve more attention. I’ve done a lot of work simplifying and embracing a minimalist lifestyle, perhaps this tiring season in my life is encouragement to keep going with more intentional living and living more simply so I can focus on what (and WHO) matters most.
Thanks so much for this beautiful post and shining your light!!
Thanks for commenting, Katie! I’m right there with you in the oh-so-tiring seasons and I do think that this is when our real priorities are revealed. :) High five!
There is wisdom in this. Our presence, our full attention and focus, is truly the most meaningful gift we can give to another person. We’re working to simplify our lives (stuff, schedule, and so on), so we can do just that: be present and enjoy life. I’m writing about our simplification efforts each week here: http://everydaymindfulliving.com/simplify-saturday/
Hi Evelyn— I peaked at your blog and it is lovely! My, you are blessed!!! :) :) :) God is so good.
Correction—peeked. ; )
Hi Judy,
Thank you. Yes, yes He is good indeed. :)
It took me many years to realize that stuff wouldn’t make me happy. Now I get to focus on relationships. I just developed a meme yesterday entitled “Own less stuff – Pursue relationships.” Pretty timely!