I was talking to a good friend of mine earlier this year when she made a fascinating remark to me.
They were in the process of selling their large home in order to pay off some debt. When I asked her how they came to that decision, she said to me, “We’ve decided to hit reset on our life.”
She continued, “For too long we’ve overextended ourselves financially, and it’s time to take whatever steps are necessary to start fresh. So we put our house on the market and began living within a tighter budget. I don’t know what we were thinking living like that for so long, but it’s time to hit reset on our lives.”
I found the phrase to be almost magical.
“We’ve decided to hit reset on our lives.”
I was reminded of a computer that had begun to run too slow, overheating with too many applications running in the background. CTLR-ALT-DEL… Reset.
Or as Anne Lamott once said, “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”
In speaking with my friend, I was reminded of my own life. In many ways, I hit reset on my own life when I discovered minimalism. I went back to the beginning, challenging my consumption, and the many unhealthy habits that had become present in my life.
Of course, not every life is in need of a full reset. And I’m smart enough to know that resetting a life is not the same as restarting a computer. You can’t just delete past memories, experiences, injuries, or every unenjoyable responsibility in your life. Resetting the direction of one’s life requires more than a few minutes of downtime.
But we are nearing January 1—the time of year when we naturally assess the trajectory of our lives and what direction we are heading.
And maybe, just like my friend, your life needs a reset.
There is a powerful truth in the reality that you are in control of your life and you alone are responsible for the experience of living it. If you do not like the direction you are heading, you alone can choose a new path. If you have become overloaded financially or overburdened in your schedule, you alone can hit reset on your life. Even if our relationships have turned unhealthy, there is a lot we can do individually to foster an environment for change.
If your life needs a reset, it is within your power to do so.
But how do we go about hitting reset in our lives?
I fear to say these are not easy steps. This is not your typical 10 Minutes to a Clutter-Free Morning blog post. These are weighty changes that require not just re-establishing a mindset, but also implementing the hard work of making it a reality. Sometimes these changes require conversations with loved ones that may or may not be thinking about the same things.
But life reset is possible.
My friend is a mother with a husband and two teenage daughters. If she can hit reset during that stage of life, so can you.
Here are some of the places we might look to reset:
1. Look hard at your spending.
Lifestyle creep occurs when an individual’s standard of living improves as their discretionary income rises and former luxuries become new necessities. If the idea of minimalism is brand-new to you, it is very likely lifestyle creep has crept into your life more than you realize. If rethinking your finances (getting out of debt or beginning to save) is part of the necessary reset, start by looking at your spending.
2. Consider your time commitments.
Many of us live hurried, stressed lives. We rush from one activity to another. For some people, this is within their nature and they thrive in that type of environment. But for others, the urgent is keeping you from the more important, longer-lasting pursuits available to all of us. Consider the time commitments you have slowly accumulated over the years and find a new filter to promote your highest values.
3. Question your work.
The average person spends more than 90,000 hours of their lifetime at work. For many, work has become their routine and they’ve given up any thought of changing. Our job is our job and we give little thought to the reality of something different. I think that’s why two-thirds of Americans report being disengaged at work. I know that changing jobs is not always easy and not always possible. But if we’re talking seriously about hitting the reset button on our lives, looking at what we do a third of our waking hours is an essential consideration.
4. Check your motivations.
There is great progress to be made in life when we look deeper than our actions and begin checking the motivations behind them. When we don’t actively keep our motivations in check, unhealthy ones begin to emerge. We become motivated by the pursuit of riches, accolades, or building our own selfish kingdom. On an almost daily basis, it is wise to check our motivations, but we rarely do. If we can see the need for an entire life reset, it would be foolish to not check the internal motivations that may have moved us to our current situation.
5. Evaluate your relationships.
People are not things and choosing which relationships to keep and which to remove is not as simple as decluttering clothes in your closet. There are some relationships where both parties benefit and there are some relationships where we benefit. But there also ought to be some relationships in our lives where we are serving and giving and being the one who loves more. Balance is important in this area. Evaluate the current relationships in your life. Are your closest friends moving you toward the person you want to be or are they holding you back?
6. Be honest about your habits.
Sometimes, the habits we develop increase our chance of success. But other times, our habits keep us from it. How do you spend your day? How do you care for your health and body? What habits are creating a better you and which habits are keeping you stuck where you are? Resetting your life is going to require more than a one-time decision or evaluation. Often times, it is going to require you to rewire your habits from the ground up.
I don’t offer this list above as exhaustive. Certainly there are other considerations to factor in your life reset.
More than anything, I simply want to encourage you. Your life doesn’t have to remain on the same trajectory that it is today.
You can hit reset if you need to.
Hello…I am originally from the Midwest rural region of America and moved to the West Coast at age 60 (2011). I have been following your sight’s post for a couple weeks now, and find your advice and experiences, very interesting. I sincerely hope many others …also do! I am the first born of four children to our Mother in 1950. Due to our birth Father’s addiction to alcohol, our Mother chose to bag up some of our clothing and leave the abusive relationship when I was age 5+. We drove for over 2 hours in the middle of the night to our Mother’s Parent’s small farm. There we 5 took refuge, for several years until I was in the 5th grade. While there, we lived in a small farm house, with our Mother and her Parents and our Great Grandmother. We didn’t have “much” but we really didn’t know it. What we did know, was that we were loved and SAFE*. Watching and learning from the Seniors in our Family taught me how to live and enjoy , what little we did have. Out of we four children, only two of us have managed to always live a life of being non materialistic. If we truly needed something, we would save up for it. And we always reflected on whether we really “needed” it or just plain “wanted” it. But as I have grown with the passing years, I have noticed a pattern among others. They are encouraged to follow the lifestyle of abusing “privilege” of getting everything on “credit”, or trying to beat the “system” and get something…for nothing. I sure Hope and Pray daily for the sake of all Americans, that they realize it’s a “Catch 22”. Thank you for sharing your Wisdom…and encouraging others to become “minimalists*. Have yourself a Wonderful kind of Day…each and everyday*.
Reset is great. Have “reset” several times within my life It’s been great. It’s like taking a short rebreathing / a pause. Works every time
I’m 62, my husband 71 and we are resetting our lives. Moving all the way from TX to NC, seriously downsizing our belongings and developing new anti-spending mindsets. We were so unhappy and had accepted it as “normal life”. I looked for a pleasant climate, natural beauty readily accessible (mountains and valleys), activities nearby that we enjoy but don’t have now (little town festivals!) and a community where people earnestly care for and get involved with each other. Huge reset on life!
Love this story. I am thinking of the same. How are taxes and are y’all still happy in NC?
Welcome to NC. I am 62 and bought land near Shelby a year ago. Contemplating how the reset will go now.
Literally the most privileged thing I have read in a long time. Damn.
Hi Red,
Are you talking about how not everyone can just pick up and make a new job choice or social life? I’m just curious, please elaborate.
Indoctrinated robot , leave him alone.
6 years ago my family and I moved from America to a developing country. I am surprised and disheartened by how many things we’ve accumulated in that time, especially since I’ve followed Joshua’s work and others like it for many years I should have known better! I love this article and the use of the word “reset”. As my husband and I discuss the inevitable move in 2-3 years back to the states, and I finish reading David Platt’s book, Radical, and articles like this one above, I realize my life is currently in need of a reset! #6 Be Honest About Your Habits is the main one I need to spend some time on with dear hubby.
I work in social care, caring for everyone else and at times this causing me a lot of worry and stress. I starting getting into minimalism a few years back and started off really well and got into a happy place. Now I’m feeling burnt out and on edge a lot of the time. I need to strip back everything that I deem important in my life and make the relevant changes before my mental health is effected again. This post is exactly what I needed to hear at this moment of time.
2 1/2 years ago, I had a drug & gambling addiction, Couldn’t pay rent / car payment, owed taxes, credit cards, etc. I made the decision to move in with family at 39 years old. Since then I have paid off all debt, and have the most money in my checking account then I have ever had. In 1 more year, I will be able to have my Felony sealed and record cleared.
I still feel pathetic when I compare myself to others. Especially for still just being a food server at 40 years old. When I compare myself to the person that I used to be, I believe that I am doing quite well.
This ‘reset’ is taking longer for me than it would for others but like they say, ‘We didn’t become addicted in one day, So Easy Does It!’
Troy – Your comment really moved me and it made me think about what Joshua and this blog have been trying to get across to the readers – we need to redefine our idea of success. It sounds to me like you have found incredible success these past years and your reset is certainly something to be proud of!
I am planning to reset my life though it is not easy for Indian economically backward people. I have one thing only my courage.
Hoping for best in future. Ameen!
You are doing awesome Troy, thank you for sharing. What you do is important, the world needs food servers.
I love this comment so much!!! Congrats! It isn’t easy but worth it. You’re an inspiration. Do not be surprised by how many of us your story resonates with. Thank you.
You are successful. You are clean and sober, have paid your debts, and have a job and money in your account. You don’t realize how far you have come and the good path you have put yourself on. You might be the light that another person needs to see their way to a better way of living. Don’t compare yourself to other people. Compare yourself to where you were and to where are have arrived. Keep up the good work and decide what is your next goal and proceed forward. Remember others may be struggling in ways and with thinga you don’t know about.
Thank you Troy for your honestly and the service you provide your community. I’m sorry so many people are so rude and unappreciative of those that serve us our food. You are a wonderful person and have my respect for all the resets you have done in life! I’m praying for you and hope that you talk with Jesus every day, he is my best friend and always lifts my spirit when I’m down 😊
Troy! Way to go!!!!! You are doing amazingly well!!! Hang in there! Your new life is just within your reach!
Good bless you!
🙏🙌🏼❤️
Resetting is easy when it involves just you. When you have to alter your lifestyle being in a close knit family, it is a huge task. You can’t impose your lifestyle and ideas on your husband or kids. It needs a collective agreement and mutual consent. Could there be a possible solution for this?
Dear Rashmi, I fully resonate with this. However, maybe if you are the only one that feels a reset is needed, then something else in the family might not be working.
Rashmi, I can hear you very well. We don’t have to reset up to 100%. Having said that, you can apply RESET to the aspects that you have control. You can RESET YOURSELF, YOUR INCOME, YOUR LIFESTYLE. Most likely, rest will RESET automatically by the time you gain benefits of your RESET.