“Money won’t make you happy, but everybody wants to find out for themselves.” —Zig Ziglar
According to a recent survey, 71% of Americans identify money as a significant cause of stress in their lives. Of course, America is not alone in this regard.
Looking inside the numbers, we get a glimpse as to why the percentage is so high: 76% of households live paycheck-to-paycheck and credit card debt continues to grow. No doubt, these statistics contribute to the problem.
But money-related stress is not entirely a matter of simple dollars and numbers. When 71% of respondents cite money as a cause, the problem clearly extends across socio-economonic classes. Money-related stress is not just about a shortage of dollars. It is more than that.
Instead, the stress stems from the way we think about and interact with money and the solution is not as simple as “just add more.” This may mask the symptoms temporarily, but the anxiety always returns.
Instead, the solution may be as simple (and as difficult) as changing the way we think about money entirely.
If you struggle with financial-related stress, begin thinking different about money by adopting a few of these stress-reducing thoughts. They have each worked for me.
9 Stress-Reducing Truths About Money
1. You need less than you think. Most of the things we think we can’t live without are considered luxuries to most of the world—or even our grandparents. Think: cell phones, microwaves, cars, matching shoes, larger closets, just to name a few. The commercialization of our society has worked hard to stir discontent in our hearts. They have won. They have caused us to redefine their factory-produced items as legitimate needs. And have caused great stress in our lives because of it. Meanwhile, there are wonderful benefits for those who choose to own less.
2. Money won’t make you happy. It is simply an illusion that money will bring you happiness—study after study confirms it, so does experience. Some of the most joyful people I know are far from wealthy and some of the wealthiest people I know are far from joy. Now, certainly, there is a measure of stability and security that arises from having our most basic financial needs met. But we need so much less than we think we need. And the sooner we stop assuming more money will make us happy tomorrow, the sooner we can start finding happiness today.
3. Money is not the greatest goal of your work. Financial compensation does not succeed as a long-term motivator and the association between salary and job satisfaction is routinely shown to be very weak. In other words, a larger paycheck will not improve your satisfaction at work. There is a significant amount of work-related stress that can be removed by simply deciding to be content with your pay (assuming it is fair). Don’t work for the paycheck alone. Work for the sake of contribution and benefit to others. This approach is idealistic, but it is also fulfilling and stress-reducing.
4. Wealth has its own troubles. There are troubles associated with poverty, few of us would debate that fact. But there are also troubles associated with wealth. Unfortunately, we give little thought to them. As a result, we think the presence of money is always good, always a blessing. And we desire it. But money brings troubles of its own: it clouds moral judgement, it distorts empathy, it promotes pride and arrogance, it can become an addiction. Fears of the wealthy include isolation, anxiety, and raising well-adjusted children. In other words, if you are thinking money will solve your troubles, you are mistaken. And once we change our thinking on this, we can stop searching for answers in the wrong places.
5. The desire for riches robs us of life. We have heard the love of money is the root of all evil. But often times, the mere desire for more of it robs us of life as well. The desire for money consumes our time, wastes our energy, compromises our values, and limits our potential. It is wise to remove its desire from our affections. This would reduce our stress. But even better, it would allow true life-giving pursuits to emerge.
6. Boundaries are life-giving. Orson Welles once said, “The enemy of art is the absence of limitations.” I agree. And the enemy of life is the absence of boundaries. Whether they be social, financial, or moral, boundaries provide structure and a framework for life. They promote discovery, invention, and ingenuity. Boundaries motivate us to discover happiness in our present circumstance. This is one reason a personal spending plan (budget) is such a helpful tool—the financial boundary forms a helpful framework for life. It allows us to recognize we don’t have to spend more money than we earn to be happy. There is no joy in living beyond your means—only stress. Live within the boundaries of your income. And find more life because of it.
7. There is joy in giving money away. Generosity has wonderful benefits. Generous people are happier, healthier, more admired, more satisfied with life, and have deeper relationships with others. Their lives are filled with less stress. It is important to change our thinking on this topic. One of the most stress-reducing things you can ever do with your money is give some of it away. And generosity is completely achievable today regardless of our current situation.
8. The security found in money/possessions is fleeting at best. Too many of us believe security can be adequately found in possessions. As a result, many of us pursue and collect large stockpiles of possessions in the name of security or happiness. We work long hours to purchase them. We build bigger houses to store them. We spend large amounts of energy maintaining them. The burden of accumulating and maintaining slowly becomes the main focus of our lives. Meanwhile, we lose community, freedom, happiness, and passion. We exchange some of the most basic elements of life for mere possessions. Our search for security and life and joy is essential to being human—we just need to start looking for it in the right places.
9. Money, at its core, is only a tool. At its heart, money is nothing more than a tool to expedite trade. It saves us from making our own clothes, tools, and furniture. Because of money, I spend my days doing what I love and am good at. In exchange, I receive money to trade with someone else who uses their giftedness to create something different than me. That’s it. That is its purpose. And if we have enough to meet our needs, we shouldn’t live in stress trying desperately to acquire more.
Stress has some terrible affects on our bodies. It results in irratability, fatigue, and nervousness. Unfortunately, money consistently ranks as one of the greatest causes of it. But that doesn’t need to be true of us.
Let’s change the way we think about money. And start to enjoy our lives a little more instead. (tweet that)
Coming from a poor immigrant family, I was always prodded to make more money and save. My parents having lived in poverty all their lives always worry about money and want to ensure we never have to experience poverty in our lives. I understand where they are coming from and I still try to follow the tenets of minimalism, travel, yoga and living my life the way I want on my terms with as little as possible. They don’t like it very much, but I’m happy and that counts.
Yes its all true. But what about when kids need to go to college, or what if you need to do IVF treatments just to have a baby. Fertility treatments aren’t covered by insurance and can be very costly.
What about all those major things in life that do require large amounts of cash that you could really only acquire by working hard and being a slave to money?
What perspective should we have on achieving these things given that all of these things about money are true?
My parents didn’t have any money when I went off to college. I chose a less expensive, in-state college, worked really hard, and paid for it myself. These things are possible and done all the time—just my experience.
And certainly, I don’t know enough to speak thoughts about fertility treatments into specific situations. But I do know there are over 400,000 children in the United States alone in the foster care system looking for loving parents. Just a thought.
Nobody needs to live as a slave to money.
Yikes, I don’t think IVF treatments should come into play here. There are, as Joshua says, hundreds of children in need not only in the US, but in the rest of the world…
Adoption, both domestic and international, are more expensive than IVF treatments.
adoption from foster care is completely free. AND some states will pay a stipend to assist low-income (loving) families to adopt
I think the key here (for me) is #6: Boundaries. We often think that if a thing is available and others have it/do it, then we should be able to have it/do it as well. In MY life (this is not meant to point a finger at Ryan) a lot of this comes down to comparing my life with others, and that is one of the things that causes us to spend money on things and experiences we cannot afford. There is also the problem of believing we deserve to live like everyone around us (or the people we see on TV, movies, commercials, etc.) and we deserve to buy and experience all that’s out there. How many commercials/ads have we seen that tell us we deserve to buy it/own it/experience it? Great marketing tool, but so very destructive if we believe it. Living within our means (boundaries) is essential to not being a slave to money. It takes courage and determination at first, and then it is easy (in my experience). Once I am clear about what I need and don’t need and how much money I can spend on something, that becomes my limit. So I don’t shop for things that are out of my financial boundaries (college, car, home, clothes, vacations, TVs, electronics, etc.). The beautiful irony here which is so often misunderstood or simply ignored is that boundaries in all areas of life create freedom.
Well-put, everlearning. I agree about boundaries. For some reason, boundaries have been classified as a bad thing for the new generations – we want to be free. And freedom/independence/uniqueness all are the opposite of boundaries in our books. But, if you analyze deeper as you have, you will realize that boundaries actually create more freedoms for you. For example, the boundaries I created in my life before we left for our 1 year adventure, helped me save up enough money that I do not have to dip too deeply into my savings in order to pay for the trip. It has created the opportunity for freedom in my life. Thanks for your reply.
Nice thought, but I had an ex who stole tens of thousands of dollars from me that I now have to pay back. I’m definitely a slave to money, sadly.
I understand this statement more than others might – I have fertility problems and recently got married to someone that definitely wants children. The choice to adopt/get IVF treatments/whatever is a very personal one and the pros/cons and costs for each are different and yes, the costs are very high for each. However, the desire for children isn’t an innate drive for money – it is a drive to have a family and ensure they have a great education and are set up to have a happy and fulfilling life. Some of this desire will take some money, and some of it will take effort (liiiike, teaching children that money doesn’t make you happy).
Perhaps the better way to think of this is in the trade offs associated with the money involved with raising and educating a family – “If I want to pay for IVF/my kid’s college/whatever, I need at least $X. How can I cut back spending in other areas to meet this goal in ___ months/years?”
For us, the easiest place to cut back first was our food budget – less restaurant outings, fast food and otherwise, (down from once/week to once/month), more food cooked/prepped at home (i.e. less “ready to go” freezer/processed meals purchased at the store). Then we took a look at our utility bills – just making a few small changes to how we set our thermostat, what temperature we set our water heater at, how frequently we flush the toilet, and what times of day we run certain appliances saves us several hundred dollars/year. This list of small changes goes on and the savings keep adding up. Right now, the savings are split between “goal/emergency” savings accounts and paying off other debt (i.e. making larger payments than necessarry to get rid of the burden faster). Overall, we are making loads of progress and neither me or my husband feel like slaves. There’s something very liberating about learning how to make great food from scratch and subsequently crossing debt accounts off the list while watching our savings accounts grow.
For you, the trade offs might be something else, but with each dollar spent, think about the opportunity costs – “What will I not be able to do with this money once I spend it on *this*? And is *this* essential, or is my other desire/want/need (IVF, tuition, etc) more important? And, if *this* is essential, is there a reasonable, less costly alternative?”
Beautiful. Affirming. Every point absolutely TRUE.
Thank you.
woow…l dats amazing. u ve really changed somtin abt me. i always tink dat when some has money then das all and natin really matters but i been wrong all along.thanks for the good news.
Very inspiring!
It’s not very easy to stop caring for money. Because you suddenly start to think about health insurances, electricity bills, rents etc. But after a while you realize that you don’t need that car or that shoes which cost way too expensive. In the daily life one might forget this, so these kind of readings are really helpful.
Thank you.
You are just too right! I was just as engrossed in the life of consumerism until a few months ago. Then…I started reading your blog and Zen Habits and “saw the light!” I am now on my own journey towards living a minimalist lifestyle and we just started using many of these concepts you listed above to work on our past horrible spending habits.
Thanks for all the wonderful advice and sharing your knowledge!
Thank you for helping me change my perspective. Greatly appreciated!
”It is wise to remove its desire from our affections. This would reduce our stress. But even better, it would allow true life-giving pursuits to emerge.”
Really enjoyed this article! Love the quote you have at the top.
Great article! I agree with the points you made here. While I’m good at a few of them, I still have a ways to go.
I really enjoy this blog. It’s inspiring.
livingmyjoy.com
The content of the inspiring is very good
There are troubles associated with poverty, few of us would debate that fact. But there are also troubles associated with wealth. Unfortunately, we give little thought to them. As a result, we think the presence of money is always good, always a blessing. And we desire it. But money brings troubles of its own: it clouds moral judgement, it distorts empathy, it promotes pride (Y) and arrogance, it can become an addiction. Fears of the wealthy include isolation, anxiety, and raising well-adjusted children. In other words, if you are thinking money will solve your troubles, you are mistaken. And once we change our thinking on this, we can stop searching for answers in the wrong places.
Throughout the years, I’ve found that money in general, whether the abundance of or the greediness of it is the case – it only takes my mind off of things that truly matter matter to me, like my perception is smudged and I can’t keep my priorities in perspective. Oddly enough, money has never really been an important priority in my life.
I especially agree with the eight point. Sure we always need more money, but the false sense of security it provides is awfully misleading on so many levels.
Thank you for sharing this, I really enjoy reading your blog.
EXactly !! MOney is not everything , Feelings , loyality , respect , honesty is more important !!