A number of years ago, while Kim and I were grocery shopping, somebody left a large scratch along the side of our maroon minivan. Clearly, another car had scraped it and drove off.
Pushing the cart of groceries, I noticed the scratch while we were still a bit away and immediately felt a pit in my stomach. Such an ugly mark, and so obvious to anyone who glanced at the passenger side of our van.
Worse than the scratch itself was the fact that the driver who had left it there had departed the scene without leaving his or her contact information so that we could access this person’s insurance for the repair.
This meant that if we were going to get the scratch fixed, we would have to pay for it ourselves. More likely, though, given the advanced age of the car, the scratch would remain there, spoiling its appearance.
My wife and I drove away in silence, both pretty upset.
In the quiet, I began to reflect on how the incident had impacted me.
I began noticing the anger and started to wonder why I so upset about a scratch on our minivan. Righteous anger that we had been wronged? Maybe a little I suppose. But more than that, I was upset that something of ours had become damaged.
The reality is that our vehicle was a large investment for us. It had cost us a lot of hard-earned money to buy this car, and we had spent a lot of time and energy caring for it.
If I’d gotten a similar scratch on my bicycle (for example), I wouldn’t have been nearly so concerned. It wasn’t nearly as expensive. But because the car represented a major financial investment for us (our second largest, after our house), I had a lot of emotions invested in it too.
There is a very true reality in life that we become emotionally invested into those items that cost us the most. Almost naturally, without warning, where we spend our money is where our attention and affection is drawn.
Unfortunately, too many of us are tying our hearts to the wrong things. We are devoting our lives to material possessions that will never bring lasting joy.
We shop for bigger houses, faster cars, trendier clothing, and cooler technology, and we shove more and more stuff into our already packed closets. Subsequently, our physical possessions require us to invest more and more time and energy into caring for them.
But lasting fulfillment can never be found in things that are temporal by nature. And our discontent is evidenced in our excess.
Instead, it is important for each of us to look outside ourselves—to find investments that tie our hearts to things that bring real joy, lasting purpose, and meaningful fulfillment. I’m talking about our family, our friends, our spirituality, and the causes we believe in.
That is where we should be devoting more of our time, energy, and financial resources. Because when we do, we are drawn to them even more.
Living with less enables us to be more generous and giving.
I’ve seen over and over again that minimalism can be the quickest shortcut to a life of greater and more lasting significance.
A lot of people might want to be more generous, but until they free themselves from the burden of spending too much money and accumulating too many possessions, they will not be able to do it.
There’s a richness in turning our excess into someone else’s supply. And the sooner we give to others, the sooner we discover the great potential each of our lives can hold.
Generosity, then, is not just an outcome of minimalism. It can also be a motivation for it.
Wouldn’t you like to be making a difference for the better in the lives of others both near and around the world?
Of course you would. Minimalism can get you there quicker. It is a shortcut to significance.
About Joshua Becker
I thought I was living a minimalist lifestyle. I didn’t think I had that many things…then I moved into an apartment after a divorce. This apartment complex has a storage room for each of us…mine is almost full! (Gasp!)
I understand the point of your post. BUT I buy a new car approximately every ten years and I park it far, far away from where I am going so after nine years there are still no dings in my doors. I even return carts to the corral even though it is two times closer to the store than I am parked. And guess what, I am not overweight at age 63. So you can imagine my frustration when I exit a store to find a shopping cart in the side of my vehicle that some idiot was too lazy to return to the corral. I shudder every time I see someone park a $40,000 vehicle as close as possible to their destination, and then I am already in the store by the time they find a close parking spot. Ugh!
So many of us are concerned about material possessions and their impact on us and our lives. We just renovated our house and I have been having hissy fits when kids have been scratching the surfaces of freshly painted walls. But then I remind myself that it’s going to happen anyway, kids are kids. The walls needs re coating in a few years as life leaves scratches where ever you live.
Wow i needed this today
just been involved with a situation at work and i thought why am i investing my heart, my time in a toxic place,
its not just purchases we need to be wise in what we invest in but every area of our life,
this has made me think about investment
thank you
sorry for the trolls who pranged your car
love Jacqueline
Thank you for your wise words Sikarin. I think we humans do need enlightenment in these times, to always seek the truth to live in harmony with each other, all of our non human friends, and with nature.
Sorry Judy,
But by asking people to vote is a right I don’t take lightly. Everything we do is connected in the Web of Life, good or bad. I did not ask anyone who or how to vote, that is the choice of each and everyone to search their conscience and make that decision.
I think if Joshua felt my post was inappropriate he would have not have posted it, and I do appreciate the opportunity to speak here with all of you.
Buddha discovered this 2563 years ago, that is why Buddhist monks lives in small huts, wearing same old yellow robes, stick on 227 rules. All of this is just to minimize the distraction in oder to enlighten. Your articles are inclined to Buddhist way of living. We might not need/or be able to be enlightened in this life. But to live minimally, enjoy spirituality is probably well enough. Thanks for the another great article.
I scratched/dented my own car on the passenger side going thru a gate in the mountains this summer, didn’t gauge the distance well. You know what? I still haven’t fixed it. I also learned this year that a smaller place is just fine. I was in a 3bd, 2ba townhome and the owner decided to sell so I moved to a 2bd, 1ba place. The best part of the move is the larger yard for my labradoodle and more space for a garden! Second best lesson is donating what I don’t need to the local rescue mission because they help people get back on their feet by furnishing an apartment. Downsizing in all aspects of our lives is always a win win
I totally needed this today. Just yesterday I spent $800 on new clothes I didn’t need. I don’t even have anywhere to wear them to, now that I’m permanently working from home. This article is giving me incentive to return them. Thank you for your timely words!
For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Matthew 6:21
And there’s the truth, down thru the ages yet just as relevant.
So very true ❤️🙏🏻❤️
This is why I like driving my older car. I don’t care as much. Same goes for furniture and anything else. It feels good not to worry about your belongings!
Enjoy your blog, and as a professional organizer, I share a lot of what you write with my readers and clients:)
I can relate to this. Back in the 90’s my husband and I bought our first new truck. It got keyed while parked in front of our apartment because someone was angry about the lack of parking. It was an investment we were proud of and it hurt deeply, but it is really small stuff compared to the pain and suffering we humans & non humans have to endure on this planet. We donated the truck to an Animal Sanctuary here in California. My husband has passed into the Cosmos and life has taken on a new meaning for me. I no longer drive and spend more time now doing what I can to engage with people and make this world a better place.
Now is the time to Vote and look to the Future for love and kindness, not division and hate.
Please don’t get political here. Your choice may not be my choice—- and I can give you a hundred reasons why.
I am sorry your car got scratched…but my thought is …maybe the person who did it, didn’t know they had done it….a car parked too close… I choose to think of it that way..
Love your way of life!!
Choosing what to invest in emotionally is probably better than investing in objects. Like The Minimalists say: “Love people and use things, because the opposite never works”
I got my car scratched many times and got upset every time. I think that the reason is that a scratched car speaks poorly about the owner of the car. If someone sees you driving in a scratched car they will think that the driver is a careless person because he or she scratched the car or because he or she did not bother to fix the scratch. Then, the dilemma is to spend extra money to fix the scratch or worry about being perceived as a careless driver/person. We can also choose to think that there are more important things than a scratch on a car and move on.
I’ve only had one car, and it’s been scratched and bumped a few times. Never when I’m driving though, always when parked. I got upset about it the first time, but only at that moment. You are right Norma. You can choose to not think of it and move on. There are other important things to be emotional invested in as Joshua mentioned.
I have so enjoyed the steps I am taking to becoming A minimalist! It is indeed a challenge, however with every thing I give away, I am helping clear my clutter
And letting go if things I don’t use/ wear
Anymore and affording someone else
The “Joy” I have enjoyed for way long enough!
Thank you for lifting my lifestyle!
It a great feeling💓
In recent weeks I have done a lot of thinking about the fact that we are all seeking relevance, especially during this time of COVID. This article has given me a new perspective on the value of minimalism. I’m a newbie who is struggling with SO MUCH stuff. The concept of being able to share more with others can certainly be another motivating factor. Thank you.