From the outdated kitchen to the pastel-colored walls in the downstairs bedrooms, walking into my grandparents’ house was like entering a time machine. It was a world of midcentury furniture (not the kind from special art dealers or collectors; these were the default options, purchased mostly in the 50’s).
There was a desk in the hallway, reading chairs in the living room, classic rugs, houseplants, and a grandfather clock in the entryway. The sectional was minimal and left room for plenty of guests. My grandmother would always read on the couch, and stacks of magazines filled many of the nearby cabinets.
They never identified as minimalists when I was growing up—frankly, the term hadn’t been popularized yet—but everything had its purpose and place. The home felt complete with pieces that fit together like the perfect puzzle.
Growing up, I looked in their home with awe. I have countless fond memories of summer vacations and family holidays in their loving home. They seemed to have it all together. I wanted that.
When I was older, I felt this social pressure to make a complete home from day one. To leave anything incomplete seemed somehow against a cultural norm.
It wasn’t until adulthood that a simple realization clicked: my grandparents took years to purchase a household of goods. They had decades together to acquire their belongings. And their home wasn’t always like this; they consciously acquired things when needed.
Stuff was expensive, too. This was all before the cheap labor and overseas manufacturing of the Walmarts of the world (heck, they didn’t even exist back then).
My grandparents lived within their means every step of the way, depending on what was in their wallets. They carefully analyzed every purchase, and reused everything they could. Maybe that’s the consequence of being a product of the Great Depression? Who knows.
What we do know is that our world has changed dramatically since then. The rise of easy credit has allowed for ballooning consumer debt—from about $2,000 in the 1950s to $16,000 in 2016.
Now, we are instant gratification generations—swiping now and paying over time.
We expect to have everything at once, but we’re going broke in the process. Our credit cards have larger limits, products are cheaper, and buying is as easy as a click online.
We make pilgrimages to furniture stores, fantasize about spaces before we’ve set foot in a place, and browse websites that give idealized examples of carefully crafted rooms. The world is primed and expecting our consumption.
Each represents a radical departure from the lifestyles of the Greatest Generation.
I can’t help but think our ancestors knew something about minimalism that society downplays now.
When my wife and I first got married, we moved into a two-bedroom apartment and purchased only a table set for $99. Oh, and a bed—we needed that (for a number of reasons). Our living room furniture and bedroom set were hand-me-downs from her family.
We received a television set as a wedding gift. Our next purchase, months later, was a computer and desk.
We replaced the living room furniture 18 months later during a cross-country move. We used the $99 kitchen table and chairs for 13 years. And still use the bedroom set handed down to us from her grandparents.
Our home took years to make whole. And I don’t think I’d change a single thing about the process. It is a story of slow acquisition.
But outfitting a home slowly and intentionally carries a number of benefits:
1. It prevents debt. Buying home furnishings and decorations is a costly endeavor. Accumulating slowly helps prevent the danger of starting out with costly consumer debt—it can take years to overcome financial mismanagement.
2. It spurs intentionality and thoughtfulness. When we accumulate slowly, we are more likely to thoughtfully weigh the significance of our purchases. Is this really needed? If so, what is the best option and avenue for purchase? The more deliberate we are in our timeline, the more intentional we become in the process.
3. It slows the accumulation of clutter and excess. The slower we purchase, the slower we accumulate life-draining clutter.
4. It grants freedom in lifestyle. Consumer purchases inhibit freedom. They require money, time, and energy to acquire and maintain.
Therein laid my grandparents’ powerful lesson: to make our home ours, we couldn’t buy stuff immediately to recreate or mimic another’s space. Instead, we thoughtfully considered what we needed and budgeted carefully for each addition.
Despite living in a world of accessibility and easy consumption, we all need to find ways to slow down. The “perfect” item will remain or can be recreated, if necessary. Sales come and go. And your favorite big-box retailer probably won’t be going out of business any time soon.
Give yourself the opportunity to make your space yours. But as you do, don’t forget to consider the merits of acquiring pieces slowly.
Never be in a hurry to spend money you don’t have.
Sekar says
Hey, thank you for writing this. This hits home for me as I feel pressured by countless ‘minimalist’ blogs or videos out there of which the shots taken inside the living space are so aesthetically-pleasing. It’s so dear to the eyes, and I myself have accumulated pins on Pinterest about modern minimalist style.
But I can’t measure up. I live in a family home which was built in the 70’s or 80’s, hence the architectural design and taste is quite different. My parents bought furnitures like sofa and reading chairs with ornate decoration which are totally the misfits in the world of modern furnitures, but they blend so well with the old home.
This makes me feel I’m an outcast and I don’t have the right to call myself a minimalist, just because I live in a hand-me-down-decorated living space. I don’t feel eligible to take pictures or videos about my minimalism tips because I’m afraid someone will chirp that my room layout and furnitures don’t represent modern minimalist black-and-white taste.
But I’m a minimalist at heart. I don’t buy new furnitures because the old sofa and chairs can still be used. I removed the unnecessary items. I decluttered. I buy things I really need, not what I want despite they might look good in the new aesthetic.
Thank you for a slap to my face. I’m still a minimalist despite my house doesn’t look so.
Grace says
Yes! Thank you so much! This was a wonderfully timed reminder for me as my husband and I are about to move into a new home, and it’s the first home that we own. Now that we actually own the place, and thus have much more control over its appearance, I feel like there has been so much pressure and expectation to paint and renovate, make sure all the decor goes together and the furniture is matching. I didn’t have much desire of my own to do those things, at least not all right away, and it’s been overwhelming and stressful for me. Reading this helped alleviate that, and I know it’s okay to take my own sweet time.
Kara says
Take your time! It doesn’t have to all be decorated now. It took my 5 years to pick out cabinet pulls and countless people gave me grief over it. Why should they care if I have cabinet pulls for crying out loud!? I was searching for the *right* ones. I found them and love them, but I was surprised that other people, close friends and family, had an opinion on when and how my kitchen should be adorned.
Shilpa Malhotra says
A youthful couple I know as of late got another home and inside possibly 14 days of living there, the house was outfitted through and through. Everything obtained without a moment’s delay and conveyed. Beds, lounge room furniture, lounge area set, and so on. It was delightful, however it seemed somewhat odd … as it took me years to obtain such things ; )
Bethany says
Thank you so much for this article – it really rings true for me. Although my grandparents didn’t easily get rid of their possessions, but also didn’t add to them rapidly. They bought what they could afford and didn’t worry about trends and style the way so many do today.
Agata says
I remember my grandparent,s house. They had everything they needed, granny was cooking 100 times more often than I do, and their house was never ever cluttered. How come? We were always using the same glassess from the same cupboards, there was always the same table which could handle any amount of people, everythong was so functional… everything had either a functional value or some history in it. It was so calm, so ordered… I look at my appartment and I feel just devastated.. there are so so many things here and so little of them has any meaning for me. Today I started my way with this blog, keep your fingers crossed for me please :). I really need to unclutter my life, just started with books today.
Amy@MoreTimeThanMoney says
Yes! This is how our home has developed. Both my husband and I were fairly transient in our 20s, met and settled down in our early 30s. The first place we rented together came almost entirely furnished. Then we moved into the first home of our own. With a new mortgage there was no way we could afford to buy stuff! My parents very kindly bought us a refrigerator as a moving in present. My Nana brought me a vacuum cleaner (oh how my priorities changed, I thought that was the best gift ever). We had a collection of random things we’d acquired over the years (a cutlery set my husband had been given as Christmas present at job he had many years before), family and friends passed on things (the dining table of my childhood, my friend’s Nana’s old couch) and we purchased a few pieces of furniture second hand. Over the last 10 years, we have been gradually replacing these items with new, or new-to-us items, that better reflect our own tastes and preferences.
Cristina Rosu says
This is such an important aspect of minimalism that seems to be so rarely discussed. Reading this made me realize that minimalism is as much an active process as it is a passive one. So often we talk about the active part – the decluttering, the donating, the things you can do to make minimalism happen now. It’s less often that anyone talks about the passive parts of the process. To abstain from buying. To wait. To not take action immediately. In a lot of ways not taking action is a lot harder than taking action, especially in our on-the-go, instant gratification driven society. I learned so much from reading this post. Thank you.
Ayesha says
Awesome article, and extraordinary remarks.
I have some leftover furniture and some stuff I purchased new more than thirty years prior. All great quality. Clearly not the most recent in vogue things, but rather it suits me fine. I am scaling back. Having less can rest easy.
Mom Minimal says
I really enjoy your analyzing and description of these two, very different, eras. When my husband and I first married both of our families gave us so much stuff. Then when we moved into our home they gave us even more.
His family had very post-depression attributes that led to them picking up every free thing off the side of the road. My family used plastic to keep up with everything during tough winters, but also to update worn furniture.
In the end my husband and I have ended up with a small debt that we are hoping to demolish this year, as well as a home and storage space that is filled to the brim with items we thought we may use someday.
This is why we pursue minimalism. Not so much because it’s popular, but instead because we want a home that is carefully and slowly crafted with care and intention. First, however we have to remove all the clutter and unnecessary things, as well as debt, before we can fill our space with what we love and need.
Thank you for such an inspiring article!
Thomas says
I do agree on this. My grandparents lived very simple also and everything they owned they aquired slowly or created it by themselves (my grandfather was a carpenter). Money was short all the time and they always invested in their children and later grandchildren first.