“Only in quiet waters do things mirror themselves undistorted. Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world.” – Hans Margolius
It’s no secret that we are bombarded everyday with countless messages. In America alone, advertising is a $412 billion/year industry that is constantly telling us what to watch, where to go, and what to purchase. Their messages fill our televisions, radios, computers, newspapers, magazines, and morning commutes. The industry gladly spends this money because they know over time, they will shape our minds, hearts, and spending habits. Add all of the political pundits and experts filling our airwaves telling us how we should think… and it becomes increasingly clear that we are bombarded nearly every moment of our lives with messages that others want us to hear and believe.
All of these messages inevitably begin to shape our lives. Our heart and mind is indeed influenced by the messages that enter through our eyes and ears. And our life is slowly whittled away and re-formed by the loudest voices that get through (it’s no reason they are shouting so loud for our attention).
Whether you are pursuing a “less is more” lifestyle or just trying to find more health and fulfillment in your life, you will find countless benefits from embracing a discipline of solitude.
Solitude provides opportunity to rediscover our lives. By “electing to intentionally withdraw from human relationships for a period of time,” we are able to remove the shaping influence of others and recenter our hearts on our deepest values. We are able to evaluate the assumptions, claims, and messages of our culture. Often times, we realize that these shaping forces have been incorrect all along. And we have lost our lives because of them.
Consider that when we embrace solitude…
- We intentionally remove the influence of others for period of time.
- We intentionally remove the expectations of others.
- We are able to hear our own heart speak.
- We find rest and refreshment.
- We discover that others can live without us.
- We find that the world does not rest on our shoulders.
- We can adequately reflect on our past and chart our future.
- We break the cycle of busyness in our lives.
- We become better equipped to show patience with others.
- We feed our souls.
While anyone can practice solitude at any given time by just finding a quiet place to sit for an extended period of time, I have found these tips to be particularly helpful in developing a discipline of concentrated solitude:
Give yourself enough time. If you are just starting, try 30 minutes. Typically, the first 15 minutes are filled with a busy mind still running fast. But after about 15 minutes, your mind will slow down enough to offer you deep reflection. And the longer you give it, the deeper it will go.
Schedule time. If you are just hoping for an extra 30-45 minutes to show up in your day for solitude, it’ll never come. Time for solitude must be desired, scheduled, and created.
Find a calm location. Your surroundings will make a big difference. Avoid “fast-paced” locations such as offices, kitchens, or any place that reminds you of work. Also keep in mind that you’ll find solitude more fulfilling if your space is uncluttered.
Take as little as possible with you.
Just allow your mind to wander. There are no set rules concerning what you should be thinking about. Just let your mind wander. As I mentioned, it will skip around at the very beginning. But eventually, your mind will settle in on something that your heart has been trying to tell you all along.
Don’t quit just because you don’t like what you find. The journey into our heart is not always a pretty one. Sometimes when we start pulling back the layers of our heart and realize our deepest motivations, we don’t like what we see. This can be difficult for some and cause even more to stop altogether. But, don’t. A richer, fuller life is just around the corner.
Don’t worry if you fall asleep. While solitude is different than napping, if you consistently find yourself falling asleep during these quiet periods, your mind may be trying to tell you something. And you should probably listen.
Pray. If you are spiritual, certainly use this time to connect with God. If you are not spiritual, solitude just may put you more in touch with God if you are open to it. Because God often speaks with a small voice that is drowned out by the world’s noise, we can’t hear it until we intentionally listen for it.
Give solitude a chance. You’ve got nothing to lose. And your life to gain back.
So powerful a message. I have practiced it. It is rewarding. I mean the inner peace it creates. Every one should try it out!
I agree I find alot of happiness in solitude. I find alot of peace in it too. I also feel you have a much better relationship with God because you can tune out this crazy world we live in. You can hear that soft comforting voice that God speaks in. Also being in solitude also means you can be yourself there is no one who is there trying to tell ya how to live. There is more privacy witch I love my privacy. There is much peace in solitude.
I am a young lady aged 25 who lives a very busy life in a sense that I believe every minute of my life should be used wisely. Living a busy life has resulted in me taking on more than I can handle at times. The fact that I am under pressure all the time makes me feel anxious for majority of my life. I struggle from anxiety and it reduces my quality of life. In essence, even though I have accomplished so much at a young age I don’t get to embrace my journey and accomplishments. I found this article so insightful and it put things into perspective for me. Less is truly more! If I strive towards making myself happy and not treating my life like a deadline I am hopeful that I will be able to quieten the mind successfully, I’ll be able to find happiness and be content with what I have. I am on my journey to rectifying my way of thinking and having an attitude of gratitude while striving towards solitude.
K. Mokgatle
Hi buddy,
It’s so warm to hear that you have understood this article’s wisdom.
I don’t know about you, but I have felt some similar great peace while watching certain programs from Japanese culture.
There seems to be a profound beautiful impact due to solitude in many aspects of Japanese culture.
Although sometimes you do get the crowded feeling from the many crafts and knowledge that they seek using serious introspection.
But even in that they find order and take in only limited quantities.
Less is more for them I feel.
Though you might have to view it with the inner peace in mind.
The brain washed larger percentage of society breeds strange fears about solitude, that is so untrue and immature.
Do try to be inspired from other cultures and older books.
Something about solitude that teaches us the minute meanings of less.
Less is more space to turn.
Happy solitude hobbies and inner peace to you.
A book I’m reading that has been very helpful in this area is Essentialism by Greg McKeown. 🙌🏼😊
I am so happy I discovered this website by nature I am quiet,introverted and sensitive to things of the human spirit. I crave silence but living in a busy city,it is impossible to find. Can anyone help me find a place to live in harmony with my body,mind and spirit?
I totally agree with you.You can not hear God from this noisy world unless you intentionally listen to him
I’m doing this “solitude” for the entire year, 2016.
So far, 2 months in and I only touch base with my dad and 3 pals for brief moments now and then. After several emotionally draining years of relationships and situations, some going haywire by my sensitive reactions, and others by people bringing/dumping problems into my life, including some persons blaming me for THIER issues. It’s high time to figure out what truly keeps my mind at ease so that I can function in a healthful, loving and giving way.
I’m already programmed for this being an introvert and female INTJ. So far I have had a fantastic January and February. Purging started in 2015 and my home is blissfully minimal now and I even created a year round capsule closet which I love and is already drastically changing how I needlessly spend money. Positive times 2 already!
For the rest of the year I am focusing on my mind and body, reflecting, figuring out my actions and thoughts as to why certain things did or did not happen, taking care of my health and wellness, and becoming minimalist in mindset and lifestyle.
I’ve left some people behind but time will tell if a purge was truly necessary. I will not be returning to toxic, draining and fake/user type friendships that were already highly suspect according to my intuition.
So it’s now early March and my solitude continues down a path that I am very clearly focused on. True happiness comes from within and I believe that being responsible first to ourselves is the key. I am not without my own issues and personality quirks so I intend to work on myself as much as I can with minimal feedback for now. Research, thoughtfulness and changing my attitude come before embarking on new relationships for me.
Putting these results to the test will be one of my big and hopefully positive challenges in 2017. After all being minimalist is about focusing on what we love in life and that brings me to this thought…
“All new and established relationships should blossom from MY happiness.”
Luckily I am in a good financial position and can afford to take this time to myself but that doesn’t make me forget to give to others, which I do by volunteering in an animal welfare facility.
Best to you all in these trying times. Thinking peace of mind.
Let me know how it turns out after. Cheers
Hi Bonnie, I am a INTJ as well. I’m searching for like minded individuals as I have no support from friends or family. The support I witness is half hearted and empty (No one understands how i process thoughts) I am on a path to wisdom, knowledge & understanding. I desire to be someone great, no boundaries shall contain my soul. The perception & reliance of individuals in my life seems to be misconstrued and everlastingly misleading. I have considered withdrawing from social communications in effort to cleanse my mind, body, soul and spirit. My breaking point with life has been void as I feel the need to reposition my composure systematically. Great appreciation for your post and courage to do what few see as an life for-filling accomplishment. As for anyone who shares the same thoughts, feeling or emotions you are not alone. Contacttimking@gmail.com
Thanks for bringing attention to solitude! Solitude is not only near & dear to my heart, it is a requirement. The solitude matters!
http://thesolitudematters.com
It seems like you are not speaking of solitude but of short time outs to meditate, which is good.
As far as praying I believe this is destructive as there is no god and to pray is to be delusional.
I believe real long term solitude is very beneficial.
That’s so very true.
I agree to the same.
I always found greater joy from solitude.
The sweet inner peace and the minimum knowledge to learn makes a profound difference in understanding life.
Keep the peace.
Nikhil
Prayers keeping you touch-base with your creator in the midst of a busy day. Dont be afraid if you feel you need to ‘steel’ time… because God is the owner of time.. and whatever time you have to take-off in order to serve him in prayers.. he will reimburse a thousand more of time for you.
And from a young age I find solitude among strangers. While travelling. Letting the iron curtain fall around myself. Becoming invincible to the shoving and shouting and hectic in airports, busses, train stations, border and customs agents, and discos.
All that outside information scrambles and just becomes noise, overpowering any information from the outside, leaving only the mind giving meaning to being.
I have my solitude during massage. Eyes closed focus on the sensations all over the body. No talk. No conversation. Just letting the mind flow. In China I had a great masseur who made me sleep at the end. Absolutely amazing.
“Language… has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.”
Paul Tillich
Great post Joshua, as are the other blogs. I just discovered you and your messages, thanks for sharing. On the value of solitude and mindfulness, I discovered a very useful app that I’ve used and that is very easy to use for those getting started and having difficulties with stepping out of the noise. You can find it at http://www.headspace.com . Good luck to everyone ! Elke
Hi Joshua,
It was a delight to discover you through a share on Twitter.
I resonate with your take on solitude. It seems with ever increasing demands on our time, if we are not careful, there will be little left for ourselves, so it’s something we cannot afford to put off. You’re right: solitude is where your life is waiting. This advice will serve to strengthen many more people.
Kind Regards,
Bill
My husband passed away 6 months ago unexpectedly and I have been trying to continue to work and carry on so that I can be a role model for my kids but reading this I believe I do need to take a day a week whilst the kids are at school and daycare to find my own solitude and recharge so I am better for them. It is really about being brave enough to find that solitude for me.
Great posts as usual except for the last point
Please don’t attract the gullible god botherers
Spiritualism is one thing but organised religion is a very different beast.
I am not any labelled religion. I am spiritual in that the idea of God to me is my highest self/ consciousness that I spend my lifetime trying to seek. I am happy to say I’ve made peace with any religious ideas coming directly up in my life. I have no judgement except that we all walk our own path & that as a human species, we all have similar journeys & ends, just through different means & ideas.
Having said this, what got through to me most in this post was every other idea listed. The thought that a “God” exists that is external or not part of me is not an idea I embrace, so to me, it is implied in all other points. I think that listening to our bodies and higher consciousness is what is most important & that is why rational minimalism is what I was missing for so long. To only carry what we need & a few extras through life is true freedom. It gives me time & opportunity to explore myself instead of focusing on meaningless “things” & visual clutter.
I re-post in:http://shareforthefuture.wordpress.com/2013/09/18/quietude-onde-sua-vida-esta-esperando/