“Only in quiet waters do things mirror themselves undistorted. Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world.” – Hans Margolius
It’s no secret that we are bombarded everyday with countless messages. In America alone, advertising is a $412 billion/year industry that is constantly telling us what to watch, where to go, and what to purchase. Their messages fill our televisions, radios, computers, newspapers, magazines, and morning commutes. The industry gladly spends this money because they know over time, they will shape our minds, hearts, and spending habits. Add all of the political pundits and experts filling our airwaves telling us how we should think… and it becomes increasingly clear that we are bombarded nearly every moment of our lives with messages that others want us to hear and believe.
All of these messages inevitably begin to shape our lives. Our heart and mind is indeed influenced by the messages that enter through our eyes and ears. And our life is slowly whittled away and re-formed by the loudest voices that get through (it’s no reason they are shouting so loud for our attention).
Whether you are pursuing a “less is more” lifestyle or just trying to find more health and fulfillment in your life, you will find countless benefits from embracing a discipline of solitude.
Solitude provides opportunity to rediscover our lives. By “electing to intentionally withdraw from human relationships for a period of time,” we are able to remove the shaping influence of others and recenter our hearts on our deepest values. We are able to evaluate the assumptions, claims, and messages of our culture. Often times, we realize that these shaping forces have been incorrect all along. And we have lost our lives because of them.
Consider that when we embrace solitude…
- We intentionally remove the influence of others for period of time.
- We intentionally remove the expectations of others.
- We are able to hear our own heart speak.
- We find rest and refreshment.
- We discover that others can live without us.
- We find that the world does not rest on our shoulders.
- We can adequately reflect on our past and chart our future.
- We break the cycle of busyness in our lives.
- We become better equipped to show patience with others.
- We feed our souls.
While anyone can practice solitude at any given time by just finding a quiet place to sit for an extended period of time, I have found these tips to be particularly helpful in developing a discipline of concentrated solitude:
Give yourself enough time. If you are just starting, try 30 minutes. Typically, the first 15 minutes are filled with a busy mind still running fast. But after about 15 minutes, your mind will slow down enough to offer you deep reflection. And the longer you give it, the deeper it will go.
Schedule time. If you are just hoping for an extra 30-45 minutes to show up in your day for solitude, it’ll never come. Time for solitude must be desired, scheduled, and created.
Find a calm location. Your surroundings will make a big difference. Avoid “fast-paced” locations such as offices, kitchens, or any place that reminds you of work. Also keep in mind that you’ll find solitude more fulfilling if your space is uncluttered.
Take as little as possible with you.
Just allow your mind to wander. There are no set rules concerning what you should be thinking about. Just let your mind wander. As I mentioned, it will skip around at the very beginning. But eventually, your mind will settle in on something that your heart has been trying to tell you all along.
Don’t quit just because you don’t like what you find. The journey into our heart is not always a pretty one. Sometimes when we start pulling back the layers of our heart and realize our deepest motivations, we don’t like what we see. This can be difficult for some and cause even more to stop altogether. But, don’t. A richer, fuller life is just around the corner.
Don’t worry if you fall asleep. While solitude is different than napping, if you consistently find yourself falling asleep during these quiet periods, your mind may be trying to tell you something. And you should probably listen.
Pray. If you are spiritual, certainly use this time to connect with God. If you are not spiritual, solitude just may put you more in touch with God if you are open to it. Because God often speaks with a small voice that is drowned out by the world’s noise, we can’t hear it until we intentionally listen for it.
Give solitude a chance. You’ve got nothing to lose. And your life to gain back.
charles says
I am so happy I discovered this website by nature I am quiet,introverted and sensitive to things of the human spirit. I crave silence but living in a busy city,it is impossible to find. Can anyone help me find a place to live in harmony with my body,mind and spirit?
Asempa says
I totally agree with you.You can not hear God from this noisy world unless you intentionally listen to him
Bonnie says
I’m doing this “solitude” for the entire year, 2016.
So far, 2 months in and I only touch base with my dad and 3 pals for brief moments now and then. After several emotionally draining years of relationships and situations, some going haywire by my sensitive reactions, and others by people bringing/dumping problems into my life, including some persons blaming me for THIER issues. It’s high time to figure out what truly keeps my mind at ease so that I can function in a healthful, loving and giving way.
I’m already programmed for this being an introvert and female INTJ. So far I have had a fantastic January and February. Purging started in 2015 and my home is blissfully minimal now and I even created a year round capsule closet which I love and is already drastically changing how I needlessly spend money. Positive times 2 already!
For the rest of the year I am focusing on my mind and body, reflecting, figuring out my actions and thoughts as to why certain things did or did not happen, taking care of my health and wellness, and becoming minimalist in mindset and lifestyle.
I’ve left some people behind but time will tell if a purge was truly necessary. I will not be returning to toxic, draining and fake/user type friendships that were already highly suspect according to my intuition.
So it’s now early March and my solitude continues down a path that I am very clearly focused on. True happiness comes from within and I believe that being responsible first to ourselves is the key. I am not without my own issues and personality quirks so I intend to work on myself as much as I can with minimal feedback for now. Research, thoughtfulness and changing my attitude come before embarking on new relationships for me.
Putting these results to the test will be one of my big and hopefully positive challenges in 2017. After all being minimalist is about focusing on what we love in life and that brings me to this thought…
“All new and established relationships should blossom from MY happiness.”
Luckily I am in a good financial position and can afford to take this time to myself but that doesn’t make me forget to give to others, which I do by volunteering in an animal welfare facility.
Best to you all in these trying times. Thinking peace of mind.
Kyaw lin says
Let me know how it turns out after. Cheers
Timothy says
Hi Bonnie, I am a INTJ as well. I’m searching for like minded individuals as I have no support from friends or family. The support I witness is half hearted and empty (No one understands how i process thoughts) I am on a path to wisdom, knowledge & understanding. I desire to be someone great, no boundaries shall contain my soul. The perception & reliance of individuals in my life seems to be misconstrued and everlastingly misleading. I have considered withdrawing from social communications in effort to cleanse my mind, body, soul and spirit. My breaking point with life has been void as I feel the need to reposition my composure systematically. Great appreciation for your post and courage to do what few see as an life for-filling accomplishment. As for anyone who shares the same thoughts, feeling or emotions you are not alone. Contacttimking@gmail.com
Lynne says
Thanks for bringing attention to solitude! Solitude is not only near & dear to my heart, it is a requirement. The solitude matters!
http://thesolitudematters.com
Rake says
It seems like you are not speaking of solitude but of short time outs to meditate, which is good.
As far as praying I believe this is destructive as there is no god and to pray is to be delusional.
I believe real long term solitude is very beneficial.
Nikhil says
That’s so very true.
I agree to the same.
I always found greater joy from solitude.
The sweet inner peace and the minimum knowledge to learn makes a profound difference in understanding life.
Keep the peace.
Nikhil
Nida says
Prayers keeping you touch-base with your creator in the midst of a busy day. Dont be afraid if you feel you need to ‘steel’ time… because God is the owner of time.. and whatever time you have to take-off in order to serve him in prayers.. he will reimburse a thousand more of time for you.
ralf says
And from a young age I find solitude among strangers. While travelling. Letting the iron curtain fall around myself. Becoming invincible to the shoving and shouting and hectic in airports, busses, train stations, border and customs agents, and discos.
All that outside information scrambles and just becomes noise, overpowering any information from the outside, leaving only the mind giving meaning to being.
ralf says
I have my solitude during massage. Eyes closed focus on the sensations all over the body. No talk. No conversation. Just letting the mind flow. In China I had a great masseur who made me sleep at the end. Absolutely amazing.
Tex says
“Language… has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.”
Paul Tillich
Elke says
Great post Joshua, as are the other blogs. I just discovered you and your messages, thanks for sharing. On the value of solitude and mindfulness, I discovered a very useful app that I’ve used and that is very easy to use for those getting started and having difficulties with stepping out of the noise. You can find it at http://www.headspace.com . Good luck to everyone ! Elke