I write these words for everyone in the world except for one person. This post is for the 7.52 billion people who are not the richest person in the world. In other words, Elon Musk, if you are reading, this is not for you.
To everyone else, I have some news:
Someone in the world has more than you, get used to it.
I once read a fascinating statistic about millionaires who lost their wealth. A survey was conducted of people who once had a net worth of $2 million, but now are worth less than $1 million. When asked how they lost half their fortune, 40% responded, “We started hanging out with people worth $10 million, and we lost our money trying to match their spending.”
The study, which I read years and years ago, has always stuck with me. It reveals an important truth:
There is always going to be someone in the world with more than you and trying to keep up with them is a losing battle. Because there will always be someone else ahead of you in the game.
- There is a co-worker in your office who has more than you.
- There is a neighbor down the street who has more than you.
- Someone at your church or community group has more than you.
- There is a family at your kid’s school who has more than you.
- And we all know there is someone on television right now who has more than you.
That is always going to be the case (except for you Elon).
Now, it seems to me there are only a couple of responses we can have to this reality:
1. We get jealous and envious and bitter that someone has more.
2. We accept it and decide to find happiness with what we have.
The clear choice for a joyful and happy life is #2.
But too often, we choose #1.
As a result, we spend much our time comparing our things to other people. We compare the size of our house, the year of our automobile, the brand of our clothing, our last vacation destination, the age of our retirement, or our paycheck with the person next to us.
Unfortunately, there is no joy to be found in these comparisons. Ever. Because there is always going to be someone with more.
There is no contentment to be found in comparing our stuff with other people. You may think that once you own a fancy house or nice car like so-and-so, you’ll be happy. But that’s simply not the case because there is always going to be someone else to compare yourself to… always a bigger house, a more prestigious neighborhood, or a fancier model car to own.
There is no end to the comparison game. There is always, always going to be someone in the world with more.
I fear making sweeping generalizations, but I am going to for the sake of argument.
If you are reading these words, your needs are met. You have clothes and food and shelter.
You may not have the most expensive clothes in the world, you may not eat at the fanciest restaurants, and you may not live in the biggest house on your block. But your needs are being met.
In fact, I may take this moment to declare another truth. Not only is there someone in this world with more than you, there is someone in this world with less than you.
There is someone in this world with less than you who is perfectly content and happy because they have chosen to be happy right where they are, rather than comparing their lives to someone with more.
There is someone in the world with more than you. But you have many reasons to be grateful. And you have everything you need to find happiness. So stop comparing.
Arthur Koulianos says
Great posts. Nothing wrong with ambition. However sometimes the struggle for more leaves us a little spent and not being able to enjoy anything, nor see it.
Mark says
I am in the process of minimalism for a while now. I keep finding these articles, about less, very inspirational.
My life is not easy at the moment and I am not referring to minimalism as the difficult part in my life, quite the opposite.
Recently I lost people close to me and without a job I feel stuck, unable to move forward and isolated. Surprisingly, these trails brought me closer to my faith than I could ever have imagined. Through minimalism, I have experienced that peace returned in my life. I learned to remove everything that weighs me down. By doing so I found a sort of peace and quietness and I was able listen and hear. I now feel I must endure this difficult part of my life, for it was meant to be this way. It was necessary to open my eyes. I can only hope that these hard times lead to the greatest moments in my life.
Joshua, I simply want to thank you for giving me the message of minimalism. Thank you for waking me up and providing me an alternative way of live. I found so much more by less.
Denise says
1 Timothy 6:8 “So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.”
I keep it on a post it on my wall where I can see it always. Thanks for the wonderful post and reminder to be grateful.
Karen Burgess says
Thanks for all you do and share. Always looking forward to the becomingminimalist posts.
Rachel Castillo says
By maintenance I mean we all make our own breakfast but everyone gets up from the table and leaves their plates and cups etc to get up earlier is impossible as we all get an average of approximately 3 hours of sleep a day. We need a solution here. Thank you
Kathy Roberts says
I totally feel you, and I understand. It’s because you think there isn’t enough time to clean up after yourselves because people who are more right brain than left brained… people who are labeled ADD ADHD, or just people who are more distracted than others have a warped perception of time.
We have to recognize this and then do things differently. When we do things differently long enough, we will realize that it doesn’t take as long as we think it does. And if you’re around people who have been there and done that then you could have the strength to do what it is that needs to be done, even though it feels counterintuitive
Because you’ve been doing things a specific way for so long it seems wrong to do it any other way.
Even though everybody has busy lives, and even though you can’t get up any earlier, it’s still very possible and completely doable to clean up after yourself, and to teach those to clean up after themselves. We all know people with us busy lives as we have, and maybe they have a special needs child or they have special needs themselves, and their house is clean. So it’s not our circumstances.
What I do is, I can’t Mississippi’s or elephants to show me that it doesn’t take as long as I think it does. And even after over 30 years of doing this, I still have to count Mississippi sometimes because my mind tells me “you don’t have time to do that!” So when I’m done eating, I count… one Mississippi to Mississippi, three Mississippi for Mississippi cleaning up my place, Not everybody else’s, just mine And I find that it took me 10 Mississippi’s sometimes things take 100 Mississippi’s that’s what 40 seconds more than a minute? There really is time. Tell yourself there is enough time, and make a commitment to “do it now” “it goes or goes” so if it leaves your hands, it goes where it goes, and “count Mississippi’s”. Things will change so rapidly, in your heart, mind and home… let me know how it goes.
Rachel Castillo says
I have general question. We’ve downsized our possessions to what we like and use BUT our bad maintenance habbits are killing us. Everyones super busy and tired and we repeat the same frustrating habbits and screaming about it we cant seem to change our maintenance habbits and it’s frustrating and wearing us down. Can someone offer advise and realistic ideas. We cant seem to get out of the hamster’s wheel.
Mylène says
Hello,
French frog is there.
Thank you Joshua for this post.
Yes, jealousy is a scourge and desire can consume you.
But I think we can all think out of the box.
I explain : I do not want become rich (more money) but I want to have more time (thanks minimalism!).
I use my desire to have more time (and space) to change and improve myself (I am not sure to be clear, but I think you can understand what I mean :-) ).
I am grateful for everything I have (especially health, love, family..). I think we can use this energy of desire such way she can be positive and not anymore something toxic.
If you are jealous, change your mind and look how to become different.
How to be wiser for example?
For me it comes down a bit like this:
If you can’t be with those you love, love those with whom you are …
Thank you for your work.
Bonjour de France!
Don Michel says
Ah, more time? That’s an even harder task than more possions. There is no more time – and all endings are unhappy. Learn to love the journey.
Karen Burgess says
Joshua, thank you for being who you are and always sharing your wisdom with us. I receive many posts dealing with living a simple life and minimalism, I can’t read them all. But when I get one from Becomingminimalist I always stop to read, whether it is written by you or a guest, (because I know you would not post it, if it wasn’t relevant). Keep up the good work.
Kristina Hicks-Hamblin says
Bravo! Well said. A good reminder to us all.
Thank you for all the work you do, yours is a great voice to have as guidance.
Dave says
Great post. So true. Thanks for that.
The fantasy forms: Jeff Bezos reading and thinking ‘wait, he has better hair’