Last week, I had the most engaging opportunity to meet Gracia Burnham.
Gracia and her husband were kidnapped by gunpoint on the night of their 18th anniversary. They were taken hostage by the Abu Sayyaf, an Islamist terrorist group operating in the southern Philippines. For the next year, they would live in the jungle alongside their captors routinely relocating to new areas avoiding (and engaging) the Philippine military. She would eventually be rescued by the national army on June 7, 2002. However, her husband Martin would be killed by three gunshots in the chest during the rescue attempt. You can read her captivating story in her New York Times Bestselling Book, In the Presence of My Enemies.
While I was listening to Gracia recount her horrific story, she made a statement that immediately engaged my heart. She said, “When everything is taken away, we begin to see who we truly are.”
In her context, she spoke about her living conditions for that year in the jungle. “We were taken with nothing but the clothes on our backs. We no longer had our comfortable home, suitable clothing, warm food, or even shoes to wear. And there was no place for my heart to hide.” She began to tell us about the utter hate she felt for the terrorists. She experienced deep levels of jealousy and envy when others would eat more food than her. She struggled to find hope… much less love. And in her own words, “I didn’t like what I saw deep in my heart. But because we had nothing, there was nowhere to hide these feelings. We had to confront them head-on.”
I would never, ever compare my self-chosen journey into minimalism with the story of the Burnham’s. But on the surface, I do recognize some valuable opportunities identified in her story. Namely, as our possessions have been stripped away, we do encounter new heart areas that would not necessarily have been engaged before:
1. Motivations. When we began delivering van loads of things to Goodwill, the first trip was easy – so was the second. But on the third or fourth trip to Goodwill, we began asking ourselves some pretty hard questions such as, “If we didn’t really need this thing in the first place, what was our ulterior motive for purchasing it?”
2. Values. Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of everything that distracts us from it. To accomplish this journey successfully and intentionality, we were forced early in the process to clearly identify and articulate our most important values and pursuits.
3. Contribution. As we chose to no longer live as consumers, we had to identify what other contributions we would be able to offer this world.
4. Interests. Jules Renard once said, “Being bored is an insult to oneself.” With fewer possessions in my life, I have had fewer places to find cheap entertainment (and consumption). I have learned to engage my mind and creativity in other areas. As a result, boredom is a word that has been removed from my vocabulary.
Done correctly, minimalism is far more than just an outward journey focused on possessions. It is also the ultimate journey inward resulting in valuable self-exploration and self-discovery. And when everything is taken away, we begin to see who we truly are.
Thank you, Gracia, for sharing your story with me/us.
Photo Credit: Oscar E.
I think that I could use a re-edit on the preceding comment. I typed it out pretty fast after I read your article.
Wow… stories like these are a whole different order of magnitude than most of ours. It’s super sad that her husband died!
I have a rather tame and pleasant minimalism story, but once I pared down my life to a manageable amount of things I was completely lost about what I wanted to do with my time! It’s hard sometimes to figure out what I want to fill my day with, but a few insights are starting to emerge and that’s exciting because they are insights into who I really am (rather than someone who amuses herself with TV and sugar).
I lost everything through ill health and divorce. My home, my job, contact with ,my children, my sanity, most of my pension and savings. Several years on, and having regained a strong bond with my daughters, I decided to sell my car and replace it with a bicycle . This was one of the best decisions in my continued ( and now chosen ) path to true minimalism.
I have also gone through the goodwill drop offs and re-evaluated motives (about 2 yrs ago). However, I find because I am more discerning about purchases and items that enter our home, it is more disappointing when something doesn’t work the way I intend and ultimately have to let it go. Example : the counter filing box: to help with paper pile up and keep organize….. Big fail. This is my next hurdle deciding to purchase quality vs aesthetic vs function. Do all three need to be present and how to be okay with accepting the time vs money factor involved In procuring items. ( as in I can spend just as much time researching one item then to have bought a few of that item that are par). Just my inner ramblings.
Of course,but having been raised poor and not having much, and watching people who “had it all “,my most extreme desire was to buy things that I could not afford previously. I actually belived that having material possessions bring about happiness.Well, I now know better! You can never have enough possessions! More is always required. I am now a student of Buddhism and now see the folly in which I sought.
Trane
“With fewer possessions in my life, I have had fewer places to find cheap entertainment (and consumption). I have learned to engage my mind and creativity in other areas.”
Once I stopped shopping as a leisure-time activity, I got into digital photography. Now I can get out of the house, explore new places, and come home with something new that cost almost nothing and takes up no space.
I’d be interested to hear what you, Joshua, or others engage your minds and creativity with.
Hi Joshua,
your point about your trips to Goodwill to dispose of your stuff and then asking yourself why you bothered to accumulate all that stuff in the first place resonated with me.
I did exactly the same thing. I sold my stuff on eBay, took the remainder to the charity bin and the bulky refuse dump. I’ve now gone off travelling with just 30 kilos of possessions – everything I have in the world.
And you know what? I don’t miss any of that stuff I used to have. On the contrary, it feels like a relief and a great weight off my back not to have any of it.
I’ve done long term travelling before, but the last time I made the mistake of putting a load of residual possessions in storage. Not any more. I’ve learned my lesson. No need for it. I don’t need “stuff” anymore in my life. I have practically everything I need in my 30 kilos of travel baggage.
This post just touched me so deeply. After having a day full of good and bad surprises and reading just the title, I felt like you are talking to me personally. Just today I have been thinking so much how we have to choose not only what possessions we have but how we value our time and with whom we spend it.
Thanks for sharing, Joshua! I appreciate your insights and blog as such!
Thank you for sharing that story. The unfathomable is only unfathomable until an individual actually experiences it. I know from experience that unfathomable things can happen and it causes a conflict beween the pull to reduce the “things” in my home and the pull to be careful and frugal and hold on to “things” in case they are needed someday. Did or do you experience a similar struggle?