“There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself.” – Henry David Thoreau
Net-worth: Your assets minus your debts.
Self-worth: The quality of being worthy of esteem or respect.
As humans, it is in our nature to compare ourselves to others. Unfortunately, because we can only compare the things that we can objectively measure, we live in a world that is great at measuring and comparing externals. Somewhere along the way, we decided that we could determine who is living a more valuable life by comparing their clothes, cars, homes, and paychecks.
Simply put, we tied self-worth to net-worth. As a painful result, we began to make judgements about our own life value by the possessions that we own. But, in reality, our life is far more valuable than the things that we own.
The wages that we earn provide for our lives, but they do not define our lives. (tweet that)
Fortunately, when we change our thinking on this matter, we are freed to pursue a life worthy of esteem and respect that is not tied to our possessions. Consider these 8 steps to improve your self-worth regardless of your net-worth.
1. Live a life of integrity and character. There is no greater feeling than laying your head on your pillow at night having no regrets in your dealings with others. Consider the immeasurable value that comes from looking back over your entire life and seeing the same thing.
2. Cultivate worthy endeavors that are available in infinite supply. There is no limit to the amount of love you can show, the amount of hope you can spread, or the number of encouraging words you can speak. Cultivate these things in liberal supply. They will cost you nothing, but will begin to mean everything.
3. Delight in your uniqueness. The fact that you are different from everybody else makes you valuable. Be comfortable with yourself and proud of yourself. Don’t suppress it or hide it. Instead, do the opposite: Champion your uniqueness.
4. Give away your most valuable resource. The most precious resource we own is our time. Therefore, the most precious thing that we can ever give to another person is our time. Make a habit of giving it away to others.
5. Live courageously. Find the mental strength to accept new challenges without regards to the fear that may lie beneath. Live with great expectations about what your life can become and accomplish.
6. Develop self-confidence. A confident person feels better about themselves, stands up taller, and smiles more. A confident person does not follow the crowd or try to become someone else. A confident person focuses on their achievements and anticipates their next opportunity in life with excitement. And if you’re struggling with this now, there’s always time to learn how to be more confident.
7. Embrace your weaknesses. There are no perfect people in this world. We all have struggles and weaknesses. I have found that one of the best ways to identify with others is in our weakness. When we admit that we need help, we are finally ready to interact with others on a truly valuable level.
8. Make the most of every opportunity. Each new day brings with it new opportunities. Don’t waste a single one. Do everything you do with quality and excellence.
Your true self-worth is up to you. Increase it. Don’t allow your life’s pursuit to be caught up in the acquisition of material things – that makes for a nice net-worth, but not necessarily a high self-worth. And self-worth trumps net-worth any day.
David says
Very idealistic but very impractical. Such things don’t pay the bills. A man is of little worth if he can’t support his family.
joshua becker says
You understood this article to mean a man shouldn’t support his family?
Doug says
WSJ warrior…? Do you write your own bio
joshua becker says
Thanks for the question. I don’t understand it. WSJ warrior?
Eddie says
Great read & insights Josh…appreciate every post. (apparently, a couple of commenters need to read it again!)
Miles says
Good stuff thanks.
Roxanne says
Very encouraging!
Heidi says
I left my partner a little less than to years ago. Everyone, and I mean everyone was telling me that I would have to work and put my kids in daycare and give up ‘raising them’ in order to provide for them. I do continue to fight the stereotype of a single mom everyday but I never gave in to that thinking. My time is valuable, the most precious thing I have to give and I choose to give as much of it as I can to my young children who need it the most right now. I work at a job that provides me with what we need to live and gives me the flexibility to take time to spend with my kids, holidays etc. I have to say no to a lot of ‘money laden outings’ with friends and their kids but when I make alternate suggestions that cost us no more than groceries, they always appreciate it and we have more time to actually talk and be with one another and our children. Not to say there aren’t things I wish I could do but that will come in time. My priority is and always will me the time I can spend with my children, time not the money!
Great article, it’s nice to find others who don’t think my way of thinking is crazy!
Liberty says
Kudos to you, Heidi! As a fellow single mom, I can say with enthusiasm that your time with your children will be their most treasured memories (and yours)! I, too, teach my children frugality doesn’t mean lack, it merely means more variety of choices in life.
crystal says
9. Be grateful for what you have. This might seem obvious, but acknowledging your current provisions, good health, relationships, a place to sleep, fresh air, food in the cupboard etc makes a difference to self worth.
Blaise says
Yes! Thank you Joshua and excellent addition, Crystal!
A.L.T. says
You inspire me every day.
Thank you.
Miss A says
I am ‘championing my uniqueness’ right now and delighting in the next stages of my life. Since finding your blog early this year (and reading Marie Kondo’s book), I have released about 75% of my ‘hoarding’ (for that is the best way to describe the sheer volume of ‘stuff’ I had accumulated over 20+ years …. including my father & grandmothers things). I got rid of over 1,000 books alone! Most items were sold, and the money given to family members – they in turn were able to fix cars (three in fact!), buy friends lunch (which gave one family member a lovely experience to remember as they can’t usually afford frivolous things like that), and also paid for other experiences. I am still working on the 25% … and am getting there finally! I’m also just about to start my own business – doing something I truly love. I’m finally going to finish writing my book as I now have a clear headspace, physical space and more time. Thank you for all your brilliant posts, and constant Facebook feed – this is one important thing that helps keep me motivated on a daily basis.
Bonni says
Well said. I agree. I have begun giving people ‘memories’ for Christmas. Last Christmas I gave my son and his little family a ‘promissory note’ of sorts, namely a family pass to the Ripley’s Aquarium in Toronto. They redeemed the voucher a few weeks ago and spent a wonderful afternoon learning and exploring. I dare you to ask my four year old grand daughter anything about jellyfish and sea turtles. They were her favourite. There is nothing that retains information like the mind of a child.
SUSAN DYE HILL says
I stopped Christmas giving years ago. Instead, on each grandchild’s birthday, I take him out for the day: whatever he wants to eat, whatever he wants to do. They don’t seem to miss the Christmas gifts.
Atilio says
“Embrace your weaknesses” thank you for this concept. I never came accross it before you posted it. It changed my life.
Lori says
Thanks for another good word. Love your blog. Always encouraging.
Cory Cook says
Great article Joshua,
I especially like number 4. It is funny because I assume that is why that popular quote, “Time is Money” came about.
Enjoyed reading it, really nice tips for self improvement!
Best regards,
Cory
ed morgan says
AMEN!!! to the eight points of why self worth is infinitely more valuable than net worth Especially when we apply biblical text to the eight points…..such as,
1. Integrity.. Proverbs 20:7 The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them.
2. Worth Endeavors…Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, think on these things.
3. Uniqueness… Romans 12:1-21 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, [which is] your reasonable service.
4. Give Away Your Most Valuable Resource…Proverbs 11:24 One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want.
5. Live Courageously….Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
6. Develop Self-confidence…Joshua 1:9 Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God [is] with thee whithersoever thou goest.
7. Embrace your weaknesses…2 Cor. 12:9-10 My Grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak then am I strong.
8. Make the most of every opportunity…Ephesians 5:16 These are evil times, so make every minute count.
Anne Daniel says
The Biblical principles behind Joshua Becker’s writing is what keeps me reading. Reminders of what we find in God’s Word. Thank you for matching up today’s writing to chap and verse. I found this very helpful.
Emma Butler says
Wow this was a great read. The word of God is awesome!