“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.” —Jim Carrey
Our world applauds success. And well it should. It is entirely appropriate to champion those who develop their talents, work hard, and overcome obstacles. There are many successful people I admire in my own life.
But our world is also fixated on praising excess. We are not the first society to worship conspicuous consumption, but we do continue the practice.
Magazines overexpose the details of the rich and famous. News publications rank those with the greatest net worth. Reality television applauds the lifestyle of those who live in luxury. And the Internet attracts readers with countless stories about them.
Even in our own lives, we do the same. We comment on the size of the houses in the neighborhood down the street. We point out the luxury car in the lane next to us. We envy fashionable clothes and designer handbags.
We desire to live the life of those who seem to have it all. In our hearts and in our affections, we praise those who live with excess.
But we are making a big mistake.
Success and excess are not the same.
7 Reasons Why We Should Stop Praising Excess.
1. Excess is often arbitrary. Sometimes, financial gain is achieved through hard work, dedication, and devoted discipline. But not always. Often times, wealth is only a result of heritage, dishonesty, or just plain luck. In those cases, no praise has been earned. And telling the difference is often more difficult than we realize.
2. Excess is rarely the wisest use of our money. Harvey Mackay once said, “If you can afford a fancy car, you can make more of an impact driving an ordinary one.” His statement is true. There are better things to do with our money than spend it on ourselves. This advice stands as wisdom when purchasing cars, houses, clothes, or technology. Just because you have the financial resources to afford excess, that does not mean it is the best option for your life. We should stop praising those who use it exclusively to that end.
3. Excess adds stress and anxiety to our lives. Not only is there a greater good that could be accomplished with our money, but increased possessions add burden and weight to our lives. Every increased possession adds increased worry. It becomes one more thing to manage, store, repair, and remove. Adding extra burden to our already short lives seems like a foolish thing to admire.
4. Excess is harming the environment around us. It is difficult to ignore the impact our praise of excess has meant on the earth. Perhaps Gandhi said it best, “The world has enough for everyone’s need, but not enough for everyone’s greed.” Holding up those who flaunt their excess as an example to follow is hardly a wise decision for anyone’s future.
5. Excess causes us to praise the wrong things. Our world keeps checking the wrong scoreboard. Those who live in excess are not necessarily the ones who live the most fulfilled lives. Often times, it is those who live quietly, humbly, and in the service of others who are the happiest. Those are the choices we should be praising and those are the lives we should be emulating.
6. Excess causes us to lose sight of the things we already have. It is impossible to find peace, gratitude, and contentment while holding on to envy of those who have more. Unfortunately, we do it all the time. Admiration is a healthy emotion, but envy is not. And choosing to exalt those who flaunt their excess results only in greater discontent.
7. Excess is not the answer. Everyone is looking for answers to the most important questions we are asking: What is the purpose of this life? Where can I find fulfillment? And what does it mean to live an abundant life? These are difficult questions with difficult answers. But surely, “owning as much stuff as possible” is not the answer to any of them. There are greater pursuits available to us than excess. But they can be difficult to discover when all our energies are being directed at the wrong things.
Admire success. But do not praise excess. Our society is longing for people who can tell the difference. (tweet that)
William says
Joshua, you do a great job! It is a privilege to write for the first time after years or reading you, Courtney, and Leo.
I have a modest contribution…
In the post, you wrote “Excess is often arbitrary. Sometimes, financial gain is achieved through hard work, dedication, and devoted discipline. But not always. Often times, wealth is only a result of heritage, dishonesty, or just plain luck.”
Heritage IS often the result of hard work, intelligence, sacrifice, and dedication to a goal of raising your economic power and the family tree to a new level — it does not belong in the same breath as dishonesty and luck. This said, the good experiences and chance to do real GOOD in the world should not be squandered on conspicuous consumption. This consumption should certainly not be praised. On the flip side, it is heartwarming, charming and good when a person driving that small, ten-year-old, well-maintained, clean beige sedan gives money to build a new hospital wing. It happens.
I would replace “heritage” with the more statistically accurate model, DEBT. How many beautiful new SUV’s do you see at the stoplight that are purchased with onerous, excessive…debt? Fifty percent would be a conservative estimate. Conspicuous consumption exhibited beyond means — goodness gracious, we CANNOT, should not praise this.
Keep writing — you are doing great good.
joshua becker says
William, it is a pleasure to have you comment. Thank you for your contribution to the conversation.
When I chose the word “heritage,” I was thinking specifically of individuals who live an excessive lifestyle but did not earn the money on their own. It was not meant to demean the work of their parents or grandparents who may have passed the finances on to them. It was meant to indicate, in these specific examples, that the individual living in excess had little to do with their financial standing.
William says
Good clarification — you perfectly got my meaning, thank you. And, I agree with your full message. It is hard for many of us to observe a unappreciative, child-minded person squander the proceeds of their heritage, be it wealth, voice, or athleticism. However you see it god, the economic system, society, and family allow you the power of wealth and abilities to mange responsibly for a greater good, not your own conspicuous consumption. Thank you again for this nice chance to write.
Judy Sprinkle says
Rarely do I so thoroughly read or enjoy a blog conversation as much as this. It caught my eye because my daughter has been practicing a minimalist lifestyle with her family for several years now. She’s always encouraging me to let go of ‘things’. My situation isn’t unique, I’m sure, but I haven’t seen anyone mention the things that are inherited (as opposed to money). We’ve lost 3 parents and 3 other relatives within a decade and each had belongings that had no where else to go. The majority of their belongings were either sold or donated. However, those special items that hold memories ended up with me. Our home is small and I now find myself moving things from one area to the next, trying to regain some semblance of space and peace. Slowly, the items are leaving our nest. It’s been quite an arduous process of securing, maintaining and then releasing these things that were special to loved ones, and also to myself. With my father’s recent passing, it has indeed become more burdensome. Your comment on how ‘stuff’ can add stress and anxiety to one’s life has become a reality for me. I’m thinking that I must put things in perspective and know that it’s OK to choose my own peace and simplicity over items that represent memories for myself or someone else special. This was a great article for me to read, along with everyone’s comments, to remind me that it’s all about the choices we make. thank you!!
Sarah says
Hi Judy,
I just read your reply and thought I’d comment. Is hard letting go of things when it feels like it’s letting go of a person. Have you tried taking photographs of treasured objects? I have taken to doing that with sentimental items as it’s usually all that’s needed to look at the photo if I’m feeling nostalgic and makes the decision to post with them much easier.
Sarah says
Part with them even.
Reney says
I pride myself in not having excess except in my bank account. I have never had debt and I work hard not to have it. I do enjoy some luxury items but none of them are purses or watches. They are in the form of living animals, two siamese cats. Expensive to obtain and maintain but their lives have value to me. Objects not so much. I also valued education so I spent my money on that. Most of what I value cannot be seen with the naked eye.
Sammie Barstow says
I so agree with everything Joshua says in this post. The culture of excess is rampant in America.
Phil Janecic says
I agree with your points, but I don’t think excess is as much of a problem as you think. It’s true that our society has a lot of things flipped upside down, but think about it – people are not looking up to people with the most money or possessions.
Kids want to be like their favorite actor or a celebrity more than like Bill Gates or Carlos Slim Helu. Even when Mac Miller talks about lavish lifestyle he references Donald Trump, who is only #408 on Forbes’ richest list, but he’s more in the spotlight than other people with much more excess.
I think the bigger problem is that younger generations define success in the wrong way – they want to copy the lifestyle of other people rather than do what works for them.
Tony Wideman says
I don’t see Bill or Carlos as being excessive. They are the richest but I do not recall any reports of excess. Bill gives large portions of his money away and Carlos does not flaunt the fact that he has more dinero than Bill. LOL
Trump is another matter and can be a perfect example of the worship of the excessive.
Kent Faver says
Headlines today – 1 in 3 Americans (1 in 3!) are being hounded by debt collectors. In my state of Texas – it is much worse. In McAllen, Texas, it is 51%.
BrownVagabonder says
I have been beating myself up over the past few months, as I am successful in my own mind (I have very few things, and I have been able to backpack through a bunch of countries because I am able to save up), but no one else around me seems to see it that way. They see that I do not have a car, I live with my parents, I have very few clothing and possessions, I don’t have an expensive purse and so on.
In the eyes of society, I am a failure, because I haven’t gone with excess. But in my eyes, I feel successful because I am living my life to the fullest, staying in the moment, and living with minimal harm to the environment.
Reading this post clarified that difference between success and excess for me. You don’t need excess to be successful (as in my case). I have to remember that next time someone tries to make me feel bad for not having something that everyone in my circle has.
LL in Prescott says
And you care about what those around you think of your lifestyle, why? We drive 15 year old cars. Paid cash for each of them. One was bought when it was 2 years old and the other when it was 15 years old. A conscious decision. The neighbors drive new cars, and have a low slung sports car or a golf cart in the 3rd stall. I doubt they give my cars a second look. You obviously are still young and that peer thing is still a part of your social life. The older you get, it simply doesn’t matter what someone thinks. It only matters if you are living the live you want.
Bettina says
Do not let anyone make you feel bad about the lifestyle you have chosen. You are happy, enjoing your life and not harming anyone – so go ahead and enjoy your life and don´t worry about other people´s opinion.
Ted says
The game is real and it comes with a cost for both parties (the perceived Haves and the perceived Have Nots.) Our society is designed to keep everyone wondering how they are being perceived. Nobody ever wins this game (the vagabond or the “Excessist”) as material things rule one’s life, and jealousy affects everyone. Unless you become a Nun and forfet your life, you will be subject to being judged for everything you do, or don’t do. Adults are just children who have learned to disquise their behavior, and learn how to get under someone’s skin in adult manners.
Judy says
Thank you Joshua for being here for us. Funny—I still “miss” the Victorian house (that I never had)! IF I had tons and tons of money…to be honest, I think I’d get a BIG old house. Just a dream of mine, that all. I guess like Rob who admits he wants a fancy convertible. I DO drive past old Victorians and say “Oh! Look at that!” But I’m smart enough to realize that behind those fancy doors can be a family in pain. I love history a lot and that is a part of it. Historical homes draw me in. But in my “real” world I appreciate my cozy home and I know I am blessed beyond measure. IF I had my dream house, I would not fill it up with clutter. I would keep it minimally decorated and just enjoy the space…and hallways…and staircases…and parlors…!!! Hey—one can still dream! :)
Jasmin says
I think this every time I look in my driveway. There was a better decision that could have been made. But with every bad choice there is an opportunity to learn from it so it hope to enjoy my quality item until the wheels fall off. This is a long and difficult process to becoming minimalist. I don’t know if other people will look at it as minimalist but we are minimizing. Selling off our vinyl records we don’t listen to anymore. Giving away clothes and trinkets lurking in boxes in the basement. It feels so good to get rid of these excess items that do not serve us a purpose
Rob Davis says
Must one be frugal and minimalist? For example, I have always loved a certain fancy convertible vehicle. If I can afford it and it doesn’t impact my lifestyle, is there a downside is obtaining it? Is it excessive or just an expression of my individuality?
joshua becker says
I do not think one needs to be frugal to be minimalist. The lifestyle principles can be related, but do not have to be. In fact, I think one of the greatest benefits of minimalism is the opportunity to own higher quality things—items that break less and last longer.
Pertaining to your specific question, there may not be a downside to obtaining it. But, there may be a greater good you could accomplish in the world if you bought something less expensive—a greater good that would actually result in longer lasting joy than a new car.
But I’m just trying to challenge assumptions and change the way we look at things.
joan says
I’m a frugal minimalist, a returned Peace Corps volunteer, worked w Red Cross in the war zone, spent much of my life overseas working in development, diplomacy and rights of girls and women. AND after a particularly tough assignment, I was back in USA for a couple of years. With great joy I bought and drove a used, classic MG midget soft top. Never regretted it!
Now retired, in my happy small green home, tankless water heater and less, with knees that would no longer let me easily fold into 3″ off the ground Midget, I’m so glad I bought and enjoyed it then.
CARPE DIEM !
Maureen says
Joan, I love your comment. I had a serious health issue when I was in my mid twenties, and I promised myself that when I could, I’d buy myself that little sports car I always dreamed of but never got. Well, 15 years later, I bought myself a red MG Midget, and loved having it for two years. Your comment made me chuckle because I totally understood. I don’t consider an MG Midget excess, but it was certainly a luxury, and I LOVED it.
Amy K. says
Aside from the issue of what other good you could be doing with the money spent on that convertible, it sounds to me like that convertible would bring you joy, not be a burden, and would not lose its appeal after a short time. To me, excess is stuff for the sake of stuff, or for the sake of appearances. If that convertible makes you happy, you should go for it!
Susan Schaefer says
Excess is if you bought more convertibles than you can ever drive. I love Jay Leno, but the number of cars he owns would be considered excessive. ;-) Buying ONE, not so much.
Stacy@AWellStockedLife says
Rob Davis–
Interestingly…my darling husband longed for a classic car–but I on the other hand have been a frugal person living voluntarily simple since we met and married (he won’t admit it but that was part of his attraction to me ;)– and I didn’t see the need for the car. I relented and he bought the dream car…and he is now selling the dream car–he didn’t find “any joy in it” (words out of his mouth). Luxury cars are expensive to maintain and insure and every time he drove it something happened that had to be fixed so it was perfect again… However, sometimes you have to live that lesson to learn it–hope if you do get that dream car you have a better time than we did.
Cheers,
Stacy
polly plum says
I agree!My husband and I have taught our kids not to waste, and they have to give at least 10% of their birthday money or allowances to’Tzedaka'( the Hebrew word for charity), But they can also indulge themselves once in a while in something ‘decadent’/not a necessity- for me its clothes, for my kids it might be a comic book, musicCD, etc
Karin Boehler says
Just the upkeep of it. And realizing that the car isn’t the source of your happiness. Actually, I have found that relationship with Christ is my source of happiness. I have learned to pray about a major purchase; and God does respond … usually through the scriptures … and then I feel more settled and assured about a decision. I find that I have to beat down lust (excess, wanting more than I need) with a stick … and that stick is prayer and the Word of God.
ruth says
I just saw an article in my local news about a woman in Texas who had a custom designed 3000 sq ft closet built. it had multi stories and one wall was built to showcase her purses. It turned my stomach to see it cause it came right after the news of the suffering in the Middle East.
Fiona Cee says
there is sadly MUCH obscene wealth excess and people who blatantly flaunt it.
There is enough for everyone’s need but NOT for everyone’s GREED!!!
sadly this does not appear to be true in many countries, but if some of the countries’ governments could spend on food rather than armaments, then surely everyone could eat, have clean water, get a basic education, etc.
I just don’t know what is going to happen to this planet.
Informed1 says
I can’t systematically dismiss this article. But … it should be noted that “Greed” does not necessarily exist in the heart of the possessor … it exists in the heart of the observer or the person coveting the possessions and money of another. As a direct result, Greed is NOT wanting to keep or utilize the fruits or your labors and it is NOT inherently sinful to want to keep what you have earned.
FAR too often people associate “Greed” with someone that they deem has “too much” money or stuff … when the reality is that it is that that individual has “more” stuff than the person coveting the “stuff” and thus they attempt to transfer their envy and lust for that stuff onto the individual. That transfer of emotion couldn’t be more backward if it tried … it is the person that is coveting or lusting after someone else’s money or possessions that is “Greed” … pure and simple.
This article is on the money about not valuing “excess” … but it incorrectly tied the emotion of “Greed” to those that have possessions. The author would be far better off telling people to be pure in their own heart and not try to “acquire” excess possessions as the crux of the article and not implying that somehow the people that already have things are somehow bad.
We need to stop demonizing the successful in this country.
Jo-Anne says
@ Informed1…well said…the distance between ‘the haves’ and ‘the have nots’ is in their minds, and their hearts, perception is reality.
The Gift is seeing past ALL the labels…
“Denial is a finger of blame pointing toward another.
Conflict is an expectation imposed onto another.
Frustration is the inability to control the will of another.
Sadness is a dependency on another.
Loneliness is waiting for another to arrive.
Solitude is freedom from needing another.
Harmony is embracing the uniqueness of another.
Grace is seeing there is no other.
Enlightenment is when the subjects of one and another disappear.
Love is what remains throughout it all.” ~ Matt Kahn
Tom says
This reply sounds like a defense from someone (Informed1) who has acquired (notice I did not say ‘earned’) excessive wealth. There is no way anyone can ‘earn’ billions of dollars. They acquire that much only because they do not distribute it equitably to those (employees, customers, shareholders) who helped them obtain those revenues. Someone can be successful without acquiring inappropriate amounts of wealth.
fly says
are you talking about the woman with the 500k closet? I just skimmed past an article about that. Although beautiful, it was excessive
ruth says
Yep, that’s the one. 500K to build and hold 2 million dollars worth of her stuff!
RenaudB says
Stole the idea from Sex and the City btw.
walter says
Looks like someone emptied the 3 story closet – just like this article said the more you have the more you have to worry about it being stole http://6abc.com/fashion/largest-closet-in-america-robbed-in-texas/235633/
Rhetta says
I saw the same article. I was sickened by the fact that she was so upset that her purses were stolen than by anything else.
Ethan Caine says
People have the freedom to do what they want with their money. Just because you think it’s wrong doesn’t aka it so. One day she will wake up and realize the error of her ways and go minimalist like us.