We live in a world filled with empty consumeristic promises.
- To get the girl, buy this cologne.
- To be the life of the party, get this television.
- To impress your friends, buy this watch.
- To turn heads, drive this car.
- To raise a better family, buy this bigger house.
These promises bombard our senses incessantly—even within the comforts of our home. And more than we realize, these messages begin to shape our conscious and subconscious thoughts.
As a result, too often, we buy stuff we don’t need. Our closets become crowded, our drawers overfill, our garages can’t fit our cars, and our homes fill with countless products we thought were a good idea at the time; but in reality, rarely get used.
Our lives soon become buried under everything we own.
To counter these empty promises, I want to offer a simple, life-transforming question—five simple words to ask before making any purchase.
The question is this: But what if I don’t?
Whenever you feel the pull of consumerism, simply ask yourself the shortened version of this thought, “What might I be able to do if I didn’t make this purchase?”
Every purchase contains an opportunity cost. The question, “But what if I don’t?”, forces us to recognize and articulate it.
For example:
If you don’t buy that large screen television, how much debt could you pay off?
If you don’t buy the bigger house, how much more money would you have to travel?
If you don’t go clothes-shopping today, how could you build up an emergency fund?
If you don’t make this purchase on Amazon, what good could you accomplish in the world with the money instead?
You know what you’ve been promised if you buy… but what if you don’t? How would your life improve if you said ‘no?’
With every purchase we make, we sacrifice a small amount of freedom. This one, simple question helps us recognize exactly what it is.
Aaron says
Another thought is that when we purchase things that we don’t need, we make someone else slightly richer and ourselves a bit more poorer! This is how the system is rigged! Resist it.
Aloha
Nikki T says
Spot on reply Aaron! It is a big wealth transfer that doesn’t work in our favor. It is also damaging to the environment. As Jerry Seinfeld says “all purchases are just future garbage,” and our homes are basically “garbage processing facilities” where we age our garbage. We make ourselves poorer, the rich richer and leave our legacy of trash.
Joyce says
Absolutely true! I’m poorer and someone else is richer.
Joyce Eveler says
Definitely!
Evelyn Gonzalez says
I’m glad I read the article because it only served to reinforce within the question I’s it a need or a want’?. I have continually been asking myself that each and every time I get the urge for a purchase..Needless to say I have walk out of the stores without the the merchandise…Reminders are always good food for the soul…
Carla says
I absolutely LOVE this question! The earth will certainly NOT shatter as a result of NOT making a purchase, and in all honesty, the Joneses aren’t paying attention to me anyway. Thank you for sharing this!
Cal says
I am from Nova Scotia but lived in Toronto for the past 20 years. During my stay in Toronto I managed to fill a 5 room apartment with things I just couldn’t live without. The death of a family member forced me to leave Toronto. All the beautiful things I owned in Toronto had to go. I couldn’t sell the items, I couldn’t even give them away to a shelter for battered women I approached. I looked at all these treasures I had accumulated like big screen TV’s, Art work, furniture, and enough dishes, pots and pans, to feed an army ( and I lived alone) and said, “Why do I need all this stuff?” So then I found a junk man to clean the apartment for me and gave him everything just for cleaning the place for me, and drove to Nova Scotia. I now live in a one room furnished bachelor suite with bath and pay 1/3 what I did in Toronto, and no longer have a desire to accumulate “STUFF” Whew! It sure feels great too.
beachmama says
What an amazing experience! We have very close friends who’s very wealthy mother died and left them her house filled with 85 years of “must haves”. She had beautiful antiques, fine imported costly Persian rugs, beautiful clothing, fine silk scarves (dozens), sculptures, books, 12 massive grandfather clocks, yep-12! The house is nearly 4,000 square feet of stuff they couldn’t give away. They brought much of it to their 700 square foot house and it weighed them down emotionally so much that after a year got rid of it all. The antique stores said people just don’t have an interest in old things/antiques anymore . . . people are scaling down.
Good for you to ‘bite the bullet’ and get it cleared out in one fell swoop. Moving from our 2,600 square foot house into one half the size several years ago was excruciating . . . we fought, I got depressed, it was awful. I never want to go through that again. Thanks for the reminder of how living with less “feels great”.
Kathy says
My husband and I are doing that right now. Just sold our house and my husband and I are at such different places. I want to be free of stuff but he struggles so much more. He just cannot part with things. What to do is the question. It is very depressing.
linda says
I struggle with not having hubby on board too… I decided I can only change ME so I’m focusing on what he cares nothing about such as craft supplies, fabric, my collections… I found that saying HE had a problem I didn’t have to look at my own. The more I am dealing with mine the less important his stuff looks. It will take a lot of time to just deal with my own and maybe by then he will be on board too.
Frank says
Serious question. Im going on a 2 week hike in a rainy part of Europe. My current raincoat is falling apart and doesnt breathe.
Should I use it for this trip or spend the $149 on a new raincoat that is made of Goretex and will breathe.
I am really on the fence. Of course the new one will work better, but should I just “suck it up” and make due with the old one?
Mary says
Replace the raincoat. Your old one does not function.
Frank says
Thanks for answering Mary. You make me sound reasonable regarding this purchase.
Scott says
One thing I would add – make sure to throw the old coat out (or get it to a new home if it’s all usable). I can’t believe how many items I got rid of during my decluttering process that were things I was keeping as a spare, or “just in case.” Now, if I replace an item, I make sure the old one leaves the house!
beachmama says
I have far too many coats, jackets, backpacks and rain gear than one person could ever use. Your gear dilemma sounds reasonable to me. Your current raincoat is falling apart and no longer serves you well. You’ve obviously gotten a lot of wear out of it. When it comes to activities that I do on a regular basis I like to have gear that keeps me warm, dry and comfortable. I also have an arborist friend who purposely goes on outdoor adventures with no tent (just a tarp), no sleeping bag (just a blanket) and no warm clothing. He does this on a regular basis and he says that although he’s uncomfortable at times he feels great having gotten through the experience and not quitting. He’s also half my age so we’ll see if this continues through to his 60’s ; )
I recently posted an article on my Facebook page from Environment 360 about our “throwaway clothing culture”. It’s really had me rethink clothing and I’m looking at my closet and purchases in a whole new way.
Have a fabulous trip!
Frank says
Thanks for responding Beach Mama.
You make me feel ok replacing the old one.
Thank you.
Steven says
Frank,
We’re also looking at a health issue here. Investing money in protective clothing is a good investment.
Enjoy your trip and stay safe.
Brian McCorry says
Great message, one well worth heeding!
David Stucker says
“What’s REALLY going to improve?” The new TV doesn’t mean I have any time to watch it. Better football viewing? You don’t have Sunday off yet anyway. New running shoes? Two pair with less than 200 miles apiece in the corner. Yes, I know they’re on sale. Save $35? Your still spending $65 on a dodgy purpose anyway.
This is the sense I’ve been developing through your insight like that in this article. Asking the important questions and being able to provide less emotional counterpoints to my own desires for more is saving me! Thanks!
Pauline Eade says
And a bigger TV doesn’t give you better programs!!
Connie says
It’s always easier to acquire an item than it is to dispose of it. This a great question to stop the inflow of items into our lives.
beachmama says
I love what you said, “It’s always easier to acquire an item than it is to dispose of it.” Just remembering that will have me stop and think . . . thank you.
JC says
“How many hours would I have to work in order to pay for this?”
This is one of the gems I came away with after reading Your Money or Your Life. It really puts into perspective when you think about how you’d have to work an extra 10 hours to pay for that nice bag. Cumulatively, it could lead to leaving to the job you can’t stand for something that pays less but is more enjoyable.
Not buying that item actually buys you something way more valuable: Freedom
Carol C says
I love this question. I went through a version of it yesterday as I searched online for the perfect quilt backing for a new project. After spending far too many hours looking, I decided to go with fabric I already own. Not as wonderful, perhaps, but it certainly will work and I’ll save a chunk of money.
beachmama says
Fabric is my nemesis Carol . . . I love fabric and although I sew I have far more fabric than I need. I just donated a car load of fabric that no longer appealed to me. That just had me realize that I’m actually hoarding fabric . . . I love that you used what you had on hand. It’s actually much more creative and artistic in my mind. Thanks for the ‘wake up’ ; )