“The potential possibilities of any child are the most intriguing and stimulating in all creation.” —Ray L. Wilbur
Toys are not merely playthings. Toys form the building blocks for our child’s future. They teach our children about the world and about themselves. They send messages and communicate values. And thus, wise parents think about what foundation is being laid by the toys that are given to their kids.
Wise parents also think about the number of toys that children are given. While most toy rooms and bedrooms today are filled to the ceiling with toys, intentional parents learn to limit the number of toys that kids have to play with.
They understand that fewer toys and practicing a minimalist approach will actually benefit their children in the long-term:
1. Kids learn to be more creative. Too many toys prevent kids from fully developing their gift of imagination. Two German public health workers (Strick and Schubert) conducted an experiment in which they convinced a kindergarten classroom to remove all of their toys for three months. Although boredom set in during the initial stages of the experiment, the children soon began to use their basic surroundings to invent games and use imagination in their playing.
2. Kids develop longer attention spans. When too many toys are introduced into a child’s life, their attention span will begin to suffer. A child will rarely learn to fully appreciate the toy in front of them when there are countless options still remaining on the shelf behind them.
3. Kids establish better social skills. Children with fewer toys learn how to develop interpersonal relationships with other kids and adults. They learn the give and take of a good conversation. And studies have attributed childhood friendships to a greater chance of success academically and in social situations during adulthood. Better relationships as a child also tend to lead happier lives in adulthood.
4. Kids learn to take greater care of things. When kids have too many toys, they will naturally take less care of them. They will not learn to value them if there is always a replacement ready at hand. If you have a child who is constantly damaging their toys, just take a bunch away. He will quickly learn.
5. Kids develop a greater love for reading, writing, and art. Fewer toys allows your children to love books, music, coloring, and painting. And a love for art will help them better appreciate beauty, emotion, and communication in their world. It’ll also keep them away from getting used to an unhealthy amount of screen time.
6. Kids become more resourceful. In education, students aren’t just given the answer to a problem; they are given the tools to find the answer. In entertainment and play, the same principle can be applied. Fewer toys causes children to become resourceful by solving problems with only the materials at hand. And resourcefulness is a gift with unlimited potential.
7. Kids argue with each other less. This may seem counter-intuitive. Many parents believe that more toys will result in less fighting because there are more options available. However, the opposite is true far too often. Siblings argue about toys. And every time we introduce a new toy into the relationship, we give them another reason to establish their “territory” among the others. On the other hand, siblings with fewer toys are forced to share, collaborate, and work together.
8. Kids learn perseverance. Children who have too many toys give up too quickly. If they have a toy that they can’t figure out, it will quickly be discarded for the sake of a different, easier one. Kids with fewer toys learn perseverance, patience, and determination.
9. Kids become less selfish. Kids who get everything they want believe they can have everything they want. This attitude will quickly lead to an unhealthy (and unbecoming) lifestyle.
10. Kids experience more of nature. Children who do not have a basement full of toys are more apt to play outside and develop a deep appreciation for nature. They are also more likely to be involved in physical exercise which results in healthier and happier bodies.
11. Kids learn to find satisfaction outside of the toy store. True joy and contentment will never be found in the aisles of a toy store. Kids who have been raised to think the answer to their desires can be bought with money have believed the same lie as their parents. Instead, children need encouragement to live counter-cultural lives finding joy in things that truly last.
12. Kids live in a cleaner, tidier home. If you have children, you know that toy clutter can quickly take over an entire home. Fewer toys results in a less-cluttered, cleaner, healthier home.
I’m not anti-toy. I’m just pro-child. So do your child a favor today and limit their number of toys. (Just don’t tell them you got the idea from me.)
If you’re looking for a little extra help in this area, check out my book: Clutterfree with Kids and this article on our most creative decluttering tips.
Angelina says
I am overwelmed when i think of getting rid of toys i feel that i am being impolite to those who gave them to my son but oh my we are over run with toys and we just had another little one who will want toys of his own, help me.
Patti says
So how, how, HOW do you convince grandparents, aunts and uncles to stop buying so much??? We buy toys at birthdays and Christmas, yes, but we put a lot of thought into each purchase and try to make it something that really fits our daughters’ personalities and abilities, and will be used for hopefully a long time. We also love to buy art supplies and other items that aren’t really “toys” with one main objective. But our girls are the only grandkids on both sides, so all the relatives plow them with WAY too many things despite our pleas to limit the madness. How do we get this to stop? Our house really is being taken over by toys. We spend more time organizing toys than anything else.
Nicki Savantes says
I second this! The only point I got going over Patti is that my son takes care of his own toys and will clean them away and put them in his room whenever we ask him to. Apart from that our boy is the only grandchild on both sides too, and to top it off the neighbours in our street are all elderly people with either no grandchildren or no male grandchildren, who insist on giving him birthday and Xmass and whatever-excuse-will-do-the-job presents. So my kid is getting untold amounts of overly bright and shiny battery operated plastic rubbish with hundreds of noisy buttons to push, and he – being not even 4 and a child of his age apparently – prefers those toys over the sensible building blocks or the sturdy wooden ones I get him…
I almost got physically sick considering the piles of toys he got last Xmas, when he turned 3 (yeah, birthday and Xmas combined didn’t help!). There must have been more than 30 toy items, and he was running madly from one to the other, not playing even 60 seconds with any one of them.
My minimalist side is definitely losing out against the grandparental spoiling, and my son has resolutely taken sides with the “more is better” clan.
I try to contain the damage, like he will only get a new car if he bundles up 5 to give away, but on the whole the policy is only being enforced by me, and I feel I’m losing the battle (Mmm, think I need to talk this over with my hubbie and arrive at least at a common strategy between us…)
My plan for the upcoming Xmas is to leave all the gifts except 2 wrapped – because I won’t be able to stem the incoming tide of presents whatever I do – , and from then on open 1 or 2 gifts a month, on condition that at least as many old toys go out…
Congratulations on all you aspiring and actual minimalists who are actually pulling this off! I’m still struggling…
Patti says
I guess you read from my comment about having to reorganize toys that my child does not pick up after herself. On the contrary, she’s responsible for picking up her toys and plenty of other chores. What I meant was that, once every few months, we actually have to move boxes of toys out to the garage and bring another batch in. I can’t see her doing that on her own! Her closet only holds so much. We are even using closet space in our extra room but it’s still not enough.
I think I finally convinced my mom and sister to scale back when I pointed out that out my grandparents only bought one present for each of us on birthdays and Christmas, and that just because THEY can afford to buy out the toy store (they can’t, but act like they can), that doesn’t mean the children need all that stuff. Between that and them finally actually seeing the amount of toys that fill our garage — and are rarely if ever played with — they seem to have gotten the message. Too little too late.
Jacquelyn says
I love your perspective!! I’ve always felt a tiny bit guilty for the enforced limit I’ve put on toys in my house but I’ve seen many of the points you made first hand because of it. We moved three months ago and have about 4-5 boxes of toys that I’m never planning on unpacking. The kids haven’t asked for them. They don’t miss them and I want them to manage the toys that they DO have first. My oldest child could spend hours reading and my second born went through a whole sketch pad in a two week space of time.
Fats says
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Martha says
Love that TickleMe Plant!
Tickling a plant and watching it move can be more fun then any toy. We grew our first TickleMe Plant and my children were amazed and excited when it grew leaves that moved like crazy when Tickled! Growing a TickleMe Plant is a great way to excited kids about gardening and nature. Just search TickleMe Plant to order the kit to grow it.
See the video and pass it on if you know anyone that is a plant love and or has kids.
Marilia says
Recently I have paired down my daughter toys. 6 bags went out and I can see how she enjoys more her time with her favorite toys and she knows where everything is. She is only 3 year´s old and was full of stuff already. I keep taking little things out of our way. It´s great!
Glenn says
Interesting post, and I like your site overall, as it deals with a family trying to live a more minimalistic life, which is a challenge. Our daughter is 7 and, despite our best efforts, her toy collection keeps growing. At times, she says she doesn’t know what to play with! We keep her b-day party list to only a few friends, and I still cringe when I think of the additional stuff, wrapping paper, and boxes we’ll have to deal with. We’ve secretly been culling her stuffed animal collection, and she has donated a few herself. When we drop stuff off at the local Goodwill store, I emphasize the dropping off part, and that we’re not there to pick-up new stuff, even if it’s a bargain. We also remind her that their are kids less fortunate, and would love to have any toy that she doesn’t really play with anymore. Sometimes she finds fun in the simplest of things—like an interestingly shaped stone—that we might paint a face on and play with. That makes me smile! She loves to read, paint, and make stuff, but she also reminds us about kids at school who seem to have everything, and live in larger houses…
Ahmed says
true i have a younger brother that could benefit from this!
Melissa Schmalenberger says
My rule of thumb when my kids were little was if it needed a battery they couldn’t have it. Now that my youngest is 10, that policy is out the window, but while they were young it worked wonders. I now have great well balanced kids who like to play sports, read and play musical instruments and most of all are creative!
Sarah says
Josh you are soooo right. We have done this from the beginning and our boys are 4 years and six years old now and all the benefits you list here we have. I will have to give the credit for this to my husband. It was his idea to limit the toys and chose the ones we bought very carefully and he helped me stick to it. We have legos, building blocks, misicellanous small toys, cars galore, ramps all things that build. I find it refreshing to see them given something from someone else and revel in it. The gratitude is wonderful.
I will add that periodically we sort through all the toys that are out and put about half of it away. Then we bring out toys we put away months earlier. Keeps the mix new and intersting. My husband even kept all the junk toys, you know the broken ones, and they love them!! They tear them apart and put the pieces togeter in new ways and just see maybe for the first time how something works.
Great post!!!
Tina says
What a great post! I agree with you and feel that, as parents, we should be very resourceful when choosing toys for our children. I like to feel confident that they’re age appropriate, developmentally stimulating, and mentally stimulating on some level. Fewer toys means more reading in our home.