Much of the busyness we face in life is a result of elevated self-importance. Not all, but much.
There is certainly a requirement that we face the trials in front of us, that we provide for our families, that we help others when possible, that we parent well, and that we make the most of our days. But often times, the pursuits we busy ourselves with go beyond those expectations of living life in an intentional way.
We pile expectations and responsibilities onto ourselves not because they are required of us, but because of elevated self-importance. We believe it is essential that we are involved, that our opinion is known, or that our response is heard before things happen.
So the items we add to our “must-do list” continue to increase:
We check our email several times each day because someone might be trying to reach us.
We attend meetings because the right decision might not be reached without us.
We accept work responsibilities because nobody else can do them as well as us.
We log into social media in case there is a conversation that needs our opinion.
We check news sites frequently because it is important that we know world events as soon as they happen.
We keep our phones near our fingertips all day long so we can respond immediately when someone wants to talk or text or Slack.
We take on new business ideas or side hustles because we believe our time and talents are worth more money than we currently receive.
We rush from place to place, meeting to meeting, and commitment to commitment because we’re needed.
Or so we think.
The truth is many of the things we think we have to do on a given day are only a result of elevated self-importance. The world would get along just fine without constant involvement in every detail.
Email doesn’t need to be checked all day… we don’t need to be reachable 24 hours/day… there are other people who can do the work you do… wise decisions can be reached without you… that organization can run just fine without your volunteer hours… and there are more important things in life than making another dollar.
Even worse, this combination of busyness and elevated self-importance begin to distract us from the most important things in life.
For example, there is nothing more important than your family.
But most of the time when busyness crowds our schedule, it is our family that pays the first and greatest price.
We skip the ballgame or recital because “I’m too busy at work.”
We don’t help out in the home because “I just need to finish this one project.”
We don’t fully engage with our spouse or children because “I’m just too exhausted.” And turn to our television or cell phone instead.
We begin to believe we are too important for trivial household chores like taking out the trash… cleaning the kitchen… or reading a bedtime story.
Your most important priority, the one place you are needed most, is often the first place to suffer when we believe we are more important than we actually are.
But every year, the holiday season provides us with new opportunity. During this heightened season of family and awareness, we can slow down and reset. We can choose to slow down, to embrace more opportunities to be with family, and straighten out our priorities once again.
This holiday season, remind yourself constantly, “There is nothing more important than my family.”
When you are tempted to check email in the evening, say to yourself, “There is nothing more important than my family.”
When you are tempted to work late, say to yourself, “There is nothing more important than my family.”
When you want to check your phone during the Christmas recital, say to yourself, “There is nothing more important than my family.”
When you begin to think you are too important for a relaxing Saturday morning with your kids, say to yourself, “There is nothing more important than my family.”
Your job is not more important than your family. Your paycheck is not more important than your family. Your social media account is not more important than your family.
You are important… to the people closest to you.
And if there was ever a season of the year to remember that fact, this is it.
Sharon says
This is great to hear more about families> and not taking it for granted.
Gerry Fitzsimmons says
An excellent perspective
My family is leaning on me to reduce my work load and they are right. I love working… however the input is not being realized in rewards and not taking money
Currently looking at adjusting my life priorities… wish me luck
Sibylle says
Just a few months ago we got a diagnosis that brought ‚nothing is more important than spending time with family‘ right into my face, because the time we have together might be shorter than expected.
„Family“ doesn‘t have to mean „people sharing DNA“ – even if you keep a safe distance from biological family (and I know firsthand that there might be good reasons to do so), maybe there is SOME relationship in your life more important than checking your mails for the eleventh time today. Maybe it‘s social family aka ‚(a) friend(s)‘ or a pet.
Obviously it‘s impossible to individually include the living situation of every person reading this into one article.