“Don’t think you’re on the right road just because it’s a well-beaten path.” – Author Unknown
I made a significant decision when I was young that I have never regretted. Simply put, I decided that I did not have to live my life like everyone else. I would live my own life. I would pursue things of lasting value rather than the newest fads of society chased by everyone else.
It sounds simple enough. Yet, countless multitudes will never make that decision.
Instead, they will succumb to the pressure to conform. They will live their life purchasing the trendiest products and fashion released to the masses – not because they actually need them, but just because their neighbors bought them. They will base many of their life decisions on the celebrity spokespersons’ pitch of the day. They will waste their energy trying to keep up with the Joneses.. all for the elusive purpose of conformity. And in exchange, they will lose their life and forfeit their soul.
Decide today to live your life. You do not need to live life like everyone else. Your life is far too valuable to be wasted on the life that everyone else is choosing.
Here are a few steps that I have found to be very helpful. Use them to get you started (or continue you along):
1. Celebrate your uniqueness. Your life was never meant to be lived like everyone else. You don’t look the same, you don’t sound the same, and your personality is special. Your deep-held values are unique. Even your laugh sets you apart. Throwing that away just for the sake of looking and living like everyone else is one of the cruelest things that you can ever do – it will always prevent you from fully living your life. Instead, champion the things that make you unique. Celebrate them.
2. Realize that most peoples’ lives are heading toward destruction. Just consider the latest statistics. For example: Last year, on average, Americans carried $8,100 in consumer credit (not mortgage debt) – that is $8,100 for every man, woman, and child in America. It’s no wonder 46% of Americans say they suffer from debt-related stress. And according to the American Medical Association, stress is a factor in more than 75% of sickness today. In addition, The Americans for Divorce Reform estimates that soon “50 percent of marriages will end in divorce if current trends continue.” One of the leading factors? You got it, financial problems.
3. Accept the truth that there is a better life out there. Reading through the statistics above, one can not help but say, “There must be something better out there.” There is and there always has been. Unfortunately, most people are so busy tripping over each other to purchase culture’s newest release that they miss out completely on the better life. Do not be fooled. The better life is not being mass-produced in a factory… you won’t find it on the shelves in a department store. It has never been found there. And never will be.
4. Identify your values and allow them to guide your life. Grab a piece of paper and pencil. Across the top write, “What I most want to accomplish in life.” Begin making a list. Post that list some where that you will notice it every single morning. Allow it to shape your life. Base your decisions about time, energy, and money on those values. Allow them to guide your life even when they take you down a narrower road than everyone else.
5. Find a mentor that you admire. Surely you are not alone in your desire to live a better, more fulfilling life. Others have traveled the same road prior to you. Seek them out because you will need to look hard for them – they are uncommon. Perhaps they are in your family, your organization, your spirituality, or on your library shelves. Whether in person or through their writings, soak up as much as you can from them. Learn from them and be inspired by them. Follow their life, not the masses.
6. Reflect, reflect, reflect. Regularly pull away to meditate, contemplate, and reflect. An unexamined life is not worth living because the pull to conform has always been too great. Our lives will always “drift” in the direction of conformity if we lose our directional bearings. Withdraw often. Review your list of values and reflect on the current trajectory of your life. Is it headed towards the end you desire… or just following the easy road of everyone else?
Your life is valuable. It is the greatest asset you own. It holds potential for great things. Don’t let it slip into mediocrity by choosing to live it just like everyone else. It is not a worthy trade.
Vincent - B-basic.com (from the Netherlands) says
Thank you for this post. I celebrate my uniqueness every single day.
That itself, is my inspiration!
Kind regards,
Vincent – writer of a dutch blog
joy with less says
Incredibly inspiring post! It has taken me a bit longer than everyone else to come to this awareness, but it’s never too late to start.
Marci@OvercomingBusy says
My husband and I have always tried to be out of the box thinkers. Our family and friends think we are a bit crazy because we don’t just float along with the same current as everyone else around us. Frankly, if we catch ourselves doing whatever everyone else is doing, its our sign to stop!!
Ahmad Fadli says
I got the quote of “You don’t have to live your life the way everyone else expect you to” from AONC:-)
Anyway, this post comes at the right time. As someone who considers himself minimalist, it is indeed challenging to be a minimalist.
I am a graduate who doesn’t own a car and no house mortgage yet. In my country, the norm is that once you graduate, get a car to mark your ‘arrival’.
Lucky thing I realised those are only external symbols of success. The actual meaning of success. I define it myself. Because I am the one who is living my own life.
Yes Joshua, my life is far too valuable to live it like everyone else.
Sara says
LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! What a great reminder. I think I am going to print this out and carry it with me for a while. Its a great reminder that we arent all the same and need not try. Thank you!
SimplyMe says
This is an inspiring post and I agree with all of your points. To live like everyone else seems like the easy way out if you ask me. “Go with the flow, stick with the norm, don’t rock the boat.” I think if most people stopped to reflect on your points they’d realize they’re not happy living like everyone else, yet a lot of people lack the courage to stray from trends and create their own reality. If they’d only just give it a try…
Ed Burns says
Great post! I can’t agree more. I quit my job last week to devote the rest of my life to freeing people from the bonds of debt. Like you said, debt destroys families and dreams. Thanks again for your inspiring words! Keep up the good work!
Linda says
Ed, have you heard of Dave Ramsey? He is awesome and so is his program.
Candice says
I have a quote that I found a while back that I have have saved to pretty much everything I own. Its on my desktop, my cell phone, my email, etc. The quote reads “You don’t have to live your life the way other people expect you to.”
It especially comes in handy on the days when I’m at work and start getting down on myself, such as when others are ordering food and I’ve packed, or when someone is able to take a vacation that I’m not. It’s a good reminder for me that I don’t have to do everything everyone else does, and that there are good and valid reasons why I’m doing things the way I’m doing them. I’m not eating out because I’m saving that money towards something (right now its paying off debt), or I’m not taking that vacation because I don’t want to put it on the credit card and be paying for it for 10+ years.
(Actually, now that I google it… the quote came from here: http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2009/09/you-dont-have-to-live-your-life-the-way-other-people-expect-you-to.html)
Maria says
I like this quote it is so true.
John McLachlan says
Thank you for this inspiring post which acts as a reminder for all of us about pursuing our lives in our own unique ways.
I’ve generally done this with my life, but there are still ares of it that I’ve not been very good at and I’ve succumbed to living in ways I don’t like. Self awareness is the key.
lonn says
Tried everything nothing works just a bunch of crap what are you selling?
Jan Ras says
Ionn, I myself have been on a journey, was no different for me, it usually starts with money – the information is only a tool and depending your “trade”, you’ll need to test the tools till you find the one that suits your “trade”
For me its paying attention to how relaxed and peaceful something makes me then I know it resonates with me and I’m in the right direction, for example when I do something I like, hours will pass before I even realise I haven’t taken a break and nor do I feel the urge to.
Stay inspired, you’re the only one who can figure it out. Trial and error, this might be a choice you needed to eliminate from the list.
Best Wishes
Linda M says
Jan Ras – nice thoughtful response.
Peace comes from the inside.
Pablo says
Great post. Greetings from South America!
I also think that Celebrate our uniqueness is very important. But sometimes we forget that, and choose (big mistake) to imitate others.
Bill ford says
I own a small business (bagel shop) in a college town and every fall I watch the juxtaposition of kids trying so hard to fit in and trying to be someone that stands out, usually based on worldly, fleeting smoke. I love to run and learn so much of God’s lessons running…I like to think about old trees and all they have seen and yet they have never moved and the world is constantly rushing around not seeing anything. Stop, breath, grow wild. Thanks for your insights.
Lesley-Anne says
Bill, your words are remarkable and really hit home with me. Thank you.