Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Erica Layne of The Life On Purpose Movement.
A few years ago, my mother-in-law gave us two giant boxes of photo albums from my husband’s childhood. We lived in a small place and I was admittedly less than eager to find somewhere to store two decades of school portraits, scouting badges, journals, and sports participation certificates. (Yep, she saved it all!)
But we found a place for the boxes, not just in the apartment we lived in then but the townhouse that came after that. Life felt too full at the time for us to devote the mental and emotional bandwidth to sorting through so much memorabilia.
When we moved again, though, I vowed as I lifted those boxes that it was time.
A couple of months ago, I sat on the carpet of my bedroom, the contents of those boxes fanned out around me. My husband and I spent hours squinting at pictures, deciding what to save and what to throw out—finally narrowing the collection down to a modest stack of photos and documents.
I had just hauled a huge bag out to the recycling bin when I came back inside and realized there was a third box. A smaller one, but still, a third box.
When You’re Just Plain Done
At the moment, my husband and I were out of reserves. We couldn’t make one more decision that night without tipping over the edge and into Crazyland.
So we put a pin in it.
For… at least a month.
That third box—pushed up against the wall of our bedroom—stared me down every time I woke up and every time I went to sleep. I just didn’t have it in me yet to crack it open.
I knew I needed to shake out my shoulders and take a rest before I tackled it again, and I was okay with that. But I remember a time earlier in my minimalism journey when I thought I wasn’t allowed to have slumps like this one—or when my decluttering slumps really set me back.
A reader named Amanda recently said this about her decluttering slumps:
“I have so much clutter that it gives me anxiety to start. Then when I do get started, I suddenly hit a brick wall, get anxiety AGAIN, and stop. Then I get discouraged and wait FOREVER to even try again. Can anyone else relate to this cycle?? You make good progress and then all your work goes down the drain and you’re back to square one. ?”
Amanda is definitely not alone in this. We all run out of steam sometime. But the difference between someone whose home never really changes and someone whose home does is that the second person takes the following steps, in one form or another:
5 Concrete Steps to Take When You Hit a Slump on Your Decluttering Journey
1. Believe that losing motivation doesn’t have to mean giving up.
Running out of steam doesn’t have to mean more than, well, you ran out of steam! But too often we fall into the trap of believing that it’s over, subscribing all too easily to thoughts like these:
- What was I thinking? I’ll never clear all of this clutter.
- Who do I think I am? I’ve always lived with clutter and always will.
- I knew I couldn’t do this—I never finish projects I start.
Think of it this way: Would you have this same reaction if you felt discouraged about your job for a week or two? Or if you felt some tension in one of your closest relationships or hit a tough season in parenting? Would you up and quit? Throw in the towel?
It’s okay to run out of energy sometimes; we all do. Accept it when it comes, and decide now to REST instead of quit.
2. Actively watch what you bring into your home.
While you rest, be sure to actively watch your consumption so that old habits don’t land you back at square one. Being vigilant about what comes into your home is how you make real strides, because in the end, it’s as much about what comes in as what goes out.
3. Celebrate all of your progress so far.
When I’d been married for about eight years—at about the time when an anniversary starts to feel like just another anniversary—a wise friend gave me the advice to celebrate every year. “You work hard for every year of your relationship. That hard work deserves to be celebrated.”
I think the same applies to our decluttering efforts. Don’t gloss over your small successes. Instead, mark them—celebrate them. Focus on how good it feels to live with less stuff, whether it’s as small as a pared-down spice cabinet or as big as an entire garage. Sink into that feeling of lightness and when you’re ready, use it propel you forward.
4. Come back to your why.
Why are you decluttering? Dig for your deepest answers—the answers that go beyond “Because my spouse wants me to” or “Because I think I should.”
Maybe it’s because you’re tired of spending so much precious time taking care of the things you own. Cleaning them, repairing them, moving them from room to room. Or maybe you’ve been feeling weighed down for several years now and you desperately want the feeling of emotional lightness that comes with clearing out the extras.
Whatever your why is, return to it. Journal about it, share it with a friend or family member, post about it on Instagram if that’s where you document your life. Bring it back to the front of your mind.
5. When you resume, be content with baby steps.
Almost daily I hear from people who express something very similar to what Amanda said above. It’s the anxiety that gets us.
If you pick your head up and look at how much stuff is around you, it’s so easy for that anxiety and a sense of hopelessness to creep in.
So friend, keep your head down. Believe that baby steps are enough. In fact, it’s baby steps—one after another—that will eventually get you where you want to be. But for now, declutter one corner at a time, celebrating every small win along the way.
When You’re Ready Again
A few days ago, I made eye contact (so to speak ;)) with that box in my room, and I knew I was ready to tackle it.
I opened it, pulled out a photo album, and started flipping through. To my surprise, I found that the album was only partially filled. I pulled out another album—and found the same thing.
Altogether, the six nearly-empty albums took me about 20 minutes to go through.
I was glad, as I carried the box downstairs, that I hadn’t wasted months or even years feeling overwhelmed by this particular box, which, as it turns out, took me so little time to sort through.
Sometimes a break (and under-active imagination) is exactly what we need.
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For more inspiration, check out Erica’s new book, The Minimalist Way: Minimalism Strategies to Declutter Your Life and Make Room for Joy. Available now. The book will help you discover the peace and joy of living with less.
Jan says
Loved this article. I spent two months going through (literally) several trunks full of albums containing 40 years of old photos. Shredded duplicates and kept only the best pictures representing decades of family memories. I had them all scanned and then made up hard cover photo books. There are several on line companies that specialize in this service. In the end, I got rid of 15 bins and two trunks and have condensed them down to one shelf of 2O books. It was hard work and time consuming but feels so good to know I will not burden my children with this task when I am gone.
Trisha N says
I’m currently struggling with useful duplicates. For example, my oldest child will graduate high school in 5 years. Normally I go by the 20/20 rule. If I can get it for under $20 in less than 20 miles, don’t save it at home. Just get it when I need it. However, with more expensive items such as nice plate sets, pots/pans, maybe even furniture, I’m having a difficult time deciding between donate or save for when the bird leaves the nest. How did others tackle items like these?
Judy says
I saved things for my daughter and when she got out on her own she was so appreciative! :)
KMH says
I have a similar situation. My husband and I have a closet where we save items for a particular person. We have silverware, pots and pans, and other such items.
With what we have saved, we did not assume but *directly asked them* if they would like the item saved for them. If they said yes, it was saved, if not, it was passed along.
The closet is *their* selected items, so I am not storing items long-term they would end up not even wanting. They also are aware of each item they chose to have saved for them.
I am strict with myself not to save something “just in case they will want it in the future”, as a convenient excuse not to donate it quite yet.
Judy Johnson says
That’s smart thinking! Then you know that you are only keeping what they want to use.
Paula says
My first year of “less” I chose a nice notebook to journal my ‘progress’. The challenge I found with decluttering is remembering the progress! We often do small projects like drawers or even shoes or clothes, and once they are done and the drawer closes we are short-memories! When I could still see the stuff I don’t control I would easily forget progress I could celebrate. do the journal served several purposes, reminder of accomplishments and gratitude for them! Also used it some for breaking down larger projects into smaller! Finally it also helped chronicle my time investment on helping my husband work on a house and building our barn. Paula
Niki says
These steps really guide me! It is very inspiring to me and easy to follow.
laura ann says
Sorting thru decades old photos after last parent died took all afternoon. Two siblings and their two kids each weren’t interested so I tossed all except best ones that fit in a plastic shoebox. Got rid of decades old high school annuals before that, gave one set to former classmate. Gotto move forward, other items purged got donated.
Diana Hilber says
All afternoon? I literally have thousands of photos. How does one even begin? It will take me months.
Linda Evans says
Been there. I started throwing out all photos with no people in, all photos where I couldn’t recognise the people and there were no labels. This is quite quick, and you can just do a small stack at a time. Only then do you have to start making decisions. I scanned the ones I wanted to keep into the computer, and arranged them into folders by topic. (Family 80-85, eg. or holiday on Isle of Man) Then I put these folders onto a thumb drive, and gave a copy to each child. Yes it took ages, but it’s DONE. And the kids won’t be landed with heaps of meaningless photos. Good luck
Jill says
This reminds me of the two boxes that my husband (at the time) and I moved twice… only to open them years after the second move to find that they both contained trash! Actual trash! LOL
Erica Layne says
Haha, this would have made an even MORE awesome intro & closer for this post!
Brittany says
Your posts always inspire me, Erica. Pace is so important on this journey of simplifying, and I appreciate the permission you give us to pause. There are never too many reminders to pause in a busy and rushed world. Thank you!
Erica Layne says
Thank YOU so much for your kind words, Brittany! It’s possible that I like giving permission to pause because *I* need it as much as anyone else. ;) Hope you have a great week!
Kim Domingue says
I wouldn’t have been an episode of “Hoarders” but I did have a Great Depression mentality. I definitely had a full house….and a full storage building in my backyard. My impetus to actively start decluttering was Hurricane Katrina which hit my state in 2005. So many people lost everything that they owned…..and I had so much that was not being used, that was being kept for ‘just in case’. My ‘just in case’ became a blessing….that’s how I chose to look at it instead of beating myself up over having too much stuff….for people who had been impacted by the storm. My daughter and I went through our two homes and filled up five pickup truck loads of furniture, small appliances, dishware, cookware, glassware, bedding, curtains, clothes, etc. A few months after we filled up two more truckloads. The decluttering moved along at a very slow but steady pace after that. Both of my children had to move back home briefly at different times which halted my progress for a while. Then my father-in-law died and my house had to absorb much of his household stuff until my husband could bear to part with some of it. And here I am, 14 years after Katrina, and I’m almost there! My message? Don’t give up. You had the impetus to start. Don’t become discouraged by setbacks. Give yourself grace, take a breather, start back again with something small….one drawer or shelf….celebrate each step forward whether it’s a leap or a baby step, be as discerning about what comes into your home as you are about what goes out and acknowledge that there is no time limit on decluttering…..it takes as long as it takes.
Erica Layne says
Loved hearing your story and the message you have to share from it, Kim! Thank you!
Laurie Barrera says
Years ago, I went through all of my photo albums and managed to fit my treasured pictures in a fancy shoe box sized container. I also store my pictures on a separate hard drive, and annually filter what I really would not look at again. I use a rainy afternoon to do this and listen to great music!
Vickie Tunstill says
Laurie, I love your method for cutting down on the number of photos you keep. This is a major obstacle to my decluttering process! I am writing your ideas down and will put them in practice myself. Thanks so much for sharing your comment.