I am thankful for social media. Because it exists, I am allowed to do the work I do. And I hope that I have been able to make a positive difference in your life through it.
But I think we all need to be reminded from time to time (myself included) that we’re not going to find our greatest mentors on social media.
In fact, when I look back on the people in my life who have made the biggest difference in my growth and development, social media influencers are nowhere near the top.
The men and women who have shaped me the most are the men and women I have chosen to spend time with in-real-life. My parents, my grandparents, the family who took me into their home during college, my first boss, my second boss, my friends… these are the people who have shaped me the most.
They knew me best… and I knew them best. And the relationships changed me.
We are interpersonal creatures and positive social relationships affect our physical, mental, and emotional health.
Now, this isn’t to discount the fact that we can learn many things from people we follow on social media and the Internet. Because of the people I follow, I have become a better writer, a better leader, a better influencer, more productive, and a better husband and father. All good things.
There is value in blogs, podcasts, social media, YouTube channels, books, music… There is a lot of information online that can and should benefit us. We live in wonderful times.
But the most significant transformations that have occurred in me were the result of the relationships I sought. I have been informed by social media, but I have been transformed by people I see on a recurring basis.
This is why personal relationships are so important. And why we are wise to invest time and energy in cultivating healthy ones.
Influencers on social media share only the parts of themselves they want to share. But close relationships in life allow us to see all sides of a person—the good and the bad. They allow us to see in real-time how someone responds to a trial, a temptation, or a sudden turn in life. There are less secrets to hide and more opportunities to learn.
Unlike following a personality or influencer online, relationships require give-and-take. They require us to show up even when we don’t want to, and they require us to face truths we might otherwise avoid.
And these real life interpersonal relationships provide significantly more support than our relationships on social media
They enhance our lives.
No doubt, many of you are nodding your head in agreement. You will attest that the most influential people in your life are those you know the best who have provided a positive example for you. If that’s the case, make sure you thank them.
If that’s not you, let me challenge you today to look around. Find somebody in your life that you know and admire and desire to emulate. Choose a family member, a co-worker, a member of your church or social club, and work to become a closer friend.
Or, find new places to look for positive mentors. It’s not easy work, but it’s important:
Do you like reading? Find a local book club.
Is faith important to you? Get involved and active.
Do you enjoy scrolling the feeds of your friends on social media? Text someone you saw recently and reconnect.
Eating lunch alone at work? See if a co-worker wants to join you.
Has life been unfair in the number of positive examples that have been present in your life? Don’t fall into the trap thinking they aren’t necessary. Instead, search diligently for those positive examples and be open to including them in your life.
In the end, our real-life interactions will always play a greater role in our development than the people we follow on social media. And we all need to work harder (especially these days) on pursuing lasting, life-giving relationships.
