I love owning less.
I made a decision years ago to intentionally live with fewer possessions. It was born, mainly, out of my growing discontent with the focus of my life’s energy. As the size of my home increased and the number of things stuffed into closets grew, more and more time was spent caring for them.
While cleaning my garage one Saturday morning, I began to realize how much of my life was being stolen by the things that I own. As a result, the things that meant the most to me were being neglected. I immediately began to remove the nonessential.
Since deciding to own less, I’ve experienced countless benefits: more time, more money, more freedom, more energy, less stress, and less distraction.
Owning less provides me the opportunity to pursue my greatest passions. It’s great. And I’ll never go back to my previous lifestyle.
But along the way, I discovered something even better than owning less: Wanting less.
I’ll explain.
Not long ago, I was visiting a friend at his home down the street. As we were talking, he mentioned how nervous he was about the upcoming weekend. I began to ask why.
“Well,” he said, “we have some new friends coming over for dinner. And I’m a little embarrassed about the size of our house.” He proceeded to tell me the backstory.
Recently, he and his wife had met some new friends. And last weekend, they went to their house for dinner.
“Joshua, it was huge,” he remarked, “and beautiful and every room had gorgeous furniture in it. It was one of the nicest homes I’ve ever been in!”
But now, this coming weekend, their friends would be coming over to their home for the first time. And last weekend’s experience has left my friend self-conscious about the size of his home.
I went about my friendly-duty of assuring him he had nothing to worry about. Things would be just fine. His house was plenty big. And the feeling you get when you enter a home is far more important than square footage or the make of the furniture.
All the while, I felt a bit of sadness for him. What a crummy way to live… constantly scanning the possessions of others and comparing them to your own. There is no joy to be found in that approach to life. It will always lead to discontent and envy.
But soon after, I began to analyze the emotions and feelings I had experienced during his telling of the story. We had moved into a smaller home years ago and I couldn’t be happier with it—the benefits of a smaller home are fantastic. I don’t even want a bigger house anymore. I drive past them all the time and think to myself, “I’m sure glad I don’t have to take care of that big thing!”
As my friend was sharing his story, I began to reflect on how much my life has changed and how unattractive the constant pursuit of material possessions has become to me. Not only do I own less, I want less. And this is a wonderful place to be.
Because I don’t want to own more than I already have, I am freed from the constant comparing of my stuff to others. I am no longer bound to the incessant pursuit of more money and more stuff. I have found contentment in the things that I own. I have discovered more room for generosity. And I have begun to bend my pursuits towards things that matter.
Indeed, owning less is great, but wanting less is even better. (tweet that)
This post resonates deeply but for me. it’s not the size of my small home that is the issue. It’s our mishmash decor, the lack of matching dishes/glassware and old couch. It’s the stucco ceiling and cheap IKEA lamps. Our modest lifestyle means we don’t care to update everything and need to have perfect decor (i.e. I could never imagine throwing out all my old dishware just to replace it with a new matching set) but I have a hard time imagining other people/friends who would be comfortable in our space as well. I still find it hard not to compare to other people’s more “put together” furnishings even if I don’t subscribe to the spending that it’s dependent on. So we never have people over, which is prob not a great solution either.
My daughter made their mismatched dishes from marriage combining two households, look deliberate. Nothing matched at all. She even might put different candles with outdoor greenery, pine cones, or twigs as a centerpiece. Silverware mismatched. But the good food, laughter, & love made it all enjoyable. Me, Ii decided to just rely on paper plates & cups, so clean up is easy & we’re with the company NOT the kitchen & clean up! Remember, when we’re gone no one remembers what you have. They remember you & good times with you & wish you could be together again,
Love your comment and agree!
I understand both perspectives. We own a smaller, financially-manageable home with rooms the size of some of my friends’ walk in closets. Our motto is “may our home always be too small to hold all of our family and friends…”. When we have large gatherings (20+) people we take them outside. We host at least 2 fellowship events per month. Our friends/family with the larger houses rarely host. I usually have coffee on and something with carbs to eat. This is how I make my small home welcoming to others and our door is always open. It really is about the “feeling you get when you enter a home.” I always enjoy your perspective Joshua.
Jessica, thanks for this. What a beautiful life motto.
We built a home almost 40 years ago. We built what we could afford, which by must standard is a small house. Three bedroom, 1 bath. We’ve added a family room, and bathroom downstairs, and a lovely enclosed patio. Now that we’re in our 60s, and have raised a child, and helped raise two grandchildren, I realize we didn’t need any more space, even when the whole family was here. I’m so happy we never bought into bigger is better!
My husband felt that exact same way. The friends were wealthy and had a large home with a horse stable.
The difference between us, other than the size of our homes, was the fact that I was an enthusiastic cook and baker and they did not do either. The husband said the meal was the best in his life.
They continued to come to us for meals until they moved away. They always looked forward to home cooking.
My husband then realized that the size of the home doesn’t matter. It’s how people feel when they enter it.
I live in a condo decorated to my liking. Not huge but comfy for me and my friends
There’s a limit on small spaces.
When the people in your household are constantly bumping into each other, have no personal space, it becomes a burden that getting rid of stuff cannot fix.
Maybe it’s a US thing, but in many countries (some elements of this post bring to mind the author driving by these large US suburban houses), people live in small appartments and tiny studios, couples and sometimes whole families, that no amount of minimalism can expand to a comfortable amount of space to live in.
And we can’t always be outside…
The one things I do want more of is time and space.
It doesn’t have to be a huge space, but not feeling constrained by walls in a box in your home does make a difference in your daily experience, ie not having it to take it upon yourself like a monk or prisonner in a cell.
A spare bedroom to welcome friends or family would be also be great for instance. Or just a place to isolate without being in the kitchen space or bedroom, that kind of thing.
Agree. My husband and I downsized from a 3200sf house to a 980sf apartment. We love the freedom and ease….but we do have a spare bedroom and office nook so a bit of space to space ourselves out when needed.
I agree. We have been in many houses with different sq feet. With 3 kids there was too small when were on top of each other, very big which definetly gave us breathing room to 21 years in around 1400 sq feet. That has been my happy medium.
I truly believe in possessing minimum.
It is peaceful and convenient.
Also I don’t believe in showing, rather one should be kind.
I agree !!!
But I have junk to get rid of, lots of it is nice tho……
We spend the first 2/3 or so of our life acquiring stuff, and the last 1/3 trying to get rid of it. Another truism: I will bet you anything that most married people will tell you they were happiest when they were first married and had next to nothing.
Yes! I was so happy in our small apartment with a mattress on the floor.
I was just saying the same thing to my husband the other day. Our first home was a tiny attic flat! I don’t know how many times we hit our heads on the beams!! We didn’t have many items only the basics but they were plenty! We had soo much fun in our little home.
I choose to be minimalist 15 years ago, I wait until my things damage before I bought, I choose small house, I ride public cars. Every December some of myclothes and children clothes are given to the neighbors. I have small cabinet for clothes, everything in the house is small but I have hug garden where I can plant vegetables and flowers that give extra income. It help me at feel peace and happy serving my family thinking less about things we don’t need.
About 3 years ago we left our 2500 sq ft in the city for a 1000 sq ft home with some land. All of out friend could not believe were were moving into a 2 bdrm, 1 bath house. We love it and do not want to ever move back into a large house. I am starting embracing the minimalist lifestyle more and more. Thanks for all the positive articles!
Lets jazz ‘ up this “owning less is great, but wanting less is even better.” Always With Hugs Hugs and Big love to you.
“It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.
-Seneca the Younger
I love the minimalist living philosophy and also appreciate your minimalist writing style. Kudos. I’m very inspired!
JOSHUA do you own your home or do you rent ??
One week ago we moved from our large home on a huge block to a modest home with a postage stamp backyard. I was exhausted from the effort of maintaining and caring for this place that impressed others but actually did not care for me in return. We halved our pocessions before the move. Still our double garage is full of things that don’t fit. And I’m so grateful they don’t because they are all going. I finally feel like the air is clear, I can breathe and I can see my life! My family and friends thought I was mad – but we still have the same friends and family, we still do the same things everyday. Nothing at all about our lives has been lost. Instead of living in a house for when people visit, my house needs to nurture what we need everyday. After all we are the ones that live there 99.9 percent of the time. Not the visitors!
“Instead of living in a house for when people visit, my house needs to nurture what we need everyday.” Jodie, this profound! As Joshua would say, tweet that☺.
Agree. We live in a small house by choice. One area that we have really tried to focus in is having gratitude for the things we do have. It’s so refreshing to get rid of the stuff and clutter, but maintaining it and becoming a gate keeper of stuff has been an interesting journey. Now I think to myself, where will the new possession go?
I recently read an article about economic class and minimalism – summed up it said the poor can’t afford to be minimalist, but your article pointed out that its the mindset not the income that truly matters. Contentedness brings happiness and peace. I am 25, married, one kid, with one on the way, and am appalled at how much stuff we have amassed in the past 5 years despite several moves. This article has inspired/re-motivated me to free our lives up for real living! I have had a dream for years of gatherings in my home with something as simple as beef stew and biscuits, guess I need to make it happen!
I love that I, too, became a minimalist about 9 years ago. You see, my husband died of pancreatic cancer and we were not at all prepared for such a horrific life change. We were still getting the kids out of school and looking forward having time by ourselves. After his death and having to deal with the aftermath, I realized that all the things he worked on so hard didn’t really matter any more. All the things he saved had no real meaning. All that mattered to me were my memories of him and our pictures. I learned in a very short time that “stuff” means nothing. The more “stuff” there is, the more “stuff” people have to deal with after you die. I didn’t want our kids to ever have to deal with my “stuff” when I die so I started getting rid of so much junk. If it meant anything to them, they could have it. I gave things away. I threw things away. I didn’t need a 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom house anymore. I wanted a tiny 800 sq ft house. I sold my house. I got completely out of debt. I have nothing in storage. I figured if I have to store it, I don’t need it. I don’t have anything in my closet that I won’t/can’t wear. I only have 4 towels and 12 wash cloths. I have one set of sheets. What I have is nice. I’m proud of what little I have. When I die, my kids won’t have to deal with very much. I feel sorry for people, especially young people, who set themselves up in debt for more more more and bigger bigger bigger and none of it satisfies them, yet they just keep on buying buying buying to impress impress impress. I can truly and honestly say that I am so happy with my life and I don’t need or want any more than I have.
I loved your post. Thanks for sharing
Well done and well said. You are a strong person!
I am very sorry about your husband. Thank you so much for sharing your story! I am finding myself thinking the way you think. I am allowing my daughter to keep what she wants, and everything else is going to be donated or pitched. I want less and to live more!
Kind of sad to think you don’t even want but bare basics and not even that. If for some reason you soil sheets I guess you sleep on bare mattress or whatever you sleep on. I am no minimalist and enjoy my possessions because I love nice things. But I get that many who never knew less find themselves wanti g less. But some take it a bit too far. I never saw a house too big. I don’t think it needs constant cleaning unless many people living always in every room. I simply enjoy wandering throughout and decorating a large house. I also love land and outbuildings and barns for livestock. Of course livestock also. I am not big on lots of cars. But a huge beautiful old house with many rooms is great. I only want a small house if by the beach for get aways. I do enjoy lots of family visiting and staying around. You need more than one set of sheets if having friends, family and grandchildren spending weeks. Along with huge holiday dinners requires more than one set of silverware. To each their own. I grew up in a tiny house with 10 people. I like big.
Kind of sad I think. All that stuff will never truly fulfill you.
Sounds like your possessions are indeed a happy part of your life, along with the hospitality of having lots of friends and family there. Enjoy!
I loved your post , after losing my husband of over 40 years to pancreatic cancer six years ago I tried to maintain the house that he built for me right before he died and I have decided to sell it , retire and move in with one of my Daughters because she asked me to , so for the past two weeks I’ve been just realizing that all the stuff that he accumulated over the years it’s just stuff it means nothing so as I begin to minimize and get rid of all our stuff, I know less is better for everyone….. no need to hold on to so much stuff …. Bless you and thanks for sharing .
Sorry to hear about your loss.(My mother once marched me through their house, pointing out 4 or 5 meaningful items to keep after they die – which I agreed with. As I don’t have children, I will pass on those items my sister’s children – which made me realise that we are just temporary custodians of stuff.) You make some excellent points about stuff. I was born a minimalist- and do find it liberating on a mental and spiritual level. I love cooking, but only have 2 steel pots, a pan, and a ceramic stew pot. No need for anything else! People, laughter and stimulating conversation fills any lack of stuff.
We are getting ready to move to Texas from Kansas and are looking to downsize home. I’ve already started downsizing and selling stuff. It’s refreshing. Now I’m hooked. I want to get rid of more and more now.
Enough is as good as a feast….don’t know the origin of this wisdom but have used it as a mantra in my life. Love your posts.