Minimalism has changed me. What began as just a journey to own less stuff has changed the way I view myself and the world around me in significant ways.
One of the most significant changes is my reevaluation of how society defines success. Too often, those who make and spend and keep the most resources for themselves are labeled as the “successful ones.”
But this is unfortunate. Some of the best people I know would not be regarded as successful in worldly terms—precisely because they have decided to spend and focus their resources on less material things.
These people are far too rare—or at least, they do not get enough recognition. Instead, it seems ingrained in us to desire and appreciate the praise and the admiration of others. And because of that, many people will compromise greater and more worthwhile pursuits for the facade of temporal, worldly success.
I think it is important for us to no longer take the bait—to no longer heap accolades on those who flaunt selfish pursuits.
To that end, because of how my view of the world and its people has begun to change, I will offer a short list of things that no longer impress me:
The brand name of your clothing. Manufacturing practices are important. So is quality and fit. Why the name printed on the inside (and often times the outside) matter, I will never understand. Too often, people pay a premium just for the privilege of become a walking billboard. I am no longer impressed by the logo on your shirt, your purse, or the face of your watch. Instead, I admire those who are confident in timeless fashion and seek to make an impression by their character and their countenance.
The number of carats in your jewelry. One of the most important chapters in my new book, The More of Less: Finding the Life You Want Under Everything You Own, contains the story of Bryan and Nicole. Bryan and Nicole, five years into their marriage, continue to make sacrifices each day to help pay off lingering wedding debt—most of which is wrapped around Nicole’s finger. While the size of the rock on someone’s finger is noticed by some, most are not even looking.
The price of your car. The goal of any vehicle is to safely transport persons from Point A to Point B. Reliability is important, so is comfort (especially if you spend lots of time in it). But most luxury (and sport) cars appeal to a different motivation, they are no longer just about transportation. They often appeal to our need to broadcast success and get noticed—even if that means impressing strangers for 60 seconds at a red light.
The square footage of your house. Houses provide shelter and opportunity for stability. They represent investment in both our finances and our neighborhood. Over the course of my life, I have owned several homes (just one at a time) and have experienced the pride that comes from providing and creating a home for my family. But years ago, we intentionally chose to downsize and buy a smaller one. It is a decision I have never regretted. And to this day, when I drive past a large house, the only thing I can think of is how much happier we are in a small one.
The dollars in your bank account. The ultimate measure of success in our world today is personal wealth. Incidentally, we are not the first—this standard holds true across almost every society from the beginning of time. But I’m starting to wonder if we have been using the wrong measure. Maybe the number of dollars in a bank account is not the greatest measurement of success. Maybe instead, the amount of good we are able to accomplish with our lives is a truer measure of success
The model of your cell phone. Just the other day, I was spending time at a local park with my kids and a group of their friends. One of the most repeated conversations I overheard was their constant comparison of technology. “Which iPhone do you have? What number iPod is that? And guess who just got a new iPad for her birthday?” It was alarming to hear kids under the age of 10 spend so much energy comparing models of battery-powered electronics. And as much as I wanted to blame them and correct them, I was reminded that we adults are not that different. If we are not comparing cell phones, we are often lusting after faster computers and bigger television screens.
The age of your retirement. Retirement is the ultimate goal for most people. Unfortunately, this creates an attitude that sees the greatest goal of work is to remove ourselves from it. I think that approach is short-sighted and fails to recognize the fulfillment we find in it. But more than that, the age of someone’s retirement is based on countless factors, many of which are outside of anyone’s control—one man may strike it rich by simply being in the right place at the right time, while another may have experienced the exact opposite circumstance (just ask any number of 65-year old Baby Boomers). And this doesn’t even begin to count those who will continue working late in life because they have graciously used their financial resources to bless others.
The photos on your social media account. Almost everyone posts flattering images and experiences of themselves online—from new clothes and restaurant food to local concerts and airplane wings. These images are closely guarded and selected routinely portraying only the most exciting parts of our lives. With foolish abandon, we blame Photoshop for perpetuating unattainable images of perfection while simultaneously editing and photoshopping our own lives for social media.
Let’s stop trying to impress others with the things that we own. And start trying to inspire them by the lives that we live. (tweet that)
If I guess right your article is framed around White middle class working folk. You talk about living in a home. Where I come from if you are black you don’t even get a chance to own a home. Where the White’s live homes start at $475.00 and the bank will gladly sell you a mortage. But if you are Black and the homes are $125,000 you most likely will need a very high paying job just for the bank to even consider you.Then if you do gualify for a loan where other’s such as yourself live. The city will come in an charge you much higher tax’s then in the white neighboorhoods Its a nice article but it does not take into consideration the CLASS DIVIDE in this country.
It’s hard to write about something you know nothing about. The author is writing their experience. It’s up to you to write yours. I for one would be interested to know the obstacles you face. What you wrote already is a good start but don’t expect people to know your life. And don’t take offense if they cannot relate. Use your voice, without anger or prejudice, and submit an article of your own. 😊
This is such an important article. It need to start with the parents of the kids. Why do we put labels on our kids??? Many are scared the kids will be bullied if they do not get the same expensive jacket as their class mates. Or they get scared their child will not fit in if they do not have the exact same stuff everyone else have. Same cellphones, same Nike, same holidays, same expensive xmas presents. But they do a diservice to their children. Teach them to be happy with less, and they will live a much happier life. I refused to buy Levis when I was a kid, because everyone at school told me I needed to wear it. I never had a piece of clothing with a name on. Wore the colors and styles I wanted. Never had a problem with beeing bullied, because they knew they had nothing on me. I did not care! Parents need to do a better job telling their kids they are worth more than the latest cell phone, most expensive purse or jacket and fasionable dress or suit. ❤️.
You are exactly correct…teach children not to be lemmings.
The “age of retirement” part really spoke to me. My husband just turned 65, and he is nowhere near ready to retire. Besides having a job he really likes (and where he is appreciated!), we are not in a financial position for him to retire. We have always been a single-income family (we homeschooled, so I didn’t work outside the home). It is amazing how men his age who ARE retired continually hassle him about “calling it quits.” It’s made it so hanging out with our retired friends isn’t fun anymore.
You’ll like my new book where I challenge the modern notion of retirement.
I buy comfortable clothes. Our wedding and honeymoon could not have been any more frugal. We paid for it ourselves and no lingering debt. We were just so excited to be married and could stay out as late as we wanted. 😂 We buy cars we like and drive them for several years. (10 cars in 55 years) Our house is 1728 sq.ft. We love it! And was paid off long before retirement by doubling up on payments. Good thing since my husband retired at 64 because his US company sold to the French government. You don’t always have control on when you retire and if you find another job at 64, they are not going to give you the position equivalent or the pay that you worked years for in your past career. We keep enough money in savings to not worry about emergencies. Have retirement we built through frugal living all our lives. My cell phone will soon no longer be supported by cell phone carriers because it is so old…but it still works. We aren’t blowing through our retirement so we can post pictures on social media to impress. Not that insecure. What we do to enjoy our time and where we go can be photographed for our own memories but no interest in comparisons. And we are happy!
Proverbs 30:7-8
Two things have I required of thee, deny me them not before I die: Remove far from me vanity and lies: give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me: lest I be full and deny thee, and say, Who is the Lord? or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God in vain.
Can’t wait to read it! I appreciate your simple way of sharing such strong principles!
What is the name of your book?
We never got that did we yet. Which I am looking to find a copy for myself . Thank you.
Im looking forward to that! I’m a new follower but this is my tribe😃
What’s the title and where can it be purchased?
He may have to start hanging out with younger minded people.
Wow 😮 I am so glad you’ve brought this up. Kids young and big go through hell out there and if parents din’t Give them their attention, it’s a loss for them. Kids turn to the social pressure and make whatever can help them ( cigarette, drink, even exceed body aware that they aren’t look good, or didn’t have to spend on housing learning or just little things) so learning from scratch is what’s best now and it’s like not so great. I am glad some parents are ready to give a hand in that, school can’t teach every and all the SoCal and not to say no job no insurance no self care , may be it’s a little overwhelming just to think about this for becoming adult in our time
I really get what you are saying!!!
My husband worked until he was almost 70 for the reasons you mentioned. It was miserable to be constantly reminded that we were the oldest working people in our friend group. We made some new friends to get away from that! It was a good lesson to learn: never ask someone when they will retire! It is their own business…anywhere from enjoying their work to not being ready! DON’t ask!!!
Thank you for sharing your perspective!!!
Were your children at school for 40 years? Or were you unemployed once they were no longer homeschooled?
We “graciously used our financial resources” to bless our children with the ability to go to the school of their choice. We will be helping to pay for their student loans well into retirement-if and when we get one. Our children all went on to higher education and all are great kids-just starting out. I wouldn’t change a thing. It was refreshing to read the part of this article on retirement. Made me feel better that I can’t -at least not in the near future-and I’m ok with that. ?
Bologna. Haha. My retirement will be paying student loans. How foolish. Let them pay their own!
At the end of the day, you pay their student loan with your retirement savings and who’s going to pay your billls when you retire…..wake up
At the end of the day, you pay their student loan with your retirement savings and who’s going to pay your billls when you retire…..wake up
Living minimally all our adult lives have helped my husband retire early, see more of our family, and who knows what since we are now freed up to live where we want.
Hi
I am looking at getting a paying position that either requires me to work less hours or that requires me to work from home so I can spend more time with my children.
I am wondering if you currently have any paid positions on your site for columnists.
Thank you
U jelly…
Very wise words. I think that many of us admire those who do things for others, or, who stand up for others. This can be in their work or in their free time. Think of the millions who volunteer time and energy to community and overseas projects. Those providing comfort to others, water to rural areas, help in crisis situations. Not to forget the ‘everyday’ sharing of love.
My husband lost a very lucrative banking job when everything crashed in 2009. We went through everything……retirement accounts, IRA was reduced to practically nothing! I have no idea what the future will bring! Retirement? We don’t have that luxury anymore. However, we have learned how to live on a lot less and the things that used to be important, not anymore! God has provided everything we need and my “want list” has nothing to do with “things” anymore! We have 3 grown, married children and 4 grandchildren! Our children are fine, responsible adults. There’s nothing I want more than that! So take your name brand clothes and fine automobiles. But remember you can lose them very quickly! What’s left is humility, less self centeredness, and gratitude for the most important things: family and God’s grace that promises me eternal life! Life here on earth is short compared to eternity!
I know that my response comes late but here it is. This is a huge lesson about having humility in life. I just felt in my heart this is what this is about ; going through it all with pride and find in the experience the life in essence. Thanks, Jane.