Minimalism has changed me. What began as just a journey to own less stuff has changed the way I view myself and the world around me in significant ways.
One of the most significant changes is my reevaluation of how society defines success. Too often, those who make and spend and keep the most resources for themselves are labeled as the “successful ones.”
But this is unfortunate. Some of the best people I know would not be regarded as successful in worldly terms—precisely because they have decided to spend and focus their resources on less material things.
These people are far too rare—or at least, they do not get enough recognition. Instead, it seems ingrained in us to desire and appreciate the praise and the admiration of others. And because of that, many people will compromise greater and more worthwhile pursuits for the facade of temporal, worldly success.
I think it is important for us to no longer take the bait—to no longer heap accolades on those who flaunt selfish pursuits.
To that end, because of how my view of the world and its people has begun to change, I will offer a short list of things that no longer impress me:
The brand name of your clothing.
Manufacturing practices are important. So is quality and fit. Why the name printed on the inside (and often times the outside) matter, I will never understand. Too often, people pay a premium just for the privilege of become a walking billboard.
I am no longer impressed by the logo on your shirt, your purse, or the face of your watch. Instead, I admire those who are confident in timeless fashion and seek to make an impression by their character and their countenance.
The number of carats in your jewelry.
One of the most important chapters in my new book, The More of Less: Finding the Life You Want Under Everything You Own, contains the story of Bryan and Nicole. Bryan and Nicole, five years into their marriage, continue to make sacrifices each day to help pay off lingering wedding debt—most of which is wrapped around Nicole’s finger. While the size of the rock on someone’s finger is noticed by some, most are not even looking.
The price of your car.
The goal of any vehicle is to safely transport persons from Point A to Point B. Reliability is important, so is comfort (especially if you spend lots of time in it). But most luxury (and sport) cars appeal to a different motivation, they are no longer just about transportation. They often appeal to our need to broadcast success and get noticed—even if that means impressing strangers for 60 seconds at a red light.
The square footage of your house.
Houses provide shelter and opportunity for stability. They represent investment in both our finances and our neighborhood. Over the course of my life, I have owned several homes (just one at a time) and have experienced the pride that comes from providing and creating a home for my family.
But years ago, we intentionally chose to downsize and buy a smaller one. It is a decision I have never regretted. And to this day, when I drive past a large house, the only thing I can think of is how much happier we are in a small one.
The dollars in your bank account.
The ultimate measure of success in our world today is personal wealth. Incidentally, we are not the first—this standard holds true across almost every society from the beginning of time. But I’m starting to wonder if we have been using the wrong measure.
Maybe the number of dollars in a bank account is not the greatest measurement of success. Maybe instead, the amount of good we are able to accomplish with our lives is a truer measure of success
The model of your cell phone.
Just the other day, I was spending time at a local park with my kids and a group of their friends. One of the most repeated conversations I overheard was their constant comparison of technology. “Which iPhone do you have? What number iPod is that? And guess who just got a new iPad for her birthday?” It was alarming to hear kids under the age of 10 spend so much energy comparing models of battery-powered electronics.
And as much as I wanted to blame them and correct them, I was reminded that we adults are not that different. If we are not comparing cell phones, we are often lusting after faster computers and bigger television screens.
The age of your retirement.
Retirement is the ultimate goal for most people. Unfortunately, this creates an attitude that sees the greatest goal of work is to remove ourselves from it. I think that approach is short-sighted and fails to recognize the fulfillment we find in it.
But more than that, the age of someone’s retirement is based on countless factors, many of which are outside of anyone’s control—one man may strike it rich by simply being in the right place at the right time, while another may have experienced the exact opposite circumstance (just ask any number of 65-year old Baby Boomers). And this doesn’t even begin to count those who will continue working late in life because they have graciously used their financial resources to bless others.
The photos on your social media account.
Almost everyone posts flattering images and experiences of themselves online—from new clothes and restaurant food to local concerts and airplane wings. These images are closely guarded and selected routinely portraying only the most exciting parts of our lives. With foolish abandon, we blame Photoshop for perpetuating unattainable images of perfection while simultaneously editing and photoshopping our own lives for social media.
Let’s stop trying to impress others with the things that we own. And start trying to inspire them by the lives that we live. (tweet that)
I love when people ask my husband when he is retiring and he says retire to what?
We have a minimalist lifestyle now that the kids are gone and it suits me fine.
If I guess right your article is framed around White middle class working folk. You talk about living in a home. Where I come from if you are black you don’t even get a chance to own a home. Where the White’s live homes start at $475.00 and the bank will gladly sell you a mortage. But if you are Black and the homes are $125,000 you most likely will need a very high paying job just for the bank to even consider you.Then if you do gualify for a loan where other’s such as yourself live. The city will come in an charge you much higher tax’s then in the white neighboorhoods Its a nice article but it does not take into consideration the CLASS DIVIDE in this country.
It’s hard to write about something you know nothing about. The author is writing their experience. It’s up to you to write yours. I for one would be interested to know the obstacles you face. What you wrote already is a good start but don’t expect people to know your life. And don’t take offense if they cannot relate. Use your voice, without anger or prejudice, and submit an article of your own. ????
This is such an important article. It need to start with the parents of the kids. Why do we put labels on our kids??? Many are scared the kids will be bullied if they do not get the same expensive jacket as their class mates. Or they get scared their child will not fit in if they do not have the exact same stuff everyone else have. Same cellphones, same Nike, same holidays, same expensive xmas presents. But they do a diservice to their children. Teach them to be happy with less, and they will live a much happier life. I refused to buy Levis when I was a kid, because everyone at school told me I needed to wear it. I never had a piece of clothing with a name on. Wore the colors and styles I wanted. Never had a problem with beeing bullied, because they knew they had nothing on me. I did not care! Parents need to do a better job telling their kids they are worth more than the latest cell phone, most expensive purse or jacket and fasionable dress or suit. ❤️.
You are exactly correct…teach children not to be lemmings.
The “age of retirement” part really spoke to me. My husband just turned 65, and he is nowhere near ready to retire. Besides having a job he really likes (and where he is appreciated!), we are not in a financial position for him to retire. We have always been a single-income family (we homeschooled, so I didn’t work outside the home). It is amazing how men his age who ARE retired continually hassle him about “calling it quits.” It’s made it so hanging out with our retired friends isn’t fun anymore.
You’ll like my new book where I challenge the modern notion of retirement.
I buy comfortable clothes. Our wedding and honeymoon could not have been any more frugal. We paid for it ourselves and no lingering debt. We were just so excited to be married and could stay out as late as we wanted. ???? We buy cars we like and drive them for several years. (10 cars in 55 years) Our house is 1728 sq.ft. We love it! And was paid off long before retirement by doubling up on payments. Good thing since my husband retired at 64 because his US company sold to the French government. You don’t always have control on when you retire and if you find another job at 64, they are not going to give you the position equivalent or the pay that you worked years for in your past career. We keep enough money in savings to not worry about emergencies. Have retirement we built through frugal living all our lives. My cell phone will soon no longer be supported by cell phone carriers because it is so old…but it still works. We aren’t blowing through our retirement so we can post pictures on social media to impress. Not that insecure. What we do to enjoy our time and where we go can be photographed for our own memories but no interest in comparisons. And we are happy!
Proverbs 30:7-8
Two things have I required of thee, deny me them not before I die: Remove far from me vanity and lies: give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me: lest I be full and deny thee, and say, Who is the Lord? or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God in vain.
Can’t wait to read it! I appreciate your simple way of sharing such strong principles!
What is the name of your book?
We never got that did we yet. Which I am looking to find a copy for myself . Thank you.
Im looking forward to that! I’m a new follower but this is my tribe????
What’s the title and where can it be purchased?
He may have to start hanging out with younger minded people.
Wow ???? I am so glad you’ve brought this up. Kids young and big go through hell out there and if parents din’t Give them their attention, it’s a loss for them. Kids turn to the social pressure and make whatever can help them ( cigarette, drink, even exceed body aware that they aren’t look good, or didn’t have to spend on housing learning or just little things) so learning from scratch is what’s best now and it’s like not so great. I am glad some parents are ready to give a hand in that, school can’t teach every and all the SoCal and not to say no job no insurance no self care , may be it’s a little overwhelming just to think about this for becoming adult in our time
I really get what you are saying!!!
My husband worked until he was almost 70 for the reasons you mentioned. It was miserable to be constantly reminded that we were the oldest working people in our friend group. We made some new friends to get away from that! It was a good lesson to learn: never ask someone when they will retire! It is their own business…anywhere from enjoying their work to not being ready! DON’t ask!!!
Thank you for sharing your perspective!!!
Were your children at school for 40 years? Or were you unemployed once they were no longer homeschooled?
We “graciously used our financial resources” to bless our children with the ability to go to the school of their choice. We will be helping to pay for their student loans well into retirement-if and when we get one. Our children all went on to higher education and all are great kids-just starting out. I wouldn’t change a thing. It was refreshing to read the part of this article on retirement. Made me feel better that I can’t -at least not in the near future-and I’m ok with that. ?
Bologna. Haha. My retirement will be paying student loans. How foolish. Let them pay their own!
At the end of the day, you pay their student loan with your retirement savings and who’s going to pay your billls when you retire…..wake up
At the end of the day, you pay their student loan with your retirement savings and who’s going to pay your billls when you retire…..wake up
Living minimally all our adult lives have helped my husband retire early, see more of our family, and who knows what since we are now freed up to live where we want.
Hi
I am looking at getting a paying position that either requires me to work less hours or that requires me to work from home so I can spend more time with my children.
I am wondering if you currently have any paid positions on your site for columnists.
Thank you
U jelly…
Very wise words. I think that many of us admire those who do things for others, or, who stand up for others. This can be in their work or in their free time. Think of the millions who volunteer time and energy to community and overseas projects. Those providing comfort to others, water to rural areas, help in crisis situations. Not to forget the ‘everyday’ sharing of love.
My husband lost a very lucrative banking job when everything crashed in 2009. We went through everything……retirement accounts, IRA was reduced to practically nothing! I have no idea what the future will bring! Retirement? We don’t have that luxury anymore. However, we have learned how to live on a lot less and the things that used to be important, not anymore! God has provided everything we need and my “want list” has nothing to do with “things” anymore! We have 3 grown, married children and 4 grandchildren! Our children are fine, responsible adults. There’s nothing I want more than that! So take your name brand clothes and fine automobiles. But remember you can lose them very quickly! What’s left is humility, less self centeredness, and gratitude for the most important things: family and God’s grace that promises me eternal life! Life here on earth is short compared to eternity!
I know that my response comes late but here it is. This is a huge lesson about having humility in life. I just felt in my heart this is what this is about ; going through it all with pride and find in the experience the life in essence. Thanks, Jane.
While I like the sentiment, I feel it is an idealistic, unrealistic view to take in our current society. You live in a capitalist framework. Complaining about how money works and effects people within that framework I feel is counterintuitive & hypocritical… Especially as you sit and write this article on/in the very results of that society you are referring too. There are a multitude of success types, and each one is subjective depending on your reference point re monetary, emotional, spiritual, acedemic, etc. The mere act of judging someone else because they put value in what you would consider superficial, is hypocritical & detrimental imo. You want to live a certain minimalistic lifestyle, that’s fine, but try not to hold your viewpoints above, and judge those who have a different perspective, which in essence is what you’re doing, and is actually the foundation for your article.
Really? How condescending. You are judging people for being realistic and not admiring your trappings.
Those that put value on name brands likewise judge minimalists who don’t spend as as much as being poor.
You are right. Many people are living in poverty.
I would be more “impressed” about name of clothing and where manufactured…so I know it’s not made in a sweatshop by children in a third world country. The other stuff is easiky worked out.
SO MUCH JUDGEMENT : (
Having enough or too much is each personal gauge. When I had too much, I did not feel the “success” people think I had, but only when decided to live SIMPLE that I felt so successful. Living simple and not let the success of others bother you is more satisfying.
It has always been this way for me. I wear comfortable clothing and never pay attention to other people’s fashion. (Partly because I almost always automatically look at their eyes when I need to)
I only know brands that I see when strolling the Mall. I don’t know cars. My phone is outdated. I’m not aware of the latest gadgets.
And no, I’m not a granny. I’m 22, if that matters.
Most people find me weird because I never pay attention to those material things to the point that I started to think I’m not supposed to be like this. With the wish to be “more normal” I have been trying lately to “notice” what “I’m supposed to notice”. It feels unnatural and pretentious. Thank you for this article. It justifies my… supposed “weirdness”.
Are you on the autism spectrum, my friend? You sound like me and my family. <3
So relatable <3
*becoming
Love this article!!
I guess I did not know our family have been working toward the minimalist goal for years. Oh we started out wanting all the nice things all American families have. A big house..nice cars that all match..expensive clothes… toys..
Now the photos on my fb??? We never did that..I guess we are just too real for that…
WR quickly realized the more we worked to attain the magical dollar amount in our bank…with all our wants..it wasn’t realistic to ever attain it. Of course ..eventually relying solely on our ranch income the writing was on the wall..the our banks wld be filled money borrowed and very little earned! Put that in ur pipe and smoke it..ugh!
The best thing in life that I learned early on in childhood is the ability to gracious and realize that blessings come in all sizes and shapes…even if that is the blessing of a small town thrift store with BIG TIME buys and endless $.50 clothing items that are practically new! Shopping for new to us vehicles was always a priority…but now the goal is to maintain that reliable vehicle and drive it until the wheels fall off or the engine pukes..whichever is first and then use our God given skills put it back together again…like humpty dumpty!! Lol
Knowing reliability is most important and a few dents does not define us…proud to say. .all our vehicles will be paid off this year and our extravagantly bought camper after 10 years is still mint and PAID FOR!! knowing that we will NEVER finance one again!
Our phones will not be upgraded after our original investment two years ago…they are unreliable at our ranch..and besides using them online at home they serve very little purpose. Oh..believe me..I really like having GPS…but I will buy my own phone b4 contracting again!
Last year I read the tidying book…and beyond struggling to let go..I have slowly made progress and cleaned the clutter. ..knowing that I have restuffed..but keeping orespective in mind..that my friends on the Pine Ridge do much with very little..and I have the ability to share with them and my junk is their treasure. .I’m almost happy I’m a hoarder and they are benefiting from my need to become..I’m guess..a minimalist!!
Thank you for this article, I love it. I had a similar experience as to your write-up. I almost lost all of my material possessions when I got separated from my ex, the house, the car, the furniture, etc. It was then that I realized that material things are the easiest to lose, but the hardest to keep is one’s being- that is, who are you after the fall?
I’ve noticed how often people (including my spouse and myself) through their 40’s speak of the value of work and how they will not want to retire, but at some point in perhaps your 50’s or 60’s (or earlier if your work is particularly back-breaking) your body and/or mind stop cooperating as well, and at least a partial retirement starts to sound good. Kudos to those who can and do go longer, but please realize that some of that ambition to keep working forever “because of the value” may be short-sighted. On a related note, that’s why the built up bank account is important, too! I’m not disagreeing at all with the tone of the article or most of the content, just offering a different perspective (that’s rather new to older me, too).
Hi! Yes, you are so right. I am stopping my thoughts every time, when I start thinking negatively about our old house, 10 year old car, 30 year old boat and my same old boring job.. Everything is old, but it is functioning. The fact is that we are healthy, have jobs, have cosy house and a safe car. And a We should not strive against more stuff. I am sure we need to be more minimalistic in the future. I am working on it! ?
This made my day. I have two little boys and I want them to have all the opportunities that I didn’t have (good schools, stable home, excellent childcare). I will not be able to afford a big house, take luxury vacations, drive a new car even though we make a good wage. I don’t want these “things” but I have been feeling sad about not being able to save enough to retire early.
I am going to start thinking of the cost of being a parent as giving graciously to my children while showing them how to live frugally.
Love this post so much!
Minimalism is alright with me. No more competing with the Jone-es, life is great!
I couldn’t agree more! I went to an extravagant black tie wedding this summer and couldn’t help glaring at all of the massive rocks on fingers (and around necks), the luxury cars in the parking lot and designer clothes thinking about so many better things I could do with that money. I have a family diamond, drive a 2007 Honda Fit and wore a 8 year old dress that I bought at a huge discount.
I have a 2007 Honda Fit too! I went to have an oil change and they offered me a credit on a new car.
This made me smile so much. Love all of the points you made and completely agree with the “personal wealth” comment.
Roh I think the biggest lie that has been perpetrated is that everyone in this country can be rich if you work hard enough and follow what other rich people do.it is ludicrous to believe that, it’s impossible to achieve. And that attitude is why we now disdain the poor, as if it’s thier fault. Most rich people achieved their wealth through inheritance. Even those who are now billionaires , they inherited millions, so they already had working capital to invest and a start business. And what Rich people will never tell you us that they did not all gain wealth through legal or moral means. And the other thing they will tell you is that much of it was just dumb luck. Life is not about money and things , it’s about people and relationships. That’s what will matter as you get older and when you draw your last breath.