We live in a culture that is never satisfied and always desires more:
More money. More clothing. More toys. More square feet. More followers.
In fact, in many ways, the pursuit of more defines our entire society:
More power. More wealth. More prestige. More reputation. More sex. More. More. More
But there is a problem with the lifestyle choice of desiring more. When we constantly desire more, we are never satisfied. Because no matter how much we accumulate or achieve, more always exists.
By definition, it is unquenchable.
No matter how much money is in your bank account… there can always be more. No matter how big your house… there can always be more. No matter how many likes on your Instagram post or views on your Tik-Tok video… there can always be more.
When more is the goal, we never fully arrive. It is insatiable. And that is the problem with always wanting more. Happiness and contentment will always elude us if we are looking for it in the acquisition of more.
I suppose, if it was commonplace to see an end to this pursuit, that would be a different story. If human beings eventually arrived at a level of more, and suddenly became content, we could all strive to reach that magical level.
But that is not the example surrounding us. Quite the opposite in fact. Most everybody who acquires more, only continues to pursue it.
We see it in the lives of individuals who amass great fortunes but are not satisfied.
We see it in the world’s largest corporations who continue to pursue greater and greater market share and profits.
We see it in those who acquire power and then work relentlessly to keep it and expand upon it.
In the early 1900’s, John D. Rockefeller was the richest man in the world. He was once famously asked by a reporter, “How much money is enough money?” Rockefeller replied, “Just a little bit more.”
The richest man in the world, not satisfied, still in pursuit of more. More can never satisfy.
Other larger, less anecdotal studies, come to the same conclusion that even the wealthiest among us are never fully satisfied.
Of course, we don’t need to look at the lives of others to understand this phenomenon. One look in the mirror reveals the same motivation inside us.
The average American home has tripled in size in the last 50 years and continues to grow larger and larger. The average American woman owns 4X the amount of clothes as her grandmother, but continues to purchase. The average American home has 300,000 items inside it… and yet Amazon arrives on our doorstep several times each week.
When more is the goal, we will never find contentment. More is always a moving target. Never fully attainable.
We live life with only two options:
1. We can continue to pursue more. We can believe there is a better life waiting if we were just to acquire more money, more property, more fame.
2. We can reject the false notion that more is needed to discover happiness. And we can find contentment in our circumstances and gratitude for the blessings we already possess.
The choice is yours.
As for me, I’ll choose contentment with less.
The thing about our wants is that it’s endless. Whenever we have and get something, we are always looking for what more we can have.
Acquiring more money and wealth is an endless battle and war that has no winners or losers. The game is continuous and will continue even after we are all gone.
Therefore, by wanting less, all of that problem is solved.
Well said! Thanks for sharing.
I understand being content with less. I agree and I choose this way, too. But how? I find myself wanting more, I accept this feeling and I tell myself that this “more” is not needed. I would like to reach the status where I am truly fully content with less and I don’t feel I want more, but I really don’t know how!
For me as a Christian, wanting less is bigger then me. For me I need it to be for a bigger reason then just myself. For me knowing that only God can satisfy my wants and he is my satisfaction. After that everything els does not look as satisfying.
I truly enjoyed the article. Less is always more- or – less is best but as a Christian I have found that until a person fills the void in their life with the Lord Jesus we will always want something more. A void not filled is like always having a candy or ice cream (what ever it is) over and over again constantly trying to fill the void or that emptiness- gotta have and still void is not filled. Only God can fill the void. We were made with that void/emptiness purposely so we would turn to the Lord . That void is God calling his children home to his arms and healing heart. Thank you Rita
Thank you
Here you go: Contentment: How to Find This Unmistakable Freedom
Have you ever read the book “a year without a purchase”? Before I ever heard the word minimalism, I ran across this book by Scott Dannemilker. The $$ saved can be used to help others besides freeing ourselves. A great example is the Hope Effect you founded, thank you for being a living example of your faith
Great thoughts. Wanting more (things, money, time, etc…) is so hard to break the ongoing cycle, unless we make a valiant effort to be content and resist the urge to want more. There’s got to be a mark at which we are truly content and not want just a little bit more. Thanks for sharing.
This is so true especially in our culture of instant gratification except it’s fleeting. Your uncluttered course has been amazing and it truly addresses this need for more especially in week 10. Thank you so much for helping me want less.
I think using women as an example of having too much clothing is a great example. I don’t find it chauvinistic; I find it very accurate. Sure, more and more men are catching up to women in this aspect, but it’s still a great example. After all, that’s all the article is doing, is giving examples so we can use the information to examine ourselves. Another example is some men and their addiction to golf clubs, fishing gear or grills/smokers, etc. Could this be some women too? Of course, but I’m just giving the example of men. It’s not chauvinism, it’s just telling a story. Crying chauvinism over an example is like the boy who cried wolf. (A boy, not a girl, because that’s how the story goes!). Thank you for the article, I think it hits home with a lot of people, I know it does for me!
My husband and I realized this a few years ago, and we put ourselves on track to stop reaching for the golden ring. The Volvo car seemed so pretentious for me, switching it out for the used Honda Element which suits me and my dogs perfectly. That Volvo name and logo along with other brands entice too many to have “more importance” to others who honestly really don’t give a rip. We sold his too big truck, which was nice…I’m not gonna lie, but we are a one car family now. Life is still good.
I watched my friend and her husband almost lose their minds when their finances changed. I mean, who needs two dining rooms, two living rooms, and three spare bedrooms when it’s just the two of you? Their house was too big, and they had way too much stuff. So, when you have more, you definitely stand to lose more. I never want to be in that situation.
We are almost debt free with the exception of our mortgage, and it’s a good feeling. Freeing our spaces of unnecessary clutter is, well, freeing. I’m giving away so much. I’m not even bothering with listing and selling things. Here…you want it? You must need it more than I do. Ahhhhhh. Weight off my shoulders.
I am thrilled to finally have enough of so many things that it feels comfortable to give away my stimulus money to those who actually need to spend it.
I also have a new method of downsizing–I’m getting rid of everything in my life that has the word “should” attached to it.
This was a great article. It’s so true! I actually think the Pandemic has helped me to stop wanting more. I learned what is actually needed and I noticed a lot of stuff that wasn’t. I got my vaccines and I thought “I should go to the store cause I can….but what do I need?” I couldn’t think of any reason I needed to go shopping so I didn’t.
I think our society encourages “emotional shopping”: shopping to get over sadness, boredom, loneliness. Most of us don’t need anything that we can’t get at the local grocery or drugstore, but we shop anyway. I know, because I’ve done it. But learning and practicing (because it takes practice!) gratitude and contentment is so much more fulfilling, and actually handles at least some of those emotional needs too.
I have followed you for a couple years now and continue to be inspired and motivated. I look forward to reading your blog or watching a video.
What began as grieving when my husband died after a long illness has become added joy in my life. I felt great urgency to get rid of the vast amount of medical equipment, supplies, medicine, special foods that seemed to be in every drawer I opened. Then there were things that sparked sad memories that I wanted to donate. There was so much stuff we inherited from our families. After our children took what was meaningful to them, I began a huge decluttering effort that still continues. I absolutely love owning less!!
I have been disabled since I had polio as a young child. Although I was blessed to have a fairly normal active life, as I have aged I have lost more strength than most older people do. One unexpected, amazing benefit for me in a more minimalist lifestyle is I got rid of everything that is too heavy or too large for me to handle. All the top shelves are empty now. There is nothing to trip over. In many ways I feel less disabled than I ever have in my whole life.
I’ve committed to becoming far more intentional in what I buy, choosing to support charities I believe in instead of wasting money on “stuff”. I can’t serve others the way I used to but I can control how I spend the little money I have to help others. You definitely influenced me here.
Sorry this is such a long comment. I am grateful for your inspiration.
I might be a surprising reader, I live a committed life of Ignatian Spirituality although a layperson. It is characterized as a life of Simplicity and Gratitude. The example often used is that if I have Two winter coats, I’m keeping one of them from their true owner. In many ways my life is not as ‘minimalist’ as yours, but with mindful consumption, generosity and gratitude one can find both peace and contentment. It is something I pray for others to find…that and a ways to clean the planet of it’s debris. I’ve always said: The content are wealthy beyond measure; the wealthy are always measuring. Thank you for your excellent magazine.
I think we will always struggle with wanting more. I love this article. It’s helped to shift my perspective of what “more: is for me. I’m now seeking and wanting more peace, more of lee, more family time, more of God etc… Thank you for sharing your insights. Have a wonderful Monday.
Your stories are what help me get going the morning. I enjoy sitting down with my cup of coffee and reading. You give me inspiration to keep moving forward in my journey with minimalism and to practice gratitude and contentment. It doesn’t always come easy for me, but your emails and Weekend reads really push me to do better! Thanks for what you do!!!!
You are very welcome Lisa. And thank you for these encouraging words.
Thank you for your wonderful articles. Truer words have never been spoken! I tell myself almost every day to be thankful for what you do have and appreciate everything afforded you in life.
It’s been my experience, people cannot equate “need” versus “want”. This has resulted in extreme waste and discontentment. I tell my friends, save for what you want, then buy it when you are able. When I grew up, things were repaired and maintained not tossed away. This generation is extremely wasteful, and that in itself is not keeping with good values or economy.
Years ago, I helped a Taiwan business tycoon build a new airline. Being in the airline/aircraft business most of my life, I purchased his aircraft fleet, parts and support services. I literally spent a fortune from the Chairman’s checkbook. Even for a billionaire, the amounts were truly staggering, and starting a new airline is a very difficult and daunting task.
In any event, I asked my friend over dinner when we were sharing a sandwich privately. “How much is enough?”. He replied, “Just want more!”. I knew he would eventually fail as in the airline industry you always had to prepare for an eventual rainy day. After five years, the man went from a billionaire to being totally penniless! This is what greed and ambition can do. I learned from his mistakes.
Wanting more…I am applying it to eating. I just can’t seem to get my eating late at night under control. I think, one more scoop of ice cream, one more piece of candy or cookie… yet that one more never satisfied.
Lord help me to be satisfied and not go after more….
Oh, that is a perfect example! You are so right.
I always appreciate your articles…but I wish women weren’t used as examples of owning 4x the amount clothes as their grandmothers. Some women own more because more is expected of women now than it was in their grandmother’s day. Many men own more clothing their wives or other women. A man using this an example could seem chauvinistic.
Abbe, I believe the stats do show it’s primarily women who own the most clothing in the U.S. We don’t have to bow to what we think are society’s expectations of us; it’s possible to dress professionally and attractively without owning a lot of clothing and footwear.
My gosh give the PC stuff a rest and just enjoy the article.
In my experience you are so “right on” in this article. I recall as a high school girl that I had 5 outfits of clothing, one for each day of the week. I took special care of my clothing. I appreciated what I had. There was no sense of “more” in my family due to tight finances. That was the most peace I ever had in my mind. As I got older, worked and had more money, I started acquiring more clothing. The addiction of more began to take hold. I haven’t had “clothing peace” since I was that high school girl. I’m working toward finding that peace again by decluttering and not replacing.
Amen to this wise post and the comments above. Praying for more minimalist discipline in my life and yes, space = peace. Thank you for encouraging message.
Yes, we are a society in hot pursuit of more! The fundamental question that follows is WHY? If we understand the root of this problem, we can better control the impulse.
I lived in Ohio for five years before coming to California for work. I have seen a big change in the way business becomes more competitive to survive and so are the youngest. Ads, and fast pace living. Where else can you be on a 4 lanes on the highway… Cost of living in fashions. Try hard to save on little things!
I wonder how much of what is stuck in the Suez Canal is really “important?” Medical supplies, sure. Containers and containers of clothes and gadgets? Not so much.
I enjoyed reading this and it was a great reminder to be content. I have actually more than enough and I plan to donate a large portion of it. Please keep me in your prayers as I would like this to be how I roll out, donating unneeded and unwanted items on a weekly basis.
I always appreciate your articles but I wish women weren’t examples of ones owning so many clothes. Women own more clothing because we fill many roles that weren’t expected of our grandmothers. There are many men who own more clothes than their wives or other women! A man using women as an example of having 4x as many clothes seems a little chauvinistic.
My husband owns more shoes than Imelda Marcos, and she has 20 years on him! ?♀️.
In my original draft, I included her story. But took it out before publishing.
Thank you for your insightful articles. They help me gain clarity and understanding. It is almost as if they are a daily mediation to keep my attention focused. They keep me on the path that I have chosen which is one of contentment and simplicity.
Thanks
Cheryl Love
Hi Cheryl, this is Chuy and Jan, we also enjoyed the article and as a reminder to encourage us on our journey to less equals peace!
This article is soooo true. I now see wanting more affects the same part of the brain that reacts to addiction wether it’s crack cocaine, sugar or shopping. The need to get more and bigger is an addiction and like all addictions we must go through withdrawals to let things go. I remember going into a Japanese persons home and thought it was so empty with almost no furniture but all these years later I realized the peace that was in that space. Space=peace
Clutter=confusion
Thank you for the reminder!