Today is Halloween in America.
It’s a fun day—one I always look forward to.
When I was a kid, I LOVED trick-or-treating with my brother and sister (even in the cold October 31st weather of South Dakota). Nowadays, in Phoenix, we host a party in our driveway on Halloween night for our friends while our kids gather candy from the neighbors. It’s a fun holiday—I do enjoy it.
However, in my mind, Halloween also marks the beginning of the longest season of excess in our country:
I think of it this way:
- Halloween is…
- followed by Thanksgiving…
- followed by Black Friday…
- followed by Cyber Monday…
- followed by Christmas…
- followed by New Year’s Eve.
No wonder everybody in the country decides on January 1st they need to make changes in how they are living. Halloween through New Year’s has just equaled 64 days of excess.
Look at some of the stats:
For Halloween, Americans are expected to spend $8.8 billion on candy, costumes and decorations this year—that’s $86 for every person who plans to celebrate. Including $2.6 billion on candy (for a one-day holiday!) and half a billion dollars on costumes for their pets. And somewhere along the way, inflatable Halloween decorations in our front yard became a thing…
Thanksgiving is famous for three things: family, football, and overeating. Meals are important and so is celebration. Thanksgiving is a special day in our home with good food and meaningful traditions. So please don’t read that I disapprove of the holiday.
But let’s be honest, when the average American consumes 4,500 calories in a single day (almost twice the recommended daily intake), it’s easy to see how the holiday contributes to this season of excess.
Thanksgiving gives way to Black Friday (with some stores choosing to open on Thanksgiving Day). Black Friday gives way to Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday, and Giving Tuesday. All told, Americans will spend $90B shopping for unneeded items the weekend immediately following a day being grateful for all the things they do have.
And then of course, we have the Christmas season and all the excesses that accompany the holidays celebrated during the month of December.
The calendar is full of scheduled events (work parties, church parties, dance recitals, band performances, family gatherings, and community events). Billfolds are opened wide and often—50% of holiday shoppers either overspend their holiday budget or do not set one at all and 28% of holiday shoppers enter the season still paying off debt from last year’s gift shopping.
One week later, we’ll gather again to celebrate the start of a New Year (or in this year’s case, a new decade). We’ll eat more, drink more, attend more parties, and stay up later than we normally would.
When everything is all said and done, on January 1, we’ll stand on the scale, open our credit card statement, or take one look around the house and realize that change is necessary.
We will resolve to lose weight, get out of debt, organize the house, or overcome an addiction that began in moderation but grew into excess. We’ll know we overdid it the past couple months and resolve to do better going forward.
Seasons of extended excess often lead to the realization that change must occur. And that season of excess starts today… on Halloween.
The upcoming months are a wonderful time of year filled with family, traditions, and memories to be made. We honor our faith, our past, and the communities we live in.
But if you are often swept away by the excesses of the upcoming season, resolve today to not make the same mistakes of the past. You don’t need to wait until January 1st to make that decision.
Set boundaries on your spending. Know your financial limitations and develop your budget now for the entire season. Don’t let November & December ruin your January thru October.
Set boundaries on your celebrations. You do not need to embrace excess to enjoy this season of the year. Halloween can still be enjoyed without an inflatable black cat in your front yard. Thanksgiving can still be enjoyed without a stomachache. Christmas can be appreciated without falling into consumerism. And New Year’s can be enjoyed in moderation.
Set boundaries on your expectations. Too many of us fall into the thinking that the perfect holiday requires us to overextend ourselves. We want everything perfect for our kids (regardless of their age), our friends, and ourselves. And we think that means mountains of decorations, gifts, or sugary foods. But your perfect holiday season doesn’t require your excess. Many times, it simply needs your presence.
I will enjoy myself this evening out in the driveway handing out candy, visiting with my neighbors, and celebrating a simple American tradition.
I can enjoy this holiday (and the next one) without falling into the trap of excess. Most of those excesses are entirely manufactured by those who profit from it anyway.
About Joshua Becker
I agree with regard to the over the topness of this period. But we don’t throw the perverbial baby out with the bath water! We carve and paint pumpkins with the kids and now with our new baby grandson. We put up cornstalks and use our long ago kid made pumpkin faces hanging at the windows. We bake pumpkin everything from muffins to pies to pumpkin butter sometimes with fun tasty result and others disastrously laughable! Our grandson is too young but we all look forward to the day we hang up a white sheet and a bright light and we make scary shadow puppets.
Thanksgiving is the one day of the year we go all out on yummy foods we only make once a year. Eating one time with a lot of stuff is not the devil for goodness’ sakes… we all look forward to those once a year specialties. We always take a big family picture that usually includes friends as well as all are invited if they want – neighbors too. We are all family that day. The kids make paper turkeys with hang on fishing line over the tables too.
And we love Christmas/Solstice though we are not religious celebrants. Lots of gifts but nothing big usually. Some bought and some home created depending on the skill and tastes of each of us – nothing is criticized. We decorate with lots of homepoured beeswax candles and ornaments, felt garlands and shiny old balls handed down from all our parents and aunts et al. Carols, solstice and funny songs all have a place.
I personally never make it to midnight on New Years but I love to wake up briefly to hear the horns and shouts of a brand new year ringing out. Such a lovely positive sign in anticipation of good times ahead and good times last remembered.
I think it’s a bit sad that you and most commenters are so down on
such a joyous fun family period. We don’t go in for a ton of useless overkill shopping either but do some especially our local shops or pop up Christmas markets. We do only want is fun and not stressful and turns out there can be a lot of fun involved.
Hope you all can find it in yourselves to find a way enjoy this wonderful season instead of such whinging and negativity.. hope you all find your inner child and wonderment again. Cheers!!
Many years ago I embraced a tradition of spending the weeks between Halloween and the New Year taking stock of the past year, all I had hoped for, all that came to be, and all that fell by the wayside. I used the time to let go of “things” (i.e. experiences and feelings and habits) that were not serving me so that I could make room in my life and my heart for the new. I found space to meditate regularly to discover these truths. Somehow, I drifted away from that practice. Thank you so much for this article! You have reminded me of how much that benefits the soul! It is only November 4th. Time to light a candle and focus inward. I have a very good feeling about this holiday season. : )
I just returned from an October vacation in Spain where I spotted a “Black Friday Sale” on a car dealership in a small middle of of nowhere village. Madness.
I just returned from an October vacation in Spain where I spotted a “Black Friday Sale” on a car dealership in a small middle of of nowhere village. Madness.
Thanks for the article! We are not “holiday” celebrators in general. We don’t celebrate Halloween in any manner. Thanksgiving is family getting together and sharing a meal. Christmas is family gathering, song singing, church attending. No gifts, cards and minimal, usually hand crafted, decorations. And I love the Christmas carols! For several years, I sent out family newsletters, but haven’t for a while. I would rather receive newsletters from friends and family at Christmas, than cards with just a signature on them, which means very little.
This may just be your best article yet and I believe I have read every
single one you have written! As someone who has worked in retail for 36 years, I really have to roll my eyes at the term “Holiday Season”. It is not a holiday for those of us who work in retail. Holiday
implies fun, having a day off, spending days doing what you like etc.
Working in retail is literally months dealing with fabricated ‘holidays’ where as soon as Hallowe’en is over, it’s suddenly Christmas, it’s
Valentines Day, it’s Easter… It’s actually sacrificing family time, alone time, true holiday time to serve grumpy, greedy, customers whom no
one can make happy! And yes, I sound like I am biting the hand that
feeds me. My favourite day of the year is the Day After Boxing Day. It’s all over. I live in Canada and I used to blame much of this ridiculous excess on the US. But now both countries are equally to blame for this season of wretched excess. I passed a truck yesterday that had a sign that read, “The Christmas Light Guys”. This really hit home to me as a symbol of all that is wrong with our distorted “holiday season” thinking. My mum used to put up one uneven string of coloured lights along the front of our house. She was a single parent and this was a real labour of love as she had to
get up on the rickety ladder and nail the string of lights up in the cold. But she did it to make her girls happy and that it did. I don’t remember any presents I received but I remember the joy and comfort I got from seeing those lights outside my bedroom window when I was a child. That love and devotion symbolized the holidays to me. And she didn’t have to call a professional Christmas light installation firm…
Cathie B, You are so correct! I’ve also worked in retail in the past when it wasn’t as crazy as it is in today’s world. My favorite memories from holidays when I was a kid was having the whole family over and the exceptional homecooked meals my mother made for all. Sadly, many have passed on and the others are not able to get together. Still, we forge ahead with our smaller family unit of my son and his family.
We start to absorb and accept over the top things as normal – for instance, the company you mentioned created solely to put up Christmas lights/decorations on your house so you can compete with the neighbors down the block who decorate their entire property for (every) holiday. It really is silly, and I am striving to simplify, simplify my life as I remember how much simpler things were when I was a child in the 70s.
Thanks for this. I few days ago I posted something less defined regarding the excesses of Halloween thru New Year’s. My friends and family excoriated me for my supposed negativity. I’ve shared this post as a kind reply
For British, there is one more shopping holiday called Boxing Day. For Chinese, Singles’ Day (a shopping festival designed to “cure” loneliness by “self-love” shopping) and might be also Lunar New Year to look at. What a consuming world!
Holidays weren’t always this outrageous with spending; people didn’t have the money for one. It’s what it evolved into, overuse of credit and everything sickeningly commercial. Gluttony is something I just don’t understand, 4500 calories?! I didn’t grow up with any of those ideas. Look at the roots of these holidays, and find balance in your own traditions. The heck with the merchants.
I have always limitedmy spending on the holidays. For one thing i cant afford it. I decided many years ago not to use a vredit card for christmas. We had a christmas club account. Thats what we used for gifts. One year we used it to go to disney for christmas. That was more fun than buying presents. Now i dont buy anybody anything, except my living parent andmy friend. We decided on my husbands side it was getting too expensive. So we just have dinner.
Well said! I have twin sons who have a birthday in early December too. It is too much. This year one wants to go to a concert for his birthday instead of asking for any stuff and I am super excited about this. They are finally getting on board with me that experiences and memories are far more enjoyable than more stuff that just turns into clutter.
I guess I was lucky growing up. My paternal grandmother was very frugal and she learned the life style from her parents. Her mother was the daughter of a British minister, and her father was Native American (Blackfoot). She grew up on a farm in Rhode Island and their family of ten always had enough to eat and most importantly share with others. They made their gifts throughout the year so that when the Christian celebration of Advent was to begin, they were already prepared to focus on the birth of Christ, Living a life following the understanding of the true meaning of the season was the part of their families foundation. Also, from November through January was birthday season. So she and my grandfather, who was a first generation child from Norway, taught their children and their grandchildren the old ways; to be frugal, creative, and to plan ahead financially. So when December 1st arrived, we could relax and be able to celebrate the true meaning of the season. Every Sunday we would have the lovely family dinner after church then the extended family would gather together to celebrate someone’s birthday. Our Christmas tree did not go up until December 20th, after my father’s birthday. When it came to gifts, we had to buy a child in need 1-2 gifts before we could purchase any gifts for friends and friends. Everyone gave 1 or 2 small yet thoughtful gifts to each person. To this day most of us still try to follow their example.
Hear, hear and amen to everything you’ve said here. And, given two end of month birthdays in November and December in our family, it is all the more tempting to succumb to consumerism and excess, as we’re asked what we want for those occasions too. I’ve been trying to suggest more experiential (day trips locally) and membership (museums) or services (car detailing, computer repair) types of things we’ll use and enjoy. It sure is a challenge. Here’s to a simpler and more meaningful rest of 2019 (and this rapidly concluding decade).
I definitely enjoyed this read for sure! It breaks it all down and puts everything into a clearer perspective as to how much is so unnecessary. We do tend to over indulge. I’m going to definitely giving myself boundaries!
All the Holidays plus our little nuclear family has 4 birthdays from mid November to early January. Makes my head spin. I was so Happy when my MIL told me they were cutting back on gifts this year. Finding a happy place of moderation is hard. Enjoying all the celebrations without either going overboard OR being a Scrooge is the goal.
I’m in Australia and I’m seeing the influence of American Holidays in our stores … Trying to emulate the excess. Its disturbing and distracting, especially when I see children buying into these commercially generated events.
Great advice. I’m on board. Happier, healthier. Wish I had learned the lesson years ago.
I’m giving out giant kale leaves from my garden for Halloween this year. The gift of health!!
Thank you! I’m a mom in a mixed marriage, we had my daughter’s birthday twice (with both families) same week as Halloween, Day of the Dead, Harvest Day, Thanksgiving, Mountain Day, Christmas, Omisoka, New Year’s Eve (my sister’s birthday)… “had” I mentally downgraded the day we visit the snow as well as day of the dead, delegated birthdays and Halloween to relatives who like them more, abandoned Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Eve and decided to take up Kwanzaa instead, so now it goes my daughter’s birthday, a small thanks to my passed loved ones, a visit to nearby snow and ending the year with Kwanzaa a celebration on seven traditional values that match mine very well instead of me trying to fit myself into a holiday I never resonated with… if I find the need to explain why to anybody I’ll hand them a print out of this article. Happy autumn! 🎃
I almost forgot about Halloween this year and I am so thankful that I am not in retail anymore. Having to look at all that stuff for sooo long before and after the holidays is more than depressing. Working retail for a few years changed my whole attitude towards the holidays, most especially Christmas.
This is a great read. Also taking stock of this at Halloween as opposed to Thanksgiving – when the madness has pretty much already begun – is a great idea!
Everything about this…When we were kids, Halloween was for kids. Our parents provided old clothes, and we made all our ‘costumes’ You were either a gypsy, a ghost, a hobo, or something very generic like that. You were provided a paper bag, a bowl of navy bean soup to get you started, and instructions to take your younger sibling around the block before you started out with your friends. Parents did not go with us at all. It was complete ‘kid freedom’! Our entire goal was to fill those paper bags up with as much candy loot as possible! We loved that holiday! Nobody decorated anything except a carved pumpkin to let you know you could ring their bell. I look around at kids today and know they aren’t experiencing what we did as kids. The scariest thing we had to do every year was debate taking candy out of the lap out of someone who would dress in a cloak that covered their face, sit on their porch in a rocker completely silent, and rock slowly with that bowl of candy in their lap. We never reached into that candy bowl…. I know this article is about excess but I tell that story to show how little all the store bought decorations, costumes, etc really matter….
Well said! What a very timely message that, well, so many of us need to hear. Thank you for this wonderful message about honoring ourselves and others through the holidays simply through our presence. All of the excesses are no substitution for deep meaningful connections with other people that everyone so longs for. Thanks again.
Thank you for this timely reminder that I can stop the excess now.
I couldn’t sum it all up any better than this—outstanding! It is all true. Seeing this season clearly before living it again is a great way to get real with ourselves and live more intentionally. Enjoy it more, too!
Great and timely advice. I’ve already decided to spend less for Christmas but make also make sure I’m careful about where my money goes. It will be going to people making handmade quality items rather than a whole pile of shoddy tat! Our family have for a while exchanged edible or drinkable gifts which you then don’t hang onto. Often the can be homemade which is always appreciated and for members of the family going through financial difficulties, it’s ideal. Who doesn’t enjoy home made fudge or spiced cookies. I’ve also put the effort into buying items from sustainable sources, use recycled wrapping paper or reuse gift bags, make my own gift tags and that way I feel like I am putting in the effort rather than just overspending and letting commercialism win. Less is more. A bar of handmade, cruelty free soap made locally (so no transportation costs involved) can be appreciated just as much as a designer label brand. We need to responsible about where our hard earned money goes.
Hi Rosie,
Yes! I totally agree. We are moving more toward homemade and/or edible gifts every year. I just want to stop feeling that my homemade gifts are inadequate. That’s what I need to learn!
Keep it simple! 👍
Awesome advise! I like to have a list of expectations for the holiday season. The list of expectations include gifts, celebrations, decorations, and free time. If I know exactly what I want to experience, it is easier to make good choices without thinking and rethinking what I should or should not do.
Joshua, what a great reminder to be mindful of what these holidays are truly about! We don’t celebrate Halloween anymore, and it truly bothers me to see how this “holiday” has morphed into the equal of Christmas, complete with yard and house decorations. I agree with the comment about cheap plastic stuff (that will all end up in our landfills) being depressing. I do admit to spending a fair amount on Christmas gifts for our children and grandchildren, but we stick to a budget (saving ahead from January to November) and try to get things that are needed, useful, or educational, including “experiences” like family zoo or museum memberships. Most of our Christmas decorations have been accumulated over the 42 years my husband and I have been married, and have a lot of sentimental value. I even have a few ornaments that hung on my mother’s and grandmother’s trees when I was a child! When I do buy new things, I try to buy quality items that will last for many years.
My goal for this year is to pare down the December schedule, so that I can fully enter into the spiritual meaning of Christmas, rather than being so busy with shopping, baking, addressing a ton of cards, and so on (applying minimilism to my schedule). I will count it a success if I don’t enter into Christmas week exhausted as I have in the past. Wish me luck!
I really appreciate your discussion. Self control need be ever present.
A rule I follow is simple….
Acquire only that what you need, not as greed.
When the rule is enacted, you automatically give yourself a raise.
Marketers will attempt to change your mind. Marketers hurry to end living matters.
I would love a single, lengthy article (or direct me to the same) on Christmas alone. I would enjoy reading about minimalizing decorations, maximizing family time, and many, many suggestions for non-materialistic gifts and ideas for fun, or how to pick a very thoughtful, single gift when one doesn’t seem to have the knack!
Have you read “Unplug The Christmas Machine” by Jo Robinson? I love this book! I think you would enjoy it. Regarding gifts: It’s really the thought that counts, in my opinion. It’s just nice to know someone thought about me! I now tend to give consumable gifts like food, soap, beeswax candles, etc. :)
Christmas became a lot easier for me when a decade ago I started a gift box. It’s just a bankers box I keep in a closet. As the year goes by I’ll see beautiful thank you cards so and so would love. A funny book so and would enjoy. I get them and stash them in the box. I think it’s insane to somehow feel we have to magically buy alllll the right things for the people we love in 1 month. No thank you!
When it’s time for Christmas it’s a lot easier because of the box. I also have a note on my phone where I note ideas I’ve seen of things or ideas of what they might like, so I can reference it. My goal is to have most of my shopping done by Thanksgiving. ( exception is chocolate I wait until dec to buy that )
We also do just stocking stuffers in our family. They tend to overflow out of the stocking. But we love it. It really take the pressure off.
Consumables are always a big part of our Christmas.
Pens, sticky notes, note pad/ journals, really good olive oils, seasonings, chocolates, food nummies etc.
So just think about what the person likes, or uses, or mentioned in Aug about and you’ll start picking up on good ideas.
Every family is different. But we’ve tried the pulling names, the buy a gift $50 or less, the 1 big gift 2 small, and none worked like this has.
We all enjoy Christmas and it takes the pressure off. And I tent to spend a lot less money because I can shop during the year or as something is on sale. I tend to spend $25-$30 a person. It’s budgeted out in advance. Some years it’s been less. Some more. But it’s far far less than what most people spend and I don’t have a credit card hang over in Jan. Hope that helps!
See if you can find the old book Unplugged Christmas, or something like that. Lots of great ideas.
Thank you for speaking your mind… and mine. We have lost the meaning behind these celebrations and have replaced quality with quantity. One cannot hear the “ancestors speak” at Halloween for all the boos , and shrieks. One cannot be truly thankful when one is groaning from too much pie. And honoring the return to light and the stories of hope is lost in the mall crowds. Returning to the true meaning of these times calls us to look inside and approach the world with kinder, gentler intentions. Thank you..
It’s so true, and this is PERFECTLY timed. I’ve often thought about how increasingly… Weird? Dissonant with my inner self? I find the season from Thanksgiving clear through New Year’s. I still ABSOLUTELY love Halloween and NYE because this girl’s a born partier, but one cannot deny the fact theres quite the institution of excess, gluttony, greed, and intangible discomfort in these upcoming times. I’ve already pulled back on Christmas gifting for years, but there is a ways to go in pursuing more simplicity and authenticity. And I hadn’t considered Halloween as even being a part of it, but you are right.
Very interesting article! I love the Christmas season and I also love buying small gifts for family members and getting together for a nice meal (two days of Christmas here in the Netherlands). But i’m also very happy that certain holidays or events (Halloween, Black Friday, Cyber Monday) aren’t as popular here (yet) as they are in the US.
Your message of setting boundaries is perfectly timed though. I’m going to start thinking about spending my holidays (and my time, money etc) in such a way that I don’t feel the need to make big changes in my life on January 1st. Thanks!
I appreciate you addressing a fact of American life that has bothered me for many years. The massive excess of decorations and cheap plastic accessories that show up in stores at this time of year depresses me. What a waste of money and resources that will be forgotten in a few weeks. The holidays should mean re-estabishing loving connections with friends and family, not an exercise in massive consumption.
I don’t understand- is someone forcing you to buy these things? Why are you letting the fact that this junk is for sale to people ruin this fun festive time of year for you and your family? Just don’t buy it if you don’t like it. Or buy one or two things you especially like or make something if you enjoy such a pursuit. We do a mix of a few of these things… it’s a free country…
Throughout history regular celebrations have been an integral part of both family and community life. It’s fun and you are the one who decides the right amount for you and your family so…. why rag on others for their ways of celebrating?
Like so many other things, there are things which can be tools if used mindfully, and which are harmful if used in excess/mindlessly. I treasure our Thanksgiving routines, but it doesn’t mean we need to eat/drink excessively to enjoy the meals and company. And Black Friday/Cyber Monday, with advance planning, can help your holiday gift budget (if your family exchanges gifts, which mine does).
One thing I have done for a couple of the Halloweens we have celebrated with our children is buy well-made solid basic clothing and added decorations with double-sided tape and felt. When the holiday is over, we remove the decorations and the clothing goes into regular rotation. With few exceptions the items have been in great condition after many wears, and passed down or along for secondhand use. When we do buy items for the costumes, we keep the dress-up bin in mind so it can get extended use as much as possible.
Happy (and mindful) holidays to you!
Timely … and oh so true! Thanks so much for this gentle “disclaimer” before the holidays begin.
Hi Joshua,
Today your email arrived in a perfect timming.
The point you make at Thanks Giving remarks the fact that we usually forget the main reason of the holiday and “discharge” our frustation in food and other stuffs.
To be alive, health and have a family is more than enough reason to celebrate, and I believe it’s a minimalism concept applied to holidays.
Thanks for all inspiration!
Halloween the beginning of the sugar consumption push that doesn’t end until Easter!
Cluebug’s RV Adventures
Joshua- I love this article. In the coming weeks, are you able to show how you decorate for the holidays in particular Christmas without the excess? Thanks- Indiana Davis
I never grow tired of this message! As an adult I’ve made the decision to no longer exchange gifts. I celebrate the season of winter, enjoy classical Christmas music and mysterious lights in windows.