“The potential possibilities of any child are the most intriguing and stimulating in all creation.” —Ray L. Wilbur
Toys are not merely playthings. Toys form the building blocks for our child’s future. They teach our children about the world and about themselves. They send messages and communicate values. And thus, wise parents think about what foundation is being laid by the toys that are given to their kids.
Wise parents also think about the number of toys that children are given. While most toy rooms and bedrooms today are filled to the ceiling with toys, intentional parents learn to limit the number of toys that kids have to play with.
They understand that fewer toys and practicing a minimalist approach will actually benefit their children in the long-term:
1. Kids learn to be more creative.
Too many toys prevent kids from fully developing their gift of imagination. Two German public health workers (Strick and Schubert) conducted an experiment in which they convinced a kindergarten classroom to remove all of their toys for three months. Although boredom set in during the initial stages of the experiment, the children soon began to use their basic surroundings to invent games and use imagination in their playing.
2. Kids develop longer attention spans.
When too many toys are introduced into a child’s life, their attention span will begin to suffer. A child will rarely learn to fully appreciate the toy in front of them when there are countless options still remaining on the shelf behind them.
3. Kids establish better social skills.
Children with fewer toys learn how to develop interpersonal relationships with other kids and adults. They learn the give and take of a good conversation. And studies have attributed childhood friendships to a greater chance of success academically and in social situations during adulthood. Better relationships as a child also tend to lead happier lives in adulthood.
4. Kids learn to take greater care of things.
When kids have too many toys, they will naturally take less care of them. They will not learn to value them if there is always a replacement ready at hand. If you have a child who is constantly damaging their toys, just take a bunch away. He will quickly learn.
5. Kids develop a greater love for reading, writing, and art.
Fewer toys allows your children to love books, music, coloring, and painting. And a love for art will help them better appreciate beauty, emotion, and communication in their world. It’ll also keep them away from getting used to an unhealthy amount of screen time.
6. Kids become more resourceful.
In education, students aren’t just given the answer to a problem; they are given the tools to find the answer. In entertainment and play, the same principle can be applied. Fewer toys causes children to become resourceful by solving problems with only the materials at hand. And resourcefulness is a gift with unlimited potential.
7. Kids argue with each other less.
This may seem counter-intuitive. Many parents believe that more toys will result in less fighting because there are more options available. However, the opposite is true far too often. Siblings argue about toys. And every time we introduce a new toy into the relationship, we give them another reason to establish their “territory” among the others. On the other hand, siblings with fewer toys are forced to share, collaborate, and work together.
8. Kids learn perseverance.
Children who have too many toys give up too quickly. If they have a toy that they can’t figure out, it will quickly be discarded for the sake of a different, easier one. Kids with fewer toys learn perseverance, patience, and determination.
9. Kids become less selfish.
Kids who get everything they want believe they can have everything they want. This attitude will quickly lead to an unhealthy (and unbecoming) lifestyle.
10. Kids experience more of nature.
Children who do not have a basement full of toys are more apt to play outside and develop a deep appreciation for nature. They are also more likely to be involved in physical exercise which results in healthier and happier bodies.
11. Kids learn to find satisfaction outside of the toy store.
True joy and contentment will never be found in the aisles of a toy store. Kids who have been raised to think the answer to their desires can be bought with money have believed the same lie as their parents. Instead, children need encouragement to live counter-cultural lives finding joy in things that truly last.
12. Kids live in a cleaner, tidier home.
If you have children, you know that toy clutter can quickly take over an entire home. Fewer toys results in a less-cluttered, cleaner, healthier home.
I’m not anti-toy. I’m just pro-child. So do your child a favor today and limit their number of toys. (Just don’t tell them you got the idea from me.)
If you want more help in this area, check out my book: Clutterfree with Kids.
I disagree with the premise that children should have limited toys. Not all children are the same, not all are raised in the same social settings, not all are supervised by parents who take a daily active interest in teaching their child what is important and what is not. I indulged my child with toys, lots of toys, he had large storage bins full of toys. By indulging him with toys, I taught him how common and unimportant material things are. By giving him the toys he wanted, I taught him that there is more to life than seeking material happiness. Since he always got what he wanted, as an adult he doesn’t crave what he doesn’t have. His life is not centered around the endless acquisition of stuff, because to him, all the stuff people crave are commonplace and not all that valuable, since he had so much stuff as a kid. He craves things of an intellectual and creative nature, instead of craving stuff. So his life is taking a very different direction to children deprived of toys and thereby growing up to belive that it’s important to have more and more stuff, and that the way to feel happiness and fulfillment is to buy junk, to compensate for their lack of stuff as a kid. “Kids learn to be more creative” without toys? My son is the most creative person I’ve ever known, because when he showed an interest in something, I would buy him toys so he could explore that aspect of his creativity. “Kids develop longer attention spans.” My son is an “A” student in college, and I’d say that requires an attention span. “Kids establish better social skills.” My son has an ENTP personality and he has loads of friends and he’s the most popular DJ on an FM radio station with more fans than all the other DJ’s combuined. That takes social skills. “Kids learn to take better care of things.” My son is in college and still using his MacBook Pro that he got when he was 10 years old, and there’s not a scratch on it. The toys from his youth are still in pristine condition. He is meticulous about caring for his cars and other possessions. “Kids develop a greater love for reading, writing, and art.” My son produces is very artistic, and he produces YouTube videos and regular podcasts on Soundcloud, and he started his own radio program on an FM station, and his major is journalism. I’d say he knows how to write. “Kids become more resourceful.” My son is problem solver. He thinks quickly on his feet and comes up with solutions on the spot and implements them. People come to him to solve their problems for them. He can fix anything and he was inventing battery operated toys when he was 7. I’d say he’s resourceful. “Kids argue with each other less.” My son doesn’t argue with anyone, he seeks solutions. He sees no point in argument, only in win-win solutions. “Kids learn perseverance.” My son started at the bottom and is now an officer and a pilot in the U.S. Air Force Auxiliary, in addition to being a full-time college student. No doubt he has quite a bit of perserverance. “Kids become less selfish.” My son would freely give away his toys to kids who had no toys, or if a kid wanted a toy, he would give him one of his toys…why? Because he had so many toys, they didn’t mean as much to him as a child with only a few toys. So he gave lots away to other kids. He is always there to lend a helping hand, and he’ll drop what he’s doing to help someone. Doesn’t sound like a selfish person to me. “Kids experience more of nature.” My son lives in a log cabin on 45 pristine wooded acres high in the Colorado Rockies. He owns the side of a mountain. He grew up with nature and I taught him respect for animals, so he does not hunt. He’s experienced nature all his life, and unlike some children who visit natural places, he was raised in such a place. “Kids learn to find satisfaction outside of the toy store.” Since he had so much stuff that I gave him, he never once whined and cried about going to a toy store to buy stuff. He used his toys as a means to learn, not as the end of all life’s ambitions. “Kids live in a cleaner, tidier home.” My son’s home is very clean and tidy, since I taught him to pick up all his toys before moving on to some other activity. He had to clean up before he started something new, and he had to clean up his stuff before he went to bed or before he went out to play with other kids. So indulging my child with toys had none of the ill effects mentioned above. That’s my argument against deprivationism. Now for a real zinger…I never spanked or disciplined or punished my child, I reasoned with him, and I never had a problem with his misbehaving because he trusted me to not hurt him if he made a mistake, but to teach him how to use his mind to do it better.
Thank you Alouette!
I am thankful I did not have minimalist parents!
I am SO uncomfortable as I read many of these posts.
I do see some good, practical ideas that are child oriented here – I like rotation, for instance – but too much of this sounds to me like making children less inconvenient for their parents, and/or expecting our children to be miniature adults.
Gift giving/receiving is a tangible way to express love, easily understood by very young children. Contributions to a college fund? Great, I do this too, just remember this is a gift to the PARENTS, because they are able to receive it in the way you intend, as an expression of love. It will convey little meaning to a young child.
Disposing of toys or other possessions and creations without the child’s permission? How do you feel when someone does this to you? Do you feel loved, valued, grateful? I doubt it!
Yes, true constant clutter is debilitating, so one needs to give thought to managing appropriately, and parents do need to be in charge of the household. But constant order is not healthy either. In my life, I often think of my kitchen especially as correlating to the work of children. I have loads of gear and a full pantry, all do need organization, and I have “toys” I rarely use but certainly wouldn’t want taken away. They all need a “home” a shelf or cupboard etc., in order for the kitchen to be useful and productive and FUN to work in. At least twice a day I create a very messy, chaotic state. Then it’s time to CLEAN UP, which the rest of the family always helps with. We could have a very minimalist kitchen, but our lives would not be better for it, I would not enjoy the creative outlet, and I certainly wouldn’t feel valued as I do now. If my family started getting rid of the cookie cutters I only use once a year at Christmas, or the blender no one likes to wash, or decided we only need a certain number of items to choose from in our pantry, I doubt I would feel like a valued member of the household, preparing meals would no longer feel like a joyful contribution, and I would feel very disrespected. If no one helped wash the dishes etc. I would feel I was being treated like a servant. Because I am an adult I wouldn’t expect to be put in this position; your child however is at your mercy. If the problem is you think you are too tired to help your kids keep their things organized, this is real and you are important too, but it is not up to your child to fix this for you. Your lives will not be better just because you have a tidy space. So when you are evaluating your choices about how to declutter your life, remember a healthy life includes chaos and messiness too, and think hard about the unintended messages your child may receive.
Thank you!! I am always uncomfortable when I see parents bragging that they cleaned out their kids’ toys while the kids were gone so they could get rid of everything the parents thought was unneeded. I do agree that kids with fewer toys invent ways to use what they do have. I think too many toys CAN be debilitating for some kids, and yes, I hated having to help them clean up when they were small. But I would never presume that because they are small people that they didn’t deserve the same consideration as an adult when it came to purging their things.
Nice pseudonym. “Sea lark” in French? Either you’re trolling or have an extremely unhealthy obsession with your son. It’s one thing to be proud of your kid, but what you described sounds like somebody writing a Mary Sue character. While your “son’s” outcome may be possible, 99/100 kids who get everything and anything they want are probably going to grow up to be spoiled, obnoxious turds expecting everything to be handed to them. Take your rhetoric back to the parenting fanfiction forum and off this guy’s minimalism blog.
Hahahahaha!!!!!! I was honestly thinking that this was a little too good to be true! Glad to see I wasn’t alone ?
Your son sounds great, but some of us might just drown from our kids’ hopping from thing to thing to thing I’m the sea of toys that descends upon us from well meaning family and friends. How many trucks does one little boy need? 2? 10? 15? 20? Good grief!
I think you’re missing the flip side of your opinion. We are SUPER poor. We have few opportunities, especially with life complicated by Covid (work, etc.), to gift our children toys, or even those experiences like the zoo or museums. I wonder if you think that my children are somehow going to be deficient due to this “lack”. Hmm.
Also your son sounds perfect, so lucky you. Wondering if you have other children… how else would you know if he would argue over his abundance of diversions. I would argue siblings at home with the same toys is different than being a school a few hours a day.
I agree fewer toys growing up is a good thing. My family had a horse farm. We were always outside playing. We didn’t want to be cooped up inside. there were so many things to do outside. We made forts in the hayloft. Fought dragons in the fields and anything else we could dream up. I really miss those times.
For example, I am going to spend an afternoon cold calling potential shoppers with the
intent of getting them to hearken to my voice-over demos.
This is very true and something I learned the hard way. We regularly donate the kids toys to keep things to a minimum around the house.
Hi,
I am the owner of Champcraft Playsets. We manufacture premium wooden playsets at our facility in Ohio with Amish craftsmanship. I visit your website often and read your articles. I quite like them and surely they are very helpful for understanding a minimalist lifestyle. I have myself written an article on simple activity based toys for kids and how it helps in their growth.
Can i sent you the article for posting your website?
Great article, thank you! I’ve only just lucked upon your blog/site & am absolutely inspired to introduce these positive changes in my family’s life!
great article. My one year olds favorite”play things” are a string from a bag of mine, a small ball, a spoon, a pen, a lil car, and the keyboard. :-)
Yes to all 12!!!! We just downsized our entire house and placed it into a 10×15 storage unit to take a year off from stuff and schedules. We decided to collect moments, not things and are traveling for a year. Through the process of downsizing (which took about 9 months), our kids grew immensely in maturity and creativity and by the end even felt that some of the things they packed in their boxes won’t matter when we get back home. They began to see the world completely different.
Now that we are on our journey (without any toys in our suitcase), they have only inquired about 1 bouncy ball and a scooter to get around with since we walk everywhere all the time.
Just the other day we ordered some probiotics, which came in a box of compostable packing peanuts, and within minutes they had designed airplanes, animals and little huts. Their imagination went wild and they loved it.
I share this story to say, parents, don’t be afraid to take the leap – Joshua Becker is right on!
When you change the focus in life, everything changes!!!! At first, there might be some rub, but simply increase the time you do things together as a family and the kids will not complain.
How many toys would you leave out at a time?
This is what I’m wondering – plus what about toy rotation? Do you leave them with the same few toys or have a stash to rotate? My daughter is almost 2 and we keep out about 10 toys at a time and rotate them every couple weeks (who am I kidding…maybe once a month when I get some time haha).
Sounds very reasonable for 2 years old
What great information. I also love the advise given about mothers and fathers with stark differences in opinions on certain matters. What a calm and sensible approach Caraloon suggested :))). As for the minimalist approach, i can vouch for this theory as i see how it is panning out for myself! I collect and collect with intention to create, yet it seems to stifle my creativity because there is then too many things to make a start. My ideas to decluttter childrens toys are to designate an area/box/drawers and the child chooses to keep the favourites that fit in that space. My daughter, like me, seems to want to keep lots of things. Hence my asking “shall we put this in lifeline (charity)?” is not always met in agreement. So what i sometimes do is to put the toys out of sight, and if they are not mentioned after some time, then i donate them. Another way i declutter is to put two items in front, choose to keep one, the other to lifeline…and keep going through the items till you end up with two piles…your favourites, and the other for charity. Donating is a win-win situation, and as others mentioned, great to teach your child from an early age.
I am trying to make this adjustment to less stuff. right now my 7 yr old daughters bedroom, guest room and half the living room is filled with toys…she’s constantly getting something new and plays with it for maybe a day and tosses it to the side..how do I go about getting her to donate things without upsetting her or her feeling like she being punished by taking her stuff away?i don’t want her to think I’m the bad mommy for wanting her to get rid of alot of stuff..but it really is overwhelming..I ask her if she would prefer a neat and tidy room over a messy room and she says neat and tidy.guess that’s a start but really where do I start? my daughter is herself a gift..and a very loving caring child..I need help to redirect her “gift” so she can reach her fullest potential.thank you.
Have you tried rotating her toys? Pack some away so that only some of them are available for her to play with. Choose an amount that works for you. Then periodically switch some out. After a while you will be able to see which toys she truly plays with. And maybe ask her if she would like to go through her toys with you to find some to give to children who have none. She may surprise you. My four year old son will often suggest toys to get rid of but he also develops an immediate attachment to toys we have chosen to pass on. I’ll tell him that if he truly loves that toy (that he never plays with) as much as he claims he does then I will pack away his other toys so he can play with that one. Then he’ll say “I think maybe I don’t really want it anymore.” LOL!
I struggle on an ongoing basis to get my parents to stop giving our daughter more gifts, especially at random. For one I think it takes away from the special occasion of a birthday, holiday, or special celebration. Second, she has so many toys that two toy boxes are overflowing. I had started keeping idea/suggestion lists for gift givers for birthdays and holidays, but find that well before that occasion hits my parents have already given it to her, and that is without seeing said list. Even recently, my husband and I conspired to come up with some celebration gifts for my daughters potty training. Next thing I know my parents where about to randomly give her the same type of toy, just because. I stopped them and as usual no matter how I explain and plead with them, they keep doing it, get offended, etc. I would much rather my daughter get special experiences and activities and very much want gifts to be limited and reserved for birthdays and holidays. I’m at my wits end and drowning in toys.
My two cents, if it helps: I have a 2 year old and a 5 year old, I recently did a major toy sweep so I am super interested in this topic! The things that are left, they have gotten a lot of mileage out of, mostly items the 5 year old had when she was 2 years old: a play kitchen with a few play food items and plates; a small age-appropriate art kit; a play doctor kit; wooden blocks that have letters, numbers, and animal pics on them; big legos; a doll, a favorite stuffed animal of each, and stroller; and some balls. As they get older, they play better together and have used the play kitchen/accessories and the doctor kit a lot together and with friends and adults.
I’ve been really enjoying your posts along my journey of becoming minimalist and have found them to be very helpful and inspiring. This post however has left me feeling a little agitated.
My three sons have LOTS of toys – many of them gifts, many of them collections that they have dutifully saved up for. I have found none of your points to ring true for them. All three of them are super creative (you wouldn’t believe what they can create with or roll of sticky tape and handful of cardboard rolls), have enviable attention spans, often commented on beautiful social skills, love reading and art and take great care of all their toys. I am super proud of their perseverance when things don’t work out for them and am often amazed with their resourcefulness. I would never ever consider any of them to be selfish and I spend a lot of time calling them inside from ‘nature’ as a the three of them would live in the backyard if they could! As for arguing – I think we are on par with most families in those stakes and they argue just as passionately over an action figure in the lounge room as they do a blue tongue lizard hiding in our backyard! I am the first to agree that our home is cluttered and can often be untidy but it’s a happy mess of imagination and inventions. It’s certainly not dirty or ‘unhealthy’.
So, I think what I’m trying to say is I’m not sure these above points are necessarily linked with ‘limiting children’s toys’. I think it’s more complicated than that. I see a lot of parents ‘limiting’ their children’s toys claiming its for all the above reasons but in reality it’s because they can’t stand the expense or the mess…
No hard feelings though – promise.
I’m in agreement with you. I have a son who has lots of toys. Mostly given. He plays with everything, sticking with one or two toys for a few days, making up games, before moving onto something else, and eventually back to the previous ones, but in a different way. Each toy sparks a different bit of his imagination or skill and the types of games evolve. We are outside for at least half of each day. He LOVES painting, making cakes etc. He loves everything really, and is very sociable.
Some children may benefit from less toys I guess, but there are too many variables to consider before making such a bold statement.
I’m new to your site, but I’ve been trying to become more minimalist. I have a question that I have been wondering about. A little history about me…I’m Jennifer Johnson mother of 4 beautiful boys. All I ever seem to do on every minute available is clean and cook. Occasionally, I do what I love, which is play with my boys. I read when hubby drives as I love to read, and have no time for that, soooo not only do I feel like I can’t play with my boys, but I don’t have time to spend with hubby. I homeschool so all day I spend teaching, sitting with no time to clean. They go to play, and I go to cook and clean. After school, I’m tored and I on e again must clean, and of course hubby gets home and wants to LEAVE and no cleaning gets done, and I end up with every spare moment cleaning and never have time for myself. My question is this…I specifically don’t know when it comes to my childrens toys, what is too many? For example, they have so many hotwheels, well over 100 and how many is minimalist? 5? 10? What about toys like tops? Should I throw all little knick knack toys away? How many isn’t too many? I have thrown away sooo many. I bought them a Thomas the Train set and they have a box full of the tracks and about 8 trains. Aren’t those good for them? How much is too much? Is there a post that speaks on that? Am I making this too difficult? Is the fact they’re in a box indicarive that they have too much? My next problem is I’m a believer in if the SHTF movement. How can I store supplies for an emergency and still be a minimalist. Is that even possible? Sorry for the long post and thanks!
Hi Jennifer, I have two little boys who love their cars and trains too. It got to a point where I was sick of constantly picking up their little cars so I worked out which were their favourites (if they’re old enough you could ask them) and while they were asleep I put all but their 10 favourite cars in a box at the top of my wardrobe. They never even noticed. Every now and then they lose one of theirs cars (they don’t leave the house without a car- you know, just in case of a play emergency ????) and if that happens I just replace it with one from the box. I find 10 is a good number but a different number might work for you.
I have three children ages 8, 5 and 2. If I ask them to clean up something and they are crying and overwhelmed by the task then I ask them if they think they have too many and I ask them how many they feel like they can pick up on their own. For Ex. my 5 year old can pick up 15-20 items on his own but a few years ago it was more like 8-12 items. I allow him to have as much stuff as he can independently manage. If it’s too much then we go through it and store/rotate toys or donate. My eight year old can clean up an entire 24 pack of crayons/markers so she can have that many. My 2 year old can pick up 4-6 crayons so that is how many she gets to use.
I have started to encourage relatives to get us annual passes to attractions such as zoos, parks, museums, water parks, etc. My kid now chooses passes to a local attraction over birthday parties now. We have some great memories from all the trips.
I hope my wife would read and understand the meaning of this article… I have always encouraged my little girl (3 yrs old) to play outside, you know, among the trees,with her little bike, running around, going to parks and such… But my wife, aside from feeding her with junk food, is always giving her toys and prizes for nothing… And she’s not even giving her stuff for her age… And she always says “i just want my little girl to be happy”… It’s really hard for me, i gotta admit, every time i look at my daughter’s room i can’t help but feel a little defeated…
I grew up with a father like your wife and a mother like you, and let me tell you this isn’t necessarily a bad thing– for me it was a really great family structure to grow up in. Think about it, your daughter gets both worlds: a whimsical mother who is teaching her that life is abundant and she can have whatever she wants in this world, and a smart well-grounded father to teach her about stability and the value of hands on experiences, and earning things for yourself. I feel like the contrast of my idealistic, spend happy father and frugal minimalist mother turned me into a very well-balanced person– I’m optimistic and believe that I deserve anything I want in life because of my father, but because of my mother’s influence I also know the things I want won’t just be handed to me without effort. It’s perfect symbiosis.
My advice is cook healthy meals for your daughter and take her outside to ride bikes or go swimming– don’t worry so much about what your wife is doing, just jump in with your family and be yourself, and they will love you for it. You can even ask your daughter to help you sort through all her toys and give away the ones she doesn’t like or play with anymore, you could make it into a game. It will help you feel happier with your home environment and teach your daughter a wonderful lesson in valuing what she has and giving to those less fortunate.
I hope that helped some. Being a father and husband is hard work, sometimes all you can do is love your family and do the best you can by them, and truthfully that’s usually all that’s needed. Good luck. :)
This is an amazing response!! As a mother who tries to bring my husband on board with my ideas and ways of thinking in parenting, this is such a good way to view our differences! I hope more parents read and were blessed by your comment!! Thanks for
Sharing!
Ditto!
We have little ones and the hand me downs never stop. We end up giving a lot of them away.
Very wise. With little ones the hand-me-downs never stop. It is a tsunami of toys!
hi
ihave a question! if we have 2 room one full of toys but without window and dark but another is vacant room but has large windows and have sun view and tree views ok? if we say some children to live 3 days in rooms witch one has more interest? and why?
I keep thinking my 3 year has not enough toys but his dad thinks different. Is this a lot ? he’s got mega blocks. big lego.ball. key board. Doctor set. Play bbq cooker thing it’s small an some play food. Teddies. Playdoh an colouring stuff . Cars . A dinosaur. Books.
I think that sounds like the perfect amount!
Love this article! Just a note to grandparents/family/friends etc, please consider the parents/parent when giving gifts to kids. I have a pelvic condition/injury that everyone is aware of but they continue to give gifts every time they see my daughter. It is overwhelming for everyone and a real burden for me having to pick them up when my 4yr old can no longer cope with the amount. I have to continuously rotate, sort and donate perfectly good toys which also leads to guilt. This past xmas my daughter was given a 2nd kitchen. We don’t live in a big house but we have to full wood kitchens and since it was home-made I guess I have to keep it! She has so many duplicates and the gifts keep coming. I don’t want to be ungrateful but it does become a burden. I keep asking family to give experience gifts to do things with our daughter that I can’t do with her such as swimming etc but it hasn’t caught on yet. Sorry for the long post just thought I’d add from another perspective:)
I can relate (though not quite to the same degree!) – my daughter had her second birthday just after I discovered this blog, so I had to watch in horror as she opened present after present! People are wonderfully generous, but they do not necessarily consider the fact that we do not actually need yet more ‘stuff’. To compound the issue I work as a childminder (like a nanny but in my own home) so everyone assumes that we need lots of toys and resources. The reality is far from it.
My daughter is staunch and heaven help us if we clutter her house with toys for the grandchildren ! The rule is:
Something he needs
Something to read
Something to wear
Something he wants
We get to pick ONE THING ONLY from that list – no double ups and we are strongly encouraged to do outings instead of things! I really got it a while back when I saw her sorting through ‘stuff’ and realised we adults (who should know better!) were giving her more work by creating clutter in their house. My son has also realised and is taking his nephew to the zoo as his birthday present – cue MUCH excitement and a day out on his own with his uncle – all that one-to-one time and apromised ice cream at the end!
I love it! It’s so nice when kids are young enough not to care if a toy is supposedly for a girl or a boy.
How would you recommend in a nice way trying to tell a family member the kids have way to much toys without it coming off the wrong way? I live with them, and there is way too much – inside and outside the house. They have so many toys each room has toy boxes for them
Show them this article.
I would suggest them to buy a day’s pass…or a membership to children’s museum, zoo, etc. Kids LOVE these places….and so do I!
You don’t tell your family not to gift. You teach your children to be gracious when accepting a gift without being rude, by showing them how it is done. It is also your job to teach them how to let go of something that is of no value, no interest, or no use. It is a different lesson at a separate time that should happen in your house in your own time, not when you have guests or receive gifts.
Throw away things that are broken, regift or donate things they have outgrown, or have more than one of, and if you still have too much, involve your kids to pick a few out to donate to the thrift shop or give it to a friend.
Let them enjoy receiving gifts and also learn to enjoy the gift of giving.
Great advice. Not having a gift received as you thought it would or not received at all can be uncomfortable.
I agree with this. As a grandma, I give great thought to the gifts I bring for my granddaughter. It gives me joy to give her something I know she will enjoy. I would totally be supportive If my daughter selects an older or neglected toy (even if it was a gift I previously gave) to donate or give away.
Kindnes is the greatest gift you can give.
I agree with this. As a grandma, I give great thought to the gifts I bring for my granddaughter. It gives me joy to give her something I know she will enjoy. I would totally be supportive If my daughter selects an older or neglected toy (even if it was a gift I previously gave) to donate or give away.
Kindness is the greatest gift you can give.
Andrea, I totally agree with you. It can also be suggested ahead of time perhaps, if parents want to gift to grandchildren money in an RESP fund or bank account. Grandparents like to give clothes or toys though. It IS rude to comment this way to them. Receive graciously and do just what you said – throw away broken stuff if it’s irreparable, donate outgrown useable items, and maybe sell some stuff that is double or not needed. However, always say thank you. And, don’t look a gift giver in the mouth. In other words, don’t look the horse in the mouth. Someone gives you something, say thank you.
Also, this article is great. I could only not help but thinking the entire way through, how life would be different without the use of devices for kids and multiplayer gaming … teenagers on cell phones, and music always in the ears that we have no idea what they are listening to!! Replace that whole subject of toys for devices, and see if it would not be the same problem with similar results … I wonder and almost guarantee it would be likewise.
No. You know what rude? Buying a bunch of crap e we tell you not to and keep doing it no matter how much we say no. I am the one that has to clean up the toys. I am the one that has to clean the house. Not my kids. My kids aren’t old enough to have everything they want. And then the burden rests on the parents.
My sons toys are sprawling all over my living film floor right now. Have been…. for days. Because I’m so tired of cleaning them up. Only for him to throw them back out and around. He’s two. So of course he can’t put everything away. Maybe 4-6 toys he can put in the basket. Otherwise the rest get left. And it’s a lot.
Stop buying them gifts if you family tells you to. It’s rude and it causes resentment.
Unfortunately, it’s not always that simple. If you’ve been given multiples of something, and live far from family, no big deal. Although, in this age of FaceTime and Zoom, when Grandma asks to see the gift again, or asks over and over if they play with it…
We currently live next door to Grandparents and the gift issue HAS to be brought up. I always figure BEFORE than AFTER the gift. When the time and money has been spent already. We are pretty simple, NO glitter, LESS plastic, etc. It’s amazing how hard this is for others to understand or accept.
I agree that the truly hard part is HOW to handle this with friends and family.
I have really been wanting to downsize lately, thanks for writing this. Going to start decluttering this week!