Ten Simple Ways to Build Each Other Up

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Daniel Richard, author of Doing With LESS.

“You need to be aware of what others are doing, applaud their efforts, acknowledge their successes, and encourage them in their pursuits. When we all help one another, everybody wins.” – Jim Stovall

We are living in a self-serving, self-centered, and self-obsessed modern day rush-rush society filled with negativity and constant tearing down of others. If you want to really differentiate yourself in this world, be people-oriented and start to focus on building others up.

Created as relational beings, it’s our greatest privilege to enjoy companionship with the people who truly matter in our lives. How can we then be a source of encouragement to our friends, family, and loved ones today?

Here’s 10 simple ways to build each other up:

  1. Esteem others higher. Leaders esteem others higher than themselves. Have high regards, great respect, and favorable thoughts of the people in your circle of trust and influence.
  2. Be wise in your speech. Communicate more effectively by thinking before you speak. If there’s a word that’s more appropriate in a conversation, use it. Start with a praise. Never confront others. Instead, point out on how both of you can make things better. Speak at the same level as your audience; giving them due respect. There’s no need to come in with an authoritarian voice to get your message heard.
  3. Be encouraging. Encouragement is an expression and assurance of one’s hope and future in words, presence, and sincerity.
  4. Be quick to forgive. When others make a mistake, be quick to forgive and forget; releasing them from guilt and shame that may take root in one’s heart when not dealt with over time.
  5. Be understanding. Wisdom and understanding go hand in hand. Understanding starts by being an active listener (not planning a reply as one is speaking), asking intelligent questions to gain further insights, and being accepting of what the speaker is sharing. Then, answer without condemning. Or don’t answer at all and decide to just be a listening ear.
  6. Zero gossip. Keep others’ secrets. Never speak stuff that causes unnecessary hurt to others by speaking unclaimed rumors behind their back.
  7. Share knowledge. Found an article or book that’s useful? Share it with your friends. Sharing has been made easier thanks to the accessibility of sharing tools on the web, along with help from social media sites such as Twitter and Facebook. Sharing knowledge helps us learn, discover, and understand things that are interesting. They have immediate application for better results in our work and life, edifies our soul, and improves our daily conversations.
  8. Stay humble. Humility and maturity are synonymous. A dignified person accomplishes much, but brags little. They are secure in their standing without needing to make noise, often treating everyone with tremendous respect, regardless of position.
  9. Be positive! Positive thinking goes beyond having the drive and motivation for personal success. Positive thinking is explicit, definite, and outspoken. It’s contagious. Build up your loved ones with your positiveness, allowing them to be open for better things to come.
  10. Love. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails … And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13, NIV). Building up a person with the 9 ways mentioned is only made effective when done so together with love. Care for your loved ones how you would want to be cared for. Build up one another how you would like to be inspired. As a result, you will move up to a whole new level of breakthroughs in life.

Going one step further, visualize how and to whom you can build up and inspire changes for the better. Then work towards making that a reality.

Continue encouraging and building one another up. And start seeing growth and advancements in your relationship with people and to the ones who truly matter to you today.


This is an excerpt from Daniel Richard‘s latest ebook, Doing With LESS: Your journey as a new minimalist, and the art of stress-free living. He is a blogger, an author and a freelance writer. You can follow him on Twitter.

Joshua Becker

About Joshua Becker

Writer. Inspiring others to live more by owning less.
Bestselling author of Simplify & Clutterfree with Kids.

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  1. Deb J says

    Great post. Along with 1 Corinthians 13 the following gives us great perspective. Jesus replied, ” ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all you mind.’ This is the greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ” Matthew 22:37-39

  2. says

    Thanks for sharing these tips! I totally agree with them. It is refreshing to encounter people who build others up rather than tear others down in this day in age. This is a great reminder that we should put others before ourselves!

  3. says

    Wow! I think I had better say 50 Hail Marys and read those rules over and over again until I get it right. No matter how much we try to stick by these guidelines there are always time where we just fall short. The fact that we are constantly trying is a good thing though. I really try to stick to “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” but I am no saint. I do think I am getting better all the time and practice makes perfect.right!

  4. says

    I really enjoyed the post. It made me reflect on the close group of friends that I confide in and go to for encouragement and a feeling of like-mindedness. One thing that I often run into, and that stuck out to me in this post, is the idea of love in my eclectic group of friends.

    As an atheist, I have a parallel belief that love is not a mystical force. But, I think the word is still an appropriate way to label a range of ways that we treat and classify each other. I tell my friends that I love them quite often. This is generally well-received between those of faith and those not of faith.

    Where the disconnect exists, I believe, is that some people depend on love as a mystical force ( No disrespect intended ) that will course correct their lives, instead of working toward emotional intelligence, compassion, and understanding as tools for guiding relationships and the long journey of interacting with people throughout our lives.

    I enjoy the lessons of the Bible verse, as I am based in this set of values, and hope that as different creeds can be accepted, that the differing interpretations of the word love can still be accepted ubiquitously, though their sources may be disputed for all time.

    I look forward to the next post and learning from what my fellow commenters have to offer!

  5. Anand says

    Thanks a lot, it is really a handsome tips for building ourselves. It becomes a great materials in my research. Thank You. God bless you.

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