The Unmistakable Freedom of Contentment and How to Achieve It

by joshua becker

“Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty.” – Socrates

There were many reasons that we chose to become minimalist and simplify our lives. We were frustrated with clutter. We discovered the time that was wasted managing our possessions. We realized that joy was not found in our possessions. And we determined that we value other things far more than physical belongings. This initial process of simplifying our home required energy, effort, and encouragement.

But the process of remaining minimalist and living this counter-cultural lifestyle against all odds requires something completely different. It requires contentment. Contentment is the lifeblood of minimalism. And without it, the journey towards minimalism is short-lived. Discontent will always rear its ugly head and become the great obstacle to fully thriving in a simple life.

Not only does contentment provide the opportunity for minimalism, it also reduces your stress level, improves your outlook, relaxes your body, and makes your life enjoyable. There is an unmistakable freedom that follows contentment: a freedom to be who you are, enjoy who you are, and live the life you were destined to live.

Yet in our consumeristic-culture where discontent is promoted and material gratification is encouraged, learning to be content can be very difficult. It is certainly a personal journey that we all must travel and nobody’s journey will look the same. Truly, there is no one-size-fits-all, seven-step program to fully-attain contentment in your life… but here are six keys that have helped us further develop contentment in our lives:

1. Become grateful. It is impossible to develop contentment without gratitude – they are inseparable. And a grateful person is one who has learned to focus on the good things in their life, not the things that they lack. When you begin to question what you have to be grateful for, just start making a list – a literal list of all the good things in your life. Don’t worry about finishing, you don’t need to. The simple discipline of beginning the exercise will undoubtedly shift your focus back to the many good things you already have.

2. Take control of your attitude. A person who lacks contentment in their life will often engage in “when and then thinking” – “when i get _______, then i will be happy.” Instead take control of your own life. Remember, your happiness is not reliant on the acquisition of any possession. Your happiness is based solely on your decision to be happy – and this may be one of the most important life lessons you can ever learn.

3. Break the habit of satisfying discontentment with acquisitions. For many of us, it has been ingrained into our lives that the proper way to diffuse discontent is to purchase the outward item that is seemingly causing the discontentment. Almost no energy is spent determining the true root of the discontent. Are you dissatisfied with your wardrobe? Go buy new clothes. Not content with your vehicle? Go buy a new one. We have gotten into the habit of satisfying our discontent by simply spending more money. We must break that habit. Understand that material possessions will never fully satisfy the desires of your heart (that’s why discontent always returns). The next time you recognize discontentment surfacing in your life, refuse to give into that bad habit. Instead, commit to better understand yourself and why the lack of that item is causing discontent. Only after you intentionally break this habit will true contentment begin to surface.

4. Stop comparing yourself to others. Comparing your life with someone else’s will always lead to discontentment. There will always be people who “appear” to be better off than you and seemingly living the perfect life. But be advised, we always compare the worst of what we know about ourselves to the best assumptions that we make about others. Their life is never as perfect as your mind makes it out to be. You are unique. You are special. And it’s always better that way.

5. Help others. When you begin helping others, sharing your talents, time and money, you will find yourself learning to be content. The practice will give you a finer appreciation for what you own, who you are, and what you have to offer.

6. Be content with what you have, never with what you are. Never stop learning, growing, or discovering. Take pride in your personhood and the progress that you have made, but never become so content that you cannot find room for improvement. Contentment is not the same as complacency. As soon as you stop growing, you start dying.

{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

Laura @ PARING DOWN March 8, 2010 at 7:32 am

Joshua, thanks for this – especially #2 and #3. Great reminders as I begin my week!

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Deb J March 8, 2010 at 11:30 am

Great post. I agree with it so much. I have found contentment in my relationship with God and the rest falls into place. My worth, success or lack of, my future, and who I am do not depend on things. They come from my relationship with God. Out of that contentment in Him comes the freedom to be who I am and to not need the “things.”

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Robbi March 7, 2013 at 6:37 am

I wholeheartedly agree Deb!

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Jill Foley March 8, 2010 at 11:57 am

#1 and #5 resonate most with me.

About a year ago, I actually started a “thankful blog”. The idea was to post one thing a day I was thankful for…it has revolutionized my thinking, and I find myself reflecting throughout the day what I am particularly thankful for.

And when we open ourselves up to helping others, it nurtures an attitude of thankfulness for what we have been blessed with.

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Emily f March 8, 2010 at 6:08 pm

Thanks, great motivational post. Sometimes we need a reminder that the moment we live in is now, and the only time we can be happy is now!

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Luke @ simplifi.de March 8, 2010 at 9:39 pm

This is a great post, so much that I agree with, especially “contentment is the lifeblood of minimalism”

Sometimes I feel like there’s an element of the simplicity/minimalism movement that can have a sort of reverse discontentment, too. Where most people are discontent about not having stuff, they are just as discontent about having stuff.

Like when you said, “when i get _______, then i will be happy”, their’s would read, “when declutter” or “when I get down to 100 or 50 things, then I will be happy.”

It’s not true with more stuff, and it’s not true with less stuff, either. So I guess what I’m saying is that contentment is totally a matter of the heart, and you can have a discontent heart, no matter how much stuff you have.

Good stuff!

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deanna March 7, 2013 at 8:06 pm

Thanks for that thought…it’s something I’ve been struggling with lately. I know a clutter free environment makes me feel more peaceful, but sometimes I get frustrated with the process and the slowness of my progress.

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jonny March 9, 2010 at 7:23 am

great, i really needed to read this this week.

i wonder have you considered doing a spin-off blog, on the same areas of contentment, simplicity etc but with more emphasis on the faith/christianity side of things?

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Ginny Martin December 20, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Jonny,

I think Joshua is already doing that!

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josie March 9, 2010 at 7:50 am

great article!
i think #4 is key
i like the redesign also
:)

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Hugh March 9, 2010 at 10:23 am

For me, #1 and #6 are perfect bookends. Be grateful for what you have, but never stop learning and growing. I’ve been practicing a daily gratitude session for about a year now and I love how much it relaxes me. I have such a sense of calm that enables me to learn and grow with a much clearer head.

Awesome post!

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chelsea March 9, 2010 at 2:54 pm

Great post – I’m just starting on this road. We’re burb-dwellers, too, only out here in the midwest.
My original goal was to get rid of half of everything. It’s a job, but it’s paying off BIG TIME.

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Tracy Tan May 1, 2010 at 5:58 am

thank you for your inspiring blog!

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teresa bogener June 20, 2010 at 1:54 am

I can not quote chapter and verse but there is a Blibical scripture that says, “I have learned in whatsoever state I am, there with to be content.

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John Ashton October 28, 2010 at 2:15 pm

Hi Joshua

I hope you dont mind that I haver used your image?
http://beyondmaterialism-john.blogspot.com/2010/10/who-wants-to-be-zeroaire-i-do.html

Warmest wishes

John

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Called to Foster Momma August 11, 2011 at 11:28 am

I’m a minimalist by nature. I like everything streemlined and matching. Clutter overwhelms me. We are definatly a family with less (except by quanity of children, haha!) and do prefer the minimalist life.
Ive enjoyed all if your posts but taking particularly good advise away from this one. I often find myself playing the comparison game. Ill be making my “grateful list” today. What a wonderful reminder of the many areas of our lives we are blessed. Another is quality not quantity. I tend to buy what is on sale and not what we truely want/need. Thinking if I can impliment that it will make a big difference.
Thank you for the guidance and encouragment to improve!

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Daryl September 13, 2011 at 10:53 am

I have often held that wisdom lies in contentment, and there is no contentment in acquisition of “stuff”, it just always begs for more. I am not saying per se that everyone should become minimalists, but it certainly is difficult for a rich man (one with many possessions) to be truly content, and in such a case it is better to get rid of it all, and discover that one can live with the barest minimum (isn’t that a good definition of minimalism?)

I particularly promote the view that we live the way we do because of what were “sold” on. This means that we really do not decide for ourselves what lifestyle, philosophy or goals we want to buy for ourselves (much less what products or services we use). There is a great conspiracy to market a very limited perspective to us. Freedom means leaving this limited scope behind, becoming purpose driven and taking control of our destiny.

For some this may mean traditional success, but for others it would mean a new and idiosyncratic life design. How much richer would this world be if we each followed our own vision, and how much more content would we be if we no longer measured ourselves by the world’s standard and tried to keep up with the Jones’s? When we are fulfilled in ourselves, anything we do or have will add to that, and conversely – if we are not, all will add to our frustration and discontent.

Fantastic article. Thank you.

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Julie N September 13, 2012 at 11:46 am

I am so glad you posted this truth. Without the foundation of contentment, we can’t be content even as a minimalist. I am reminded of a greater truth in 1 Timothy 6:6.

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Adam H October 25, 2012 at 8:09 am

Thank you, Josh, for your support and encouragement in my journey

“Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”
Lao Tzu

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Pavel March 7, 2013 at 12:21 am

I like how you written that is great post. When you enjoy your life without consumer hysteria you feel more fulfilled.

Thank you, Josh.

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Karen Taylor March 7, 2013 at 3:50 am

I believe I have been enlightened by the minimalist way of living and thinking and am grateful for your many insightful posts and guest bloggers input. I am not particularly concerned I will relapse into “conspicuous consumption” BUT it is disheartening seeing people I know and love suffer over never having enough and wanting more and more. I guess I am looking for ways to help enlighten others – this “minimalist mentality” feels SO GOOD—I want others to share in the contentment.

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lynne March 7, 2013 at 5:07 am

So needed this today…Thanks

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Greg March 7, 2013 at 9:27 am

Erich Fromm, author of “To Have or To Be?” asks, “If I am what I have and what I have is lost, who then am I?”

To exist in the “having” mode is never the path to contentment (regardless of what our culture might suggest!) It is, rather, in the “being” mode where we should seek to live our lives, and adopting a minimalist mindset is certainly a good example of this! :-)

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