“Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.” – Confucius
Our relationship with ourself is the most important relationship in our life. There has never been a moment when you weren’t with you in the past and there will never be a moment when you won’t be with you in the future. We are with ourselves every moment of every day.
For some, this is a terrifying concept. They don’t like themselves and constantly wish they were someone or something different. Jealousy, envy, and discontent are common themes in their lives. And for them, simplicity is difficult to attain.
They seek out diversion and distraction. After all, if you don’t like being yourself, the television, the magazine, the iPod, or the Internet can quickly become an easy escape. This invited distraction breaks the silence and brings even more opportunity for discontent into our lives.
This is a shame. For there is great confidence to be found in contentment and solitude.
On the other hand, some embrace the other extreme. They fall so deeply in love with themselves and their own pursuits they lose all reason and objectivity. They become self-obsessed, self-absorbed, and self-seeking. As a result, they have lost all ability to think about others, admit mistakes, or show restraint. Their lives are often marked with pride, greed, and selfishness.
Again, this is a shame. For there is great strength to be found in humility and service to others.
But those who strike a balance between the two extremes are nearest to simplicity.
They learn to humbly embrace their uniqueness. They discover contentment in their circumstances. They find joy in centering their lives around others. They seek out a greater purpose than the glorification of themselves.
And for them, simplicity is nearest.
Sander Versluys says
Great words! Thank you!
Jeda says
Beautiful…. Thank you very much for sharing, Mr. Joshua Becker…. Happy new year to you and your family! :)
Christina says
For me, self-acceptance has always gone hand in hand with acceptance of others. When we can see the beauty in our own uniqueness, we are ready to see the beauty of everyone around us.
Terry Hadaway says
We all come to a point in our lives where we must choose between turning around to become part of the crowd or traveling the uncertain road toward our uniqueness. Anyone can be like others, but only I can be me. We must choose to keep moving. The only other option is turning back. We know the results of being there because we’ve been there before. http://goo.gl/wJQxF
TB at BlueCollarWorkman says
Couldn’t have said it better myself. There really are two extremes and if you launch too far in either direction, you’re screwed. But find that sweet spot in the middle and you’re set. Like Dave said though, we veer all the time, but knowing where to come back to is key.
Dave Rowley says
Beautifully put, Joshua.
Simplicity is the sweet spot between the two extremes you outlined. We all veer off regularly, but knowing where to return to is a blessing.
Sandra Pawula says
A profound point beautifully articulated! The solution for me is simply being in the present moment and not over focusing on the self in any way.
Dan Garner says
For me the balance between being self absorbed and self depricating is to realize that you are yourself which is a part of this wonderful universe that is everything that exists. It takes every little part to make it work.
Dan @ ZenPresence.com
Gene says
Well put, Josh. I will add a wonderful quote from Mother Teresa: “Silence of the heart is necessary so you can hear God everywhere — in the closing of a door, in the person who needs you, in the birds that sing, in the flowers and in the animals.”
Aditya Jaykumar says
Be yourself…cos everyone else is taken…
Another really nice article..made me introspect about the way I have been living my life the last few years…and what I have realised is that I had been spending very little time actually getting to know myself..getting the know why I am here and what is my major definite purpose…I think we all have our own ways of getting to know that inner being but for me it has been guided meditation with music..it’s not that difficult..I started with 5 minutes and gradually I have been able to meditate more and more each day…Another way to find out how unique we really are is to use our talent to bring value to people’s lives and make them smile…thanks for this wonderful article!…