“The potential possibilities of any child are the most intriguing and stimulating in all creation.” —Ray L. Wilbur
Toys are not merely playthings. Toys form the building blocks for our child’s future. They teach our children about the world and about themselves. They send messages and communicate values. And thus, wise parents think about what foundation is being laid by the toys that are given to their kids.
Wise parents also think about the number of toys that children are given. While most toy rooms and bedrooms today are filled to the ceiling with toys, intentional parents learn to limit the number of toys that kids have to play with.
They understand that fewer toys and practicing a minimalist approach will actually benefit their children in the long-term:
1. Kids learn to be more creative. Too many toys prevent kids from fully developing their gift of imagination. Two German public health workers (Strick and Schubert) conducted an experiment in which they convinced a kindergarten classroom to remove all of their toys for three months. Although boredom set in during the initial stages of the experiment, the children soon began to use their basic surroundings to invent games and use imagination in their playing.
2. Kids develop longer attention spans. When too many toys are introduced into a child’s life, their attention span will begin to suffer. A child will rarely learn to fully appreciate the toy in front of them when there are countless options still remaining on the shelf behind them.
3. Kids establish better social skills. Children with fewer toys learn how to develop interpersonal relationships with other kids and adults. They learn the give and take of a good conversation. And studies have attributed childhood friendships to a greater chance of success academically and in social situations during adulthood. Better relationships as a child also tend to lead happier lives in adulthood.
4. Kids learn to take greater care of things. When kids have too many toys, they will naturally take less care of them. They will not learn to value them if there is always a replacement ready at hand. If you have a child who is constantly damaging their toys, just take a bunch away. He will quickly learn.
5. Kids develop a greater love for reading, writing, and art. Fewer toys allows your children to love books, music, coloring, and painting. And a love for art will help them better appreciate beauty, emotion, and communication in their world. It’ll also keep them away from getting used to an unhealthy amount of screen time.
6. Kids become more resourceful. In education, students aren’t just given the answer to a problem; they are given the tools to find the answer. In entertainment and play, the same principle can be applied. Fewer toys causes children to become resourceful by solving problems with only the materials at hand. And resourcefulness is a gift with unlimited potential.
7. Kids argue with each other less. This may seem counter-intuitive. Many parents believe that more toys will result in less fighting because there are more options available. However, the opposite is true far too often. Siblings argue about toys. And every time we introduce a new toy into the relationship, we give them another reason to establish their “territory” among the others. On the other hand, siblings with fewer toys are forced to share, collaborate, and work together.
8. Kids learn perseverance. Children who have too many toys give up too quickly. If they have a toy that they can’t figure out, it will quickly be discarded for the sake of a different, easier one. Kids with fewer toys learn perseverance, patience, and determination.
9. Kids become less selfish. Kids who get everything they want believe they can have everything they want. This attitude will quickly lead to an unhealthy (and unbecoming) lifestyle.
10. Kids experience more of nature. Children who do not have a basement full of toys are more apt to play outside and develop a deep appreciation for nature. They are also more likely to be involved in physical exercise which results in healthier and happier bodies.
11. Kids learn to find satisfaction outside of the toy store. True joy and contentment will never be found in the aisles of a toy store. Kids who have been raised to think the answer to their desires can be bought with money have believed the same lie as their parents. Instead, children need encouragement to live counter-cultural lives finding joy in things that truly last.
12. Kids live in a cleaner, tidier home. If you have children, you know that toy clutter can quickly take over an entire home. Fewer toys results in a less-cluttered, cleaner, healthier home.
I’m not anti-toy. I’m just pro-child. So do your child a favor today and limit their number of toys. (Just don’t tell them you got the idea from me.)
If you’re looking for a little extra help in this area, check out my book: Clutterfree with Kids and this article on our most creative decluttering tips.
mom23 says
I almost have to agree. I have a 5 year old boy for the first 3 years of his life he was spoild rotten we didn’t go into a store and come out without a toy. When he turned 4 I noticed he wasn’t playing with his toys anymore a lot of them was educational but never the less. I told my husband he said well he is bored with them I. Replied no I think he just has way too many and can’t decide. So make the long story short I filled 3 trashbags full took and donated them to womens abuse shelter and packed up two boxes to put in storage for younger siblings. Guess what he wasn’t happy about it but instead of running through the house screaming he sat down and played. Now I have an angel child and a lot more room. If only I could keep my husband from wanting to spend $800.00 per child @ christmas it might be alright.
julie says
Balance is key. Kids will watch TV, they will play video games but if you are an active parent that will play with them, take them outside and turn things off once in a while they will be fine. I am fortunate enough to be in that age group remembers 3 TV channels and when Atari first came out but when the internet first came to our school (93) . I love both worlds and I am trying to balance both for my boys. (7&4) Its harder today but a good parent can do it.
KF says
I think this very possible to do, although difficult (if you find a way, please share). I would love to balance because unfortunately it is the way the world is going and there is a degree of acceptance that has to happen, because we have no control over it. I lean toward very minimal TV and NO video games right now (my kids are 7&8). I am waiting for when my children have more self control and can pace themselves too…..I find that the less I use TV and technology, the less the easier it is for them to walk away from it and do something else. I need to introduce the computer more…but they have that stuff in schools now.
Lori-Anne Cunningham says
If you believe toys and television further a child’s linguistic skills, watch the documentary “Babies”. Four babies from around the world are tracked throughout their first year of life. The American baby and the Japanese baby are inundated with toys and stimulus while the African and Mongolian babies have virtually no toys. They all appear to be at the same linguistic milestones by their first birthdays. The African baby specifically seems to interact well on a verbal level with his mother, yet his only playthings are old bones and sticks. Very interesting and may actually be a cause for concern that we in North America are overstimulating our babies. Perhaps this might explain the high numbers of ADHD kids?
Jen says
I believe it. We told my parents and in-laws no toys when I was pregnant, because I was reading up on how they weren’t even necessary and kids derive more entertainment out of natural materials like sticks, pine cones, socks, whathaveyou. Of course, they didn’t listen. I don’t even open the toy box now; and am in process of boxing all his toys up to donate. Since our child is walking, he’s become much more interested in exploring and finding his OWN things to play with. I have a theory that “temper tantrums” are a child trying to say he’s bored and NEEDS mental stimulation. Our child walks around, finds something to entertain himself and actually sits down to play with it. If we take it away, he clings onto it and cries. I feel like he’s saying, “No! I’m learning about this! Please, don’t take it away! I’ll be bored without it again!!” All animals, human included, were designed to be born, and live, outside. To explore, learn, play, and interact with their environment with other kids their own age. Modern lifestyle has kids living in the same four walls day-in, and day-out, by themselves unless they have a young sibling, and we expect them to be completely entertained by handing them toys. ..It doesn’t appear to be working.
mustangtali says
i blame tv. in the middle of a show it suddenly stop and jumps to a commercial, then another one, then a different one after that, then back to the show. it teaches kids to be scattered in their attention. i have cut out tv over the last 3 months and my boys have suddenly developed an incredibly long attention span. they can actually play with a given toy for hours when previously it was only a few minutes before they lost interest. i dont think its toys at all because my boys have loads of toys. and the kinds of toys matter too…things that stimulate creative play are best over battery powered things. as far as the verbalization, interaction does alot…play with your kids, not only is it fun, but they learn from you as well.
Lisa says
I love “Babies”!
It is completely fascinating and intriguing, and I thought the same as you did after watching it. I was completely taken by the African baby and their way of life.
Joy says
I’m wondering, if you only had 5 toys for your daughter age 5 and 5 toys for your son age 3, what would you have?
Lisa says
A doll or stuffed animal
A tea set
A set of wooden blocks
A box of dress-up clothes
A set of nice hand puppets
Amanda says
I would definitely include some kind of building blocks in there. We have duplos-like legos but a little bigger so they’re safe for kids who put things in their mouth. They’re great because they encourage imagination and they’ll probably be played with for many years.
Patty Dietz says
I have always thought of this and knew that kids doesnt need too many toys.Plus toys are a waste of money once kids grow up those toys goes in the garbage or donated..Waste,waste of money.I rather my do different activity like drawing reading or putting them into sport,something that will keep their active..
Estefy says
Since last year, I started to donate my kids toys, so far I think 95% are out. I still keep getting free toys of people that wants to get rid of them, most of the time I accept them having in mind it will be temporary and I will donate in a few months. Sometimes I hear from the older girls (6 and 4 years old) “where are our toys?” Right there… and I point to the closet space with (very little space) for the toys and change the subject fast, just in case. I buy them a few used books at the library, some used board games and puzzles. They are fighting a lot less. They play pretend more. Last week we have an improvised party that lasted 45 minutes were we close the windows (we want the neighbors to still like us), light some candles, turn on the volume up (way up) and we sing loud, danced, jumped (no to kids music, but to something the kids can listen). And in all that time we did not have to stop to pick up any toys from the floor. To me too much means that they are in a fantasy world and they do not participate in the real life. I want them to be present, I want to teach them about the daily stuff and I want them to learn from reality not from a drawing in a card that shows them how the clouds are, I want them to see the clouds. I have seem the 6 years old face and the feeling of how proud she feels when she is able to make herself a grill cheese sandwich that I have not seen when she is playing. I have hear my 4 year old telling me she loves me right after I teach her something… that I can not buy in the store.
cheldhen says
that is so lovely, and imaginative. I like that
Keshia says
This is actually a very interesting discussion for me. I am in the process of trying to embrace a more minimalist lifestyle for our family, and that includes paring down on toys. I wrote about it here: http://thegreatfulmom.wordpress.com/2012/08/26/way-more-than-i/
What I’m struggling with is the comments about TV. While I do not think TV is good for children and I’d prefer that our kids learn from life and from us, we do let our children watch TV. Part of our simplifying process will include getting rid of our cable, which I’m excited about, because I know my three-year-old watches too much television.
However, I know that he also learns from it. He picks up words and phrases from the shows he’s watching. Some days he’ll just start saying certain phrases, and we’ll have no idea where he got it from until we hear it on Dora or Cat in the Hat, and we realize that’s where he got it. He also answers the questions on educational children’s programming. The charaters will ask “What shape is that?” and he’ll answer. Of course, he learned his language skills and his knowledge of shapes, etc, from us, but I know he has definitely picked up knowledge from shows. He has even picked up whole new areas of interest from TV. From watching shows about space, he has become very interested in the moon, stars and planets. We’ve jumped in that opportunity to expand his knowledge by taking him to the Science Center, buying him books about space, etc, but I assure you, he has NO idea what the solar system was until he saw it on PBS kids.
Yes, if I were a better mom maybe that wouldn’t be the case, but I work from home and sometimes the TV is a necessary evil. It is what it is.
Keshia says
Wow, that’s a lot of typos. Pardon me, I have a baby in my lap.
Abhijit says
So, number of toys should be less.But what type of toys?Where to get reliable and researched out resources about them?
But at this point of time my most urgent need is a way to reduce the TV time for my kids-one 9 years and 2yrs and 9 months.The fact is that I cannot keep my younger one outside home for long time because of his asthma.I neither can send him school because of the risk of asthma attack due to exposure to AC.So,being confined at home most of the time, he has developed a habit of viewing TV cartoons.I am in a dilemma.
So,I request you all for suggestions please.
Jennifer says
As far as what type of toys….Montessori inspired toys are the best. We didn’t allow any TV for my daughter until she was 2. Then I took a part time job and…well you can guess what happened. Now I am having to tame the TV beast:-). We have a set of wooden blocks, puzzles, dress up clothing, crayons and paper. When we can’t go outside we build or color. It wears on my nerves at times because it would be so much easier to get things done if only I would just turn on the TV. So we worked out a deal, I will take the time to begin an activity with her, then I tell her that mommy will go and do some things and she is welcome to show me what she has done. So I get some things done and then come back to play for a bit or take a story break. It has taken a couple of weeks but she has stopped asking for the TV. It takes time to break habits but kids actually enjoy imaginative play and interaction WAY more than TV, they just have to be exposed to it:-). Checkers and tic tac toe and other board games are fun for older children. Books are always a winner. Once they develop a love of reading, take them to the library and let them pick out what interests them. Hope this helps. Good luck.
mustangtali says
i had the same problem with too much tv. i simply turned it off and made a rule that there would be no more children touching the tv. then i got my kids interested in books, toys, games, and anything else i could find that held their interest. family time is a great one to employ if your kids have a favorite game or book. the first week is so hard you think you will fail but after that the kids dont seem to miss the tv anymore.
KC says
He still needs to go outside, even if he has asthma. You can’t make excuses for him, and if you continue to do so, he will grow up scared and weak and other children will pick on him. Going outside and playing builds self esteem.
Give him the proper asthma medications, and employ locally bought honey as a natural alternative to allergy shots. Then make him get out and play.
Jennifer says
I have to say.. I never understood the point of having a child watch tv. It never biologically made any sense to me – I couldn’t understand the point of setting my child down in front of the tv, even with childrens’ shows playing, even with baby shows playing – with the intent of him watching it. He’s always been perfectly happy crawling around and otherwise amusing himself. He’s getting a very good grasp on language, but then again, we teach him American Sign Language so I can’t really speak on either side, either. Meanwhile, I have friends who’s mere months olds infants get angry if their favorite tv show gets turned off. Personally, that saddens me. Tv should never be that important to anyone, especially not mere months olds.
lulu says
I think TV and toys are actually beneficial to childrens oral language development which is vital for reading and writing at a later stage. Toys can be used to increase a child’s inventory of mental images, people, places and events. Toys help build vocabulary because the more talking a child is doing the more they are able to comprehend. I would agree with the author that few toys are good rather than too many, but I do not agree with comments about TV. I agree there is alot of rubbish on TV that children should not see, and cartoons are increasingly violent, therefore we should monitor what they are watching. However if children cannot access books then TV is the next best thing because it helps bring characters to life and gives insight into peoples experiences, it helps children to familiarise themselves with the five domains of language, given that they are also socially interacting with others. :)
Dana says
lulu, you need to read Jerry Mander’s Four Arguments For The Elimination of Television.
I can’t really talk; we have the TV on too much in this house. It was not, however, what I originally intended for my child. It would have helped if other adults had respected my wishes and not piled me down with this stuff, but I wasn’t mentally ready to fend it all off. So here we are.
And, well, my daughter’s seven, will be eight in November–and while she can communicate with people around her, there are kids younger than she who can speak a lot better than she does.
Part of it is that we hardly know anyone in this town–but that is exactly the point. TV does *not* teach verbal skills. Research has shown that watching someone on a TV screen is *not* the same thing linguistically as watching a person talk who is in the same room with you.
Content doesn’t matter. The structure of what TV is, is the main problem. If you want to increase your child’s mental inventory, get them out of the house and experiencing things.
If you’re not ready to do that, fine, but at least admit that’s what the problem is.
rachael says
And read simplicity parenting by kim john payne. Exact same message! I love this article!
Jennifer says
I read Simplicity Parenting and found it to be a wonderfully insightful read. TV and toys will NEVER be considered superior to imaginative play, nature, and real social interactions. I vowed to keep toys simple and few and TV only as a maybe once a week treat. I personally as an adult to not watch ANY TV. Not because I don’t have time, but I’d rather do something productive with the time I have. This society that thinks TV is educatnal is also the same society that is obese and unhealthy. Just food for thought.
Alex Converse says
Doing something more productive than TV… like arguing with strangers on the Internet.
SF says
I agree with Jennifer. I don’t let my toddler watch any TV. Because I don’t want him to be hypnotized in front of TV. We want him to explore the real life outside, not the life inside the Television box. We let him explore, play, be active, learn things naturally. And he is a very happy baby.
@Alex Converse: you shouldn’t be sacarstic to Jennifer. Watching Television does waste time for adults. You cannot sit in front of TV just for 10 minutes. It becomes 1 hour, 2 hours and sometimes God knows how long. And later, it becomes a habit.
cheldhen says
Hi Mommy Dana,
I agree with you, definitely it was not helping us to improve the communication of our child while watching TV. I think the better idea is to talk to her little by little everyday lets says be more “TALKATIVE” to our child since we are the only one who’s really care for them. When my daughter born we practice inside the house that even she can’t talk at an early age we make sure that we will talk to her even without response from her everyday until she grow up at the age of 4 now.
She can pronounce very well and of course interacting with her classmates too.
Mommy don’t you worry its not the end of time teaching our child, please be more patients talk to her anywhere anytime, or even ask her about her school everyday.
Thanks
james says
Growing up in India we never had access to the toys we do in the States. This article really solidifies why my 2.5 year old is head and shoulders above her peers. When we first had our daughter, I told my wife(we both work by the way) that we have to limit the amount of junk we have for our kid and completely eliminate TV. It really makes me want to throw up when I see a peer putting their young child in front of the tv to keep them calm. Growing up in India we made so many of our toys and had loads of fun with them. Being our first child we got loads of toys as gifts, and we didn’t know what to do with them. As months went on and we were getting more toys as gifts we would eliminate 4 toys for every 3 ones introduced. Slowly we have eliminate the junk she doesn’t play with him and are down to the few she does. Those ones being a guitar/mic, drawing table and easel and a kitchenette. As far as TV goes, the only tv she got to watch was with me in the evenings and it was all about animals(5 minutes max). She really has flourished into an intelligent/mature(for her age) child. Your childs vocabulary will expand if you talk to them and and have conversations with them on a daily basis, and not sticking them in front of the tv.
It can be tough at times not to stick them in front of a tv, but it it’s not impossible. Another we do is we always have Dinner together on the dining table, no tv and talk as a family.
J
SF says
Yup, I agree with james. We also never let our toddler watch TV. Once in a while he gets to watch baby cartoons, but 10 to 15 mins only. We never leave him infront of TV to distract him. We let him explore the real world around him instead of the world inside a television box. We talk to him, tickle him, play with him, cuddle him, and let him play on his own with his toys or anything safe at home. It makes us busier since we have to keep running back to him when we are doing chores but it’s worth it coz he is developing well and his social skills are great and he is very active child.
PrairieCoast says
How is “never letting our toddler watch TV” the same as “10 to 15 minutes of baby cartoons once in a while”? I have no issue with your parenting choices, but that statement doesn’t make sense.
Jessica R says
I absolutely agree with LULU!!!! At first, I always left the tv off because I wanted my child to learn “the correct way”. Not to mention I heard about how television can stunt a child’s ability to speak, walk, and it makes them unable to learn new things. Well, eventually my mom started her with Dora and Baby Einsteins, Little Einsteins and tons of other kids learning television programs. Well, her vocabulary was not stunted. In fact, her doctor was extremely impressed because she was speaking at an extremely early age! Now, at 3 years old she can speak very clearly. Her pronunciation is amazing, and she is not only reading, but writing small words as well! It is absolutely incredible but I owe this to Dora (she speaks and understands some Spanish), and Super Why.
Early Childhood Educator and Advocate says
I am a professional in the early childhood education field with an education to back it up. I don’t want you to take that statement negatively, i simply say it so you might take what I say seriously.
Television should NEVER be a substitute for books, nor is it “the next best thing”. Research shows that even quality TV (Sesame Street, Arthur, Blue’s Clues were some in the study) has a detrimental effect on children’s language development in the earliest years (under 2). Good quality television can have a positive effect on language development for older children, but its meager.
They are definitely not “socially interacting with others”! The only way that is possible is face to face with another person, not on a screen.
There is also no way that children cannot access books, unless their parents and caregivers do it intentionally. Books are available for free at the library (a magical place that children love) and dirt cheap at thrift stores (I got 5/$1.00 yesterday). Besides interaction with caring adults, books are just about the most important thing to provide children.
Replace the word “toys” with “books” in your second sentence and you have it exactly right. Open ended toys (art supplies, recyclables, blocks, fabric, dress up and dramatic play clothes and accessories, instruments– anything that doesn’t limit the child and tell them what or how to play with it) are great and necessary for optimal development.
Children are made to play and will turn anything available into a toy. Example- this morning I was pretending to be a “super robot” with a 2 year old, with a colander on my head and a blanket tied around my neck for a cape. He chose the outfit and invented and directed the play, and was also wearing a blanket cape and had a play dough bucket on his head.
You seem intelligent and your intentions are good, but you are severely misguided about TV.
KF says
THANK YOU!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!! It is soooo nice to hear someone agree with me. I am caring for two children (soon to be adopted) that were exposed to way too toys, waaaay (granted I’m talking all day everyday) too much TV, and many other things. There interaction with others was highly minimal…all before the age of 2 (4 for the oldest one). My eight year old has global delays and speech is her most significant one (followed by low muscle tone). I have often wondered how much TV had affected them during that time. Although TV is not the sole culprit,being “babysat by the TV” (I think) severely stunted their emotional, social, cognitive, common sense, and healthy attachment to others.
However, now that they are 7 and 8 years old….we love watching the discovery channel.
Jessica says
I do agree with everything you said but I would like to add that you have to provide a child with close ended toys as well. It provides te child with problem solving skills and when finished a high sense of accomplishment. Though i do agree that open ended toys should be more abbundant. Also for the TV thing I agree that it should NEVER be used as a baby sitter, but it can help a child with comprehension skills but ONLY when watched with a parent and then discussed after so that the child is really gaining the meaning.
Stefanie says
Maybe you think that Lulu because you have no other context beyond toys and TV for kids. Do any of us?
I learned about a boy being raised with NO TOYS. You’d think his childhood would be marred in some way, but after reading it I see that he’s growing up richer and wiser than his more affluent peers. It’s remarkably, really. Want to see the effect?
http://lauragraceweldon.com/2012/02/20/the-boy-with-no-toys/
toywill says
Very much agree with your point of view
Lisa says
My oldest daughter was raised without a tv in the house until she was about 7. After that we had tv for a year, then got rid of it again–because we missed the wonderful life we had without it. Everything changed when we had the tv, and my daughter changed. She has a highly developed linguistic ability, and has been ahead of her age in this way since she could talk. She has also always been highly creative, is never bored, and very intuitive and empathetic. I know that these traits are partially inborn and genetic, but I also believe it’s possible that they could flourish in the environment she had, in which she was not bombarded with images and sounds from the tv. She heard natural conversation, talked with me, and observed her world. I definitely do not think she suffered a bit due to lack of television. The other benefit to no tv has been she does not know who Justin Bieber is.
Fran says
No tv are not supposed to teach children how to play. You are! You, your familly and the socializong you do!
Yes games are good, that’s what the article sais…doesn’t meen they have to own every damb thing they want.