Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Tara Button.
Imagine there was a pill. It lessened your debt, made you more fulfilled, saved the planet, and tidied up your house for you. (Side effects might include smiling more.) What if that pill existed…?
I mean, everyone would be taking that pill. People would pay big bucks for that pill. All you would see on TV would be ads for this pill. All the big pharma companies would try to patent it.
But here’s the best part: the pill is free!
Minimalism, which I define as only bringing objects into your life which you have mindfully chosen to help you live your unique purpose, is a magic medicine.
So why hasn’t the whole of the USA swallowed the pill? Why has the minimalist movement, while passionate and growing, not been taken on instantly across America and the world?
I reasoned that there must be something fighting against us taking that magic medicine. While making my own minimalist journey for my book, A Life Less Throwaway, I found out what that was.
As we try to get the pill to our mouths, there are four jabbering, distracting, monkeys hanging off our arm. Yes, really.
Let me introduce you to the four monkeys of materialism and what we can do to overcome them.
Monkey One – The Advertising Monkey
The first monkey is insisting, hundreds of times a day, that buying this thing or that thing will make us happier, healthier, more beautiful and likable. We mainly ignore this monkey. We think we can’t hear it and that what it’s saying isn’t going into our heads, but it is. (Otherwise advertisers wouldn’t spend the money to make ads.)
While our conscious brain might be musing other things, this monkey is clever. It speaks directly to those bits of our brains we don’t control, the bits that create deeply hidden urges and impulse buying.
We must mute this monkey if we can, and teach our kids to mute it on the TV and internet, too. Where ads are unavoidable, like on the street, break their power by becoming mindful of them. Look the monkey straight in the eye and say, “I’m good just the way I am, thanks.”
Engaging this monkey consciously and confidently is the only way to quiet it.
Monkey Two – The Trend Monkey
The second monkey makes fun of your shoes! It’s telling you, “You can’t possibly wear that again, everyone has seen you in it. Besides, it’s out of style.”
It’s the monkey that points out that your couch is “a bit 90’s” and hypnotizes you into thinking that things you used to love have somehow stopped being beautiful and interesting.
This monkey can be silenced by taking the time to dig deep into your unique sense of style.
Spend a few hours really considering which colours look great on your body, and calm and inspire you in a home environment. Put in a weekend to nail down the shapes and textures that make you happiest.
When you consciously build a sense of your own aesthetic, you can then dismiss the fads and tell the trend monkey you don’t give a hoot if “spots are in” and “stripes are out” because you’ve taken the time to find what makes you feel fabulous forever.
Monkey Three – The Status Monkey
The status monkey is the trend monkey’s evil twin. This monkey lives inside your head and is constantly pointing out to you what other people have and whether they are “above” or “below” you.
This monkey is obsessed with being on top, because in ancient times, a human with low status might get kicked out of the tribe and starve. This is one paranoid monkey!
So now it hisses in your ear, “We have the worst house on the street, the oldest car. Look how big that woman’s engagement ring is. Everyone else gets new backpacks for their kids each year.”
The status monkey is massively encouraged by the advertising monkey. Models look haughty in advertising and on the catwalk because, whether they know it or not, they are trying to activate this monkey in your head.
The monkey sees the ad and says, “See how she’s looking at you? That means you’re below her! If you buy this designer bag, then we can go up a level and feel higher, too.”
Kids can suffer cruelly under the tyranny of the status monkey. “Everyone else has one!” is a familiar cry.
Working on getting self-worth from what you do and who you are, rather than what you have, is the only way to quiet this monkey.
Ask your kids why they are pals with their friends. It will never be because they have the latest toy, but because they are fun or kind – intrinsic things. Reassure your kids that it’s this stuff that other kids care about too. Reassure yourself of this too, while you’re at it.
It’s been shown that whether you’re rich or poor, how you feel about your status can affect your immune system and actually shorten or lengthen your life.
So please, don’t let the status monkey trick you into thinking that people with more stuff or more expensive stuff have higher status. You give yourself your status.
Calm this monkey by telling it that you appreciate it looking out for your survival, but it doesn’t need to worry because you’re king of the jungle where it counts.
Monkey Four – The Attachment Monkey
Many of us want to declutter and let go of excess items that aren’t adding to our happiness. However, the attachment monkey clings hold of all of your possessions, no matter what, and makes big monkey eyes at you.
“How could you possibly let this go! It’s yours! You spent money on it! It’s worth something! What if you need it? It reminds you of someone. Maybe you’ll use it someday!”
This monkey needs to understand that objects which aren’t being used or appreciated are non-objects. In fact, they are draining, negative objects. They’re just clutter, and a waste of the materials and time that went into making them. The mere fact that you own them isn’t a reason in itself to keep them.
How can we beat this monkey?
Well, if the monkey says you might use an object one day, choose a specific time limit. Write the date on a sticker and put it on the object. Make a deal with the monkey. This is that objects expiry date. If you haven’t used or appreciated it before the date goes up, it goes.
If it is the waste of money that bothers the monkey, try and sell it to make a return. But think of it this way, it’s even more a waste of money if it’s sitting there making you feel guilty. Who wants to spend money on an object that makes them feel bad every time they see it?
When it comes to mementos, instead of clinging to them all, satisfy the monkey by picking one or two special items that can do the job of all the items you don’t use or look at.
These four monkeys all claim to have our best interests at heart, but at the same time they’re all trying their very best to stop us doing what will actually make us happier, less debt-ridden and more connected to what really matters.
Treat them as you would treat any monkey: kindly but firmly.
Say, “Thanks so much for the advice, but at the end of the day, you do not know what’s best for me… you’re a monkey.”
Then take the pill.
***
Tara Button is the creator of Buy Me Once. She is also the author of A Life Less Throwaway: The Lost Art of Buying for Life. Through her writing and speaking, she inspires a lifestyle of reliable and responsible consumption.
The only one of these that calls to me is #4, the attachment monkey. One twist on it that gets to me is this, “I have room in the basement, so why not keep it in case I might need/want it.”
Their is a greater “fifth monkey” more like an APE. The convenience Monkey. You know the one that makes everything a little more convenient if only for a moment. That’s the one that grabs me.
Yes!!! The “just in case” stuff: Like three scissors in the house or baskets to hold things or extra bedding in case someone stays the night or a ladder…
Oh, Monkey three has a name for me. I called him one day to say “Hi” and we talked clothes. I told him I am a minimalist and I don’t like colours on top, but love them on my bottoms. He said, “But dark colours make you look old!”
I was pretty upset with him for a few days. I have worked VERY hard to look at items as not necessary. I can go into a mall and walk out with chocolates and gourmet popcorn – consumables. Luckily, he didn’t break thr work I did FOR YEARS to get here. I STILL hate malls and I STILL hate shopping.
At times these monkeys can get me. The first one, is more likely to grab my attention when I am looking for ideas on an issue I am working on. For example a paint color idea or a quality paint if I am planning to change the wall color in my home. At least it is because I am looking for something I already decided I need or want.
The Status and the Trend Monkeys, I do fight off quite frequently. But, I do see a lot of progress and this brings contentment. Thankful to posts like these. They help keep me reminded of what I know deep in my heart how I want to live.
The last one, is the hardest. The Attachment Monkey. Making progress, but, that is a tough one.
Very helpful perspective. Thank you. Helps renew my commitment to making these changes.
As I grow in my Christian Spirituality I believe those monkeys are the devil. “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”
Love this?
I am not Christian but i love it. yes these devils controls our life and pockets
Great Article
I really liked this post. I read it right before getting ready to do a big de-clutter of the house in preparation for a move. For me, the fourth monkey can be the hardest to shake–letting go of sentimental things or things that have meaning/value to me. But I liked the advice from Tara and from Joshua’s book “The More of Less” to choose the best to keep and actually use it or display it.
The urge to declutter was building up very strongly in me. It has been encouraging to find an online community of people already on the journey and encouraging me to keep going!
there are fb comunity for decluttering
Great analysis! I might have divided the last into two monkeys: attachment and scarcity. Or perhaps emotional dependency and scarcity. Both result in attachment to objects, but the root is rather different. Hmm, lots to think about here.
I was once all of those Monkeys —
I’ve always love the sight of an open loft lifestyle. It took a lot to get rid of stuff . Best thing I’ve done, I’m more happier, relaxed, no more loss of time cleaning stuff that just sat there. I love my light weight life and have more time to focus and enjoy a meaningful life.
Things are just that THINGS. Inanimate objects the possession of which only adds to our responsibilities to maintain them in order to keep them. Taking much precious time away from engaging in activities which are more important. Like letting those we care about know they are loved. Love comes from the heart not Walmart. Kudos. Giving of yourself is a great monkey repellant.??
Thanks , this type article is so helpful with my new journey of embracing minalism. ??
Very helpful article. Thank you!
I love this post! Great analogy! This might be a good one to share with children. I’m going to use it to curb my impulses, too. Just imagining a monkey sitting on that new blender or wearing that cute blouse will make me giggle, but will help me decide if it looks better on the monkey than me. :). Sometimes all I need is a second to step out of my very well established shopping addiction. Thanks for the idea!
Wow ! This article is such an eye-opener.
Never knew, that being evolved from Monkeys into a better race, we are still being tricked and duped by them.
I was thinking the same thing. These monkeys appeal to our primate brains, which did not evolve to navigate the world we currently live in. It’s fascinating. If you’re interested in this further, I’d suggest checking out Guy P. Harrison’s books, particularly THINK and GOOD THINKING. He talks about how (from an evolutionary perspective) our brain spent more time in the wild than it did in urban environments, and it’s not necessarily equipped to handle modern life naturally. We need to continually hone our critical thinking skills to better manage modern-day life.
Excellent analogy.
This was a great article.
You’re point on advertisement is so true: our unconscious minds absorb it all. When I’m feeling down about myself, I still have the to fight the desire to buy myself “a little something” to feel better. It takes a conscious and disciplined approach to realize that shopping is not how you fix these problems. Bad monkeys!
Too true, Ola!
Bad monkeys :D Sometimes I feel like there isn’t simply one monkey that is telling me to buy something, there is a whole army of monkeys.
“When you consciously build a sense of your own aesthetic, you can then dismiss the fads”. So very true and simple. I will use it to help get the monkey off my back. LOL
This is great way to put things into prespective. Many of these reasons for keeping things are listed here.
Thank you.
This is fantastic! Thanks!! I was laughing about some of the monkeys, it really hit home.
Powerful post! I’ll be sharing this one for sure. Thanks!
Nice! “No more monkeys jumping on the bed!”
This was excellent perspective! Thanks for the clear analogy.