Note: This is a guest post from Eric Ungs of Unless You Care Project.
“Being a minimalist means that you value yourself more than material things.” —Brian Gardner
We often think of minimalism as shedding away our external possessions and living with only the essentials. Certainly, this is very much part of it.
But I am learning the journey is not just external, it is also internal. To experience true abundance from minimalism, it must start within.
Just as some people accumulate things to create a false identity or pursue a mythical state of happiness, eliminating yourself of possessions without coming from a place of inward truth is short-sighted. They are disconnected.
Living an abundant life derives from traveling a journey of intentional self growth. It’s functioning through your true self to live a simple life. It’s getting good at being simple. Self simplicity becomes the clarity in which you find meaning. It’s the removal of the unnecessary. It’s the discovery of what you value most.
Self simplicity is the intersection of self-care and minimalism.
As you begin to focus on your inner self, minimalism becomes the by-product. (tweet that)
Here are 5 simple ways to live an abundant life through self simplicity.
1. Simplify your wardrobe.
Two years ago, I adopted a minimalist wardrobe. A solid colored t-shirt, jeans and a pair of Vans sums up my daily wardrobe year round. It’s the attire that I feel most like myself in. Because of this minimalist approach, I am able to eliminate unnecessary energy that gets put into what I wear. It spares me a few more minutes in the morning to sit at the table with my family for breakfast before we all head out the door. It results in one less source of stress and anxiety within my day.
2. Eliminate digital distractions.
As our mobile device is the bridge that connects us to the world, it’s also the very thing that pulls us from living in the moment. For the past couple years, I’ve removed all notifications on my phone. It no longer is a constant distraction that pulls me from the present moment.
One Saturday evening while my wife and son were gone, I had a sudden impulse to remove the TV from our main floor family room—the room where we spend most of our time. Since then, our family has become much closer and our focus is no longer fragmented. We play more, we have spontaneous dance parties, we listen to music and sing together, we grab our own books and read, and we have quiet time together.
I even began noticing glances at my watch would allow different levels of anxiety to creep in. My ego would spew off all the things I should be doing instead of what I was doing at that moment. So I no longer wear a watch. It’s eliminated a feeding source for my ego. And the anxiety that would creep in from wearing a watch has since subsided.
3. Focus on your art, not your job.
Most people dislike getting up in the morning because of the job they have. The unfortunate reality is we spend a third of our lives in the workplace. So why do we drudge through it working for the weekend?
Changing your mindset in how you approach your job opens up life’s abundance. It no longer becomes a balancing act of work and life, but becomes life itself.
Remove yourself from the cog-like behaviors and pour your unique abilities into all that you do. It makes getting up in the morning a lot easier. This shift in mindset has transformed how I work.
Previously, my daily goal was working towards a promotion, a more prestigious title, and a larger paycheck. That’s it. Since practicing self-care, office politics has become less attractive, the race up the corporate ladder no longer serves a purpose, and the prestigious titles are now just words.
Focus on the difference you can make by the work only you can do. New meaning will immediately arise.
4. Learn to say no to things.
I used to feel like I had to say yes to everything thinking that’s what the path to success looked like. Often times these commitments and obligations I agreed to caused unnecessary stress and friction within my relationships: family, friends, colleagues.
The ability to say no provides space in my life to focus on the things I value most. It’s not about being involved with everything, but rather involving myself with the right things.
5. Embrace the mundane.
It wasn’t until I committed to traveling a journey of intentional self growth that I discovered where life is really lived—in the mundane. Life is lived in those in-between moments we often hurry past. It’s in the car rides to daycare, standing in the grocery line with your son, reading to your kids before bed time, or clearing off the dinner table as a family.
It’s all the things that are part of our days that we tend to gloss over. But these are the simple memories that last a lifetime. These are the experiences that write our story and shape our lives. It’s those simple things that matter and become the things we appreciate most.
I didn’t set out to become a minimalist. It was born through self-care and committing to travel a journey of intentional self growth.
But through self simplicity, abundance was found.
***
Eric Ungs writes at Unless You Care Project where he helps others lead a life of intentional self growth. You can also find him on Twitter.
About Joshua Becker
Dear Eric,
Thank you for this insightful article. Less is more.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote, “In character, in manner, in style, in all things; the supreme excellence is simplicity.”
Each point in this post is a seed of wisdom. This gives rise to truth and the brilliance of a light I am drawn to.
Each contributor tilled the soil you have sown. Indeed, everyone benefits. Thank you.
We all enjoy the fruit of simplicity on a foundation of choice.
Because I can:
I choose not to own a television
I turn gadgets off at 7pm
I am phone free Sundays
I downsized our home size
I declutter every month
I eat healthy and deliberately
I uninstalled Starbuck’s App
I use Facebook for business only
I don’t Twitter
I cancelled my LinkedIn account
I have unsubscribed excess email
I plan meals and shop accordingly
I give unworn clothes away
I choose one Christmas present
I choose one Birthday present
I say less
I judge less
I don’t go to Malls
I shop online specifically
The list is perpetual…
Every day is a cluster of decisions. The tall of my life was uncovered through a fall and not a find.
For some, the first step to simplicity is deliberate. You chose.
For others, like myself, the drift to simple was cultivated through trauma and loss.
A bush fire is synonymous with burning the dross in life away and allowing the shimmer of abundance.
I have grown to realize that all the extras in time and money were simply a gross exaggeration of my innate beauty. It was there all along. The fire of a trial revealed the beauty of life and it’s true meaning.
Simplicity is a perpetual motion in my life that extends to others on a daily basis. I give what I love and don’t need.
In my opinion, our next generation needs to see the tall of simplicity by example.
Most recently during a trip to Sydney, Australia, my thirty one year old daughter said, “I am becoming a minimalist mum. Thank you for your example.” She was so content and the riches outweighed anyone’s net worth.
I am a personal assistant to a famous person. My job is to streamline and simplify their life.
Simplicity cries from the war zone of most lives :)
Once again, thank you for the seeds of change.
❤️ All of this!
I have a deep desire to live minimally….my quest to declutter has been ongoing for a few months now. Yet as I tackle the latest removal, I have found myself caught up in internal emotions unknown to me before, is it anxiety, is it fear of letting go……I had no idea wanting an ordered space would through me in such turmoil.
Thank you for your articles, they have helped me greatly.
Thank you for helping me living a more minimalistic life. This is an amazing article.
If it where not for this mini iPad at 5:30 am, I would not have read this entire post and its replies, I’m just sayin’. When it’s really quit and I begin my day I have taken a few moments to be fully engaged in the moment and in the mondane. I love this minimalist post. Thanks for sharing.
I like your idea of not wearing a watch. My job requires me to always keep track of time so a watch is much needed, but I think I’ll leave my watch in the office at the end of the day.
Great article. Thank you for writing!
xo, michelle @ dritgirl.com
Hi Joshua and Eric.
This is an excellent reminder of how much focusing on self, or the little things, can lead to big outcomes in the quality of your life.
Point 2 – Eliminating digital distractions – is a huge takeaway that I too advocate. I believe that an overload of information is a real problem in society, especially for the younger generation. It’s becoming prevalent that in-person social skills are becoming a dying art, one which I feel is most important for the future harmony of our race.
Social interaction aside, information from news and the media is strongly influencing the young (and older) minds of the current generations. Our understanding of concepts such as integrity, honesty, community and love are becoming skewed, which I’m sure is hampering attempts at global peace and an overall realisation of what matters most.
How can you remain positive when constantly bombarded by the (mostly) negative news cast by the media? It breeds cynicism, hatred, mistrust, and skepticism and unhappiness, amongst other things. Or it did with me at least.
I wonder if, aside from removing a television, have you tried a Low Information Diet? Essentially, removing any form of media, news, or ‘brainwashing’ material from your life in the first person, constitutes a LID. I’ve been practicing this for over 3 years now and I find I miss out on nothing important, yet my mind is free of the clutter, violence, mindless facts and useless information that the majority of media publish every day.
If I do want to know the current affairs of the day, I simply ask someone else. They’ve made the effort to research it for me! Sure, if it’s relevant to me then I investigate further (to avoid hearsay), but this approach has significantly minimalised the information I am consuming every day.
Just to clarify, the elimination process includes newspaper, television, radio news, blogs etc. Anything that is irrelevant to my daily journey and attempts to become better and inspire others to live their cause. Everything becomes easier. My meditation isn’t interrupted as much, my days don’t revolve around a 6pm news sitting, and I’m altogether a much happier person NOT knowing who’s cat got stuck up a tree in Germany…
Eric, your concept of self-simplicity is an excellent way to become re-introduced with what really matters, and to pave way for abundance in these areas of your life. Being bombarded by useless facts and figures is a sure way to kill creativity and dreams, so I’m an advocate of information minimisation, and I hope these thoughts are of benefit to your readers.
Cheers,
Jason – http://www.kickstartacause.com
Thank you so much for the wonderful post!!
Hi Erik,
Brilliant post!
I love advice number 1. And you’ll be glad to know I go to work and shop around wearing the same thing as you: tshirt, jeans, instead of Vans though I wear a running shoes. It’s comfortable and it’s who am I. But more importantly, as you pointed out, it lessens the time spent in front of the mirror and gives me more time to build my relationships with my family and the people around me.
I love being a minimalist.
Luna
Hi Eric – excellent post. We got rid of our TV countless years ago and I haven’t worn a watch for years. Enjoy life simply and enjoy life slowly! That’s where the joy in life is.
Its sad isn,t it that if you don,t look at your mobile every hour we think the world would end, i went out for the day and thought next time i am going to leave my phone at home, as for the t.v and papers boring, i turned the t.v off for a whole week and have done this from time to time and its amasing what you can get done, when i move house soon no t.v and i wont miss it, also maybe no internet either which will be hard but eh this has to mean new opportunities and earlier nights to bed, get up earlier and achieve far more than looking/reading the same old stuff on my laptop, i am going to embrace this new season, we certainly over complicate stuff don,t we, no wonder we walk around in a fog and lose our way, thanks for the great reminders we all need to simplify our lives
Jacqueline xxxx
I’ve been on my own minimalism journey for 10 months now.
Congrats Melinda! :)
Thank you. It really does lessen the stress!
Melinda, I love your website :)
I’ll be back to read more.
Thank you so much, Judy! I hope you say hi while you’re there! And remind me where you saw me!
Oh my gosh, you write so beautifully. I love the part about life is lived int he mundane. I try so very hard to be present with my two year old Mabel. thank you so much for sharing this!
Thanks so much for reading Clare :)
When my husband and I decided to retire, live frugally and travel full time in our 19 ft RV, we began living a very simple lifestyle. I mean, how many clothes can you fit into a small cubbie (no closet)? And our 40 gallon water tank needed to last us about a week – yes, including showers. As electricity came mainly from our batteries and solar panel, we were very frugal with it. We had a small TV but rarely electricity to run it much. We did enjoy satelite radio, reading, cycling(we had little fold-ups), and cooking, and getting to know new places and people every day. After seven years, we settled down in our very favorite place of all and a little cottage just under 400 sq., and couldn’t be happier. We still retain the simple lifestyle we learned so well in those seven wonderful years on the road. Life is good.
That is so amazing Pat. Great for the both of you. Thanks so much for sharing :)
For years, I’ve been a slave to my home. Every day off from my job was spent cleaning…and it never seemed clean. I always said it would take days to get the house really clean…and I never had that kind of time. Recently, I truly broke a barrier and let go of sentimental clutter that was holding me back. What a difference! Now cleaning is a lot easier and the house looks great. I want to go even further and paint…and declutter the walls a bit. I’ve been afraid to take on the challenge, but if my husband preps the walls, I should be able to do the rest. :)
I can so relate to this. We have a dog that sheds and the hair drove me crazy, which would bleed over into other areas of my life. These trivial sources often disguise themselves throughout other parts of our lives. Since self-care, I’ve learned to let it go. So much more enjoyable. Good for you and thanks for sharing!
The mundane should be embraced…these are the rituals of our lives and become the sum and the whole of our most of our days. Moments to treasure in their simplistic beauty. Great post.
You got it Stacy! Thanks for reading.
This is lovely. I still covet the better title and the respect I put upon it, but I am getting better at not taking my phone everywhere I go. I never did wear a watch.
Thank you for your insights.
https://motherteacherartistwoman.blogspot.com
Lovely and inspiring post i must confess. I am guilty of some of the aforementioned stuffs, and i guess some adjustment would be made. Thanks so much for sharing
A little over a year ago I got rid of my cell phone. Gasp. I know. I’m probably in about the 1% of the population who can do that. I work from home and have a landline (caller id and I keep the ringer off!) I can afford a cell phone no problem but feel infinitely lucky that I do not have one or need one – really, I’m not exaggerating! It is very liberating not to be tied to a cell phone. Maybe some day I will get one again but for now I’m living it up!
That’s spectacular!
I left my home once and forgot my phone and I was out and about the world for about 3 hours without it and it was awesome. I was running errands and one of the errands was to bring home a Pizza. How could I order a Pizza without a cell phone to call it in? God Forbid!!!
I actually walked into the restaurant and ordered it and sat down for about 8 minutes and waited for it and had a nice conversation with another customer. A human interaction that never would have happened if I had my cellphone…
Eric, great stuff. #3 is resonating with me at the moment (Focus on your art, not your job.) It’s so top of mind right now that I can’t read enough material on this subject. I’ve got what seems like a great job on the surface – and most days it is fine – but I still struggle every day to find any sort of meaning in it, and I’m always counting down the days until the weekend/vacation when I finally feel alive. If you have any books or articles you’d recommend that further explore this, I’d love to read them.
James, I do! Shoot me an email at unlessyoucareproject at gmail dot com and I will share.
I think eliminating digital distractions (and distractions generally) is very important for your state of mind, but it is amazing how foreign this seems to non-minimalist.
One of the senior partners at work was amazed that I don’t read the local newspaper (which is a pretty sub-standard newspaper that isn’t worth the time it takes to read), but he has read it every day for 35 years and can’t even contemplate removing this distraction from his life.
And the idea of not having my emails synced to my phone and tablet just enraged him. I truly think that he has come to need this sort of distraction in his lifeet and am concerned about his ability to adjust once he retires at the end of the year!
I would much rather be digitally disconnected and enjoy a bit of peace. That way I can leave work at work!
I have not deleted the Emails from my phone yet, but am close. I spend 8 hours plus per day at work in front of a computer and anyone that needs me at night (which isn’t often) has my phone number. I do not need to be reading emails at night when I should be hanging with my family.
I am getting rid of it today…. Thanks for the push!!
Wonderful post! Physical decluttering leads to mental decluttering, and vice-versa. :-)
I need to make a sticker with all 5 guidelines. I need to read it every day, as soon as I wake up. However, easier said than done. 2 and 4 are by far the hardest to follow!
Great read, Eric! I have felt myself being very distracted by the abundance of technology in my life lately and how it prevents me from being fully present at times. Especially the TV and social media. It’s interesting that you no longer wear a watch, as I find myself doing that with my phone too where I feel guilty if I’m watching the minutes fly by and I’m not doing anything “productive”. A wonderful reminder to us all to just embrace the simplicity that life can hold!
Nailed it! Embrace the simplicity of life. Thanks Christina!
Embracing the mundane.
We can all be good at our job, at our art, or be good simply at being good! But sometimes we neglect all the beauty there is in our everyday routine (which some people call “rut”).
This point has given purpose to all the other 4 points.
Thank you.
#3: “Focus on the difference you can make by the work only you can do.” I went back and re-read the entire post a second time. This is the quote that jumped out at me. Each of us has something to offer the world, even if we think we don’t. We can easily show small acts of kindness to another human with a smile, a touch, a $5 dollar bill to the man on the corner with a cardboard sign. I think of it as “gifting myself” to humanity. My latest goal (which stemmed from recently having to deal with state and federal government call centers}: I am exceedingly nice to people who have phone jobs. I chat with them exactly as if they are an old friend. I effuse delight and laughter. I think they have dreadful jobs and why not be a bright spot in their day? You would be amazed at the results from the other end! Try it!
That’s beautiful Lori!
Learning to say no to things was probably the one thing I had the most difficulty with. Once I was able to master the art of saying no and that no is a complete sentence, the stress in my life was greatly reduced.
It’s so freeing! :) Good for you.
Thanks Eric. I have seen some of these things happen already. I feel insanely happy looking at a tree or a lady gardening. I can give away my most beautiful dresses easily. It took time, but it worked a lot like you said. The biggest change is in my diary. From twenty pages of analysis per week, i am down to two or three pages per month.
That’s awesome Rakhee! The attachment of things no longer becomes part of your “identity”. Once this happens the world opens up.
Eric, I am glad to hear you found ways to make your time more useful.
I stopped ironing my clothes 3 years ago not because I hated ironing, but because I saw an opportunity to reduce the stress in my life.
I do not go many places that require me to be pressed.
I iron only when I am going outo to a fancy place.
I have not missed it. Clothes get wrinkled anyway so I make sure they are clean.
I have gained so much freedom.
I am new to the concept of minimization. Although I have had many of these things happen to me by accident over the last several years.
After I lost both of my children, I started to look at life a lot different. Step one was I had to learn how to survive, but after I came through the dark tunnel of grief, I realized I had been doing it all wrong. Prior to their losses I said yes to everything and worked 60-70 hours a week. Visited the ER a couple of times in the middle of the night because I thought I was having a heart attack. It was just anxiety.
I now try to spend my time taking in life. I’ve learned to say no and its amazing how quickly they find others that say yes because they are wanting the big title and promotions. I do my job, but its no longer my life, its a paycheck. I have less stress at work and my relationships are stronger with co-workers and clients. I do what I can.
I now get my inner peace by spending time with my wife and dog. I help others men through the loss of grief. I found a sense of purpose I never had when I use to chase the money. It’s illusive, but finding inner peace is possible when you learn how to control the outside influences. Don’t get me wrong, I still have to check myself once in a while and remind myself to take a deep breath or to put something on the back burner. It’s hard for a Type A personality, but blog posts like this are great reminders. Thanks for sharing this Joshua.
“2. Eliminate digital distractions.”
For me, this is by far the most needed — albeit the most difficult — of the ways that you shared.
I can easily waste away a day doing stuff online. That doesn’t necessarily even mean it’s work, but at times I can convince myself it is.
Perhaps I need an intervention. Where someone comes and takes all of my electronics away from me and makes me sit in my house without the ability to connect.
You should try it. Some Saturday disconnect entirely. Where I put most of this conscious effort is when my kids are in the room with me. If they are, I leave the device alone. I have such little time with them, I don’t want to waste it by surrendering to the urge of needing to “check in” on my device and various digital outlets. Thanks Brian.
I agree that Digital Distraction is a huge problem. We are constantly waiting for that next “chirp” from our phone. Why? what do we really think it is going to say that is so important.
I have recently purchased an Apple Watch and I know that might seem like more of an electronic leash, but in fact it has helped get away from my phone. My kids and wife can reach me whenever they need to, but I can put my phone away when out and about during the day without the constant checking of emails and updates. I have a daughter off in college and my other in Europe for the summer and need to be reachable.
We should not shun technology, but use it more wisely.
I love the last point – ‘Life is lived in the mundane!’ That is so beautiful and profound. Life really truly is lived in those mundane, small moments which we hurry past. I actually wrote a post about this a few days ago, when I realized I have been hurrying past almost all of my life, waiting, running towards something in the future where I feel my ‘ideal’ life exists, whilst my current real life is just passing me by. http://brownvagabonder.com/2015/06/08/these-moments-are-life/
Thanks for the post!
Discovering joy in the mundane just opens up life. It becomes richer. Thanks!
I like the idea of minimalism being a by-product. I’ve always thought of it as a means to an end– a tool for living well– but your point is well taken! Once we have given our lives to that which matters most, it will look that way both inwardly and outwardly.
Exactly. Life has to be lived through us. When we surrender to this, minimalism then does become a by-product. Thanks Daisy :)
Indeed! Our inner life is definitely what sets the tone for our outer life. We also choose to avoid distractions like television (we actually decided to go fully television-free almost 3 years ago after years of having one living in the closet), notifications on phones (except work phones during business hours — but even those are limited to actual phone ringing and texts), and keeping a clock off of our person and out of our living room.
The other thing we’ve done is eliminate a clock from our bedroom. I found it helped to eliminate some of the stress in “my baby is up again?” or “didn’t he just nurse 1.5 hours ago?” This way, I can simply attend to him without grumbling about time. It helped me.
Good for you on the no TV Kariane! With just having a newborn, not having a clock in the room is essential. Thanks for sharing :)
Just read something above that shocked me!!! You are going against the modern culture yet you march your kids off to DAYCARE!!! Please explain. The best place for children is their own home with people that love them. Children grow up sooo fast it will be over in the blink of an eye.
I don’t think it’s appropriate for you to demand an explanation for how someone raises their kids. The tone of this comment is not kind at all. You wouldn’t say that in person would you?
Thank you for this article. My husband and I are always looking for suggestions on how to simplify and enjoy our family!:)
Minimalist doesn’t mean u don’t take your kids to daycare that’s quite irrelevant no offense but try to have a more open mind.
I had my family with my children at one point, opened a daycare while pregnant till my lil girl went to school, then decided instead of working to go back to college for nursing….but everyone does not have an option, Especially if they don’t have family around. I feel it depends on the situation not sit in judgement. As long as we do the best we can and spend quality time with our children and the family is happy then who is anyone to set exact rules. Everyone might love to stay home with their child, but making sure they have a roof over their heads, food in their bellies, and essential bills paid may not be an option for them. I know great moms that have children and have to work and have a great relationship with their children, they spend time together, doing homework, eating together and go camping ect..
So true! More is not necessary better, sometimes the things you buy, have a tendency to enslave its owner, with increased worry about time, phone.notifications an tv sucking the life out of family life! I think you hit the nail on the head with your article! I do agree an I also believe in the tiny house movement, less is usually more!