Note: This is a guest post from Eric Ungs of Unless You Care Project.
“Being a minimalist means that you value yourself more than material things.” —Brian Gardner
We often think of minimalism as shedding away our external possessions and living with only the essentials. Certainly, this is very much part of it.
But I am learning the journey is not just external, it is also internal. To experience true abundance from minimalism, it must start within.
Just as some people accumulate things to create a false identity or pursue a mythical state of happiness, eliminating yourself of possessions without coming from a place of inward truth is short-sighted. They are disconnected.
Living an abundant life derives from traveling a journey of intentional self growth. It’s functioning through your true self to live a simple life. It’s getting good at being simple. Self simplicity becomes the clarity in which you find meaning. It’s the removal of the unnecessary. It’s the discovery of what you value most.
Self simplicity is the intersection of self-care and minimalism.
As you begin to focus on your inner self, minimalism becomes the by-product. (tweet that)
Here are 5 simple ways to live an abundant life through self simplicity.
1. Simplify your wardrobe.
Two years ago, I adopted a minimalist wardrobe. A solid colored t-shirt, jeans and a pair of Vans sums up my daily wardrobe year round. It’s the attire that I feel most like myself in. Because of this minimalist approach, I am able to eliminate unnecessary energy that gets put into what I wear. It spares me a few more minutes in the morning to sit at the table with my family for breakfast before we all head out the door. It results in one less source of stress and anxiety within my day.
2. Eliminate digital distractions.
As our mobile device is the bridge that connects us to the world, it’s also the very thing that pulls us from living in the moment. For the past couple years, I’ve removed all notifications on my phone. It no longer is a constant distraction that pulls me from the present moment.
One Saturday evening while my wife and son were gone, I had a sudden impulse to remove the TV from our main floor family room—the room where we spend most of our time. Since then, our family has become much closer and our focus is no longer fragmented. We play more, we have spontaneous dance parties, we listen to music and sing together, we grab our own books and read, and we have quiet time together.
I even began noticing glances at my watch would allow different levels of anxiety to creep in. My ego would spew off all the things I should be doing instead of what I was doing at that moment. So I no longer wear a watch. It’s eliminated a feeding source for my ego. And the anxiety that would creep in from wearing a watch has since subsided.
3. Focus on your art, not your job.
Most people dislike getting up in the morning because of the job they have. The unfortunate reality is we spend a third of our lives in the workplace. So why do we drudge through it working for the weekend?
Changing your mindset in how you approach your job opens up life’s abundance. It no longer becomes a balancing act of work and life, but becomes life itself.
Remove yourself from the cog-like behaviors and pour your unique abilities into all that you do. It makes getting up in the morning a lot easier. This shift in mindset has transformed how I work.
Previously, my daily goal was working towards a promotion, a more prestigious title, and a larger paycheck. That’s it. Since practicing self-care, office politics has become less attractive, the race up the corporate ladder no longer serves a purpose, and the prestigious titles are now just words.
Focus on the difference you can make by the work only you can do. New meaning will immediately arise.
4. Learn to say no to things.
I used to feel like I had to say yes to everything thinking that’s what the path to success looked like. Often times these commitments and obligations I agreed to caused unnecessary stress and friction within my relationships: family, friends, colleagues.
The ability to say no provides space in my life to focus on the things I value most. It’s not about being involved with everything, but rather involving myself with the right things.
5. Embrace the mundane.
It wasn’t until I committed to traveling a journey of intentional self growth that I discovered where life is really lived—in the mundane. Life is lived in those in-between moments we often hurry past. It’s in the car rides to daycare, standing in the grocery line with your son, reading to your kids before bed time, or clearing off the dinner table as a family.
It’s all the things that are part of our days that we tend to gloss over. But these are the simple memories that last a lifetime. These are the experiences that write our story and shape our lives. It’s those simple things that matter and become the things we appreciate most.
I didn’t set out to become a minimalist. It was born through self-care and committing to travel a journey of intentional self growth.
But through self simplicity, abundance was found.
Further Reading
How to Enjoy a Life You Don’t Need to Escape From
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Eric Ungs writes at Unless You Care Project where he helps others lead a life of intentional self growth.
Ethan says
Embracing the mundane.
We can all be good at our job, at our art, or be good simply at being good! But sometimes we neglect all the beauty there is in our everyday routine (which some people call “rut”).
This point has given purpose to all the other 4 points.
Thank you.
Lori in Prescott says
#3: “Focus on the difference you can make by the work only you can do.” I went back and re-read the entire post a second time. This is the quote that jumped out at me. Each of us has something to offer the world, even if we think we don’t. We can easily show small acts of kindness to another human with a smile, a touch, a $5 dollar bill to the man on the corner with a cardboard sign. I think of it as “gifting myself” to humanity. My latest goal (which stemmed from recently having to deal with state and federal government call centers}: I am exceedingly nice to people who have phone jobs. I chat with them exactly as if they are an old friend. I effuse delight and laughter. I think they have dreadful jobs and why not be a bright spot in their day? You would be amazed at the results from the other end! Try it!
Eric Ungs says
That’s beautiful Lori!
Maureen@ADebtFreeStressFreeLife says
Learning to say no to things was probably the one thing I had the most difficulty with. Once I was able to master the art of saying no and that no is a complete sentence, the stress in my life was greatly reduced.
Eric Ungs says
It’s so freeing! :) Good for you.
Rakhee says
Thanks Eric. I have seen some of these things happen already. I feel insanely happy looking at a tree or a lady gardening. I can give away my most beautiful dresses easily. It took time, but it worked a lot like you said. The biggest change is in my diary. From twenty pages of analysis per week, i am down to two or three pages per month.
Eric Ungs says
That’s awesome Rakhee! The attachment of things no longer becomes part of your “identity”. Once this happens the world opens up.
Simplify Life Blog says
Eric, I am glad to hear you found ways to make your time more useful.
I stopped ironing my clothes 3 years ago not because I hated ironing, but because I saw an opportunity to reduce the stress in my life.
I do not go many places that require me to be pressed.
I iron only when I am going outo to a fancy place.
I have not missed it. Clothes get wrinkled anyway so I make sure they are clean.
I have gained so much freedom.
Kelly @ GrievingDads says
I am new to the concept of minimization. Although I have had many of these things happen to me by accident over the last several years.
After I lost both of my children, I started to look at life a lot different. Step one was I had to learn how to survive, but after I came through the dark tunnel of grief, I realized I had been doing it all wrong. Prior to their losses I said yes to everything and worked 60-70 hours a week. Visited the ER a couple of times in the middle of the night because I thought I was having a heart attack. It was just anxiety.
I now try to spend my time taking in life. I’ve learned to say no and its amazing how quickly they find others that say yes because they are wanting the big title and promotions. I do my job, but its no longer my life, its a paycheck. I have less stress at work and my relationships are stronger with co-workers and clients. I do what I can.
I now get my inner peace by spending time with my wife and dog. I help others men through the loss of grief. I found a sense of purpose I never had when I use to chase the money. It’s illusive, but finding inner peace is possible when you learn how to control the outside influences. Don’t get me wrong, I still have to check myself once in a while and remind myself to take a deep breath or to put something on the back burner. It’s hard for a Type A personality, but blog posts like this are great reminders. Thanks for sharing this Joshua.
Brian Gardner says
“2. Eliminate digital distractions.”
For me, this is by far the most needed — albeit the most difficult — of the ways that you shared.
I can easily waste away a day doing stuff online. That doesn’t necessarily even mean it’s work, but at times I can convince myself it is.
Perhaps I need an intervention. Where someone comes and takes all of my electronics away from me and makes me sit in my house without the ability to connect.
Eric Ungs says
You should try it. Some Saturday disconnect entirely. Where I put most of this conscious effort is when my kids are in the room with me. If they are, I leave the device alone. I have such little time with them, I don’t want to waste it by surrendering to the urge of needing to “check in” on my device and various digital outlets. Thanks Brian.
Bob Pepe says
I agree that Digital Distraction is a huge problem. We are constantly waiting for that next “chirp” from our phone. Why? what do we really think it is going to say that is so important.
I have recently purchased an Apple Watch and I know that might seem like more of an electronic leash, but in fact it has helped get away from my phone. My kids and wife can reach me whenever they need to, but I can put my phone away when out and about during the day without the constant checking of emails and updates. I have a daughter off in college and my other in Europe for the summer and need to be reachable.
We should not shun technology, but use it more wisely.
BrownVagabonder says
I love the last point – ‘Life is lived in the mundane!’ That is so beautiful and profound. Life really truly is lived in those mundane, small moments which we hurry past. I actually wrote a post about this a few days ago, when I realized I have been hurrying past almost all of my life, waiting, running towards something in the future where I feel my ‘ideal’ life exists, whilst my current real life is just passing me by. http://brownvagabonder.com/2015/06/08/these-moments-are-life/
Thanks for the post!
Eric Ungs says
Discovering joy in the mundane just opens up life. It becomes richer. Thanks!
Daisy @ Simplicity Relished says
I like the idea of minimalism being a by-product. I’ve always thought of it as a means to an end– a tool for living well– but your point is well taken! Once we have given our lives to that which matters most, it will look that way both inwardly and outwardly.
Eric Ungs says
Exactly. Life has to be lived through us. When we surrender to this, minimalism then does become a by-product. Thanks Daisy :)
kariane says
Indeed! Our inner life is definitely what sets the tone for our outer life. We also choose to avoid distractions like television (we actually decided to go fully television-free almost 3 years ago after years of having one living in the closet), notifications on phones (except work phones during business hours — but even those are limited to actual phone ringing and texts), and keeping a clock off of our person and out of our living room.
The other thing we’ve done is eliminate a clock from our bedroom. I found it helped to eliminate some of the stress in “my baby is up again?” or “didn’t he just nurse 1.5 hours ago?” This way, I can simply attend to him without grumbling about time. It helped me.
Eric Ungs says
Good for you on the no TV Kariane! With just having a newborn, not having a clock in the room is essential. Thanks for sharing :)
eileen marbach says
Just read something above that shocked me!!! You are going against the modern culture yet you march your kids off to DAYCARE!!! Please explain. The best place for children is their own home with people that love them. Children grow up sooo fast it will be over in the blink of an eye.
Megan says
I don’t think it’s appropriate for you to demand an explanation for how someone raises their kids. The tone of this comment is not kind at all. You wouldn’t say that in person would you?
Thank you for this article. My husband and I are always looking for suggestions on how to simplify and enjoy our family!:)
Elen says
Minimalist doesn’t mean u don’t take your kids to daycare that’s quite irrelevant no offense but try to have a more open mind.
Joanne says
I had my family with my children at one point, opened a daycare while pregnant till my lil girl went to school, then decided instead of working to go back to college for nursing….but everyone does not have an option, Especially if they don’t have family around. I feel it depends on the situation not sit in judgement. As long as we do the best we can and spend quality time with our children and the family is happy then who is anyone to set exact rules. Everyone might love to stay home with their child, but making sure they have a roof over their heads, food in their bellies, and essential bills paid may not be an option for them. I know great moms that have children and have to work and have a great relationship with their children, they spend time together, doing homework, eating together and go camping ect..
Dan says
So true! More is not necessary better, sometimes the things you buy, have a tendency to enslave its owner, with increased worry about time, phone.notifications an tv sucking the life out of family life! I think you hit the nail on the head with your article! I do agree an I also believe in the tiny house movement, less is usually more!