Becoming Minimalist

Own less. Live more. Finding minimalism in a world of consumerism.

Replace Frustration with Appreciation

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“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” —Melody Beattie

Too often, our hearts weigh heavy with feelings of dissatisfaction. We feel dissatisfied with our incomes, our clothes, our cars, our struggles. We chase material possessions and bigger homes.

Sometimes, the easiest way to feel more satisfaction is to stop comparing what we have to others, and to instead practice wanting what we already have. After all, to be upset over what we don’t have is to waste what we already do.

Practicing gratitude is one of the simple things in life we take for granted. It takes effort, intentionality, and a refusal to be influenced by marketers bent on sowing dissatisfaction in our lives.

But giving thanks can start as small as being grateful for your shelter, your food, or your friends and family.

This week, make a list of 5 things you are grateful for every evening before bed. Repeat the same things if you’d like, or think of new things daily.  

By practicing gratitude, dissatisfaction will disappear and be replaced with joy and humility.

Joshua Becker

About Joshua Becker

Writer. Inspiring others to live more by owning less.
WSJ Bestselling author of The More of Less.

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Comments

  2. I have a little printed card that I bought decades ago. It says “Happiness is not having what you want; it’s wanting what you have.” Words to live by!

  3. I totally agree. Don’t compare what others have, but instead be grateful for the things we do have. I believe that material possessions come and go, and most are just luxuries instead of necessities. Put family and loved ones ahead of money. Make money to take care of them instead of buying more. And use money to spend more time with them because time can never be replaced. But if you do become rich ethically, help others who are unfortunate because you just may save a life. And no amount of money or material possessions can put a price on life.
    So learn to live with less and appreciate the things you do have,
    Thank you for sharing.

  4. I began what was “downsizing” in 1982 when I “received permission” to let go. I was only 23. Who loves you when you’re 23? 😛 36 years later, I went “through” life gaining and releasing practically everything (so far.) I am dissatisfied with only 1 thing, my gain of 75 lbs bodyweight. Its my 1 focal point of all-things NON-minimal!! I “used to be” svelte and athletic. I’m still strong considering I’ve lumbered thru some years with a large weight. I try getting at its root but refuse to fast or starve. Oh well. I’ve more recently (such as today 🙂 ) looked at gratitude: this weight stemming from a time in my life I am most assuredly UNgrateful for, tho all these years later its unsure 1 single timeframe is REALLY responsible for 1 ponderous heft. Thank you!

    • Dear Kris, I lost 110 pounds in a year and gained my life back. It’s been part of removing toxins and simplifying. I’m super simplifying this next year ( downsizing 3600 to 1800 sq. Ft. I hope 🤞), losing another 20-40 pounds and removing all unnecessary possessions that aren’t to be worn, cherished or useful. You can do it and definitely take it slow! Go for it!

    • Kris, I am also carrying around 50lbs extra that I’m unhappy with. Rather than feeling dissatisfaction with my current body, I am having to conscientiously choose gratitude.
      I’m so grateful for this body that has borne and breastfed SIX amazing, beautiful, healthy children! I’m so thankful that my loving husband still finds me deeply attractive and that he gets to experience intimacy with several different female bodies while remaining faithful to one woman. I’m thankful all my limbs and organs are intact and operational! I’m thankful that I’ve been overweight before in my life and I know (1) what it takes to lose, and (2) I’ve lost it before and I can lose it again. I’m thankful for seasons of our life that make us vulnerable enough to have to choose gratitude when it may be more difficult.

      And I’m thankful that gratitude is a simple, almost effortless discipline to cultivate.

  6. I once read a piece by Maya Angelou. She was in a profound depression and went to her counselor, who suggested a gratitude practice and handed her a piece of paper and a pencil to write down all that she had to be grateful for. Ms. Angelou became indignant that her many difficult problems were not being addressed. ‘What do I have to be grateful for? Haven’t you been listening?’ The counselor said, ‘well… can you see me?’ ‘Of course I can see you!’ ‘Good. Write “I’m not blind.” Can you hear my voice? “Yes.” Good! Write “I’m not deaf,” or “I can hear.” How did you get to my office from the bus stop?’ ‘I walked…’ ‘Good! Write “I’m not paralyzed…” (No doubt you get where this is going.) :-> Ms. Angelou said she wrote for 20 minutes before stopping; she needed to stop because she could no longer see the paper due to her tears. I’ve never forgotten this simple, basic practice. The things I may take for granted would be the answer to someone else’s prayers. One of my teachers once said, ‘gratitude is the ultimate refuge for a human being.’ I can’t read posts like this one often enough. Thank you!

  7. I used to be baffled when I would hear a celebrity committed suicide. I would say they had it all! Why would they do that?
    I believed they had everything to be happy and they should be grateful for what they had.
    Years later I learned to take my own advise and be grateful for everything I have. I have been happier ever since ;-)

  8. I was just reminded of a practice that worked well for me. I often would get to the end of a long day, and feel that I had accomplished nothing! I addressed this with a little trick on myself. I have 3×3 colored post it notes, with out the sticky stuff. And one really pretty blue Mason Jar, that my brother dug out of an old foundation of a home.
    Every time I did a task, I would write it down on a piece of paper. And stick it in my jar…. Which I named “Little Victories”
    At the end of the day, I could look and see the steps, however small, that I had made toward my goals. It could be something as simple as making a phone call, I was putting off. Or maybe putting 5 dollars toward my emergency fund, or paying an extra 5 dollars toward my debt. (debt free now, thankfully, except the mortgage)
    This little thing, which took so little time, reminded me to be grateful for what I had time to accomplish, outside of my job.

    It isn’t much, but it worked for me.

    • Kathy,
      I just love this SO much!!! It is important and difficult to see the small steps when you are in the midst of things at times. I am going to do this myself. Thank you for sharing this :)

  9. God must have inspired your headline. I was sitting here debating sending a frustrated email/text to a family member~~must be the holidays, right?? Your email came through with the headline “Replace Frustration with Appreciation”. Aaaarrrggghhh!! It reminded how much I love the person and am truly grateful for all they do. I’ll try that mantra, “Frustration~~Appreciation…..Frustration~~Appreciation”…..Happy Holidays!! ~~God bless us all :0).

  12. This Christmas I am suffering because I want to buy things, but deep down I know I dont need it… and I am thinking if… what if I just save/invest that money… and I begin to smile right away…

  13. I try to make the “Gratitude” list in early AM when I sit quietly for some devotional reading. This helps get my day off to a positive start. I live in a rural area, yet most of my friends are in a town near me, and we have different lifestyles. I am more into “back to basics”, organic, veg. diet, & for sure a more frugal lifestyle than most of them. Doing this list keeps me centered & on track of what I know is most important in my life. Thanks so much for your writings.

  14. I have done this for years. It really puts things into perspective! I love looking back on previous years to see what I was grateful for that day. Sometimes it was just sunshine and simple things like a phone call from my mom who is no longer living.

  15. “Everyday’s a holiday and every meal a feast” is something I often heard a friend say. If this were our default mode of thought, it would revolutionize society.

    • Yes! Love this.

      Carrying a “Gratitude Rock” helped me develop the habit of having an attitude of gratitude. Every time I came across the rock in my pocket, I would thank God for something, someone, or even Him.

      I also have several placed around the house. I like the spontaneity of gratitude that the rocks bring. Thankfulness can change my sour attitude to a good attitude pretty fast.

  16. I was in the same boat of constantly needing something new.
    The fact that I had many things that were just lying around in the house unused for many months never crossed my mind….until I discovered minimalism,frugality and tiny house living.
    The more I read/saw videos, the more I realized just how far from actual happiness I was moving away.
    In the early 90’s when I had few possessions, I would take extra special care and reuse them again and again…and feel happy EVERY TIME I used them.
    The more money I started acquiring, the more greed took over to acquire more and more things.
    Thanks to minimalism I have started downsizing big time and keep only a few things that I can actually use on a regular basis and really appreciate the few things that give me pure joy.
    Minimalism has been an eyeopener as well as a life changer.
    I lost a few friends in the process (as they simply refused to let go of materialism), but in the end a calm mind if far more important to me than constantly being on the treadmill of materialism.

  17. I think that what I call “Unconditional Gratitude” has kind of been a theme this Thanksgiving. Over the past year, I experienced a traumatic situation and learned to find gratitude through it. I wrote an article about it on my blog today, which is a similar message.

  19. My active gratitude practice has given me so much, added so much to my life. I first started it a few years ago as a way to deal with a fairly serious illness, and even though I’ve not recovered as well as I’d have hoped to, I am grateful, every day. Michelle t

  21. What a beautiful reminder to feel grateful for all that we have right now. Especially in this season of Black Friday and Cyber Monday when we are so often told we don’t have enough and need to spend.

  22. Yes! A gratitude journal has served me well several times over the last ten years. I am again keeping one and it makes a difference to say thank you to God for the little things, the big things and even the hard things. It does take practice. :)

  23. If I ever feel dissatisfied… I think of those who suffer from abuse, disease, homelessness —etc. Then I think “Really?!” I gripe over what??? So ashamed—
    So blessed!

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