I have a beautiful friend. She is the single-parent of two equally beautiful daughters. Her husband left when the second was born with special needs.
Coincidentally, my neighbor is a single father of two. His wife left him, choosing a life of drugs over a life of responsibility.
My guess is you will never hear the names of these two amazing individuals. You’ll probably never read their blogs or follow them on Facebook. And their faces will probably never be on the cover of a magazine. But I can tell you, without a doubt in my mind, they both work harder at life than I do.
This past Saturday, I got up early to do some work on a new book. In the early morning hours while the sun was still rising, I drove to a quiet location to write. Enroute, I passed a young man, significantly overweight, out jogging. He was sweating profusely. And I was inspired because of it.
His body-shape isn’t the type you’ll see on posters in the local fitness center. But here was a guy, up early on a Saturday morning, working hard to change his life while most of my neighbors were still sleeping.
One more story.
Last week, a colleague of mine led a funeral for a friend who had recently died of a drug overdose. The deceased was a young man who had been born addicted to heroin.
Through no fault of his own but because of the actions of his mother, he waged war against addiction every day of his life. Some days, he won. Some days, he lost. In the end, it took his life.
As my colleague shared his story, he summed it up this way:
Our lost friend will, unfortunately, be remembered by most as a drug addict. But that’s not the man I knew. Quite the opposite in fact. I will remember forever my friend as the man who fought endlessly against an addiction unfairly passed onto him. I will remember him as a man who worked hard to make the most of a bad situation.
Our world loves to glorify beautiful people. We look up to and praise those who have seemingly accomplished much in visible measures. We lift up as role models and examples those who excel in sports, write books, own the stage, or excel in business and politics. And I don’t want to look down on those accomplishments and those examples, there is much we can learn from them.
But let’s face it: Life can also be messy. And not everybody gets to live in the limelight as one of the beautiful people. Some people find themselves struggling to just tread water through very difficult circumstances.
Sometimes, the trials we face in life are a result of our own doing. Sometimes they are a result of a wrong committed against us. But there is little doubt we are surrounded by people facing unfair circumstances in every direction we look.
And many of them, those fighting to make the most of it, deserve our respect and our praise. But they are often overlooked by a society that often praises all the wrong measures of success.
So allow me today… in my own small little way… to recognize those of you who are working hard to make the best of a bad situation. We see you and we applaud you.
Here’s to those of you raising kids without the support of a responsible partner.
Here’s to those of you striving to overcome the cycle of poverty or addiction in your family.
Here’s to those of you working two jobs to provide your children with more opportunity than you had growing up.
Here’s to those of you working to change the unhealthy habits that have defined your life for too long.
Here’s to those of you who have been treated unfairly in the workplace and are working hard to start again.
Here’s to those of you battling a disease that seeks to destroy your body.
Here’s to those of you caring faithfully for a loved one who is nearing the end.
Here’s to those of you who have been knocked down by life, but are staggering to get back up.
We see you and we applaud you.
Not only that, we also thank you. Thank you for inspiring us. And thank you for working hard to make life better—not just for yourself, but for those closest to you. We need more people like you in our world.
About Joshua Becker
This article has so much heart and truth in it! As a society we do praise the rich, beautiful, powerful and blessed rather than those with grit, fortitude and willpower. Life is tough and it’s important to Recognize that truth for others and honouring their efforts is praiseworthy! I had tears over this one…everyday heroes.
Thank you for this post, Joshua. I’m in tears after reading it. It has been a difficult day and I needed this reminder that, like God, there are those who see the small things, and they are precious.
A nice recognition of the quietly struggling people all around us. Please consider editing your comment on the addicted wife you mentioned, the addicted brain is far more complicated than her making a choice, although I grieve for her family at this moment.
Sometimes people are knocked down by the disease of addiction, which possibly developed after years of unhealthy habits, and which is destroying or has destroyed their life. Nobody sets out to become an addict. Your neighbor’s wife may be trying to chose her family over drugs, let’s hope she finds peace.
It is truly what is important in our life that we need to give attention to.
Beautiful and so true. Even if it is not the same, I would like to add the architect who had planned a perfect floor plan for my friends’ familys apartment. So smart, it really did the best out of a small area. It is not a known architect with a big name and a big salary. It is somebody who cares about the people who are going to live in the apartments s/he plans.
Inspirational piece that will uplift many in our various struggles. Doing great work in trying to change perspectives towards what matters. Thank you Joshua and team.
Can’t say it better. Very beautiful. Thank you Joshua.
Thank you. This really hit home today. Beautifully written and so thoughtful. Means so much. We shouldn’t be so quick to judge others because who knows what others are truly going through.
This post was so timely for me, as today marks two months since my six-month-old son died from heart failure. My husband and I are moving forward with adoption as a way to honor the love our Emerson taught us is possible. Our invisible battle of grief will be lifelong and it isn’t glamorous, but it is real.
I’m so sorry this happened. So many of us walk around each day with an invisible battle of grief. Those are perfect words. You’ve chosen a wonderful way to honor your dear son. I admire your strength.
Thank you, Joshua. Again, the universe conspired to bring the support I’ve needed. I came across this post today and it resonated. My 9yo son and I lost his daddy suddenly of a cardiac arrest last month. He was only 48. It’s been hard. We are so blessed to have the love and support of our loved ones though. I do find comfort in acknowledging the effort to step into and through our collective grief and loss. Thank you again.
Thanks, this means more than you know….
Thank you
Beautiful. We need more of this
The universe sent me this article today. I needed to read this. I’ve been struggling for the last few weeks mentally and feel I get no recognition for my hard work from managers or my family. I keep going to be a good role model to my children. Thank you for these great words of encouragement.
Thank you. Lost my job today. Needed to hear this.
Thank u for this very thoughtful blog. Having shield pals to cheer u up during difficult times that’s a great support 2stay resilient.
Thank you. Thank you for seeing us and acknowledging us.
I came across this article while going through the unread portion of my inbox. I had left Becoming Minimalist’s Top Posts of 2017, sent out on December 26, 2017, unread for all this time because I had procrastinated on reading it right away and have been slowly going through all the emails that I want to take my time on digesting. I think this article in particular fits well with the current times. Thank you for this piece of writing that reminds us that we, the unknowns, are important, too.
Sometimes the responsibility can drive a person to choose drugs.
Thank you for this reminder. Abundantly blessed for much of my life, it is rare that I seek affirmation for accomplishments. Recently, a number of “work harder” individuals have entered my life. Their need for accolades for accomplishing basic tasks borders on harassment – dozens of contacts a day, sometimes trying to rewrite agency protocols on the fly. (We do need his official name for a license even if “Buddy” seems more friendly than “Stanley.”) I need to remind myself that I am lax in areas I judge officious beyond reason.
As one of those struggling to just tread water through very difficult circumstances many days and trying to make the most of a bad situation every day, thank you for your compassion. It’s not an easy lot in life. I often read encouragement along the lines of, “things will get better.” But for some of us, things won’t. Some of us have to deal with very hard things for decades. And it’s a bit of a lonely experience.
M, I could have wrote your post. Everyone says time heals everything. I just don’t think it does. Somethings won’t ever get better. It seems like every day it gets harder instead of easier. Yes very lonely. Hugs to you.
Thank you for sharing your gifts and talents with the world.
And to those neighbors who are “still sleeping”…we know you just went to bed an hour ago after working a 12 hour OT shift because your sick wife missed two days of work this week. It is very easy to fall into the trap of putting one down in an effort to raise another up. What we need to do is to stop comparing the struggles of anyone to anyone…
We all are fighting a battle. Some of us have bigger battles than others but everyone has some type of battle. Great article. People need to be more kind to others.
Thanks so much Joshua, I shared this in my Arthritis support group & it has been such an encouragement to many of the Swell Gals Australia. We fight inflammatory arthritis & associated conditions, largely invisible to the general public & I know some feel beaten down by their circumstances.
Thank you for sharing Jayne.
Thank you for such a profound article. It touches me in so many areas.
Thank you for this I inspiration. I, along with so many others are in some sort of struggle. This was a great read.. Just helping me to KEEP PUSHING! Thank you🎶
A beautiful article and so true, thank you for the inspiration and for reminding us of what is important in life.
Thank you, pivotal.
I couldn’t get past the contradiction of the judgmental statement of the mother who “chose a life of drugs over responsibility “, versus the man born with a drug addiction. Who knows what life experiences drove the mother to drug use?
Although it seems unfair to use the word “chose”, I don’t feel it was meant to be read as a “conscious” choice. If a person were even conscious, there would hardly be a question of choosing drugs over sobriety.
It’s simple and complicated; a paradox.
I had a hard time with that line as well….but the rest of the post was great.
I noticed the same thing. Thank you for posting.
Yes these judgements are difficult to read. Drug addiction is a disease, therefore judging individuals struggling with them is unfair. Not sure anyone would blame / shame a type 2 diabetic or someone with obesity. Education around these issues and more work is in toward alleviating stigma for them and their families. God teaches us to not judge – let’s follow His lead.