I have a beautiful friend. She is the single-parent of two equally beautiful daughters. Her husband left when the second was born with special needs.
Coincidentally, my neighbor is a single father of two. His wife left him, choosing a life of drugs over a life of responsibility.
My guess is you will never hear the names of these two amazing individuals. You’ll probably never read their blogs or follow them on Facebook. And their faces will probably never be on the cover of a magazine. But I can tell you, without a doubt in my mind, they both work harder at life than I do.
This past Saturday, I got up early to do some work on a new book. In the early morning hours while the sun was still rising, I drove to a quiet location to write. Enroute, I passed a young man, significantly overweight, out jogging. He was sweating profusely. And I was inspired because of it.
His body-shape isn’t the type you’ll see on posters in the local fitness center. But here was a guy, up early on a Saturday morning, working hard to change his life while most of my neighbors were still sleeping.
One more story.
Last week, a colleague of mine led a funeral for a friend who had recently died of a drug overdose. The deceased was a young man who had been born addicted to heroin.
Through no fault of his own but because of the actions of his mother, he waged war against addiction every day of his life. Some days, he won. Some days, he lost. In the end, it took his life.
As my colleague shared his story, he summed it up this way:
Our lost friend will, unfortunately, be remembered by most as a drug addict. But that’s not the man I knew. Quite the opposite in fact. I will remember forever my friend as the man who fought endlessly against an addiction unfairly passed onto him. I will remember him as a man who worked hard to make the most of a bad situation.
Our world loves to glorify beautiful people. We look up to and praise those who have seemingly accomplished much in visible measures. We lift up as role models and examples those who excel in sports, write books, own the stage, or excel in business and politics. And I don’t want to look down on those accomplishments and those examples, there is much we can learn from them.
But let’s face it: Life can also be messy. And not everybody gets to live in the limelight as one of the beautiful people. Some people find themselves struggling to just tread water through very difficult circumstances.
Sometimes, the trials we face in life are a result of our own doing. Sometimes they are a result of a wrong committed against us. But there is little doubt we are surrounded by people facing unfair circumstances in every direction we look.
And many of them, those fighting to make the most of it, deserve our respect and our praise. But they are often overlooked by a society that often praises all the wrong measures of success.
So allow me today… in my own small little way… to recognize those of you who are working hard to make the best of a bad situation. We see you and we applaud you.
Here’s to those of you raising kids without the support of a responsible partner.
Here’s to those of you striving to overcome the cycle of poverty or addiction in your family.
Here’s to those of you working two jobs to provide your children with more opportunity than you had growing up.
Here’s to those of you working to change the unhealthy habits that have defined your life for too long.
Here’s to those of you who have been treated unfairly in the workplace and are working hard to start again.
Here’s to those of you battling a disease that seeks to destroy your body.
Here’s to those of you caring faithfully for a loved one who is nearing the end.
Here’s to those of you who have been knocked down by life, but are staggering to get back up.
We see you and we applaud you.
Not only that, we also thank you. Thank you for inspiring us. And thank you for working hard to make life better—not just for yourself, but for those closest to you. We need more people like you in our world.
About Joshua Becker
Sometimes the responsibility can drive a person to choose drugs.
Thank you for this reminder. Abundantly blessed for much of my life, it is rare that I seek affirmation for accomplishments. Recently, a number of “work harder” individuals have entered my life. Their need for accolades for accomplishing basic tasks borders on harassment – dozens of contacts a day, sometimes trying to rewrite agency protocols on the fly. (We do need his official name for a license even if “Buddy” seems more friendly than “Stanley.”) I need to remind myself that I am lax in areas I judge officious beyond reason.
As one of those struggling to just tread water through very difficult circumstances many days and trying to make the most of a bad situation every day, thank you for your compassion. It’s not an easy lot in life. I often read encouragement along the lines of, “things will get better.” But for some of us, things won’t. Some of us have to deal with very hard things for decades. And it’s a bit of a lonely experience.
M, I could have wrote your post. Everyone says time heals everything. I just don’t think it does. Somethings won’t ever get better. It seems like every day it gets harder instead of easier. Yes very lonely. Hugs to you.
Thank you for sharing your gifts and talents with the world.
And to those neighbors who are “still sleeping”…we know you just went to bed an hour ago after working a 12 hour OT shift because your sick wife missed two days of work this week. It is very easy to fall into the trap of putting one down in an effort to raise another up. What we need to do is to stop comparing the struggles of anyone to anyone…
We all are fighting a battle. Some of us have bigger battles than others but everyone has some type of battle. Great article. People need to be more kind to others.
Thanks so much Joshua, I shared this in my Arthritis support group & it has been such an encouragement to many of the Swell Gals Australia. We fight inflammatory arthritis & associated conditions, largely invisible to the general public & I know some feel beaten down by their circumstances.
Thank you for sharing Jayne.
Thank you for such a profound article. It touches me in so many areas.
Thank you for this I inspiration. I, along with so many others are in some sort of struggle. This was a great read.. Just helping me to KEEP PUSHING! Thank you🎶
A beautiful article and so true, thank you for the inspiration and for reminding us of what is important in life.
Thank you, pivotal.
I couldn’t get past the contradiction of the judgmental statement of the mother who “chose a life of drugs over responsibility “, versus the man born with a drug addiction. Who knows what life experiences drove the mother to drug use?
Although it seems unfair to use the word “chose”, I don’t feel it was meant to be read as a “conscious” choice. If a person were even conscious, there would hardly be a question of choosing drugs over sobriety.
It’s simple and complicated; a paradox.
I had a hard time with that line as well….but the rest of the post was great.
I noticed the same thing. Thank you for posting.