“You can never get enough of what you don’t need to make you happy.” —Eric Hoffer
We live in a complicated world—one that has too often confused and misunderstood the entire notion of success. Along the way, we have championed, promoted, and dedicated ourselves to some unhealthy pursuits.
We have measured success in terms of financial gain. Money is a powerful motivator that controls the lives of many. It chooses occupations. It dictates how time, energy, and resources are spent. It influences relationships, schedules, and families. To some, it even becomes an all-consuming passion that leaves broken people and morality in its wake.
But financial gain is actually a poor measurement of success. Some are born into it with little personal involvement, while others are born into environments that provide little opportunity to ever achieve it. Financial gain ebbs and flows at the mercy of a global economy. And the payback from financial gain is relatively short-lived—it never satisfies our greatest desires. No matter the amount of financial success earned, it always leaves us wanting more.
Others measure and pursue success in the form of accolades or praise from others. They desire to be known, recognized, and respected. The glory of their name and how many people remember it become their greatest desire.
But the praise of men is a shockingly fickle thing upon which to measure our success. It is a foolish, ever-changing target. It often negatively impacts the decisions we make and the life we choose to live. But it never fully satisfies our hearts or our souls. Even those who have reached the pinnacle of fame and prestige in our society long for more.
One growing trend in our culture is to measure success on the basis of removing ourselves from work altogether. The 4-Hour Workweek remains one of the most successful business books of our decade. And CNN recently defined retiring before 65 as the “ultimate dream.” It seems the goal of work has become to simply earn enough reserve or residual income to remove ourselves from it entirely.
But this measure of success results in an unhealthy view of work altogether. Somewhere along the way, we lost our focus. We no longer work to benefit others, but ourselves. Work becomes selfish. Work becomes that thing through which we make enough money so that we can do the other things we really want to do instead. Work has become a four-letter word to be avoided. No wonder 70% of Americans either hate their jobs or are completely disengaged from them.
Is there a better way to measure success in our lives? I think so.
Possessing wealth does not lead to happiness, but giving it away does.
Study after study confirms this. Generous people consistently rank as happier, healthier, with higher levels of life satisfaction. When people are given a sum of money, they immediately gain more well-being if they spend it on others, rather than themselves. Generosity promotes social connection and improved relationships. When we give, we make others feel closer to us, but even more, we feel closer to them. We begin to discover significance, fulfillment, and increased passion for life.
Science and experience remind us over and over again: Success is not found in material accumulation, personal accolades, or removal from work altogether. (tweet that)
Happiness, fulfillment, and lasting success is found in our commitment to generosity—in viewing that our role in the world is to make it better for someone else.
There is no shortage of people in this world who need our help. The problem is we are often too busy to notice because we have defined success in all the wrong places.
But once we stop chasing bigger houses, faster cars, and cooler toys, we begin to notice again the needs around us.
Generous people dream big dreams for their money, time, talents, and experience. They realize that once our most basic needs are met, increased accumulation offers very little happiness. Instead, our resources can be used to make our communities safer, smarter, and more responsible. They can be used to make this world a little more pleasant for everyone.
And in this pursuit, they find true, lasting, immeasurable success.
Elise says
Your point about the trend on amassing wealth to retire early and the lengths that people go to measure their wealth and progress toward FIRE is important. It’s true that the path to becoming financially independent provides many opportunities to examine ones values and habits around consumption, debt and happiness which is a good side effect of looking at what truly is meaningful and makes one happy. But there is also a trend emerging on some blogs and forums (not here) to equate “success” with your saving rate, your net worth and whether you’ve managed to retire early.
I really appreciate your perspective in this post on examining success in the context of work and the benefits it can have for others. It seems that even in moving toward being financially independent and becoming minimalist that consumeristic and selfishness behaviors still lurk to catch us.
Connie says
Joshua
Your articles are always interesting, informative and inspirational. These suggestions and topics are so meaningful and helpful to many people struggling with modern day problems such as debt, finances and unhappiness. Consumerism seems to be like a deadly life threatening disease and minimalism seems to be the only long lasting cure. Thanks you for your helpful suggestions and for being a beacon of hope.
SKnutsen says
What a refreshing blog you have! Your ability to translate ideas into words and the values which stand behind those words keeps me coming back for more. It is truly inspiring to see someone moving against the crowd find so much success in doing so. Bravo!
Judy says
Went to visit an elderly man last night who has been diagnosed with lung cancer. His prognosis is not good, yet he is choosing to do radiation and chemo. His house is filthy and filled with 60+ years of clutter. He’s refused to move to a condo where he could live much more comfortably, because he doesn’t want to give up any of his possessions, so he’s been struggling in this large home. I and another friend offered last night to clean it up and clear it out!!! :) He refused. So truthfully…this man’s entire life from start to finish has been impacted by his “stuff”. It’s sad. All the more, after last night—I would say to everyone, get rid of the clutter. It’s just junk and it doesn’t go with you to the grave.
Jacqueline says
Its their safety net and misguided security all their possessions, thank you for trying to help him, don,t be offended by his refusal, just love him as he is, possessions or no possessions doesn,t change who he is, lots of love Jacqueline xxxx
Lenny says
This is an article which requires standing ovation. Awesome read.
Vladimir Dumovic says
An absolutely fantastic blog! As a year 10 economics teacher and author of the textbook ‘My Economics, Our Economics’ I refer my students to Joshua Becker’s blogs when we learn about consumerism, and how we can avoid falling into it’s clutches. Keep up the great work Joshua! For anyone interested in learning about economics in a way that focuses on improving our society in more than just a material sense, please visit http://www.myeconomicsoureconomics.com
Mark Owen-Ward says
This is a fantastic blog post. Happiness and fulfilment is the product of generosity! So simple yet I don’t think I’ve read that anywhere else. Insightful writing. The obsession/justification of needing money misses the point – it’s not about money it’s about giving and that can be of oneself, of love, of time or of money. This single post has really helped,
Thera says
It’s a good article, but what if, even without debts and consumerism and an abundance of junk, you still do not have any money to give away? My family has pared down to the extreme basics and we still have barely enough to get by and by these standards means we are not successful.
joshua becker says
My suggestion would be to keep working as hard as you can to provide your family needs and find joy in the provision you provide. Then, I would follow up with a question and ask if there is anywhere you are currently volunteering for the benefit of others. If not, I would push to see if there is room in your life to add it. If so, I’d recommend it highly. But I offer these thoughts with all humility realizing I have no personal knowledge of your unique life situation (I am only responding to the specific question you asked).
Tracy says
The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, shared with us that if you don’t have money to give away, you can remove an obstacle from someone’s path, or give them a smile. These are acts of charity.
Amy Axelson says
I think being present with, and there for, your family is one of the best gifts you can give the world.
Christina @ Embracing Simple says
I’m really looking forward to reading the entire ebook!
This is so true! For the longest time I thought that success and happiness were tied to accolades and being able to climb the corporate ladder. How wrong I was! I found myself miserable in this endeavor and realized that true happiness cannot come from success at work or from the “things” that my money can buy me.
I actually wrote about my personal experience with this that I’d love to share with anyone interested: http://embracingsimpleblog.com/happiness-in-today/.
Great post as usual, Joshua!
Tony W says
You hear everyday of very wealthy people demonstrating how unhappy they are in various ways. Arguably the phrase more money more problems could be true in many cases.
Sometime people find that career and money can trap you in a lifestyle of unhappiness and the simple solution is just to let go before it is too late.