There is an oft-repeated parable that goes like this:
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life:
“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
”It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil—he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
He continued, “The other is good—he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you—and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
This is a helpful story. An important one. And there is wisdom we can learn from it.
But that story came to mind as I was thinking recently about another truth in life we need to be equally aware of. The countertruth is this:
There is a “default” position that each of us have in life. This default position does not need to be fed to grow, it just is. And unless that position is fought against (almost constantly), it will be the state that our lives always unintentionally default into.
Think about it in this way. Many people struggle with healthy eating habits. They want to eat healthy and they know they should. But eating healthy only seems to happen when one is focused on it, battling against the default position of too much sugar and too much food. Healthy eating habits (or dieting as an example) only happen when we purposefully lift them up in our lives.
If I’m not purposefully eating healthy, I’m eating unhealthily. The default position is poor eating habits. And it feels like a constant battle—one that must be fought every day— to pursue what is good and right and healthy.
In this case, that wolf does not need to be fed in order to win. It will always win, unless I constantly lift up better habits.
The battle is not against equals. One position is, unfortunately in this case, the default position of life.
Now, this is just one example (one that I think a high percentage of people can relate to). But this idea extends far beyond the things we eat. And they differ from person to person.
One person may be inclined to laziness, another to workaholism.
One person may be inclined to poor physical fitness, another to vanity.
One person may be inclined to overspending, another to selfish frugality.
Other default positions that come to mind include: selfishness, jealousy, misplaced ambition, envy, pride, arrogance, or a contentious spirit.
Each of these, it seems, tend to be the default position of our lives. And only if we consistently war against them will we have (and retain) victory in becoming the person we desire to become.
If generosity is not consistently lifted up in my life, I too often tend toward selfishness. If resolved focus is not consistently lifted up in my life, busyness and distraction become the norm. If love and appreciation for others is not consistently pursued, envy will again show up.
One might realize this truth and respond by saying, “Then what’s the use of trying to change?” Others will reflect upon it, examine their own life for unhealthy defaults, and proceed forward resolved to consistently hold up that which they desire to become.
Be the latter.
Sandra says
What a timely article… I’m currently trying to eat more healthily and changing habits is a constant work in progress. Thanks for this reminder!
Kim says
The struggle is real. It is tiresome. It is hard. I’m tired of thinking all the time about what I should be intentional about, focused on how I can be better and to overcome the “default”. I have wondered will I constantly be on my toes the rest of my life trying to do the right thing, be healthier and make my life more wonderful. The answer is yes. I will never believe that the way I am right now is my best. The way I think right now will never need to change. The knowledge I have right now is all I’ll need for the rest of my life. I’m an amazing soul, but I know there is always room for me to be better. I have a wonderful family and a happy life, but I want more than I have right now. More stories, more fun, more love. It is a struggle and hard and tiresome, but very rewarding and I’d take the battle rather than settling to think I’m perfect just the way I am.
Phyllisha Hamrick says
I am tired of fighting. You mention fighting and I just want to let these bad habits and traits go. I prefer to surrender. Just reading this article made me tired and feel hopeless. What about the simple act of just surrendering to a peaceful better way of living?
Jacqueline says
Wow this was so needed for me today,
i have been told by my G.P. i need to improve my diet, this i already knew so no surprise, and the sands of time are not running out for me, i need to take heed, after praying i got, Guard Against Greed and if you take the first letter of those 3 words it says GAG, which i thought was hilarious, we cannot have it all, God isn,t a meany but He gives us life to the full, but all in moderation,
I thought the wolf story was amasing, you can apply that wisdom to every area of our life,
thank you so much Joshua, and its a process, i hope i remember this, i remember when God said He was enough, I was enough, and I had enough and enough was enough, this was a good guide for me in all area,s of my life,
have a great week
love Jacqueline xxxx
Seneca says
This is very profound and something that reminds me of how important it is to keep our purpose clear. With a strong purpose, I definitely believe that we can stay on the right track to become the person we want to be.
Easier said than done – much like changing bad habits. I intend to write a few posts on how I personally defeated OCD – which consists of a lot of bad habits. Please keep an eye out, I’d keen to hear your feedback and improve upon the strategy I implemented to change bad habits!
Bill Peterson says
Everyday if we listen we can hear our calling to the self to be the person it is we need to be. Lots of times, for some of us most of the time, it requires much work and effort to respond. When we don’t respond we realize we are not being true to the self and our mission to be our best self. When we do respond we get the feeling of being able to know we are on the right path. Joshua, thank you for your good work and thoughtful words.
Lucy L Viele says
“only if we consistently war against them will we have (and retain) victory in becoming the person we desire to become.” That is quite the violent statement. I do not believe we evolve or grow if we are fighting to win
Ali says
Very enlightening. Thank you.
Val Hodgson says
Thought provoking. Many thanks for sharing these perspectives on things we struggle with on a daily basis.