“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” —Abraham Lincoln
Is happiness a choice? Yes! Many happy people realize happiness is a choice and it’s up to them to intentionally choose it every single day.
Happy people are not held hostage by their circumstances and they do not seek happiness in people or possessions.
They understand that when we stop chasing the world’s definition of happiness, we begin to see the decision to experience happiness has been right in front of us all along. Research in the field of positive psychology continues to reinforce this understanding.
But simply knowing that happiness is a choice is not enough. Fully experiencing it still requires a conscious decision to choose happiness each day. How then might each of us begin to experience this joy?
How to Choose Happiness Today
Embrace one new action item, practice all of them, or simply use them as inspiration to discover your own. Here are 12 ways to choose happiness today:
1. Count your blessings. Happy people choose to focus on the positive aspects of life rather than the negative. They set their minds on specific reasons to be grateful. They express it when possible. And they quickly discover there is always, always, something to be grateful for.
2. Carry a smile. A smile is a wonderful beautifier. But more than that, studies indicate that making an emotion-filled face carries influence over the feelings processed by the brain. Our facial expression can influence our brain in just the same way our brains influence our face. In other words, you can actually program yourself to experience happiness by choosing to smile. Not to mention, all the pretty smiles you’ll receive in return for flashing yours is also guaranteed to increase your happiness level.
3. Speak daily affirmation into your life. Affirmations are positive thoughts accompanied with affirmative beliefs and personal statements of truth. They are recited in the first person, present tense (“I am…”). Affirmations used daily can release stress, build confidence, and improve outlook. For maximum effectiveness, affirmations should be chosen carefully, be based in truth, and address current needs. Here is a list of 100 daily affirmations to help you get started.
4. Wake up on your terms. Most of us have alarm clocks programmed because of the expectations of others: a workplace, a school, or a waking child. That’s probably not going to change. But that doesn’t mean we have to lose control over our mornings in the process. Wake up just a little bit early and establish an empowering, meaningful, morning routine. Start each day on your terms. The next 23 hours will thank you for it.
5. Hold back a complaint. The next time you want to lash out in verbal complaint towards a person, a situation, or yourself, don’t. Instead, humbly keep it to yourself. You’ll likely diffuse an unhealthy, unhappy environment. But more than that, you’ll experience joy by choosing peace in a difficult situation.
6. Practice one life-improving discipline. There is happiness and fulfillment to be found in personal growth. To know that you have intentionally devoted time and energy to personal improvement is one of the most satisfying feelings you’ll ever experience. Embrace and practice at least one act of self-discipline each day. This could be exercise, budgeting, or guided-learning… whatever your life needs today to continue growing. Find it. Practice it. Celebrate it.
7. Use your strengths. Each of us have natural talents, strengths, and abilities. And when we use them effectively, we feel alive and comfortable in our skin. They help us find joy in our being and happiness in our design. So embrace your strengths and choose to operate within your giftedness each day. If you need to find this outlet outside your employment, by all means, find this outlet.
8. Accomplish one important task. Because happy people choose happiness, they take control over their lives. They don’t make decisions based on a need to pursue joy. Instead, they operate out of the satisfaction they have already chosen. They realize there are demands on their time, helpful pursuits to accomplish, and important contributions to make to the world around them. Choose one important task that you can accomplish each day. And find joy in your contribution.
9. Eat a healthy meal/snack. We are spiritual, emotional, and mental beings. We are also physical bodies. Our lives cannot be wholly separated into its parts. As a result, one aspect always influences the others. For example, our physical bodies will always have impact over our spiritual and emotional well-being. Therefore, caring for our physical well-being can have significant benefit for our emotional standing. One simple action to choose happiness today is to eat healthy foods. Your physical body will thank you… and so will your emotional well-being.
10. Treat others well. Everyone wants to be treated kindly. But more than that, deep down, we also want to treat others with the same respect that we would like given to us. Treat everyone you meet with kindness, patience, and grace. The Golden Rule is a powerful standard. It benefits the receiver. But also brings growing satisfaction in yourself as you seek to treat others as you would like to be treated.
11. Meditate. Find time alone in solitude. As our world increases in speed and noise, the ability to withdraw becomes even more essential. Studies confirm the importance and life-giving benefits of meditation. So take time to make time. And use meditation to search inward, connect spiritually, and improve your happiness today.
12. Search for benefit in your pain. This life can be difficult. Nobody escapes without pain. At some point—in some way—we all encounter it. When you do, remind yourself again that the trials may be difficult, but they will pass. And search deep to find meaning in the pain. Choose to look for the benefits that can be found in your trial. At the very least, perseverance is being built. And most likely, an ability to comfort others in their pain is also being developed.
Go today. Choose joy and be happy. That will make two of us.
S Lynch says
Haha haha!
Michael says
Having work with the dysfunctional, violent and kinda normals forever thirty years and I find Joshuas article right on target. He not only gives the prescription, he tells how to fulfill it. It is usually not enough to teach a way the learner must want to travel that way.
It’s all a journey learning, with some wanting more help than others.
Thank you, all
Dr. Brigette Rosendall says
Happiness is not a choice for many who suffer from mental health issues, such as major depressive disorder. Articles like this make them feel like failures as you indicate that they have a choice. They want to happy and well just as a cancer patient wishes to be cancer free. Do you think it is ethical to shame cancer patients or people born with diabetes for their illnesses?
SB H says
I think he is talking to the majority of folks who just struggle with the stuff life throws at us. I have some infrequent bouts of overwhelming sadness and worry. I take medication but it doesn’t make my feelings disappear. I still have to choose to manage them rather than have them manage me. I see no shaming in this article. All the strategies mentioned are worthwhile.
Crystal Bigbee says
Well said and I agree
Sara R says
Not every writer is writing to encompass all people. But, you are a doctor and you downplay positivity????
All mental patients should be encouraged toward positive, good perspectives and practices. Reread his article. It might help you. Then pray. It might help more.
kim says
Excellent response. Well said.
Stephen Arduine says
Well said.
Philippa Mayall says
All mental patients should be encouraged? But that’s the kind of things that as a mental patient myself (try not to leave out the health part cos it could offend some so mental health.) would make me instantly not trust you. Because you can’t understand me if that’s what you think it takes. We’re done. I’ve evolved a lot but mental patients are all different and it would be more harmful for some.
David says
Boo
Robert Walker says
i have bipolar disorder and ADHD and was not diagnosed until I was 60 years old . Navigating life with this combination is interesting, to be sure.
Deciding to be happy is the one part of my treatment that works dependably. medications occasionally fail. But taking charge of my mental state is something I can claim control over,
It takes a little time, but it will change your life forever.
Philippa Mayall says
I’ve had PTSD and major depressive order most of my life. And everyday up until a decade ago I contemplated falling under the wheels of a bus cos I didn’t see how the pain would ever go away. It’s still not. But it moved to a different part of my brain.
My little brothers were killed in a house fire when we were kids. My mums boyfriend dropped his cigarette when he was drunk. He was manic depressive and violent.
I lived and my little brothers died? No way. I couldn’t be happy with that ever. And it took a long long time. If anyone had said the above to me I wouldn’t trust them at all.
Mellieh says
Well it helped me and I have been struggling with sadness, anxiety and depression for decades. I found their words empowering. So thank you to the author Joshua Becker!
Meena Lee says
Wow how you could take such a positive article and draw such a conclusion is mind boggling and sad. Could not disagree more and your comments are so unfair to the author.
gienne f says
Are you okay? You sound angry and judgmental. I’m glad you’re not my doctor, to say the least.
Jennifer says
Empowering people and giving them tools can give hope! These are good tools that have helped me in the past. I suffer with depression and sometimes knowing that i have choices to change my thoughts, actions and words can turn around a moment, a day, a week…I’m 56 and have just realized that feelings are fickle and learning not to hold stock in them what I feel in a moment and remembering that the the words “this too shall pass” is real and true!
J Fritz says
I love “this too will pass!” My dad said it a lot……. He was a happy man!
Lee Ann Baker says
I think it’s perfectly okay to encourage others…everyday!! I suffer with depression and I don’t feel shamed at all..:I am thankful for this and enjoyed reading…going to attempt to apply some of it to my life!!! Thanks!! Have a great day❤️
Christine Cummings says
This is called “lying in wait to be offended!” You may have heard of this condition. No information can encompass 100% of the human circumstances that one may find ourselves in or faced with. Take what you can, apply it to your life and use it as best you can. If not applicable, read on to find the right thing that moves you! 🙏🌞💐
Philippa Mayall says
I agree. It’s not always so simplistic. I’ve had PTSD most of my life and major depressive order. I have a lot to celebrate in terms of how I managed to find help and things have shifted. But before that I could care less. Had I of read this i would fall further into a hole. I may have also printed it out and used it for target practice. It’s more examples of the world failing me.
John Bielinski says
I respect what you are saying. I am powerless over alcohol. But.. i can take action to optimize my life. Do people with psychiatric disease have a choice to seek help? Do you feel it is more empowering to tell people there is nothing they can do to better their life? Are you suggesting people embrace being a victim?
Christina Miller says
In my opinion it’s actually more discouraging to be told happiness is not a choice. To be told if you have a physical or mental illness “that’s it you aren’t going to be able to be happy” I am glad you aren’t the one I am getting advice from.
Teena Miller says
Much needed, I’m dealing with a lot of these on a daily basis! Having a way to deal with them is wonderful, thank you. Blessings🙏🏻👍❤️
Betsy says
Thank you, Joshua. I love reading your post. Every summer my kids will bring theirs and let them stay for few weeks. To me it is a blessing to have my grandkids and give treat that their parents would never allow. I am 65 and lost my husband three years ago. I start to take yoga and learn Spanish. I worked for 25 years in hospitality and hotel and enjoyed events and socializing meet up. Having more time for myself and free from a strict schedule is liberating and I can now do what I have nt been able to do raising my three children. Now I am a widow and I spend a lot of time in the community and helping those who needs help. That’swhat I always wanted and fullfilling for me.
Sathia Karunakaran says
You sound like some like me but who has found her way to making happiness her choice – well done 🙏
Lillie Williams says
This is fantastic and I need it. Thank you for sending it out.
Lorraine Kelly says
Thank you for this, very well written and makes total sense. A great guide to live by daily 🙏😊
Simmi Kapoor Gupta says
Thank you for sharing inspirational ways to be happy.. I am following some of them and will try to follow others🙂.
Angie Grissom says
Excellent and on target. Well written. Thank you.
Michelle Doherty says
Thank you for this article, it is incredibly powerful and a great reminder that several small changes can be as powerful as a major life change.
Kim says
Truth!