On June 12th, 1999, I married my wife Kim. I stood in front of friends and family, witnesses and God, and declared that I would love her and be faithful to her, for better or worse, until death do us part.
It was a decision and commitment made at a specific moment in time. Early in the afternoon on Saturday, June 12th.
It was a one-time decision. But that was not the end. It is also a decision that has to be re-chosen every single day.
You see, every morning when I wake up, I am offered a choice: Will I be faithful to my wife today? And every day, I must choose faithfulness.
My marriage vows were a one-time declaration but an everyday decision.
This is true about many of the most important decisions we make for our lives.
We choose our life every day.
We don’t necessarily choose our circumstances every day, but we do choose the person we are going to be.
My faith is important to me. I made a commitment to God and others many years ago… but each day I must choose to follow Him.
My family is important to me. I love my kids and I want to be both available for them and intentional in parenting… but every day I must choose to put their interests ahead of mine.
My health is important to me. Countless times I have committed to regular exercise and a healthy diet… but you know as well as I do, this is an intentional decision we must make every day.
I chose minimalism as a lifestyle almost 11 years ago… but every day, I must choose to reject the empty promises of consumerism because the temptation surrounds me constantly.
I desire to live a life of impact and significance… this requires me to make intentional decisions about time and opportunity almost every day of my life.
I believe a life lived in the pursuit of wealth is a temptation and a trap… but choosing to live for greater purposes is something I must do each day.
For you, the examples may be different. But the reality is the same:
We choose our life every day.
Annie Dillard said it this way, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
Some may see this as a burden. Their thinking might go like this, “Oh man, I have to choose a healthy diet again today.”
But seeing our daily choice as a burden is faulty thinking.
Because I get to choose my life every day, it means each day is filled with opportunity. It also means, with each new sunrise, I am provided opportunity to change or redirect course.
When I recognize choosing faithfulness, health, significance, impact, and intentionality is the best thing I can do for my life going forward, it means each day I am presented opportunity to choose the greater good.
Every morning, we get to choose the direction and the habits that lead us to live our best life possible. What a privilege!
What an honor!
What an opportunity!
May we choose the best for ourselves (and others) every single day.
Congrats on your upcoming 20-year anniversary. My 10-year anniversary is on June 20. I keep reminding myself, “Don’t forget. Don’t forget.”
I’m very thankful for my wife. My dad died less than a month before I got married, so it wasn’t an easy start. The day after he died is when I found minimalism. Granted, I didn’t know it by name at that time. My first full day as a husband was Father’s Day.
Enjoyed the post as well, as always. Thanks for sharing your words.
I believe this with all my heart. But there are times in life where it is just survival. Right this moment I am waiting on phone call to tell me my father is being transported to local nursing home for rehab. I have been at hospital an hour away for five days. I have a young child at home to do homework with and tuck in at night. I am so tired that to even think about a decision apart from survival overwhelms me. I wish someone would tell me how to think clearly when the mind is too tired to do anything but go through the closest drive-thru and eat whatever is easy to handle while driving. Or the mind is so tired it takes every ounce of patience to not cry when a child cannot read his assignment fast enough for me to go to bed. It all sounds good, the every day choice, but some days in life we have no choice but to survive.
Hang in there, Judy. It sounds like you have your priorities set for now, which is at least part of the point of minimalism. Take one day at a time. Then some day people will ask how you did it, and you can smile beatifically.
Also maybe if you can get frozen vegetables, like in the microwave bags, you can halve them with your drive thru and feel a little better.
So true! A good reminder that each day and moment counts and we need to be intentional about our choices.
Thank you for remember us, this so simple, powerfull and wisdom words. Kiss from Portugal
Such a beautiful text, thank you for sharing it. I wish more people would realize this. I’m sure many of us would be much happier with their lives if they understood what amazing things each and every one of us has in our lives; friends, family, dream jobs, hobbies, creative projects, etc.
Teresa Maria | Outlandish Blog
Exactly! Thank you for writing this and expressing the positive power of personal choice.
Great article and very timely for me Joshua. Thank you for sharing your insight on this.
True to the minimalism you choose to embrace, this article conveys powerful principles in a succinct and clear manner. Thank you for sharing this with us!
This was a great piece, short and to the point. Thank you.
Beautifully written!
This morning, I am just really appreciating your simple wisdom. We live in such a fast paced world and wisdom is not usually what we experience unless we seek it out. Thank you for being a wonderful reminder of the power of our everyday choices. Blessings from Florida!
I loved reading this one. Truly motivational, inspiring and empowering.. Thank you.
Thank you for this gentle reminder, Joshua! Being mindful to have gratitude for the choices we make to better our lives is helpful in our staying committed to them, as well, rather than viewing them as a necessary burden. Happy 20th anniversary! <3
This is great advice that I wish young and old alike would follow. In October my wife and I will be married 50 years. We enjoy every day because we have lived conservatively not miserly. We can be generous with our kids and grandkids and our church and others because we chose a path that led to minimalism plus… generosity plus faith.
Pat–I would love to learn more from you and your wisdom. Do you have an online site of any kind?
Greetings from South Dakota
Karen
You are so eloquent. This really resonates with me and I plan to share with loved ones and print as a daily reminder for myself!
Thank you for more words of wisdom!
Beautiful reminder, thank you.
Well said, something that is better learned early in our lives but seldom is! Beautifully stated!
Joshua, this essay is profound. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. You have truly found the way to make an impact in the world. Please continue doing this work, for ever and ever.
I believe this to the core of my being. Of course I say it by saying, “I get to make it up!” Like you, I’m not talking about controlling everything, I’m talking about the awareness that no matter what happens I get to “make up” how I will respond in any given situation. My responses and my choices determine the course of my life. And yeah, I do my best to write about it as often as I can because I don’t think we can hear to many reminders. Thank you for this. ~Kathy
Thank you for opening up with the analogy of marriage in regards to commitment. That is a useful and practical image that I can relate to in regards to making a choice each day when I wake up. After 31 years of marriage, I am more deeply committed than ever to my husband and my best friend on life’s journey.
And thank you for sharing about the choice between viewing something as a burden or as a privilege, an honor and an opportunity. I too see “choice” as having two sides to the same coin: freedom and responsibility. We get to choose and one can see this choice as an honor to participate as a co human being on this beautiful earth.
When I used to work with young children in the kindergarten, I found I had more positive results when I worded requests to help out with a spirit of positivity, collaboration and care. For example,
instead of saying “you have to set the table” or “you have to put the toys away”, I would say “now, we get to set the table for snack” or “now, we get to put our toys away so they can have a rest, just like we rest at night too!” I would also demonstrate care of our things,
(by having a manageable amount of toys on the shelf) and caring for them, by placing them away with intention and repairing broken ones with them.
I strive to apply this philosophy to my every day life as an adult. Instead of thinking “I have to clean the bathroom or wash the dishes” I say “I get to take care of my home. I love my home. And by having a manageable amount of things, it does not feel like a burden, but a joy and an honor and a privilege.
Of course, there are moments where I too forget, and get lazy or tired and try to remember those kindergarten moments where we would sing as we worked putting away the toys or setting the table…then standing back to admire the beauty and satisfaction of our work.
Thank you Joshua for the reminder of the spirit of joy in commitment.
with gratitude,
Christine Summerfield
Boulder, CO
Christine, Thank you for that. I will use those words with my children! I always tell them they need to contribute to the household. Now I will say, you get to contribute! :)
Thank you for opening up with the analogy of marriage in regards to commitment. That is a useful and practical image that I can relate to in regards to making a choice each day when I wake up. After 31 years of marriage, I am more deeply committed than ever to my husband and my best friend on life’s journey.
And thank you for sharing about the choice between viewing something as a burden OR as a privilege, an honor and an opportunity. I too see “choice” as having two sides to the same coin: freedom and responsibility. We get to choose and one can see this choice as an honor to participate in the care of every day life as a co participant in the story of humanity.
When I used to work with young children in the kindergarten, I found I had more positive results when I worded requests to help out with a spirit of positivity, collaboration and care. For example,
instead of saying “you have to set the table” or “you have to put the toys away”, I would say “now, we get to set the table for snack” or “now, we get to put our toys away so they can have a rest, just like we rest at night too!” I would also model care of our things,
(by having a manageable amount of toys on the shelf) and caring for them, by placing them away with intention and repairing broken ones with them.
I strive to apply this philosophy to my every day life as an adult. Instead of thinking “I have to clean the bathroom or wash the dishes” I say “I get to take care of my home.” I love my home. And by having a manageable amount of things, it does not feel like a burden, but a joy and an honor and a privilege.
Of course, there are moments where I too forget, and get lazy or tired and then I try to remember those kindergarten moments where we would sing as we worked putting away the toys or setting the table…then standing back to admire the beauty and satisfaction of our work.
Thank you Joshua for the reminder of the spirit of joy in commitment.
with gratitude,
Christine Summerfield
Boulder, CO
I enjoyed reading your thoughts on the perspective on how to look at our actions.
Karen
South Dakota
Well said!
I love your faith-based, intentional approach to life, and your posts/emails are so uplifting and inspiring! Your encouragement helps me stay focused on the important things in life when our choices are so overwhelming. Thank you for what you do!
Love this. In the same way, one day many years ago I made the decision to live (stop trying to leave) and chose to walk that decision out day by day. Or, after my third child was born I held her in my arms and decided I would never again hate myself or treat my body with contempt – for her sake and mine. I made the decision once but practiced it daily.
Thank you for the reminder. It is simple and at the same time strong.
Kind regards,
Excellent read. Thank you!
Thank you, Joshua, for this article. I really needed this today (and every day!). I was really excited to begin my journey in minimalism but after a while, my steam of excitement started to diminish and I felt like I was failing. I realize every day is a NEW day and I can make small changes daily. You inspire me and my family! Thank you millions!
I CHOSE to read this post…
So glad I did!
Excellent article
Thank you!
I enjoy your commentaries. I say…
Acquire only that what you need, not what you greed.
It is our need to know that ….our intent supersedes all processes and results/products.
Being a love-based Christian demarks the most important wrestling match before each of us.
Wow! What an absolutely beautiful reminder! Thanks so this today!
Right on point! I love the positive outlook on the life we choose everyday! I often need a reminder and encouragement along the way and this is so direct and well written!
So beautifully written. I have saved this and will refer to it often. You are a wonderful inspiration for people who want to live this way. Thank you so very much!
Really enjoyed this article! I find that writing my life’s priorities and visiting them often will set the ground for the decisions I make every single day. I try to simplify my life every single day. Thank you for sharing!
Such a beautiful reminder and so well written! thank you Joshua, I needed to read this today! :)
Living in the moment. Being present. Trusting God to do what He does best. All of your points were excellent. Simple. Excellent. Thank you.
This is one of your very best articles Joshua.
Thank you for sharing.
One of the most profound pieces of advice I ever heard was delivered at a wedding shower when a guest told the bride “Happily Ever After is not a fairy tale – it is a choice you make everyday”.
perfection. thank you for sharing.
Such great wisdom and truth. Thank you for sharing this with me. The pursuit of meaning and purpose: that’s what I want my life to be about.
I loved this.. I am struggling with things in my life right now. I thank you for your willingness to share and be honest and share your truths
Each new day we are born again!
This is such a beautiful piece. It is so awesome to see how God has used this passion in you to help and serve others. –I bet you and Kim could have never dreamed of this 20 years ago! –A purpose-driven life–bloom where you are planted! –Thanks so much and congratulations!
One year ago, I googled minimalism, because my family had been referring to me as a minimalist for a long time. I wanted to know what they meant. I came across the becomingminimalist blog, finally felt like I belonged, and have been hooked ever since. Each week, I highly anticipate my Joshua Becker emails. The articles hit home every single time. This one, in particular, as I am 14 weeks postpartum, has greatly blessed me! I truly understand what it means to choose this day, Whom I will serve…now I get it, because of your message. Thank you for this Daily Bread.
Best post to date. Thank you for sharing. God bless you on this journey.
Well said!
Great article Joshua. I love that Annie Dillard quote. It’s the seemingly inconsequential decisions we make on a daily basis that compound to shape our lives. Thanks for the timely reminder :)