“We always pay dearly for chasing after what is cheap.” —Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn
Six years ago, we sold, donated, and discarded most of our material possessions. It was a decision based on discontent with our current lives. We were tired of living paycheck to paycheck—never able to get ahead. And we were growing weary of all the time, energy, and effort our material possessions were draining from us. We realized we had too few resources left over for the things most important to us.
Not only were our possessions not adding joy to our lives, they were distracting us from the very things that did.
Since embarking on this life-giving journey, we have found this lifestyle resonates with most people who are introduced to it. Most of us know we own too much stuff. We have seen the pursuit of minimalism transform the lives of young couples, parents, and older generations. But one of our greatest desires is to also inspire teenagers to become conscience consumers and build a better life by owning less.
There are, of course, significant challenges in reaching teenagers with the message of owning less:
- Our world grows increasingly materialistic.
- Teenagers value acceptance and conformity with their peers.
- Advertisers routinely and intentionally target the young adult demographic.
- Teenagers are beginning to explore their own decision-making. As a result, they are often less likely to value input from others—particularly parents.
The challenges are formidable. But we also recognize the benefits of reaching students with the message of conscious consumerism:
- Many of their significant decisions are still ahead of them. The message of simplicity helps equip them to make wise ones.
- They are not in debt—yet. As a result, they are not held captive under the weight of creditors (especially housing, cars, student loans).
- Their spending habits are not yet formed. They are definitely being shaped, but are not fully determined.
We must recognize the challenges before us. But, as parents ourselves, we also understand the importance of sparing our teenagers from decades of financial burden and empty promises of fulfillment. We recognize an important opportunity to inspire teenagers to pursue lives of greater value.
As parents, mentors, and community members, consider embracing these 10 important tips for raising consumer conscious teenagers in an age of excess:
1. Model simplicity. The cliche rings true, “Life lessons are better caught than taught.” The first (and most important) step in raising minimalist teenagers is to model for them the joys and benefits of intentionally living with less.
2. Encourage idealism. Many teenagers embrace idealism and desire to find a cause that can change the world. But far too often, teenage idealism is misunderstood and/or discouraged. It ought to be encouraged. Allow children of all ages to dream bigger dreams than cozy homes, cool cars, and white picket fences.
3. Volunteer as a family. Be active offering your time in the community through a local food bank, soup kitchen or community organization that serves the underprivileged in your area.
4. Watch less television. It’s not as hard as you think—and has immediate, positive results for you and your child.
5. Make teenagers pay for expensive items themselves. Every parent ought to provide food, clothing, shelter, and basic necessities. And every parent should give good gifts to their kids. But asking your teenager to purchase expensive items with their own money will create a stronger sense of ownership and a better understanding of the relationship between work, money, and consumerism.
6. Encourage teenagers to recognize the underlying message in advertising. Advertisements are not going away and can never be completely avoided. Help your child read behind the marketing message by often asking, “What are they really trying to sell you with this advertisement? Do you think that product will deliver on its promise?” If luck is in your favor, it can even become a fun little game in your family.
7. Find an ally. By the time your children have reached the teenage years, your role as a parent has changed significantly. In most families, teenagers are beginning to express independence in their relationship with their parents … but that doesn’t mean they’ll never listen. Find an accompanying voice in your community that subscribes to your values and provide opportunities for him/her to speak into your teenager’s life.
8. Discourage entitlement in your family. Often times, as parents, we work hard to ensure a significant advantage for our children by providing for them at all costs. But as we do, we equally run the risk of not preparing them for life by neglecting to teach them the truths of responsibility. It is hard work maintaining the possessions of life (lawns have to be mowed, cars cleaned & maintained, laundry sorted, rooms tidied). Expose teenagers to this truth as early (and as often) as possible.
9. Travel to less developed countries. This world is big and the cultures are varied. Some of the most teachable moments of my teenage years occurred while visiting third-world countries and experiencing the living conditions of those who live on so little (an estimated 6 billion people live on less than $13,000/year). Their joy and peace has served as an inspiration to me even up to this day.
10. Teach them what matters most is not what they own, but who they are. A man or woman of noble character holds a far greater asset than those who have traded it for material possessions. Believe this truth. Live this truth. And remind the teenagers in your life of it as often as possible.
We have chased happiness, joy, and fulfillment in the pursuit of riches and possessions for far too long. (tweet that)
It is time we intentionally raise a generation that values greater things.
Having begun our married life as minimalists, we naturally incorporated most of these ideas when raising our children. Consequently, as adults, they are quite frugal and very understanding and compassionate about the needs of others. They are service oriented, but still know how to get the greatest pleasure from the least amount of expense.
Must tell this story about our middle daughter and her closest friend. When Zieka was 13, her father was in a major construction accident. Our frugal life became even more frugal. I still had a nursing toddler so full time work was out but I did take a one day a week job at a friend’s consignment shop and was the seamstress for the store. One of the benefits was being able to purchase clothing for our family at an even greater savings, with my employee discount. Well, Zieka was having a conversation with her friend, who was a bit spoiled and “entitled”. They were talking about clothing and such, as teenage girls do. At one point the other girl commented “Oh, you have no reason to complain. Your family is RICH!”Zieka laughed and said where did you get that silly idea. The girl said, well, you always have such stylish clothing and such. Zieka couldn’t wait to tell me about this as she rarely wore anything that cost even five dollars. Plus, we resold and recycled her clothing as needed.
We were out of debt when her Dad had the accident, only paid cash, raised most of our own food, etc.. We had five children, all home educated (less peer pressure, for sure) and simply lived free because we worked at it. And we always tithed… a tenth of every cent that came in… and gave away continually to others. Still live that way and so does Zieka, with her husband and five children.
Folks, it can be done and your teenagers will embrace these ideas if they are treated with love and respect and minimalism is considered a joy rather than a punishment.
Start today…learn to live free and teach your children the same.
I can’t tell you how much I love this article Joshua! To pass on these important qualities, Minimalist or not, is one of the best gifts you could give your children. I have a rather unique teenage daughter. She’s the one that got ME into Minimalism! She came to me one day and asked me to sell all of her bedroom furniture in her room. She bagged up most of her clothes and we donated them. We sold her furniture and used the cash to buy music festival tickets that we went to together. Somehow through that experience with my teenager I found Minimalism. To this day she still has her bed on the floor and one night stand.
When I was 13 I went to the Dominican Republic. We went on a tour and the guide asked us if we noticed that everyone was happy. How can people be so happy and have so little? Easy..there’s no money.
17 years later and it’s still the most memorable part of that trip,
That’s the smallest problem right now.
There will be war with Russia, North Korea, China and the Caliphate.
There will be war by police and against police.
Unemployment in America will skyrocket after the oil industry crumbled.
Detroit and Ferguson are just the beginning.
Influenza, measles, whooping cough, dengue, chikungunya, tuberculosis, meningitis will swoop over the continent.
On the other hand with all auper markets closed those who are content will survive and thrive.
As a 7th grade teacher who is pursuing a minimalist lifestyle more and more myself, I have often cringed at some of the comments of my students and how much they have already been sucked into the idea of consumerism and its supposed rewards. Although I could never have the kind of influence a parent doing these things could have, I was pleased to find that I am doing some of these things unconsciously (or consciously) in my classroom. For example, at the end of my trimester-long Spanish class, I do a whole class period filled with pictures from my time in El Salvador, with one of my key take-away points being how lucky we are to enjoy so many conveniences and luxuries that we so often take for granted (like washing machines and ovens). Sometimes some of the students will make fun of the poverty they see in the pictures, but I’m hoping that with persistence, my message will at least reach some of them. Thank you for this post! I don’t usually comment, but know that you have an appreciate reader who is endlessly grateful to have found your blog. Keep up the good work!
Great list! I implement much of this already, but will be sharing the list with my friends!
Regarding #5…
The best thing I ever did was write a schedule of simple chores, most which my ten year old had been doing for a couple years, and designate an allowance, age amount of dollars per week, (paid at the beginning of each month, so 40 per month, then– even months with more weeks than that, taxes, yanno. ;) ) half of which we go to the bank and put in his savings, monthly, to be spent when he wants something big, he says he’s saving for a car… The other half can be saved up or spent as he likes. But he is NOT to ask me to buy anything extra outside of birthdays/Christmas anymore. His list of things he HAS TO HAVE has gone down drastically, and he thinks greatly before he spends. He also must put half of birthday/Christmas monies in the bank. He’s about to turn 13, and he knows what it means to earn and spend, and we are currently showing him what it means to live with less stuff. I hope it sticks. Bonus is he gets a raise every birthday. :)
We also have a just turned two year old who we had a party for last weekend and I told people if they wanted to gift, that we are purchasing a wagon for him, and if they contribute they can write in the book we are creating for him, complete with pics of him riding around town. Contributions to his savings account were also an option, and with that, writing in the journal for him which he can read later telling him all the wonderful people who contributed, and their wishes for him. Of course, my friends are hilarious, and wrote stuff like, “this is for your first Vegas trip/hookers and blow/bail money.” *sigh* he can read that when he’s 21 and laugh. At least I didn’t have a lots of packaging trash and crappy plastic toys! Yay, minimalism!