Note: This is a guest post by Rachelle Crawford of Abundant Life With Less.
I’m not a DIY kind of person. While I’m certainly not afraid to get my hands dirty, attention to detail just isn’t my thing. People who take on home renovation projects themselves amaze me. I’ve got a good friend who tiled her entire shower by herself. You see, there are people who tile, and there are people who pay people to tile. I fall into that second group.
However, back in April 2020, I had to cut my husband’s hair. Talk about attention to detail. I had never cut anyone’s hair prior to then. Well, I did trim my bangs a couple times back in the 90’s. Let’s just say, I learned the hard way that cutting human hair was not the career path for me.
With the world locked down and my husband’s hair too long for comfort, he went ahead and tried to order a set of hair clippers off Amazon. Of course, everyone else was doing the same thing so they were totally sold out. Beard trimmers were the only available option. Fun fact: When these high quality trimmers finally arrived, the box actually read, “Bread Trimmers,” instead of “Beard Trimmers.” I kid you not. Any port in a storm, I guess.
Hopped up on coffee and adrenaline, with only a YouTube degree to rely on, I hesitantly took that first swipe up the back of his head with my bread trimmers. With each successful graze I grew just a little bit more confident… that is, until it came time to switch from trimmers to scissors. It’s surprisingly difficult to use a comb and scissors at the same time. They make it look so easy.
I fumbled quite a bit, stabbed myself more times than an adult wielding scissors should and felt like tossing in the towel. My husband, however, made it very clear, quitting mid haircut wasn’t an option, so I had to figure it out.
It took me far longer than it would have a trained professional, but in the end, it didn’t look too shabby. For the remainder of that weird year, I became the family stylist. With every haircut I got a little faster, grew a little more confident and lost a little less blood.
Decluttering our homes is often a similar experience. Well, hopefully minus the blood loss. We realize our home has grown a little crowded, hesitantly start pruning the excess, and then panic when it starts to get tough. I know this because that’s exactly what happened to me. After just a couple weeks of decluttering my home, I freaked out. “What have I done?” I thought. The space around me was growing uncomfortably sparse and I started to second guess myself.
In a recent, not-so-scientific, Instagram survey, I asked fellow minimalists if they too recall hitting a wall while decluttering. Of those who responded, exactly half of them found themselves overwhelmed during the decluttering process. Of those who hit a wall, 18% opted to toss in the towel entirely. They were just too overwhelmed to continue. But 82% continued to declutter despite the wall. They found a way to press on. I wanted to learn what worked for them.
I asked my Instagram community exactly how they either managed to avoid a head on collision with decluttering fatigue or how they survived it. Here are the top three answers.
1. Take a Break
You’d think it would be common sense, you know, when you’re tired or overwhelmed, to take a break. However, in a culture pushing us into the busy life, we’ve gotten pretty used to hustling until we burn out.
If we want a clutter free home though, we’ve got to play the long game. Slow and steady is far more sustainable than intermittent rage decluttering. Taking regular breaks is the number one way to stay the course.
Those who managed to avoid the wall altogether, decluttered in waves, taking regular breaks or “breathing points” as Megan so beautifully put it. She went on to explain how she got into a nice rhythm. “Each time gets better and better… It’s a good balance of meeting my clutter threshold and making sure the rest of my family feels comfortable.”
Those who hit a wall but kept moving forward recognized when they needed to pause. They took time, a few days to a few weeks, to both enjoy the progress they’d made and spend time doing something they enjoyed. Then they got back to it.
Very few people manage to declutter their homes in one fast, furious, and efficient swoop. It’s a process, an important one. If you feel like quitting, it’s a clear sign that it’s time to rest. Get outside, indulge in a hobby, enjoy your progress, or take an actual nap if you need to. Then start again.
2. Focus on the Benefits
My daughter is currently in the process of learning to ride her bike without training wheels. It’s a whole thing. What I noticed the other day is that she doesn’t look ahead. Instead, she keeps her eyes on the pedals. I don’t blame her. However, balance is next to impossible when you’re looking down at your feet.
The same goes for decluttering our home. It’s hard to make any real progress when we’re focused on what we’re giving up. If we’re going to stay the course, it’s imperative we focus on the benefits. This tip hit home for me because it’s exactly what kept me on track as well. When I focused on the piles, I grew anxious. However, when I focused on what lay ahead, I grew hopeful.
We could spend weeks, a lifetime even, fixating on how much money we spent on all the clothes we’re now donating. If we only focus on that though, we’ll never get any further. If instead, we focus on the people who will benefit from our donation, the money we’ll save by developing better spending habits and the space we are gaining by letting go, decluttering gets a whole lot easier.
Mollie said, “Once I got going, I just didn’t want to stop because the personal impact to the logistics of my life and my mental health were so significant… I saw immediately the daily benefit of less. Then I couldn’t unsee it and I had to tackle the rest of my home.”
It’s easy to lose sight of what we’re after, but we don’t have to stop there. Look up and start focusing on what you’re getting in return. Don’t forget to look behind you from time to time as well. It’s incredibly encouraging to see just how far you’ve come.
3. Declutter in Smaller Waves
It’s so easy, in all the excitement and hopeful anticipation, to bite off more than we can chew. We dive in, gutting cabinets and wreaking havoc, overestimating our energy level while underestimating just how long it’s going to take.
Finding yourself still awake at one in the morning, bagging up piles of old high school t-shirts will only leave you afraid to ever tackle another room in our home. Go big or go home isn’t the only option.
Many of those who stayed the course did so by decluttering in small waves, allowing themselves to build both momentum and confidence. Tenielle said she “decluttered in light layers several times over the last five years, each time getting a little more ruthless. I would have found it too overwhelming to tackle more at once.”
Samantha said, “I never hit a wall because I kept it manageable by doing small manageable goals. Instead of my entire closet in one day, I gave myself a month to slowly declutter my entire closet. If I feel like doing more I can! But I’m never completely overwhelmed by too big a task.”
Those who pressed on despite feeling overwhelmed simply recognized they had taken on a little more than they could handle and course corrected. Instead of quitting, they started setting smaller goals. For example, they’d opt to declutter one cabinet at a time rather than tackling an entire room.
Here are a few more helpful strategies shared by those who pressed on when the going got rough:
- Enlist help from a friend.
- Look for minimalist inspiration on social media.
- Take pictures of special items.
- Make a list of your progress.
- Move your excess stuff into a bedroom or basement, and donate it all after a predetermined amount of time.
- Read minimalism books from different perspectives.
- Reflect on before and after photos.
If you find yourself waist deep in clutter, wondering why you ever thought minimalism was for you, know that you’re not alone. I’ve been there too. As a worry-prone, messy person, I’ve got to say: If I can do this, so can you. If you start small, take regular breaks and keep your eyes on the horizon, one year from now you’ll be looking at a totally different space.
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Rachelle Crawford is the author of Messy Minimalism: Realistic Strategies for the Rest of Us. She blogs at Abundant Life With Less where she shares a grace-based approach to living clutter free. For more inspiration follow her on Instagram.
I have been a life long minimalist. Since I was a teen I hated clutter! I got married had 3 daughters so the clutter goes through stages. First to go toys that the kids outgrew, then clothes and so on. Have to say none of my kids like clutter either!! My kids are now grown and we have moved a lot! Moves are also a great time to declutter. Leave the crap and bring the good stuff. I could definitely write a book on moving and decluttering! So my husband and I are in our 60s currently living in a 2 bedroom apartment. I’m still decluttering. It’s a life long commitment! Thank goodness my husband hates clutter as well. Anyways everyone keep up the good work!!
Excellent article on de-cluttering! Busy doing that now. Unknowingly have done the ‘have a break, do a declutter’! One word of advice I’d give is don’t leave to long a ‘break’. Try to maintain a momentum of reasonable ones. Good luck to all and other ‘declutterers’. Helps to know you are not alone
I having been following the Clear and Simple website for years. I am able to maintain some areas very well. The garage and basement are another story. I just made a printed sheet to hang up with the tips that spoke to me from this article and titled it “Decluttering Motivation”. “Focus on the Benefits” was a big one for me along with “Declutter in Waves”. Make a note about where you left off. I find this article very helpful and motivating. I will use the highlights for ongoing motivation. Great article thanks!
I get it. In our first house we had a storage under the stairs so anything we didn’t use we moved there . Then Hurricane Irene came and flooded the basement . I couldn’t call anyone as everyone’s house is also flooded . I realized the first time the cluster . For the things that weren’t worth we spent a week cleaning . Then the relocation came and we had a full room of clutter . We threw away books . When I relocated I made up my mind as we have to rent a 3 bedroom house to keep the clutter as we didn’t have time or energy . But I started going thru boxes every week like a clock work and cleaned everything . My husbands paperwork took 6 months as it was 20 years worth of papers going Thru shredding. Now we have most of the stuff gone cleaning takes less time . Height of my deck uttering: I got rid of the formal dining table so it stays empty . Anything we don’t use for 3 years it is gone . So my tips are go phase by phase . First get rid of big furnitures u don’t need. Then tackle every room . Once the rooms are done tackle every closet dresser . Now I can say my house is decluttered. When people come in the first thing they ask are you guys moving ? The house is so open airy and the biggest benefit : sense of calm
I suppose some would say we did a radical declutter. We needed to replace crummy cheap carpet in our home about 5y after we bought it. Yes the entire house! We asked the installers to divide our home in half and do the work on TH/F and M/T. We emptied half the house into our garage. On Saturday we spent the day touching every single item again. Use it-goes back in. Love it-goes back in. Everything else into car trunks and off to the thrift store. Rinse/Repeat.
HALF went away. It was a wonderful exercise of mindfulness. Here we are 25y later with space in our plenty large 1650sf home. Cupboards have breathing room. Closets have breathing room.
To this day I wander around sometimes and more stuff goes when I realize I haven’t used it since my last stroll/poke around. I also joined my neighborhood FB Buy-Nothing group. Folks will post a need. This makes me consider: Do I have it? Do I use it? Can I use something else? Can I fill that need?
No better lifestyle than mindfulness. We are just 61. We have no children. It is my hope that clearing our home will be a light process.
Best of luck everyone!
Great post Rachelle! I have found that taking it slow is the key. What used to look barren to me now looks clean and peaceful. But it took like like 15 years to feel that way. I used to have a strong desire to show my personality through stuff. Now I realize that half that stuff didn’t really represent me anyway and my life should show who I am. But it took time. And each time I went to declutter I felt more freedom and confidence!
I have thoroughly enjoyed reading this article and found it very relatable. I found No 2. Focus on the Benefits very up lifting. I have been decluttering for a few months now and when I do go shopping try very hard not to impulse buy anymore. If I am tempted to buy something I also ask myself what is the reason I would like it and how much is it going to actually benefit my life once I get it home or is it just a passing fancy. If you find you really want something you can always go back to buy it after you’ve given it serious thought.
Sometimes I wander around stores filling up my cart with every item I think I want. I love browsing. And by the time I’ve seen everything in the store, I can usually go back around and put everything back, feeling satisfied that I don’t really want it that much. I just wanted the thrill of choosing pretty things. And telling myself I can’t have it just makes me want it more. So I carry it around awhile feeling that it’s mine and I can have it. That scratches that itch and then I’m done with it!
I hit a wall at my closet. And a mini one at crafts but that was a question of picking three current things I was doing and getting rid of the rest. But I love mixing and matching clothes. It was hard to bring it down to a sensible capsule. I’m still not there but I did choose three neutrals and two accent colors and stop buying if it doesn’t fit with what I have. And get rid of one if I buy another. I’m still working on this.
I’m trying for 30 or so pieces. It’s getting there.
The thing that helped was to decide who I am and exactly what I wear. Shocked but I live in shirts, jeans and tennis shoes or loafers. My lifestyle doesn’t include events that I can’t wear this outfit too. Out with all the dressy. I live in rural, coastal community so church and fancy eating out for anniversary or wedding is our only dress up places. We don’t do white tablecloth dinners. BBQ and rodeos, outside music or art festivals. Know who you are and it helps minimize a lot.
Thanks for this one. Am a Music teacher who sees 350+ kids a week. Sharing 1 room and keeping it organized without clutter will save me. Am deep into my decluttering but now I have hope! For work and at home! Messy I can be, but need this type of gentle reminder that it’s a process, a marathon not a sprint! Good article!
I consider myself to fall closer to the minimalist end of the continuum than the other end which is a hoardist (is that a word?). What I find that helps me is to declutter only enough stuff to fill up my car and then take that car load immediately to the donation center. I take the stuff out of the house immediately and put it in the car so I can see the results right away. Then if i feel like it i do more carloads and more trips to donate or wait until i have time on another day.
• If you put the stuff in boxes, put the boxes out of sight!•
After a death and “divorce” I downsized from a three bedroom house into a smallish one bedroom and bath. The kitchen items went into the attic of shared space. It was not an easy task, but I’d had unsolicited help from thieves before hand which was a lesson in letting go as well. But when I found myself moving again from a small apartment into my parents house, I was suddenly faced with both their hoarding and all that I had collected and boarded as an early adult. I valiantly tackled a mountain of boxes of stuff, everything from a move and the aforementioned memory laden stuff, and even one of my parents rooms— but I became burnt out. I had learned the first time around That making decisions when too stressed led to regrets. So I decided to take no action while I was too overwhelmed but then I was facing a pile of boxes daily which wore on my self esteem to the point that I let the rest of my room turn into a mess.
The mess has lasted over a year and this is not the kind of break I’d wish on anyone. If you feel yourself getting too distressed, I highly recommend the authors suggestion of finding a place to put said boxes out of sight. I didn’t realize how much they would affect me, or thought they would motivate me to get rid of them more quickly— instead all it did was cause self-resentment.
*If you put the stuff in boxes, put the boxes out of sight!!!*
I have a little different strategy. I declutter in bursts – I have to be in the right frame of mind and mood to do it, but when I am, it’s Katie Bar the Door! I go like a maniac! A month to clear out a closet? Pfft… I did it in an hour. But there are times when there are weeks between my slightly manic bursts – so there’s still much to go. But the point is that you have to do what works for you! There are times these decluttering fits last for several days, and there are times when I’d rather take a beating than do it, so I just do something else. But the point about not going til you drop is well taken. Even when I’m tearing thru things, I need to rest for a bit, then dive back in. It’s about making your life better, not exhausting yourself. Keep in mind the goal of what you’re doing – that helps too!
It’s the books the whole family owns that are my stumbling block every time.
I couldn’t agree more! Really relatable, honest, inspiring, and sums up exactly how I’m feeling as I’m striving to move forwards with the decluttering. Thank you!
I think this is just about the best article I’ve read about moving forward in my quest for less! Thanks so much.