“Change brings opportunity.” —Nido Qubein
Over the past several years, I have had the privilege to introduce the idea of minimalism to a number of people. These introductions have occurred through personal conversation, writing, and speaking opportunities. But no matter how the introduction happens, each time, I feel a little bit renewed.
The idea of “finding more life by owning less stuff” resonates with most people.
But, unfortunately, I also find that for many, this is where their journey ends—at the introduction.
The idea of minimalism may sound attractive, but the first step appears elusive. And is too often, never taken.
There are a wide number of reasons that keep people from taking this first step towards living with less. And while they vary from person-to-person based on personality, history, gender, and worldview, I have found that most of the reasons keeping people from getting started towards minimalism fit into only a handful of categories. In hopes of providing encouragement to some of you, I thought it might be helpful to take a minute to answer most of them:
• Reason: I’ve Never Considered Intentionally Living With Less.
Interest in minimalist living is growing. You can blame it on the economy, technology, environmental-awareness, or blogs such as Zen Habits, Rowdy Kittens, and Be More With Less. It has been exciting to see the movement grow. But the percentages are still small. In the land of suburbia where I live, the idea of intentionally living with less is still a foreign concept. Hearts desire it, but too many minds have yet to be introduced.
Solution: If you ended up reading this post at the urging of a friend, consider yourself introduced. Intentionally living with less results in a life of less debt, less stress, and less anxiety. In exchange, you will discover more time and energy for the things you value most. Your greatest passions will again take their rightful place in your life.
• Reason: But I Don’t Know Where to Start.
For many, the task of minimizing their possessions seems overwhelming. Their minds race to drawers that don’t close, closets that don’t shut, and rooms that are stuffed full of unused things. The idea of decluttering their homes and lives is attractive, even necessary… but the simple obstacle of knowing where to start keeps many from even starting at all.
Solution: Start small and start easy. Find the easiest drawer, closet, or room to declutter and begin there. You don’t need to start with your attic or your basement. In fact, you probably shouldn’t. The task will be too great. Instead, choose the easiest place in your home – even if it is just one drawer. You’ll feel good when you are done (I guarantee it). And that feeling of success and relief will carry you on to the next step… and the next…. and the next… and eventually, even the attic.
• Reason: But I Don’t Have the Time.
Minimizing possessions takes time. You didn’t collect everything in your home over the course of one weekend and it’s going to take longer than one weekend to sort it out and remove the non-essentials. But we live such busy lives these days. Where can we find the time to accomplish such a large task?
Solution: If you can find 15 minutes, you can take the most important step – the first one. Investing just 15-20 minutes to minimize one area of your home is all you need to get started (especially if you have chosen something easy). Again, the immediate sense of calm you will find in owning less will motivate you to find another 15 minutes. If you struggle to even find 15 minutes, try one of these ideas: get up one hour early, take one afternoon off work, turn off the television, or dedicate one Saturday to decluttering. Any one of those options above will help you find more than enough time to get started.
• Reason: But I Could Never Get My Family On-board.
By far, the most common question I receive after speaking about minimalism relates to other family members (especially about husbands and teenagers). The fact that their family members will never go for the idea of living with less seems to outweigh any benefits of implementing it in their own lives.
Encouragement: Your husband/wife/children does not need to fully embrace the idea of minimalism for you to benefit from it. Remember, it is far easier to notice the clutter of others than it is to notice our own. But if you just decide to start with your own personal belongings, you will notice a HUGE difference. You will almost immediately find more time in your life for the things that matter most – even if your kids’ bedroom is still messy. And the more you begin to experience freedom in your life… the more your family members will start to take notice. Just ask my wife.
• Reason: But I Don’t Know What I’d Do With ________.
Another common thought-process I have noticed is that people’s minds often rush to their toughest belongings to minimize. These vary from person to person, but typically resemble sentimental items, books, or hobbies. Over the years, they have collected a large number of items in these particular areas and the thought of having to part with them raises concern… and often stops them from ever taking the first step.
Solution: You don’t have to part with anything until you are ready. And you certainly don’t have to begin by removing the things that mean the most to you. If you are anything like we were, you have a whole house (or at least, a clothes closet) full of things that don’t mean anything to you. They are just taking up space in your home and life. They don’t fit, match, or work anymore. They can easily be removed. Start there. And remember that there is no time limit on this journey. If you are not ready to part with the memories of your past today, don’t worry about it. Maybe you’ll be ready tomorrow… or the day after that.
• Reason: But I’m Afraid of Change.
Got it. Change doesn’t come easy to you. And intentionally deciding to live with less is among the biggest of changes that you could make in your life. It is a counter-cultural way to live life. After being fed millions of advertisements from the world around us promising that more is better, deciding to reject that thinking and live with less is going to require changes – not just in the home where you live, but in almost every aspect of your life going forward.
Solution: Change is never easy. And even though it is inevitable through this journey of life, we seem to avoid it whenever possible. But change comes easier when we realize the rationale behind it. The reasoning provides us with necessary motivation to make the needed changes. When we started out on our minimalist journey, I listed every benefit of minimalism that we were experiencing. The rationale and the reminder of why we were changing our lifestyle pushed us further down the road over and over again. Perhaps, they will provide the necessary foundation for you to embrace change in your life as well.
• Reason: But Minimalism Doesn’t Sound Attractive to Me.
Still, for others, they will never take their first step towards minimalism because the lifestyle does not sound attractive to them. They find no appeal in the idea of intentionally living with less. And believe that they want nothing to do with it.
Solution: I embraced the idea of minimalism because it became apparent to me that the stuff in my life was keeping me from the most important things in my life: faith, family, and friends. And since removing most of the personal possessions from my life, I have found more freedom, energy, and finances to pursue the relationships that mean the most to me. And that applies to this relationship as well. May our differing views on possessions never come between us as friends.
D says
I’ve been trying to really declutter my stuff. I love to travel, and slowly realized in the last couple years that I take the things I use the most, on my trips. It has really helped me figure out what clothes I do not like to wear, what makeup I don’t use etc. Its been a slow process decluttering, but realizing what I DONT take with me on trips, has really sped up what I feel comfortable getting rid of.
Konnie says
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, Joshua for all of the information on living a more minimalist lifestyle.
Unfortunately, it’s taken me 53 years of life and perpetual debt to realize the very things I thought would make my life better have in fact made it worse.
I just donated all kinds of “goodies” to charity this week and am on my way to simplifying my life in all ways possible — and it feels great, like a load of bricks were lifted from my chest.
AGS says
The quote you start with is nice, but it neglects another deep truth: With all change comes loss. And you don’t touch on that. The loss is what makes change scary. The key is not to overstate the loss, or to diminish it. But not acknowledging loss is going to be a huge hindrance for many folks who find themselves unable to move forward.
And although I’ve rid myself of thousands of items without noticing their absence later, it is the 1-3 items that I did later on need, that always come to mind when I consider deowning something.
Renee Coppi says
Thank you! The loss is a reality to me right now. I ve been a military wife and have moved atleast 12 times in 28yrs. Thought we were done. But now my husband has done a complete radical change & wants to live aboard sail. Even though it may seem like a false sense of security (belongings) maybe that & images of what I thought would be important, a study full of nicknacks & books is still hard to let go of…yet I wonder sometimes “is there something more”? I cried ALOT yesterday as a sweet young mom helped me go through my study. Still not all the way done. I feel like I need someone to hold my hand for 85% of this process. The goal is to narrow our house down to a 10×10 storage unit. For the sake of Christ & his glory, I have a deep trust deep w/in that this will be worth it…very very hard. Yet I want to have joy & faith for this new chapter of retirement. Free to travel & free to bloom together in a new way.
m says
HIM wanting to live on a boat and you not wanting to doesn’t mean you should tag along.
Marriage is 50/50 compromise that takes both people’s interests and wishes in mind.
If you don’t want to live on a boat, don’t… he can go boating a week or a few weeks if he chooses to, return to you for a few weeks, etc.
You don’t have to give up your lifestyle just because your spouse has a whim– he’s not giving up his whim of a chosen boating lifestyle for your chosen homestead lifestyle. Your partner should consider your wishes, not solely their own wishes.
Nikki says
I think you really hit on the thing that keeps me from fully embracing this. Thank you.
Tami says
This probably isn’t the right spot to respond, but I couldn’t figure out a way to just comment. That being said, while I love the idea of minimalist living & it is very much what I strive for. My long-term boyfriend came from an environment where they literally had nothing (very poor childhood) so material items & status items mean a great deal to him. So while I grew up in a (lower) middle-class family with adequate”things,” his “things” mean so much more to him because they weren’t just a given….as they have been for many of us. So when something gets ruined, I think it’s just a “thing” but it means so much more to him emotionally….it’s a symbol of how he surpassd something very difficult. I love the minimalist movement, but I do think it may take a very different emotional toll on people, depending on their social and economic upbringing….. Just some thoughts.
joshua becker says
Our “family of origin” does have a significant impact on our attachment to things. But I do not think the lines that separate people are socio-economic. I know plenty of wealthy individuals who have emotional attachments to possessions – and I know plenty of people with very little money that do not experience the same attachment.
sue says
Love your blog!
Max & Genevieve Thyssen says
Great enriching concept.. when getting older things become easier to understand and the rewards are more transparent.. lets indeed focus on the best and not become oppressed by less important and less needed matters and possessions.. minimize and enjoy !!!
ren says
So happy my boyfriend and I are on same page, went thru front closet. Got rid of jackets that havent been worn in years and went thru a basket of old travel brouchures that i didnt remember was even in there. Also went thru basement closet. Getting rid of snowmobile gear and other things I haven’t worn in years.
Every time I go upstairs I bring down something from storage room to go in donation box. Today even more goes in pile.
ren says
Just packed up some more boxes of not wanted items. I’m sooo tired of being told by my kids that I have too much stuff. Everything of theirs is going to be dropped off this month. Scrapbooks, photos, old clothes and toys.
Luci says
Why would you throw away photos and scrapbooks? The photos is going too far. ESPECIALLY if you mean your children’s. That would just be mean.
Les says
One solution may be to scan all your photos and store them on a CD-ROM. You can even do a secondary backup on an external hard drive. Those photos will never fade, and will take up far less space. AND, if you absolutely must have a paper copy, they can be created off the master disk at any time in the future. It’s an idea…
ren says
I meant that I took all their things to them… I didn’t throw them, never would do that. But the kids now have their things so they can enjoy them. No sense in it all sitting in totes in my basement.
Dee says
I think she means she is giving that stuff to her adult children. Often children move out to smaller digs (dorm/apt) and leave their stuff with Mom & Daddy. My grandparents are in their 80s. Their house is filled with clutter that is both theirs and their children’s (who are all in their early 60s!!)
I made a conscious choice to hand over a box of stuff last week our oldest left here after he finished basic training seven years ago. (We’d moved it twice from house to house!)
RC Kies says
I made a photo album for each of my children (2) starting with infant pictures up through their college graduation. Then I sorted what was left; made an album for myself (I do not need 15 pictures of them posing in front of the same waterfall); keeping only the best and most representative. I offered the rest to them to pick over, just in case. They politely declined, so I had a campfire one beautiful evening and as I dropped the remainder into the fire, I gave thanks for my wonderful children and the privilege of being their mom. No weird photos to be embarrassed over later, no boxes of random pictures to sort and probably discard after I’m gone. Their school totes (with labeled folders of each grade level) were given to them shortly after their respective marriages, for them to decide what to treasure and what to toss. I have enough photos to remember the joy of raising them.
Sherry Lucas says
I did the same :-)
Carol says
I’m trying to be more minimalist and I know I’ve gotten rid of a lot but whenever I look around I’m amazed by how much stuff I still have. I love talking about my journey with others and I’ve inspired a few friends to downsize their lives. I have one friend though that came to mind when I read this. She said she equates minimalism with poverty. She sees having lots of things as a sign of abundance in her life. I don’t push minimalism as owning “x” number of items. I try to explain it in terms of only owning things that I actually love or that add meaning and value to my life. I just wish I could get her to see minimalism as a positive thing.
ren says
I think some people think of minialmizing as having a room of nothing, or like a plate with one small bite of food. Depriving yourself.
I view it as having enough. Enough to enjoy life, not too little as to feel deprived. Not too much as to be overwhelmed and a glutton.
Everyone has their own view on what is enough.
Mary says
I keep reading your articles and they are inspiring. I need to minimize so badly. I started and stopped. Sometimes I succeed in starting again…many times I freeze in my tracks. It is overwhelming. Being home gives me anxiety and I need to be home to work on it. I lack total focus and it is severely compounded now by my best and primary friend of 10 years not being in my life anymore. I trudged on for 3 days then froze and panicked…I think the stuff/mess may have hid/distracted me from all that was wrong in my life. I have had such a hard time going through it since. Really trying to force myself to do a little at a time now because I think it IS stopping me from moving on and living.
ren says
One step at a time, no matter how small. Even if its just not bringing in more. Right? Hope your day’s are getting easier for u.
Susan from Kansas says
Joshua, I ran across your writings one day years ago while trying to regain my sanity looking for ways to de-clutter. I had never heard of “Minimalism” before, but it sounded good. Over 40 years of marriage, living in a farm house filled to the rafters, kids moving out, but didn’t take a darn thing, family wanting to “store stuff” in our basement, attic, upstairs, or barn, which they never seemed to come get, relatives die but never inheriting a cent– only junk/stuff, being poor and keeping everything because we “might use it some day” and can never afford to replace or buy it again — well things just seemed to pile up. I have always been a very good housekeeper, keep everything clean, but the old farm house was getting ready to burst, right along with my head! Sitting in the basement while a strong storm raged overhead I realized that if a tornado blew away the house I would be stuck in the basement with only the junk I didn’t want, need or could use, and clothes I couldn’t get my fat butt in anymore. I decided then, this insanity has got to stop!!! I have always liked nice clean simple white walls, clear counters, no mess — living with less would be a nice change! Having only what I want, need, can use, can wear, that I like, would be a welcome change.
I too struggled on where to start, my basement was making me the craziest so against better judgement, down the stairs I went to start on it. The first day all I got done is sitting on the basement steps & finishing off the box of chocolate that was left over from Christmas — I congratulated myself for a job well done–at least something was gone thru & the empty box was ready to toss out. On a sugar high I started making a game plan, got overwhelmed and quit. However over time, I kept at it, going thru stuff (found a zillion empty boxes–figured I was an “empty box hoarder”) my problem was as I went thru stuff, it seemed all I did was move it from one spot to another-got in the trap of “I need more storage boxes” then came across the blog of I just needed less crap! I got the families on board by “either come get it, it will be dumped on your lawn the next time I come see you, or it goes out”, for Christmas and Birthdays I wrapped the kids stuff up that was still good/new & gave it back to them so they can take it to their house. Hubby had the choice of him or me going thru stuff (actually he doesn’t know this yet, & still hasn’t missed anything he couldn’t do without–no use upsetting him by telling him some of his junk is gone, by the time he figures it out, he will probably be senile & I could tell him he never really had it–just something he saw on tv). The books went to the Library or with the rest of the stuff that I donated. Some things I threw out, gave away, very little was sold. I realized I pay for trash service & didn’t always fill up the bin–then I made it a point to make sure it was filled to the top every trash day! I got the kitchen & kitchen cabinets- drawers cleaned out when my hubby insisted I stay in the kitchen & was not to leave if I turned on the stove (seems I would hurry home from work, throw something on the stove to cook, go off to another room, get busy, forget I was cooking until the smoke alarms went off–kids started thinking it was the dinner bell) Since I was “stuck” in the kitchen, it was a way to get it cleaned out, since it was hubby’s idea, seems a lot of his junk disappeared that was taking up space. I threw away the old ratty clothes that were in the laundry (the washing machine ate them was a good excuse if asked), I made it a point of use it up, wear it out, learn to make it do, or do without. I quit buying anything but food, necessary items, etc over a year ago–I went thru stuff before any purchase to see what we had that we could use. Not buying & not shopping became a habit (diet & exercise not so much) – I could see progress, I felt lighter, better, clearer in mind, we had more time, more money, paid everything off –everyone seemed happier too. Having less, means you use the stuff you have, like, fits, and works. Use the good china, wear the good t-shirt, enjoy your stuff. Be proactive in not letting stuff come into the house that you don’t want, don’t computer online shop, get rid of catalogs so your not tempted to get something that you don’t need. Make a list when you do shop, no impulsive purchases! Start passing down heirlooms/items to those who want them, no use waiting until your dead, let the next generation enjoy them or use them now. Minimalism is a never ending journey that changes over time for each of us, so enjoy it. My attic/upstairs is next — wonder if I have a box of chocolate up there?!
ren says
SUSAN from KANSAS, best read ever since I started with this blog….I want to send you a box of chocolates for the inspiration and the laughs….I am also from the school of thought, they won’t miss it…probably don’t even remember they had it to begin with…
My older kids are getting their “treasures” before the holidays. My oldest told me awhile back that i have too much stuff. Well not for much longer. Merry Christmas to one and all, I say.