“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” —Mohandas K. Gandhi
78.4 years isn’t much time.
Even at my age, I can feel the pressure to pack my life full of activity and maximize my time by doing all I can.
In school, we’re encouraged to join as many clubs as possible to make the most of our educational experience. At work, it’s expected that we’ll be uber productive and take on more and more responsibility. Even at home, there’s a never ending to-do list of things that need maintained, fixed or upgraded.
And we go on living as if there’s nothing wrong with this system. As if the natural progression of humankind is to become the most efficient life form on earth.
If there’s nothing wrong with this system, then why are so many people unhappy? Why are so many on medication to control anxiety, stress, and depression?
Isn’t this a more telling sign of our “progression” as a species?
All this busyness has overloaded our minds. And we walk around with this nagging sense that there’s something we forgot to do. Or we feel guilty when we actually do take time to do nothing, be lazy with some friends, or watch a worm inch its way across the sidewalk.
There’s just no rest; no sense of completion. Ever.
And its eating away at us from the inside. Making it impossible to find a reason to smile, or be joyful, or just be.
But life doesn’t have to be so crazy. The craziness ends when people embrace the alternative: slowing down.
Slowing down is radical in this day and age. An age where…
…we burn with frustration if a website doesn’t load instantly.
…we think taking a nap is a sign of laziness.
…we check our email, facebook, twitter 15 times a day.
…we eat instant oatmeal for breakfast, frozen meals for lunch, and order takeout for dinner.
…we lose sleep over an upcoming deadline.
…we even take our own lives because the pressure to perform is too much to handle.
Breaking these habits can be difficult. But why is that?
We fear that something bad will happen if things don’t get done. To calm that fear we work harder, and longer, and harder, and longer only to realize that there’s more to do.
It never ends.
If you’re tired of the grind, let me suggest you step back and take an honest assessment of what needs to be done. Letting go of the compulsion to do all things can be an awesomely liberating high. Simply choose what’s most important, and do that. Even simpler, choose to do the things you are passionate about, and drop the rest.
If life in the slow lane appeals to you, here are some easy steps to escape the rat race and enjoy a slower, simpler, happier life:
- Choose 3 things to accomplish each day. I know, you could probably come up with a list of 100 things, but don’t. Keeping the list this size will force you to decide what’s really important. When you finish the list, the rest of the day is yours to relax. With this approach you’ll be completing 21 important tasks a week. If you have more than that, seriously reevaluate your commitments.
- Learn to say “no.” Stop taking on more responsibility. That’s what got you reading this article in the first place. Sure, volunteering is a noble way to spend your time, but stretching yourself too thin can rob you of joy. And the world needs joy more than anything.
- Be unproductive. Even if you can only manage 20 minutes a day at first. Don’t read anything to further your career or impress your friends. Do something useless like skipping rocks across a pond. Or making mud pies with your kids. Or climbing a tree. Dig back into your memory bank, because most of this stuff is stuff you probably did as a kid.
- Only check your email twice a day. That includes twitter, facebook, stocks, sports scores, blog stats – anything. Checking these sites can become an addictive habit which steals time you could spend doing stuff that actually makes you happy.
- Embrace quality over quantity. Instead of joining every organization, subscribing to every blog, or taking every opportunity you get – try doing fewer things, but choosing the ones that really add value to your life. Pick 3 or 4 blogs and follow them closely. Choose one organization making a difference, and support them. Embracing quality over quantity will make your life less stressful and your experiences more satisfying.
- Find a hobby. Try something new, you don’t have to be good at it. As long as it excites you and taps into your creativity. Try these: yoga, rock climbing, running, wood work, surfing, reading, blogging, gardening, chess, painting, making music.
- Spend time with people you love. This is it, the one piece of advice I’d give you if I could only give you one. Relationships form the backbone of a purposeful life. Sharing secrets, fears, and hopes with another human is the surest way to slow down and enjoy life. Without close contact with other people, we grow into cold, lonely beings. Make time every single day to spend with loved ones, and you won’t end up with a single death-bed regret.
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Editor’s Note: This is a guest post by Mike Donghia.
Further Reading
I have a sister-in-law who seems to feel that it is more moral to be a busy person. I, however, am a low energy thinker person. I enjoy learning new things, reading, playing piano, etc. I try to do a few things/chores each day and after I’m done, I relax.
I just don’t understand people who can’t retire from their jobs because they don’t know what they’d do with their time and my in-laws are very much like that. My husband and I are not like that.
After years of trying to keep up with the fast paced environments around me, I finally realized that there wasn’t anything wrong with me, I just wasn’t equipped for a life in the fast lane. Learning how to embrace life in the slow lane has already made me so much more content as a person, and this article hit how I feel about it spot on. Thank-you!
I feel the same way. I don’t think I’m wired the fast way. I don’t like to compete in a rat race, don’t like to compare myself with others, don’t know multitasking and the list just goes on. I used to feel guilty about not being competitive and being out there. Everyone thinks I’m laid back and slow. But this is how I am! I like to enjoy small things. I want to live in a slow-paced coastal town. I want to do a small job and earn money that’s sufficient to pay my bills, make a donation of a few bucks, and afford a small saving each month as emergency fund. It’s so sad that the whole time I believed that there was something wrong with me, like I dream small because I’m scared of failure, like I don’t like to compete because I have self-doubt. Maybe a tiny part of it is true, but I’ll tell you what the bigger truth is. The bigger truth is that I don’t feel for achieving more; I don’t strive for it, never have. And maybe that’s a blessing for me. Desiring less is a virtue. It feels like it.
I’ve realized this slowing down thing over the last 2 or 3 years now n have begun implementing ways to get off the grindstone. I’m 40, however, I look young for my age. I’m first nations Mohawk decent n my similar features as you, tan skin with dark brown hair. Anyway, if you haven’t noticed utility bills are sky high these days, especially in the north. I’m in the Montreal, Quebec area. I sat down n crunched some numbers n realized I was paying $5000-$6000 a year in hydro electric n heating oil each year! I was literally working 3-4 months a year just to pay that bill. I was blown away when I realizes the impact this was actually having on my life in regards to why I never have time for me, as well as the stress it creates by constantly having to service this debt each month, roughly $500! I do have kind of a large house, but only one main floor, and in no way is it a mansion, but $5000-$6000 utilities per year. Really? Why couldn’t I realize this a little sooner? I was in the rat race, too busy to notice. Work, work, work! When I stepped back after this realization tsunami wave ran over me I noticed most of society lives like this but don’t realize it. They’re too busy!!! The Powers that Be love this, because people living that way line their pocket$! Did I hit the brakes with both feet. Not me. Enough was enough. I’m not a lazy person. I’ve worked hard my whole life doing hard labour jobs so I’m a pretty strong guy. 6′-225lbs with a husky build. I made a small change n put a high efficiency wood stove in my house. Bye bye utility bills, hello $6000! This might seem insignificant to most people, but now instead of working 4 months at a my job n paying lining the pockets of the electric n oil companies, I pay myself. Now getting 20 cords of wood is a lot of work, but now I spend 3-4 months a year in the forest gathering my wood absolutely stress free with my dog Simba. A husky/Sheppard. I no longer have that annual debt to constantly weigh me down. It feels good when it’s -30 to -40 below zero during the winter n my house is toasty warm because of the work I gladly did in the spring. I enjoy the “ME” time in the forest with my dog that I took back for myself instead of being a slave to big industry. I apologize if my reply was too long but it’s nice to tell someone who undrstands where I’m coming from, as most around me sadly don’t. Most see people who burn firewood as poor who can’t afford modern heating. If they could only experience how rich my life really is compared to theirs. I took 4 months of my life back, for me.
I’m growing weary of comparing myself to the ones who are seemingly energized by 12 hour days and little free time.
I’m thinking of trying a year in Thailand for a lower cost of living, slowed down pace where I can write more books.
I don’t want to spend the next 25 years racing, I just want to ‘be’.
Absolutely love this! That’s so awesome man!
I became a minimalist after most of my life was spent like,a chicken without a head. No amount of work was ever enough, and I gave and volunteered and let people waste my most valued possession, my time on this Earth. Now I have slowed way the heck down and it feels so good. Not at first, but with practice! Before I do anything for anyone, I do something for myself. If a time-thief tries to occupy my day, I say I have plans and spend the day gardening. I also take lessons in life from my dog, who is a genius. It is my life and if I don’t come first, I won’t have the energy to enjoy it.
Fantastic;really hope it all works out for you.
I joined Architecture a few years back and ever since I’ve been on this unending path of pursuing knowledge and achievement. Truth is, I’m not sure whether I achieved anything – I just know I’m addicted to work.
Watching the sunlight for half an hour during my break is the one thing I actually love to do :)
Thanks for your article. I hope everyone liberates themselves from the shackles of their own minds and simply enjoy life….
I thought that I was the only one who felt this way or saw these things happening. This article understands me. But how do you live in a different direction from the world? Everything is fast pace so it will affect your life.
Ever since I married my husband he is in this phase. 4 kids and a decade of unemployment later, I want to run for the hills. I guess balance is the key.
I have ME/CFS. I have tried to carry on ‘as normal’ but can’t. Why do I feel as if I HAVE TO? I am trying to stop rushing around, I ‘look out’ for everyone else first – before myself. Help me please ?
Sometimes, we need to learn, the art of doing nothing, and relaxing!
American companies offer the least amount of vacation weeks compared to other countries.
thank you for the inspiring message…i read your daily topic…i just submit resignation to a job whos not making me happy plus the fact my managers are smoking in the office… money is not everything…also excercise and taking things one at a time…this minimalistic attitude plus prayer is my daily routine now…
This is most excellent. Re-reading it this morning. It is one of three blog posts yesterday that spoke to me greatly, in answer to a morning’s prayer request yesterday. I love how God answers quickly, when we need it so. Your blog has been very inspiring and it is refreshing to hear the important messages brought forth with clarity, hope and encouragement. When weeding out my subscribed blogs, as the author suggests to do, yours will be one of the keepers!
Great Post today I got a lesson from internet.
I find your site to be one of the only worth my time daily!
Great post, As I sit here in my bed on Sunday morning, and allow my children and grandchildren to sleep in! My wife has already ask me what I was going to do today, and make sure everything got accomplished with the family. The Holidays have been great, and I’m on purpose going slow into the new year!
LOVE this.
Very in line with my life’s passsion—teaching people to step off the the hamster wheel and into a life of meaning and joy.
Bravo!
Jill Farmer
Author of “There’s Not Enough Time… and Other Lies We Tell Ourselves.”
http://www.jillfarmer.com
I love my naps. I love to curl up with a book. I have a relationship with my husband to work on, 3 young kids to love and bring up, a house full of pets to care for, a house to clean, a job to keep, friends to see, a parent to care for, volunteer obligations to meet…but I love my naps! The work will ALWAYS be there. The love and opportunities to play, nap and read will NOT! So…take the nap!