I enjoy baseball and I like cheering for the hometown team. So my son and I decided to attend an evening of postseason baseball this week when the Arizona Diamondbacks hosted the Los Angeles Dodgers.
If you follow baseball, you know the Diamondbacks lost the game… and the series… and their season ended that night. In that regard, the night was a bummer. But in every other way, the evening was close to perfect.
The crowd was boisterous. The weather was amazing. The food was delicious. And the conversation was stellar.
We make choices every day with our financial resources. But this particular night of baseball was a helpful reminder to me that experiences are almost always a better investment than things.
Consider the reasons:
Experiences result in greater happiness. According to research, experiences result in longer-lasting happiness than material possessions. This is the case for several reasons (including some listed below). But in the article provided, the driving argument is that humans quickly adapt to their external surroundings. As a result, the happiness provided by new material possessions is short-lived. Over time, people’s satisfaction with the things they buy decreases, whereas their satisfaction with experiences over time increases.
Experiences provide better memories. One reason I enjoy baseball so much, is undoubtedly, because of the many memories I have watching it with my father. Growing up in South Dakota, an annual trip with the family to watch the Minnesota Twins play was a highlight of summer. Decades later, I look back on those moments with great joy and fondness. I remember them far better than almost any of the physical gifts I received as a child.
Experiences result in less clutter. Most physical possessions eventually become a burden on our lives. They take up physical space in our homes and mental space in our minds. They require care, attention, maintenance, organization. Experiences, on the other hand, are accompanied with little to no physical baggage. The only thing I brought home with me from the game were a few photos on my phone.
Experiences provide greater opportunity to connect with other people. This is the nature of experiencing things with others. Because we enjoy time together around a common purpose and activity for an extended period of time, we are afforded numerous opportunities to talk and connect with one another. My son enjoyed the game on the field, so did I. But I also enjoyed the opportunity to simply talk and connect about school and sports and friendships.
Experiences result in greater mindfulness. In 2010, Matthew Killingsworth and Daniel Gilbert published an important study in Science magazine. Their research concluded that “a wandering mind is an unhappy mind.” And the greater a person’s ability to “stay present” in a given moment, the greater happiness they experience during and after. Experiences provide greater opportunity in this regard. In fact, to discover more helpful techniques about how to stay present in the experiences of life, read How to Make Good Moments Last Longer by Allison Niebes-Davis, PhD.
Experiences result in less comparison with others. According to research done by Ryan T. Howell and Graham Hill, another significant reason experiences result in more happiness than material possessions is because experiences result in less comparison with others. Or, as they put it, “It’s easier to feature-compare material goods (how many carats is your ring? how fast is your laptop’s CPU?) than experiences. And since it’s easier to compare, people do so.” This doesn’t mean, of course, that comparisons don’t still occur at events (“I wish I had that guy’s seats!”). But overall, both during and after, we are less inclined to compare with others the experiences we enjoy than the material possessions we own.
When we first began pursuing minimalism nine years ago, I remember asking myself what might I begin to do with the newfound benefits of owning less. If we were no longer purchasing, pursuing, and caring for excess possessions in life, what might we do with the excess money, time, and energy?
Over the years, we’ve been able to do a lot. But enjoying memorable experiences together as a family is certainly near the top of the list of my favorite.
Compared to buying more things, I’ll take enjoying memorable experiences any day. Even if my team did lose on Monday night.
Thanks for the article and comments. Reading this has made my day, as I began thinking back on all the experiences I’ve had throughout my life. I agree that the things themselves can bring one short lived pleasure yet, that can change depending on what the experience you’ve had with that “thing.” For instance, I’ve owned a couple of Corvettes and although that in itself can result in some pride (puffiness,) it’s the experiences, we’ve had with them that bring a smile to your face. Like the time my wife and I were on a road trip out West tooling along with the car’s top down and driving through rain. If you kept the speed up and the rain was not too hard, the drops would just go over us. Makes me smile every time I think of it. Memories!
Don’t you think that one of the most important reasons to collect experiences over things, is that in the final outcome you will be able to say “I did that”? Your history will stay in the minds, but Ferrari will corrode over time.
I have been teaching that experiences are better than things for decades and of course various religious and philosophical texts have brought the message for centuries. For example:
Matthew 6:19-21 King James Version
19 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:
20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
You can be relieved of your things but no one can take your experience. “Heaven” in my world is peace of mind created by
the absence of “things”.
I have to add a P.S. to the previous comment I made about this subject. I believe people who talk about experiences are more interesting to talk to than people who talk about things. Recently I had a couple of hours of free time. I could have gone shopping and bought a new pair of shoes. I would come home and show them to my husband and he would say “Great shoes!” and that would have been the end of the conversation. Instead I decided to go to a Fall festival in a near-by neighborhood. While I was waiting in line at a food truck, I heard sirens and saw a police car flashing its lights headed our way. I thought for sure he was going to turn before he reached us, but NO! it turned into a high speed car chase that went right through the middle of the road where the food trucks were lined up on either side of the street! It was just like a car chase in the movies. I had to hide behind the food truck for protection. Luckily, the event had just started, so there weren’t very many people there yet, and no one was hurt. Anyway, this incident and many more observations during the Fall festival made for much more interesting topics of discussion than a new pair of shoes.
I really like how you concluded.
“Compared to buying more things, I’ll take enjoying memorable experiences any day. Even if my team did lose on Monday night.”
That – even if your team lost, you would still choose “experience over buying things / material possessions”, I really like that.
I guess that would be my choice too.
Also, earlier you mentioned that “what you remember most is the time spent with your dad watching the game, or in general, instead of remembering the gifts that he gave you”
I agree, material possessions is not what we remember about when we remember about a person or an experience..
Recently, a friend of mine told me that “In the end, people will not remember you for your material possessions / material success, instead they will remember you for how you made them feel”.
So, I kind of correlate with you in a way when you talk of the memories with your dad… as its more about the experience and experience is more about feelings, which then stays as a memory in our minds.
My husband is a born and raised life-long Chicago Cubs fan. Last year, when the Cubs made it to the World Series, we decided to have one of the greatest experiences of our lives and go to the final game in Cleveland. It cost us a pretty penny (we are not in debt), we could have used that money to buy a fancy tv or an expensive piece of jewelry which would have caused excitement for a few weeks then faded, but what we got instead was experience worth a lifetime that only gets sweeter with time. Those are the things money buys us since we don’t spend on material possessions.
I tend to agree conceptually with what you are saying, but I see an awful lot of “minimalists” who have not changed the volume of their consumption, they’ve simply redirected it. Typically owning less will free up financial resources that can be allocated in other areas. However, if we just move that money from buying stuff to buying experiences, are we truly being minimalistic as opposed to consumeristic? I’d have to answer, No.
Well Steve, it seems to me that you are combining a couple different concepts here. Minimalism, in the sense that this website is dedicated, is focused on owning fewer material possessions (certainly you could find others dedicated to minimalism in other spheres). Owning fewer material possessions allows people to pursue other passions. But different people are always going to define those passions differently – travel, savings, faith, retirement, giving. Each person gets to choose where they direct their newfound resources. For you, spending money on experiences may not align with your passion and as a result, it may not be the value you choose to promote by pursuing minimalism. But that doesn’t mean somebody else can’t. Minimalism and frugality are not synonymous.
I also love Baseball. I’d like to add that we don’t have to go to pro-league games to have great experiences. We have a small college-league team, the Yakima Pippins, here, and the experience is as fun, maybe more, than going to the Mariners’ games across the mountains.
this is another tough part of letting go. I’m a massive baseball fan and my home team is Seattle. Yup, spring training trips too on top of attending at least half the games. Twins & M’s just before MN new ballpark was build I the dome…so reminded me of our Kingdoms. Memories loved. From when I was small and my dad coached, I also played i was hooked. If not playing I’d work or volunteer at any game from little league to majors. You can imagine how my h baseball memorabilia I have…a ton, and good stuff too. I’ve sold, mostly given away lots, but still hanging on to some. How about a 54′ Micky Mantel card anyone? Yup, I’m selling..someone else will love. I’m keeping one of my faves of many, dear to my experience (& chasing down an autograp across the King Dome parking lot in 89′, like Joshua said it’s cool to keep what brings you joy. So true. Ken Griffy Jr. Stay strong all, im so bety much looking forward to less distractions to bringing more space to breath, enjoy and to be an example. Peace and blessings. Amen.
What a great article! I, too, have felt for a long time that experiences are more valuable than objects and materials when it comes to family memories. Our boys are young adults now but over the past 17 years, we have gone to probably 100 SF Giants games as a family including many, many post season games. (Not this year, unfortunately.) The boys will always have those great memories of watching and cheering on the Giants as a family!
Thanks for the reminder of what’s really important in life!
So funny to see this article today! Over the weekend, I spotted a gorgeous velvet scarf for $58 that I absolutely do not need but really wanted. I told myself I’d think about it (self control!) and go back Monday if I still wanted it.
After the Red Sox won Sunday night, my nephew said, to my surprise, that it was possible to get tickets to the next day’s game. I’d never been to a playoff game before, so I eagerly agreed to go.
So early Monday, forgetting all about my potential shopping trip, I headed up to Fenway. What a blast! Oh yes, we lost in the end, but we fought hard. The 4+ hour, rain-soaked game was a nail-biter; we stood up so much to cheer and encourage the Sox that actual seating was hardly necessary. And we saw an inside-the-park home run! Despite the loss and elimination of our post-season hopes, the experience was incredible, and we enjoyed the game, and each other’s company, completely.
Cost of my ticket? $58. Made the right choice.
I definitely am trying to enjoy experiences more in the moment rather than spending time on my phone videoing and capturing it through a lens.
This is so true! I noticed that the experiences I make on my travels mean so much more than things. ANd I realized that all the clutter I have at home I really do not need at all…
xx
Michaela
Much better than your son playing catch solo while you clean the garage. :)
I recently moved in with my son and family. I BIG dodgers fan so we have been watching playoffs. My 4yr old grandgirl knows that the “blue guys” are our guys! Yes! That was US you heard yelling ! ?Hoping that we are making memories together.
Great point about less comparison. I’ve never gone to a game, concert or movie and compared myself to those around me. We were all too busy enjoying the experience!
Absolutely. I hadn’t thought of some of these before, and I especially appreciated your reference to mindfulness and the “wandering mind is an unhappy mind.” That really struck me today. Thank you, Joshua!
Thinking back to when I was first building my nest and my kids were younger – we really did not have any money for experiences like concerts or travel. Sometimes small purchases led to joyful experiences & happy memories – a movie or audiobook we watched/listened to together over and over; art supplies that they created with and valued; a pajama ride to get ice cream when it was dark outside, books they loved and we read aloud together, a picnic at the lake, music lessons and an instrument to practice on (this one was harder and certainly required saving).
I am not opposed to some things – in fact, books, art supplies, and instruments have been a central part of our family and raising creative children. But these were very purposeful purchases and even if we couldn’t offer our kids grandiose experiences, these provided years of happiness:)
Yes! Books, sandbox, art supplies, music, Lego – not all of us can go off to the park, museum, wherever, but meaningful purchases can add so much to life! (And not all of us – or even our children – yearn for grandiose experiences.)
A lot of my best memories include being in nature, hiking, camping. I have few memories of receiving gifts that I still remember. Long after the experiences are gone, the memories are still with me. The memories are in little ‘snapshot’ moments: dirt under my feet, creek water up to my knees and tiny pebbles moving around my toes, the buzz of various flying insects. It was all totally fascinating. I was totally in love with it all. Still am.
Great points…I have vivid memories of my uncle taking me to the 1979 World Series in Pittsburgh when I was 10. I have few memories of any material gifts or things I received when I was 10.
There used to be a saying floating around in the 90s among “Yuppies” that “whoever dies with the most toys, wins.” I haven’t heard it recently, so maybe those people as they have aged have come to their senses about the empty promise that happiness derives from the accumulation of possessions (toys). Thank you for reminding us that true happiness and content don’t come from having more things, but from having more meaningful experiences with our friends and family members. On our deathbeds, we will remember and find comfort in all the wonderful experiences we have had in our lives, not how many “toys” are sitting in our houses and garages, or how much money is sitting in our bank accounts. Better to have a home full of wonderful experiences than a house full of expensive things. Give me experiences over things any day.
Recently I purchased a front row ticket to see “David Parsons Dance” at the Kaufman Center of the Performing Arts. As I was waiting for the performance to begin, I was thinking about many of the points Joshua Becker has expressed in this article. Also, when I was sitting there an older woman in her 80’s walked in front of me to get to her seat on the other end. She said to me “Do you think they will ask us to dance?” She was giddy with excitement at the possibility. It was worth my ticket just to hear her ask that question.
I agree that an event does not have to be special. I am decluttering and also finished paying off credit card debt recently. One would think that would free up money for experiences, but really economizing and making due while paying the debt now means that I have to play ‘catch-up’ for whatever I let slide during that time. I’m still am at the place that coffee, a meal, etc are about all I can still afford for experiences. And most of the time, that is enough; but I do yearn for that ‘more money, more freedom’ aspect that I keep hearing about! LOL
As I proof-read my whining comment above, I realized that I could be the ‘poster child’ for why people should stay out of needless debt!!! LOL
I’ve been following for a long time, and from the generation that had you think you had to save everything (even a piece of string, in case you needed it).
It’s been a journey for me for sure (and will continue to be), but experiences are SO SO great over possessions!
Looking forward to more adventures!
This site has been invaluable to me in so many ways!
Joshua, thank you for this essay. It captures the spirit of minimalism for me. As T noted above, experiences come in a wide variety of flavors. Being present and able to enjoy them is essential to the well lived life.
Once again Joshua you have laid out a cogent argument for minimalism. I like the way you coolly analyse the pros and cons and don’t browbeat people into accepting your perspective. For me ‘experience’ is a really broad thing – doesn’t just have to be an event or a special trip it can also include coffee and a chat or a local walk with friends. All these things can be very special and memorable too.
This is so true. I’ve found particularly with my kids that the ‘small’ or even mundane experiences are the ones they love. Like the time my car was in the shop so we caught the bus (my preschoolers first time on public transport – he was beside himself he was so excited). And on a Sunday afternoons we always bake together, he loves it more than if I were to take him to a toy store, etc.
Never really been into stuff that much.
Used to be considered a bit odd!
Glad to know others are just like me.
I think of toys when I was a kid. I’d want a certain one so badly,—all the commercials and the ads—some action figure or other. I just had to have it. And I’d get it finally too. Unpackaging it was wonderful maybe, bringing it home from the store. But not even 3 days later, the toy is already discarded among the others, the luster gone. Till I’m chasing the next new one waved in front of me.
This is such an important message, but so easily forgotten. I think this is why so many of us have debt and live beyond our means, but never use up our vacation time at work. It is difficult to see the long-term enjoyment of going to a baseball game with family over the short-term satisfaction of getting a new gadget, toy, or piece of clothing. Thanks for the reminder Joshua!
Hi,
well, if you have to pay for experiences they fit as well in consumerism culture. How about free ones?
Best regards,
Not much free anymore, yet some are like rec. centers in cities. State parks are only several dollars to get in with lots of things to do, trails, lakes , canoeing, picnics, etc. City parks have kids activities, play areas with equipment, trails, etc. Some cities have free botanical gardens, flea markets, tennis courts, softball activities, etc. Biking, taking walks, hiking, or going to a campsite for several days with family in a state park costs little.
Your last question is was my question when I started decluttering: if I finally get to the point where I’m certain that I have attained my Minimalism peak, then what? Then I realized that I’d have the rest of my life to explore & enjoy meanings experiences. Sounds worthwhile!