Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Allison Niebes-Davis, PhD of Dr. Allison Answers.
Two years ago, I sat on the beach in Hawaii with my husband. It was one of the first trips we’d taken together since getting married that didn’t involve traveling to see family, standing up in a wedding, or meeting a friend’s new baby. This vacation was the result of some serious saving, and I wanted to make the most of it.
As we sat on the beach together, I looked out at the water and the bright blue sky. The horizon seemed endless, and the moment felt perfect. I wished I could freeze time. I longed to bottle up the magic of that moment.
I knew this moment was special, and I was committed to soaking it up and making it last. So I did what my training as a psychologist taught me to do. I practiced mindfulness.
I looked out at the water and took in a deep breath. I smelled the salty air and felt the breeze on my skin. I paused, listening to the waves rolling in. I heard the birds overhead. I felt each ray of sunshine touching my shoulders and each grain of sand moving beneath my feet. I slowly exhaled, taking in the shape of the clouds and the color of the water. I softly whispered, “I am here, and this is magical.”
That intentionality and commitment to being in the moment allowed me to soak up every single ounce of goodness from that beach. It was almost as if I bottled up that moment, tucking it into my back pocket, available to access at any moment. That is the magic of mindfulness. It asks that we bring all our attention and all our awareness to the present moment. We engage our five senses in a heightened way, capturing details we might otherwise miss.
Mindfulness allows us to bottle up a moment, making its magic last long after the moment has ended.
That moment two years ago changed my life. It set me on a path towards minimalism in a way I never expected. That moment was so magical, and it didn’t involve an ounce of stuff. No thing or possession made that moment possible or better or richer. And in a moment of quiet honesty, I realized that my connection to stuff probably kept me from having those moments more often.
I left Hawaii vowing to have more of those moments. I prioritized moments over stuff and things. When I felt rushed or hurried, I opened that bottle from the beach and re-experienced that moment. When I felt uninspired, I revisited that day on the beach, so beautifully captured by mindfulness. When I felt tempted to shop or spend, I asked myself what I wanted more, that dress or handbag or another moment on the beach.
Making good moments last isn’t all that difficult, but it does involve some intentionality. Here are five simple steps to help you practice mindfulness in the most magical of moments, bottling them up for anytime access.
Start with a mindful breath. Take a slow deep breath in through your nose, gently pause for a few moments, and then slowly exhale through your mouth. This reduces tension and increases your focus, preparing your body and your brain to truly be present in the moment.
Set an intention. Use a simple phrase, such as “I am here” or “I want to remember this moment” as a way to bring your attention to the present moment. This verbal cue directs your attention to the here and now.
Use your five senses. One of the simplest hacks for practicing mindfulness in any moment is to use your senses. What do you see; what do you hear? Notice any subtle scents that are present. If taste is involved, challenge yourself to notice flavors and layers. Use your sense of touch to feel your feet planted on the ground or your hands in the grass. Feel the sun on your skin or the breeze on your face. Really challenge yourself to notice and take in as many things as possible. This is what helps you create a true impression of the moment.
Capture your emotions. Acknowledge how you feel in the moment. This helps you bottle up not just the tangible parts of the moment, but also your emotional experience. Do you feel grateful, at peace, or joyful? Do you feel relaxed, energized, or connected? Naming your emotions, with as much detail as possible, allows you to experience the moment at a deeper level, accessing that feeling long after it’s over.
Remind yourself that you can come back. As a good moment is ending or closing, remind yourself that you can come back to this moment at any time. Because you practiced mindfulness, this moment is imprinted on both your head and heart, and you can access it when you’re back at home, at work, or on the road. You can access the magic of the moment, even when the moment has ended.
It’s much easier to live with less when you’re intentional about being present in life’s magical moments. It’s easier to say no to stuff when you have amazing moments, bottled up in your back pocket, reminding you of what’s important. You have the power to make good moments last longer. Be intentional, practice mindfulness, and take the magic with you.
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Allison Niebes-Davis, PhD is a practicing psychologist in the Chicago area, working with adults, teenagers, and families. Her blog, Dr. Allison Answers, helps people better incorporate mindfulness, balance, intentionality, courage, and authenticity into their daily lives. You can find her on Facebook here.
OMG I adore this post! I am all about finding magic in the everyday, and those moments that are pure magic are so so special. I love all your tips for making them accessible even in tough times.
Hooray; I’m so glad you loved it! Thanks for reading (and commenting!)
Thank you! I am not sure I have ever put all those thoughts together, but the idea and description cemented the process in my mind!
Awesome, Abbie! I’m glad this piece was helpful!
I love this. Thank you for sharing this guest post. It helped me to recall some of the precious moments I have experienced as well, and the pure simplicity of them.
You are so welcome, Barb. I’m glad you enjoyed this piece!
Great article. I’m reading Eckert Tolle’s The Power of Now once again, a true classic. From the article though, I’m not clear on how remembering the past magical moment and “reliving” it, isn’t living in the past and missing the present moment. From my reading over the years it seems that just accepting what is at any given moment, without resistance or wanting to recapture it, is a key to living in the perfect moment. So it ends up that nothing external makes you happy because the well of happiness comes from within (where that King of Heaven is) – so any moment can be magical if you’re not trying to relive a past moment and stay focused in whatever that present moment is where there is no judgement or resistance to “what is”. But being mindful in the present is a wonderful thing to remind people to do.
Thank you!
Hey Jean, great thoughts and questions! I agree, living in the present is SO important. It helps us experience the small but meaningful moments in life. I don’t think what I talk about in this post is about “reliving” so much, rather; it’s about being able to look back with fondness and gratitude, using the moment as inspiration to continue to live a full and present life. Accessing these amazing moments helps us make more informed choices moving forward, remembering what truly matters. I hope that’s helpful! Thanks for reading and commenting!
These are great suggestions! I am working on an article for a local magazine on healthy eating for the holidays and will definitely link to this post. Holiday eating, especially at buffets, is one place where too many people are not mindful!
That is so true Ginger. But on the other hand all the foods we served during the holidays for years are part of our family traditions. They bring us back to where we came from, my grandparents old world cookie recipes amongst them. We tried to make all healthy foods the last few years but we all felt like something was missing. It might sound silly but it’s hard to balance it out sometimes. Food isn’t just food. In our family holiday food is our heritage.
Yes; mindful eating is so important! Eating provides a perfect opportunity for a micro practice in mindfulness. I’m honored that you’re planning to link this post! Thanks for reading and commenting!
Hi Dr. Allison,
Wonderful article! As a retired adventuresome 74 year old I can tell you my heart and mind are full of fantastic memories because I was practicing mindfulness before I knew it had a name!! ? All the best to you as you continue to inspire others!!
Thank you so much, Amelia! It’s awesome to hear that you’ve gathered an entire collection of memories through a lifelong practice of mindfulness, even not knowing the name! Keep going with that! So glad you enjoyed the article; thanks for commenting! :)
I would say step No. 1 should be: Put away your smartphone! And/or your camera. The picture you take with you eyes is the good one. Sketching is also a good way of looking at every detail and you also get a pictorial memory for ever.
Agreed, Gina. Being ALL there is key!
Fifteen years ago when my son-in-law proposed to my daughter, on the beach, he turned my daughter to the ocean and said, “Your mom told me to make sure we stopped and soaked up the feelings and sounds, so the memory of this moment won’t slip away. I guess it’s time to soak.” They smile about it to me quite often–which I think means it worked!
I love this, Tina! You helped them bottle that memory up for the rest of their lives. Well done!
Very good.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Reading this, and being reminded of practicing mindfulness in Hawaii (I have a favorite beach spot there on the Big Island) is a wonderful start to the week. Thank you both for this gift.
Hooray, Andrea! I’m so glad this brought back such wonderful memories. Thanks for commenting!
Good Morning, Josh! I actually know members of Dr. Allison’s family well, her parents, her aunt and uncles and I knew her grandparents, so it’s always interesting to read her work. I used to call these moments “taking a snapshot” of them. I call them “snapshots in my mind.” I can always go back to the photograph album. I think I wrote about it, but I don’t know. I’ll look sometime. She’s right about it though, we must remember with purpose. At the end of life, it will be about out mental photograph album.
Well hello, Denise! What a small world! :) I LOVE this idea of taking a snapshot; that’s exactly what mindfulness allows us to do. Kudos to you! I would love to see your mental photograph album!
Great thoughts Allison. The verbal intentions are a great idea to bring us back into the moment. I also find taking time to do things properly helps me to be mindful. I try to focus on one thing at a time and appreciate what I am doing, seeing, or experiencing.
Yes; I love this! Doing things properly is almost like built in accountability to slow down and focus. Thanks for commenting!
Hi Allison
I just started making small puffed hearts, and being mindful of the how small they were and how to do the best job I possibly could do made me do this project properly.
I sure do show because I am in awe of how sweet they are.
I always want to savor those beautiful moments with my guy.
Thanks for your advice
Have a wonderful day
Rose
As designer’s we are always “on” observing details and gathering inspiration. One way I reconnect is to do exactly as you did. Time with my husband to really “see and listen” to each other. Few plans let days unfold. Taking the camera to photo all the small beauty along the way let’s me recharge a second time simply flipping thru shots that don’t have to be cropped, filed or documented. Ah ha moments from such little things like sunlight falling the last flowers of fall. Thanks for the article…we should all make dates to do “nothing” that turns into “everything”.
Love this! Your last sentence reminds me of the quote, “In the end, we realize the small things were the big things.” Thanks for reading and commenting!
Great tips. I use mindfulness to stay focused and in the present all day.
You can’t always plan great moments. I try to recognize them as they are happening and enjoy them to the fullest.
Absolutely, Tony! Wonderful, great moments happen around us every day, and it’s up to us to recognize them and enjoy them to their fullest. Kudos to you; thanks for commenting!
What about the victims of imperialism? What is your advice to them? You know, the ones underneath our bombs? The Puerto Ricans who have no clean water? The Syrian people who are innocent but still had their country bombed to smithereens? Should they practice “mindfulness?”
Do you get how neoliberal and bourgeois you sound?
Thanks for the comment. But I should mention, if you are looking for conversations focused on finding solutions to the Syrian refugee crisis, there are any number of websites having that conversation far better than this one. This website is dedicated to other pursuits.
Allison- One word I think of when talking about mindfulness is “savor.” To savor the moment means focusing on details and all our senses. When I savor the moment, time slows down. Best of all, it costs nothing. Thanks for a thoughtful post!
John, yes, yes, yes! I love the term “savor” and use it often. When I’m first talking about this with clients, I ask them to tell me about a food they once ate that they absolutely loved. As they share, there is a ton of detail captured, and I point out how they can almost reexperience that craveworthy food. All because it was so good that they savored every bite. How cool to realize that we can do this in our daily life. Thanks for the thoughtful comment!
This practice has made life richer! I no longer travel with a checklist rather I practice being mindful of where I am and soaking in my surroundings.
YES! So awesome to hear!
Allison and Joshua, this is the best thing I’ve read all week! I’m speechless. Retweeting.
I agree on this. A very powerful article. Striving for good moments to remember makes life rich and that’s the path to it.
Many thanks for this guide!
You are so welcome, Thomas. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
I’m so glad you enjoyed it; thanks for sharing it with others!