“Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of everything that distracts us from it.” —Joshua Becker
Some people I speak with get nervous when they hear the term minimalist. For them, it conjures up images of destitution, barren walls, and empty cupboards. Rightly so, they decide that is no way to enjoy life. Believe me, I agree—that is no way to enjoy life.
Maybe that is why I use the term rational minimalist and find it resonates so well. If you walked into my home today, you would not immediately deduce that a minimalist lives here.
When you look in our living room, you would see a television, couches, a family photo, and a rug. In our coat closet you would find jackets, baseball caps, and a few winter weather accessories. In our kids’ rooms, you would find books, crafts, and toys in their closet. Since deciding to become minimalist years ago, we have been on a journey to define what that means for us and how it fits into our life.
We live in suburbia. We have two young children. We are active in our community. We love to entertain, show hospitality, and host small groups from our church in our living room. I am a writer and my wife teaches. While not exceptional, our life is not identical to anybody else. It is our life—nobody else’s.
And if we were going to become minimalist, it would have to be a style of minimalism specific to us. It would require us to ask questions, give-and-take, identify what we most value, and be humble enough to change course when necessary.
Your particular practice of minimalism is going to look different from everyone else. It must! After all, you live a different life than everyone else.
You may have a large family, small family, or no family. You may live on a farm, in a house, or in a studio apartment. You may collect antiques, stamps, or bottle caps. You may love music, movies, sports, or books. You may cherish old photographs, family heirlooms, or romantic letters from a lover.
Find a style of minimalism that works for you. One that is not cumbersome, but freeing based on your values, desires, passions, and rational thinking.
Be aware that your definition will not come overnight. It will take time. It will evolve—even change drastically as your life changes. It will require give and take. You will make a few mistakes along the way. And thus, it will also require humility.
But ultimately, you will begin to remove the unneeded things from your life. And when you do, you will find space to intentionally promote the things you most value and remove anything that distracts you from it.
Hi Josh! Thank you for this article and especially this post. I am a stay-at-home mom and a part-time student in my final semester. My family and I have been gravitating towards minimalism over the last couple of years, but we are still overwhelmed with stuff.
This semester, I am taking a blogging class, and I have decided to write about minimalism. I am completely new to the community, and I am very excited to learn and share!
I quoted this particular post in my first post because it brought me such a peace of mind about finding what is best for my own family. My favorite part is that becoming minimalist should be freeing and not cumbersome. This has really helped me relax in this journey a little more!
Thanks!
@ClutterMama
I absolutely LOVE the idea of being a minimalist. Through the years we have been purging (mostly and effort led by me) and it feels GREAT! My husband is pretty much a take it or leave it type of person, so although he is not quick to get rid of stuff, he is not quick to buy a lot either. However, he will keep receipts, boxes things come in, etc. For me, I tend to get things I “think” I want, then end up getting rid of them. I made a decision within the last year to only buy things that I either REALLY want and will use, or absolutely need. So far, so good. We have lived in 2500-2200 sq ft, then down to 1400 sq ft, and now up to 1787 sq ft. I am ready to downsize again, as our townhome is three levels and most of the room and space does not get used. We are constantly evolving as a family, with only one child left in the home. I always end up a LOT happier when I have fewer possessions, so this REALLY resonates with me. I’ve pared down my wardrobe, my decor, excess cookware, etc. I decided to focus on the life I LIVE rather than the dream life that I have entertained subconsciously. I cook simple meals, so I do not need a lot of gadgets. Thanks for this blog!
2500 sq ft? That is HUGE!! In the Netherlands that is considered as being a millionaires palace. Most houses over here are just 80 to 120 sq meters (860 to 1300 sq ft), but many people live in appartments. In Amsterdam a typical appartment has a footprint (living space) of just 60 sq m (646 sq ft). Not to mention that some neighborhoods were built around 1895, and that you can have a conversation with next door – without leaving your own house. I lived for 12 years in a appartment that was just 28 sq m (300 sq ft), but then I was a bachelor…. Reading this, one could wonder if the Dutch are native born minimalists; but it is just the opposite. Most Dutch people are just like Americans, the same amount of stuff only less sq ft to store it… I try to downsize my own stuff and this blog helped me a lot. But I guess I am addicted to books :-)
I often feel guilty as a single person who lives alone, because I feel like I need my own set of everything – kitchen basics, furniture, etc. But for me living alone is extremely important. The downside is I tend to avoid hosting people because I have no serving wares, no large table, only like 3 plates/utensils, 2 chairs, etc.
I am thankful for these honest posts. My heart’s desire is more space, less things, and more time to focus on what really matters to us. Relationships. And my struggle with the idea of what minimalism looks like to us has been the idea of downsizing. We enjoy hosting friends and gatherings in our home and want to have a welcome and inviting space while at the same time not having things just for the sake of filling space. I’m glad to know you have been so successful in your pursuit of this while at the same time staying connected in your community.
Let the kids play with their lego.
We are SO onboard with becoming minimalist. We have 13 children – 11 at home, 9 of them teenagers, 7 in high school (and a 5 year old!). My biggest struggle has been what does minimalism look like to a family so large. For the past couple months, we’ve been purging, donating, selling, trashing. With work schedules, kids, LIFE it’s taking SO much longer to complete the process than I had ever imagined. My solution to clutter and “stuff” was to purchase more rubbermaid bins….. Some things need to be replaced, yes we still need couches large enough for all of us, no we only have 4 bedrooms (and that’s one area I’d have more). We’ve been systematically attacking rooms of the house and the garage. I don’t know where everything came from, but the intention is to stop the insidious take over. A couple weeks ago, I hit the point where I wish a dumpster could be delivered and I could just tip the house upside down and start over. But, breathe and know that it is getting done. The rooms that are completed feel so good – getting rid of 80% of the shoes and clothing I owned was liberating. Beginning to see what’s important – clearly not our “stuff” – is getting the kids more involved. It’s been a wonderful, emotional, crazy, frustrating, slow process. I know there will always be upkeep, however I’ll be so relieved when the mass exodus has ended and we can live in our space with more ease. I appreciate any tips on how things can be altered for such a large family. Advice and reading other’s journeys is part of what helps continue to motivate me. Thank you!
Thanks for your post Jennifer. We are a family with 11 kids, 8 of whom are still at home. Your description of the difficulty of purging fits our situation perfectly. We began the process in the pantry of our kitchen, and once the entire kitchen was purged, the space (both physically, emotionally, and mentally) was relaxing and invigorating. We’ve got a long way to go, and seeing our boys’ legos strewn all over the floor is depressing at times. Any tips you some across to declutter as a large family would be most welcome. Good luck to you and your family.
I find your thoughts on rational minimalism very realistic and encouraging. have been on journey for 7 years and although I sometimes feel like a failure i know we constantly combat worldly views and movements. when people walk into our house they say it feels calm so i need to focus on the victories instead of the battles still ahead. Thank you.
I love the way you have made minimalism seem both accessible and entirely achievable! It’s always a mistake when people make it out to be a really extreme way of living because people lose interest — unlike this post which has left me feeling the most inspired I’ve been for weeks! Thank you!
http://www.lifeinthesunlight.com/
I divorced at 40 and raised my three daughters by myself ….after the divorce and after I lost everything I realized we didn’t need much to survive… A roof over our head a modest vehicle and food to eat and I furnished our home for $100 and we lived happily. Then I met my new husband who isn’t on the same path as I and I am overwhelmed , my question is how do I change him to be more like me he is getting worse everyday and I am not happy , he does not see that he has a problem any suggestions because I really love him and I do not want to leave but it is affecting my health
Well – same as with any other problems in a marriage… talk to him about it. Pick a quiet time, explain completely and clearly what it does to you to live like you do now (I guess you mean that he’s got too much stuff, you don’t say in your post). Just try to give him a clear picture of your state of mind about it.
My husband is also not in the decluttering boat, and he puts up one or two stop signs every now and then – but when he sees that something is really bothering/affecting me (and even endangering my health), he’d do everything in his power to accomodate me as much as possible.
This is such a relief for me to read this post as I felt like every spare minute I had I was on a rampage to clear out a drawer or cupboard like I was on a time clock. And yes…I was encourage to read how ‘everyone of our lives will look different’ making our surrounding more minimalist!! I am a detailed person and find this very hard as I Love to change seasonal items but have now learned to pair it down to what I really Love and not store additional items… this is an improvement. I actual drawers and closets are looking better and I spend a lot less time looking for things!! I felt very calm reading this post as it gave me permission to ‘do it my way’ and what works for me in my Home and not someone elses… Thanks Joshua for clarifying that… I think I have been searching for that peace for awhile!! :)
To me minimalism is a life style change. Changes take time and this type of life style change is no different. For change to become habit it is something I need to adapt to over time both in thought and carry through. Once I am mentally prepared it is easier to take baby steps to achieving a level of satisfaction I feel comfortable with maintaining.
This is a great article. My husband and I (both retired) have been on this journey for more than 10 years. I don’t think anyone would walk into our home (under 1000 sq. ft.) and think that it looks bare or Spartan. It is attractive and comfortable. We have what we need. That includes photos of our grandchildren, a few mementos of travel, a reasonable number of books, everything we need to prepare and eat meals, hobby materials, clothing, wall decor, etc. We do not have thousands of books – internet and a great library system. We don’t have lots of kitchen gadgets. We do not have an excess of clothing. Our possessions don’t weigh us down. It feels good to us, and I think that is what matters. Living this way has enabled us to travel extensively during our retirement.
I have come across your blog (and this entry in particular) after many months of attempting to justify why I was slowly culling all the material posessions that were building up in my home and surrounding me in my life in general. In a time of my life where everyone around me seems to be filling their lives with material ‘stuff’, I am travelling down a different path and it feels so refreshing. I am glad I’m not alone in my adventure. Thank you.
I grew up poor, so when I began working, I started collecting and buying things I wanted for when I owned my own home. Well over the past 36 years, I never moved out of our family home. I think I’ve become a hoarder because I’ve never thrown away or got rid of anything that I bought. To part with my possessions makes me “feel” that I will be poor again. I want to live with less because it would free me up to live the life I desire. But I don’t know how to part with my things, and think that I might need professional help. Allot of the buying was done when I had bouts of depression. I’d like some advise as to where to begin. I stumbled upon this site by mistake, and when I was reading, it really hit home. I want to live with less and be free to live my life and feel the weight lifted off my shoulders. HELP!!!
Peony, don’t look at it as a whole, start small. You may need professional help but start by yourself first. I grew up with not much and I know what things around you feels like. I’m rich now because I can buy things! But, things don’t make you rich, people and experiences do.
Grab a garbage bag. Start by getting rid of anything like paper that is ripped, torn, is no longer usable. Don’t be hard on yourself if this takes you awhile, you’ll have to come to terms with letting go. It’s just stuff, the memories you have will still be there.
You may want to enlist the help of a good friend or relative to help you stay grounded while you sort through years of collections. Give it a go – the first steps are the hardest!
I think the key for me was realizing that most of us have our drawers, cabinets, and closets filled with stuff we don’t need/use. That leaves no room for the things we need/use daily so those things wind up on countertops/tables/chairs/floors. We’ve all experienced this. The very space we’re trying to live in becomes too cluttered to live in.
Thanks for helping me see this more clearly.
I love the ideas associated with all of this and try to adapt it into my life. I’m going through my clothes, but my fabric collection although I’ve already sized it down still needs more work. My biggest program is that I design, alter and deal with clothing and fabric. How can I minimize what I have, how do I differentiate between what is vital/valuable and what is able to be donated?
Just my 2 cents, but that sounds to me like something you don’t need to minimise because you need and use it.
Hi Tru,
I have a similar dilemma because I’m a fashion designer. But then I realised I can really limit the amount of new materials I buy to only those I’m definitely going to USE.
I was buying fabrics, haberdashery, keeping old pieces of lace etc & so much was just sitting there. I’ve decided to minimalize my materials purchases for my business & I think it will make such a difference in my profit & loss statement! No more excess materials sitting in large plastic tubs, or if I do buy some standard fabrics in bulk (eg. ivory silk satin etc) I know it will be used soon.
Also I’m intending to try & not buy anything without first trying to use what I have already. Like buying new zips, elastic, buttons & thread. I have re-organised my things & it makes it clearer to me what is already there so I can try to use that before I buy anything else.
Hope these thoughts help :).
I started minimizing my “stuff” to help me save money. What I am realizing is I’m much happier and content with less “stuff”. I believe it actually cleared “stuff” in my mind as well. My rational minimalism may be very irrational for you!! And that is very okay! Thanks for this site. I’m so content my gray hair is turning brown again… :-)
I think the essential thing is that you keep whatever adds true value to your life and get rid of what doesn’t. This differs for everyone. I love playing drums, and would not rid of them ever, no matter how much space they take. Minimalism isn’t about the literal ‘less’, it’s about the internal ‘more’.
I actually wanna to know why Chomsky call minimalistics programm? not theory .
Destitute, barren and empty may not be enjoyable for most, but it also plays a part in many lives.
I greatly appreciate your non-judgemental attitude on minimalism. Minimalists that believe it should be a rigid way of doing things or rather NOT doing things don’t make their lifestyle very welcoming. I’m glad there’s a sliding scale. The process is one step at a time anyway, and I’m sure our ideas of minimalism will change as we go.
Just recently, I’ve decided to simplify, declutter, ‘move to minimal’ if you will. But then I was immediately conflicted about the thought that I’d have to just toss everything. It’s such a great idea to approach it “rationally” and to see that it works well to shape the idea to my life and not the other way around. Thanks for a great post!
I’ve been poking around on the web and have found extreme minimalism abhorrent. (Extreme as in not owning a stick of furniture or not being able to prepare fried egg on ramen.)
Actually, I had to spend a week in a rental house furnished down to the cookware, and by mid-week I had to visit one of the more jumbled thrift stores just to keep myself from going crazy. (And fumed that I found some great items but left empty-handed simply because I knew I wouldn’t want to deal with those new things right away.)
But I do admire “staged” spaces, especially in sitcoms. Everything in that space was chosen intentionally and is where it needs to be. If I could do a five-minute tidy (without any dump-and-run) and have everything but the storage room be ready for a magazine shoot, that is about as simple as I would be willing to live with.
Mid-line minimalists are cool, but it’s not my thing. I imagine people who live more “out in the world” than I do, don’t do any cooking that requires specialized gadgets or more than three pans, mostly have hobbies that don’t involve equipment, or only have one hobby with minor equipment needs.
I also intend to prove to my husband that you can indeed have more places to put things than you have things to put.
I do have inactive things, but it is much easier to hold onto something and eventually need it (or finally give up and toss it) than to need it and not have it.
However, I have determined that with a little time and effort, everything that is truly important to me will fit onto a hard drive. (There are things that I would spend years mourning if I had to leave them behind, but most of my physical stuff is things where I could and would buy a new one of. I honestly do use both of my crockpots at the same time often enough that I would be beyond annoyed to live with having only one.)
It depends upon your comfort level.
Joshua, I want to thank you for your blog. I really embrace your ideas and your thoughts have contributed to a lot of changes in my life during 2011. If you set out to make a difference…please know that you have! Happy New Year!
Its great to see that someone who is on the “A-List” doing there own thing and not just copying everyone else. This post was encouraging. Thanks,
Bernie
Total deprivation is unhealthy…
Rational minimalism. I like it!
I was thinking something similar recently: though I’m not done minimizing my stuff, even when I am done I know that visitors will look around and not realize they’re in a minimalist’s home.
I was sad for a second until I realized the magic is in what they won’t see (and what doesn’t exist): there’s nothing hiding from them in storage units, or in the garage (except my bicycle) or in my basement. What they see will be what there is. And like others who posted, I want a warm and inviting home.
In fact, by the time I finish getting rid of “theoretically useful but not useful enough to keep” things, a GREATER percentage of my belongings will probably be artwork than when I started.
i wrote this post for several reasons:
1. i wanted to encourage others to pursue minimalism. i have found the lifestyle very fulfilling and enjoy sharing it with others.
2. i wanted to offer freedom to people to pursue a lifestyle of simplicity that fits their unique lifestyle and stage.
3. i wanted to give people the opportunity to interact with some of the material in the book (one of the advantages of a blog over a book).
4. i wanted to raise awareness of the book release on monday.
those were the reasons for the post. hopefully, we can get back to one of those (especially creating awareness of the the book’s release on monday…)
Fulfilling, enjoying and freeing are excellent motivations…
Hey guys-I think your comments were posted-there is a lag due to work commitments. Not 100% certain, but you might want to check.
Hey Theresa, Allison, and Sarah – do you mind my asking which blog you are referring to? I read a lot of minimalism blogs and will be happy to boycott one that treats the readers with disrespect!
On another note, I am very happy at how becomingminimalist looks at minimalism. I like that we aren’t told to get rid of everything because I think that outlook is extremely depressing. Thank you becomingminimalist for treating us all as individuals and not lumping everyone into the “extreme minimalist” category!
I totally agree with you, Theresa & Allison. I left a (very polite) comment on her blog also and she didn’t make it available. If you can’t handle opposing viewpoints in the least, why blog? She has been removed from my reading list. She is defensive, rude, and isn’t living the lifestyle I aim for anyway.
I am all about rational minimalism! And I do think it deserves to be called minimalism even if you can’t fit your life in a backpack. But whatever you want to call it, it’s all about mindfulness and having only what you use. This blog does a great job focusing on doing with less but not going without. Thank you.
Being aware of different extremes is educational.
@nicole and Theresa,
Thanks for the heads up. I was wondering if I should remove her off my list of blogs and I think I will – I was waiting for her to release the comments but since she’s posted in the meantime I think that means she won’t. I found her that post mocking Theresa completely unprofessional, immature and in bad taste.
Sorry again Becomingminimalist for taking over your comment section – there’s just no way to email them privately. thanks.
@ Theresa and Allison
same with me, my comments had not been accepted.
As for me, I am quite sure my minimalism way of living will change over the next years. I began to get rid off quite a lot of items and later i will buy new items I really enjoy.
I keep items whenever I enjoy them even if some people may call them clutter. I could get rid off them if I intended to go abroad or …
Rather than use more resources for new things, you may also choose to only buy second-hand items.
@Theresa, I saw your comment (and the ensuing and unnecessarily mean post) that the author left. I also left my own comment about her behavior but she has not made the comment available. I really appreciate becomingminimalist writing about rational minimalism instead of opting to chide those who like a bit more aesthetic comfort in their homes! (I would send this as a personal email, but yours isn’t listed.)
Love this post (and the blog-looking forward to the book). Agree w/you Theresa. I love, love the William Morris quote-refer to it often. I think ‘Minimalist Living’ could be viewed along a continuum. Some are more minimalist than others. So rather than splitting hairs, maybe we can agree that we’re all on a journey towards simpler, more mindful living, and some of us are choosing different stops/destinations along the way. It’s ultimately about wise stewardship.
It’s not for everyone…
Maybe you aren’t so much a minimalist, but an anti-consumerist to a degree? Or frugal? Sorry, but there comes a point when you cannot call yourself a minimalist. Living more minimally than you normally do does not make you a minimalist.
I am a minimalist. You could fit all of my personal belongings – including clothes – into two average sized moving boxes (possibly less). My spouse is not a minimalist. If you walked into our house, you would think it was neat and orderly, but not necessarily minimalist. So I honestly cannot say we have a minimalist household.
So true.
Minimalism is defined as removing the non-essential and retaining the simplest and the fewest.
What is non-essential?
What is simpler?
What is the fewest?
Everyone will have their own interpretation…
Everything changes…
Minimalizing certain areas in life is still a worthy endeavor.
Thank you so much for this post. I needed this. Recently I saw photos of a minimalist’s apartment which totally disheartened me. It was completely devoid of life and beauty. My only thought was, “If this is what being minimalist is all about, I don’t want any part of it.” I want my home to feel warm and inviting for my own sake and also because I enjoy having people over. I am letting go of things every day, but my home is not stark and empty. I guess I could be classified as a rational minimalist also.
It’s as if you’ve given me “permission” to hold onto a few beautiful things. William Morris’ quote is on a sticky note on my computer, so I am reminded of this principle every day and I strive to put it into practice.
I so enjoy your blog! Thank you again.
Everyone develops their own style…
Thank you for your excellent points. Often when I read minimalists’ writings, it seems like it is a contest: “I am down to 120 possessions” “I have 70… 34” etc. That seems unpleasant – although I guess if that makes you happy! I love the William Morris quote, and that is what I try to live by. Flylady also has some very practical ideas about this — “if it doesn’t make you smile, get rid of it” and “you can’t organize clutter.” I am a teacher, so it is in the summers that I make the most progress towards reducing unwanted possessions – but it seems every year it creeps back in.
Joshua – is it a constant battle, or do you reach a point that it is more on “automatic pilot”?
A bit of consistent reevaluation is always necessary—especially with growing kids. But for the most part, we have found a new normal that works well for us.
Our apartment is the same way as your house – when you walk in, you wouldn’t know that we are so hardcore about simplicity/minimalism. It’s warm and inviting, but we still try to live up to the often-quoted William Morris: “Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”
Good post!
I need to stamp this on my forehead… at least until it sinks in. :)
William Morris: “Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”
I wonder if this type of style should be called “manageable livable (minimal? haha)” instead of minimalist. I think this type of balance is what we all strive to have – living with our private essentials that aren’t just the “essentials.” Those who own a bit more than needed might be “clutterers,” but like you said – who are we to judge?!
I have been struggling to identify not just what type of minimalist I want to become but also which one I already am. I think, “I can manage just fine with the bare essentials,” but then it comes to the point of how happy I truly am with just that. Aesthetics and mementos are definitely something to take into consideration.
btw, I really enjoy your blog (I read all of it this past weekend), and I find what you have done really inspirational! Thanks for all your hard work – it definitely got me moving and shaking. :)
It would be difficult to give up my heirlooms.
Everyone may feel differently, but I really don’t have a sense of emotion attached to physical items. I have found that taking a picture of a physical item and then donating the physical item, really helps.
That is a great idea! I will need to pass that on to my mother.
I’ve read this in many places, about taking a picture of the item and then giving it away. But for some things, this simply won’t work, at least for me. :) I have some things that used to belong to my grandparents and I can’t just give them up. It’s really not a LOT, and some are antiques. I love them and they have a lot of meaning to me. :)
I am slowly getting rid of a lot of things though. The hard part is getting my husband on board with it!
If you love those heirlooms, look at them every day and enjoy them there is no need to get rid of them, they are not clutter. I am sure Joshua would agree with me :)
I agree, don’t throw out what you love and value. Stop bringing into the home the stuff you don’t love.
Its about the quality of your life, not the quantity, or the quality in your life rather than the quantity in your life.
Heirlooms aren’t just about you, they are for future generations of your family as well, they are treasured down generations. I have gifts that belonged to my grandmother and my great grandmother – gifts that have been passed and treasured through my family and that i will send on to future generations of my family. They aren’t clutter. Clutter is the stuff i can cull. Its the excess stuff I don’t need and I don’t love or use.
For each of us quality and quantity will differ, its finding what works for you, keep those heirlooms if you value them, you’ll regret getting of them and your family won’t understand. if you really feed the need to get them out of your home, give them to another family member.
my grandmother gave away all of her possessions before she died, she died without clutter, her heirlooms, which she treasured, she divvied up between the family by talking to us and asking us what we would like before she died, what i have from her, she gave to me, and I will pass those things along the family when I’m ready, and not because I magicked up a number that my possessions must meet.
I have some heirlooms that I was pressured into receiving and now they sit in boxes because I feel too guilty to get rid of them. Some of the heirlooms include monogrammed silver and rare leather bound art books. I never use them or look at them. I did manage to donate to a cancer charity some etched crystal tumblers that I received from my great aunt. I have zero use for etched crystal glasses and I felt such a sense of relief once they were out of my storage shed.
I know I am supposed to feel grateful for these items, but I feel burdened by them. Next time somebody tries to give me something I will have to politely decline. I am getting much better at saying “no” and not caving into to pressure.
I have actually found that “heirlooms” can cause quit a bit of bickering and strife in families when it comes time to pass them down. For this reason I don’t plan on accumulating any heirlooms to pass down. I have been to too many “estate sales” and from that realized that family members of the deceased are often burdened by the stuff people leave behind.
I probably sound like an awful person, but I am just being honest. I would venture to say that most people, if they are really being honest with themselves, don’t want to use/display their grandmother’s Castleton Rose china. Likewise, my descendants will likely have different tastes than me and will not appreciate my plain white porcelain.
Just sayin’