“Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of everything that distracts us from it.” —Joshua Becker
Some people I speak with get nervous when they hear the term minimalist. For them, it conjures up images of destitution, barren walls, and empty cupboards. Rightly so, they decide that is no way to enjoy life. Believe me, I agree—that is no way to enjoy life.
Maybe that is why I use the term rational minimalist and find it resonates so well. If you walked into my home today, you would not immediately deduce that a minimalist lives here.
When you look in our living room, you would see a television, couches, a family photo, and a rug. In our coat closet you would find jackets, baseball caps, and a few winter weather accessories. In our kids’ rooms, you would find books, crafts, and toys in their closet. Since deciding to become minimalist years ago, we have been on a journey to define what that means for us and how it fits into our life.
We live in suburbia. We have two young children. We are active in our community. We love to entertain, show hospitality, and host small groups from our church in our living room. I am a writer and my wife teaches. While not exceptional, our life is not identical to anybody else. It is our life—nobody else’s.
And if we were going to become minimalist, it would have to be a style of minimalism specific to us. It would require us to ask questions, give-and-take, identify what we most value, and be humble enough to change course when necessary.
Your particular practice of minimalism is going to look different from everyone else. It must! After all, you live a different life than everyone else.
You may have a large family, small family, or no family. You may live on a farm, in a house, or in a studio apartment. You may collect antiques, stamps, or bottle caps. You may love music, movies, sports, or books. You may cherish old photographs, family heirlooms, or romantic letters from a lover.
Find a style of minimalism that works for you. One that is not cumbersome, but freeing based on your values, desires, passions, and rational thinking.
Be aware that your definition will not come overnight. It will take time. It will evolve—even change drastically as your life changes. It will require give and take. You will make a few mistakes along the way. And thus, it will also require humility.
But ultimately, you will begin to remove the unneeded things from your life. And when you do, you will find space to intentionally promote the things you most value and remove anything that distracts you from it.
I love the way you have made minimalism seem both accessible and entirely achievable! It’s always a mistake when people make it out to be a really extreme way of living because people lose interest — unlike this post which has left me feeling the most inspired I’ve been for weeks! Thank you!
http://www.lifeinthesunlight.com/
I find your thoughts on rational minimalism very realistic and encouraging. have been on journey for 7 years and although I sometimes feel like a failure i know we constantly combat worldly views and movements. when people walk into our house they say it feels calm so i need to focus on the victories instead of the battles still ahead. Thank you.
We are SO onboard with becoming minimalist. We have 13 children – 11 at home, 9 of them teenagers, 7 in high school (and a 5 year old!). My biggest struggle has been what does minimalism look like to a family so large. For the past couple months, we’ve been purging, donating, selling, trashing. With work schedules, kids, LIFE it’s taking SO much longer to complete the process than I had ever imagined. My solution to clutter and “stuff” was to purchase more rubbermaid bins….. Some things need to be replaced, yes we still need couches large enough for all of us, no we only have 4 bedrooms (and that’s one area I’d have more). We’ve been systematically attacking rooms of the house and the garage. I don’t know where everything came from, but the intention is to stop the insidious take over. A couple weeks ago, I hit the point where I wish a dumpster could be delivered and I could just tip the house upside down and start over. But, breathe and know that it is getting done. The rooms that are completed feel so good – getting rid of 80% of the shoes and clothing I owned was liberating. Beginning to see what’s important – clearly not our “stuff” – is getting the kids more involved. It’s been a wonderful, emotional, crazy, frustrating, slow process. I know there will always be upkeep, however I’ll be so relieved when the mass exodus has ended and we can live in our space with more ease. I appreciate any tips on how things can be altered for such a large family. Advice and reading other’s journeys is part of what helps continue to motivate me. Thank you!
Thanks for your post Jennifer. We are a family with 11 kids, 8 of whom are still at home. Your description of the difficulty of purging fits our situation perfectly. We began the process in the pantry of our kitchen, and once the entire kitchen was purged, the space (both physically, emotionally, and mentally) was relaxing and invigorating. We’ve got a long way to go, and seeing our boys’ legos strewn all over the floor is depressing at times. Any tips you some across to declutter as a large family would be most welcome. Good luck to you and your family.
Let the kids play with their lego.
I absolutely LOVE the idea of being a minimalist. Through the years we have been purging (mostly and effort led by me) and it feels GREAT! My husband is pretty much a take it or leave it type of person, so although he is not quick to get rid of stuff, he is not quick to buy a lot either. However, he will keep receipts, boxes things come in, etc. For me, I tend to get things I “think” I want, then end up getting rid of them. I made a decision within the last year to only buy things that I either REALLY want and will use, or absolutely need. So far, so good. We have lived in 2500-2200 sq ft, then down to 1400 sq ft, and now up to 1787 sq ft. I am ready to downsize again, as our townhome is three levels and most of the room and space does not get used. We are constantly evolving as a family, with only one child left in the home. I always end up a LOT happier when I have fewer possessions, so this REALLY resonates with me. I’ve pared down my wardrobe, my decor, excess cookware, etc. I decided to focus on the life I LIVE rather than the dream life that I have entertained subconsciously. I cook simple meals, so I do not need a lot of gadgets. Thanks for this blog!
2500 sq ft? That is HUGE!! In the Netherlands that is considered as being a millionaires palace. Most houses over here are just 80 to 120 sq meters (860 to 1300 sq ft), but many people live in appartments. In Amsterdam a typical appartment has a footprint (living space) of just 60 sq m (646 sq ft). Not to mention that some neighborhoods were built around 1895, and that you can have a conversation with next door – without leaving your own house. I lived for 12 years in a appartment that was just 28 sq m (300 sq ft), but then I was a bachelor…. Reading this, one could wonder if the Dutch are native born minimalists; but it is just the opposite. Most Dutch people are just like Americans, the same amount of stuff only less sq ft to store it… I try to downsize my own stuff and this blog helped me a lot. But I guess I am addicted to books :-)
I often feel guilty as a single person who lives alone, because I feel like I need my own set of everything – kitchen basics, furniture, etc. But for me living alone is extremely important. The downside is I tend to avoid hosting people because I have no serving wares, no large table, only like 3 plates/utensils, 2 chairs, etc.
I am thankful for these honest posts. My heart’s desire is more space, less things, and more time to focus on what really matters to us. Relationships. And my struggle with the idea of what minimalism looks like to us has been the idea of downsizing. We enjoy hosting friends and gatherings in our home and want to have a welcome and inviting space while at the same time not having things just for the sake of filling space. I’m glad to know you have been so successful in your pursuit of this while at the same time staying connected in your community.
Hi Josh! Thank you for this article and especially this post. I am a stay-at-home mom and a part-time student in my final semester. My family and I have been gravitating towards minimalism over the last couple of years, but we are still overwhelmed with stuff.
This semester, I am taking a blogging class, and I have decided to write about minimalism. I am completely new to the community, and I am very excited to learn and share!
I quoted this particular post in my first post because it brought me such a peace of mind about finding what is best for my own family. My favorite part is that becoming minimalist should be freeing and not cumbersome. This has really helped me relax in this journey a little more!
Thanks!
@ClutterMama